NASCAR Discussion - Sperg out about four left turns here

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A.P. Hill said:
A street race in Nascar is one of the stupidest ideas I could ever think about, and I have no idea why anyone other than a corporate shill would support it. They're already boring, single file races with open wheel cars that are built for it. Stock cars are going to go around in a 60 mph conga line. There's a reason why Nascar's never done it before- it's not because they're arbitrarily discriminating against it, it's because it will make for a bad product. Same thing with them stopping dirt tracks after 1970.

The only argument I see why this is a good idea is "it will get a lot more eyes on the product". What's more important than getting a bunch of new viewers is integrity. This means finding a core identity and keeping it. In Nascar's case, during the 90s it was stock car racing on asphalt oval and sweeping road courses. Why is this important? Because Phelps and O'Donnell have proved they have ZERO integrity, and will happily take any opportunity to do every fad trend they can find or just straight up dump on their long-time fans to go after demographics who will never watch no matter what they do. Nascar may temporarily get more eyes on the series, but with no integrity they will never keep them. People become fans because of a good product, not WWE on wheels. I'm glad Formula E is still the gimmicky joke of the racing world because Nascar seems to be trying hard to match it.

In completely unrelated stuff, can we get a list of Stock Car Cows going? I'll nominate a few.

DRIVERS
-Bubba Wallace (he of the garage door pull fame, the Lewis Hamilton of Nascar, became the BLM spokesperson for clout, Nascar's first woke "winner", in every commercial and has more sponsorship than any other driver despite running 20th every week)
-Danica Patrick (GIRLBOSS, the Queen of Crash, nothing was ever her fault, just as bad at commentating as she was at racing, dropped by her sponsor for being bad)
NASCAR EXECS
-Brian France (Drunk retard who drove the sport into the ground with gimmicks, sued a Twitter account for parodying him)
REPORTERS/INTERNET PERSONALITIES
-Jim Utter (Hot-taking idiot, says insensitive things about drivers, tries to get people who park in his spot towed, Owned by Barstool)
-Jason Jacoby (Schizo who spent $30k on a simulator despite working at Domino's, confirmed pedo, bigot and wifebeater, threatens anyone who mentions him, currently in jail)
-Darian Gillam/Black Flags Matter (The Nascar Community's #1 Moral Crusader and Jason Jacoby Hunter, Bubba Wallace nuthugger and Corporate Shill, Perpetually Seething)
 COMMUNITIES
Bubba Wallace fanboys/Nascar Twitter (A bunch of terminally online trannies who are Definitely Not Paid by Nascar who complain about everybody being racist and blame everyone else when Bubba finishes 20th)

Did I miss anyone?
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I didn't know about Utter before. Fuuuuuuck. It's not every day you find someone who made fun of an athlete's anxiety and also pissed off Portnoy. That's amazing.

I can't really add to the drivers in the modern era other than to say I've got my eye on Ty Gibbs as having potential. Honorable Mention for Jimmie making an ass of himself in Indycar.

One of the problems is 'the modern era', NASCAR is so much less "colorful" than it used to be than the legacy era, even the 80s, or even the NASCAR Explosion era. Modern drama just pales in comparison.

How about Team Owners/Employees? Sadly I think the sheer money of the Charter Era will snuff out any zany characters. Back in the explosion era I would've had my eye on Rick "House Arrest" Hendrick.

Yuuichirou Kumada said:
The last place I'd expect NASCAR to run on is in a tight-ass street track. I still don't see the logic. And in Chicago of all places. Why couldn't they reform Chicagoland instead?

I remember the Brazilian Stock Car championship held some street races in distinct cities, and they fucking sucked due to lack of overtaking and excess of yellow flags over mishandled accidents. Even the drivers complained, and anyone who knows racing could see why. Those cars were not like the V8 Supercars that were built with tight road courses in mind, and NASCAR is much worse in that aspect.

Also, if they were racing on dirt again, why cover Bristol in it? Why not take it to a proper dirt oval like Eldora or one of those state fair tracks that used to be all the rage in the beginning of the category? Or if they were going for the gimmick route, a horse racing track like Churchill Downs?
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This was brought up, and they said no to Chicagoland because nobody went to that. Which is true but who's going to go to downtown Chiraq?

The new Cup cars are so big I really think it's going to be a parade and that's something NASCAR can't abide, agreed.

It's Bristol, not Eldora, because 162,000 seats >30,000. And numbers are hard to find but they said '21 sold out.

Double, but it's 'news' so whatever.

Speaking of potential NASCAR or ex-NASCAR lolcows, the SRX race had Smoke bein' Smoke.




Also, I know every single media everything now must have at least one nigger, but why do they keep pulling out Willie T? He's obviously got some serious brain issues.
 
Mikoyan said:
Double, but it's 'news' so whatever.

Speaking of potential NASCAR or ex-NASCAR lolcows, the SRX race had Smoke bein' Smoke.


Racing RoundTable - Tony - “that the dumbest 💩 you can do, I swear to god.” #SRX [1540862886...mp4

Also, I know every single media everything now must have at least one nigger, but why do they keep pulling out Willie T? He's obviously got some serious brain issues.
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Willie's half vegetable interview skills rules ass and I hope he keeps going until he's six feet under.

And Tony Stewart ain't fucking around. He will MURDER you for this.
 
Aw wow, Tony Stewart. But Joey Logano will always be the worst, especially the obvious 2015 seasons.
 
Anyone been keeping up with Xfinity? Parker Retzlaff looks like a possible star in the making. He's working a limited schedule as an 18 year old and has a top ten finish and I believe he's had three straight top 15's.

NASCAR can seriously be gay as fuck but there's no doubting all the young talent coming up through the ranks for the last five years.

There are a ton of young talented guys under 25 and the foundation is being laid for NASCAR to have it's best collection of talent since the 90s tbh.

Now if only NASCAR itself would stop fucking up and shitting on their main fanbase in favor of the endless chase of nationwide acceptance.
 
Mikoyan said:
How about Team Owners/Employees? Sadly I think the sheer money of the Charter Era will snuff out any zany characters. Back in the explosion era I would've had my eye on Rick "House Arrest" Hendrick.
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Great point. Here are a few.

TEAM OWNERS/MORE DRIVERS
-Mike Harmon (Deathfat, threatens to fight in Applebee's parking lots, suspended for illegal testing)
-Jennifer Jo Cobb and Her Husband (The evangelical rolling chicane who was banned from running the Daytona 500 for being bad and her husband who got arrested for punching out a 74 year old spotter)
-Drew Dollar (Talentless nepotismbabby dart without wings who gets into Twitter fights with his former team owner)
-Bobby and Tia Norfleet (Race grifter who sued Nascar after failing to qualify all but one race he ran in a car that they paid for, and his daughter who faked being a Nascar driver)
-Natalie Decker (The TikTok/OnlyFans Thot Version of Danica Patrick: Now With Even Less Talent!)
-Daniel Dye (Petty descended 18 year old douche bro who sack tapped a kid so hard he's now facing jail time)

While Jesse Iwuji is one of the worst race car drivers of all time, he seems like too much of an upstanding person to be a cow. Likewise, there are plenty of historical cows, like the Iranian woman who used her Busch team to launder money, but not as many today. 10 years ago the Busch brothers were definitely cows.

In other news, Bubba Wallace finally lost it on his pit crew after another loose wheel. I don't blame him- they're legitimately terrible- but I don't have a lot of sympathy for who it's happening to. I have even less sympathy for his fanboys who immediately used the incident to create a false persecution narrative "oh, rayciss people are calling him a whiner because he's blAaAaAaAck!!!!" and claiming that people make excuses for Kyle Busch and Kevin Harvick doing the same thing. I was about to wonder where they were when people were constantly shitting on Kyle for being an entitled crybaby, but then I remembered they only started watching the sport when noosegate happened.
 
Bubba Wallace would probably kill himself he got booed as much as Kyle Busch.

Bubba is dangerously close to become wholly irrelevant soon anyway because Rajah Carruth is starting to get opportunities in IROC and Xfinity and he's an actual talented black driver that's not even 20 years old yet
 
A.P. Hill said:
Great point. Here are a few.

TEAM OWNERS/MORE DRIVERS
-Mike Harmon (Deathfat, threatens to fight in Applebee's parking lots, suspended for illegal testing)
-Jennifer Jo Cobb and Her Husband (The evangelical rolling chicane who was banned from running the Daytona 500 for being bad and her husband who got arrested for punching out a 74 year old spotter)
-Drew Dollar (Talentless nepotismbabby dart without wings who gets into Twitter fights with his former team owner)
-Bobby and Tia Norfleet (Race grifter who sued Nascar after failing to qualify all but one race he ran in a car that they paid for, and his daughter who faked being a Nascar driver)
-Natalie Decker (The TikTok/OnlyFans Thot Version of Danica Patrick: Now With Even Less Talent!)
-Daniel Dye (Petty descended 18 year old douche bro who sack tapped a kid so hard he's now facing jail time)

While Jesse Iwuji is one of the worst race car drivers of all time, he seems like too much of an upstanding person to be a cow. Likewise, there are plenty of historical cows, like the Iranian woman who used her Busch team to launder money, but not as many today. 10 years ago the Busch brothers were definitely cows.

In other news, Bubba Wallace finally lost it on his pit crew after another loose wheel. I don't blame him- they're legitimately terrible- but I don't have a lot of sympathy for who it's happening to. I have even less sympathy for his fanboys who immediately used the incident to create a false persecution narrative "oh, rayciss people are calling him a whiner because he's blAaAaAaAck!!!!" and claiming that people make excuses for Kyle Busch and Kevin Harvick doing the same thing. I was about to wonder where they were when people were constantly shitting on Kyle for being an entitled crybaby, but then I remembered they only started watching the sport when noosegate happened.
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Harmon! Yes. I loled so hard that evening. Literally Talladega Nights up in there.

Yeah, I go back and forth on Iwuji. He seems to be a good guy, but goddamn can he not drive, like at all.

Speaking of which, the fuck is up with Ogata in Xfinity? That is an... unusual story.

On Bubba: I am one of the biggest decriers of Lewis Hamilton being a whiny bitch to his crew around, but I can't really blame Bubba for last weekend. Dude got fucked, again. It's the kind of frustration drivers need to control, but for once I can't blame him. The fanboys can fuck right off though.
 
Goyaanisqatsi said:
Bubba Wallace would probably kill himself he got booed as much as Kyle Busch.

Bubba is dangerously close to become wholly irrelevant soon anyway because Rajah Carruth is starting to get opportunities in IROC and Xfinity and he's an actual talented black driver that's not even 20 years old yet
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I was at Bristol where the entire crowd booed the shit out of Bubba as he came around the track for the introductions and he looked like he was going to have a nervous breakdown.

As for Caruth, sad to say that he'll probably just end up being the next generation's Bubba. People forget it, but Bubba used to be an up and coming prospect that people were excited for, and then after waiting for years for a seat to open up at a good team he realized it was just as profitable and much less work to be a race grifter instead of improving, and now he's getting the most sponsorship money of any driver and being front and center in broadcast promos while farting around in 15th every week. Same thing with Danica Patrick. The cachet of being "the only x group driver" outweighs the need for talent because you'll get eyes on you just for being a Protected Class. If Ernie Francis gets to Indy, he'll probably be the same way.

(This is not to say I want multiple black drivers in Nascar, that would be a horrific thought and would bring shame to my Confederate ancestors. They already have almost every sport in existence, leave one for us please)
 
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A.P. Hill said:
Great point. Here are a few.

TEAM OWNERS/MORE DRIVERS
-Mike Harmon (Deathfat, threatens to fight in Applebee's parking lots, suspended for illegal testing)
-Jennifer Jo Cobb and Her Husband (The evangelical rolling chicane who was banned from running the Daytona 500 for being bad and her husband who got arrested for punching out a 74 year old spotter)
-Drew Dollar (Talentless nepotismbabby dart without wings who gets into Twitter fights with his former team owner)
-Bobby and Tia Norfleet (Race grifter who sued Nascar after failing to qualify all but one race he ran in a car that they paid for, and his daughter who faked being a Nascar driver)
-Natalie Decker (The TikTok/OnlyFans Thot Version of Danica Patrick: Now With Even Less Talent!)
-Daniel Dye (Petty descended 18 year old douche bro who sack tapped a kid so hard he's now facing jail time)

While Jesse Iwuji is one of the worst race car drivers of all time, he seems like too much of an upstanding person to be a cow. Likewise, there are plenty of historical cows, like the Iranian woman who used her Busch team to launder money, but not as many today. 10 years ago the Busch brothers were definitely cows.

In other news, Bubba Wallace finally lost it on his pit crew after another loose wheel. I don't blame him- they're legitimately terrible- but I don't have a lot of sympathy for who it's happening to. I have even less sympathy for his fanboys who immediately used the incident to create a false persecution narrative "oh, rayciss people are calling him a whiner because he's blAaAaAaAck!!!!" and claiming that people make excuses for Kyle Busch and Kevin Harvick doing the same thing. I was about to wonder where they were when people were constantly shitting on Kyle for being an entitled crybaby, but then I remembered they only started watching the sport when noosegate happened.
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I also remembered the time where Jennifer Jo Cobb said in an interview, I believe it was saying something against Start-&-Park drivers, but then she/her team does it herself too.

Also, would John Wes Townley count as being a NASCAR Lolcow, given that he was funded by his dad (owner of Zaxby's chicken), and spun so many times that it became a meme? He even managed to spin out in practice for a Cup event, and was immediately pulled out of the race afterwards. Then again, he did manage to win a few events, so he wasn't completely a talentless hack, like some of those people you mentioned. (I think)

He even managed to get into a fight with Spencer Gallagher:


FOX UFC even commented on the fight, in hilarious fashion:


And in regards to the Bubba Wallace raging at his pit crew, how bad is it, compared to Kurt Busch's raging at his team during his low points of his career?
 
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Thiletonomics said:
Also, would John Wes Townley count as being a NASCAR Lolcow, given that he was funded by his dad (owner of Zaxby's chicken), and spun so many times that it became a meme? He even managed to spin out in practice for a Cup event, and was immediately pulled out of the race afterwards. Then again, he did manage to win a few events, so he wasn't completely a talentless hack, like some of those people you mentioned. (I think)
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Inactive lolcow. He got shot and killed for trying to threaten his ex-girlfriend with a gun.
 
A.P. Hill said:
Inactive lolcow. He got shot and killed for trying to threaten his ex-girlfriend with a gun.
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Oh wow, now that's a fall from Grace. (not that he had any to begin with, given how he couldn't drive for shit)

Now I hope that same fate doesn't happen to Tracy Krohn, given how he was memed for spinning in WEC races too, especially at LeMans.
 
Thiletonomics said:
How fluke was Wallace's win, compared to Danica Patrick's win in IndyCar at Twin Ring Motegi, who just happened to get the lead at the end of the race, when everyone had to pit? At least Charlie Kimball's win at Mid-Ohio was a hard-earned victory by him.
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Old post, but here's an interesting fact about that race:
That was Danica Patrick's only race win... throughout her ENTIRE professional racing career.

Not of Indycar. Not of open-wheel racing. Her whole 20 year long professional career.

tranica stats.png

6 pole positions. 3 fastest laps. And above all else, ZERO championships. That has got to be in contention for one of the most pathetic motorsport careers of all time.
 
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Chicago disaster to be announced tomorrow according to Pockrass. It does give me a slight bit of hope to see even Reddit is shitting on it but this should never have even been entertained as a potential race in the first place.
 
A.P. Hill said:
Chicago disaster to be announced tomorrow according to Pockrass. It does give me a slight bit of hope to see even Reddit is shitting on it but this should never have even been entertained as a potential race in the first place.
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I like that the biggest cope from the commentariat about the Chicago street race has been "Well nothing's been announced yet..." for the most well sourced 'rumor' in ages.

It'll be spun as a success, it has to be. The cowed press will go "Well, the last Road America race was borin' wasn't it?" and "Look, we gotta try new things". I'm sure they'll do what they're doing with the new Detroit street course and have 'free access' areas and they'll count all the wildlife that's there to steal people's stuff as "fans" and there we go. SUCCESS FOR NASCAR.

Also waiting to see the fun spin on officials being on stage with literal fucking goblin Lori Lightfoot.
 
Mikoyan said:
I like that the biggest cope from the commentariat about the Chicago street race has been "Well nothing's been announced yet..." for the most well sourced 'rumor' in ages.

It'll be spun as a success, it has to be. The cowed press will go "Well, the last Road America race was borin' wasn't it?" and "Look, we gotta try new things". I'm sure they'll do what they're doing with the new Detroit street course and have 'free access' areas and they'll count all the wildlife that's there to steal people's stuff as "fans" and there we go. SUCCESS FOR NASCAR.

Also waiting to see the fun spin on officials being on stage with literal fucking goblin Lori Lightfoot.
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It is such a Nascar moment to give a race to a track that's been open since the 60s, have it draw 100,000+, and then yank it for a literal meme race because those weren't the kind of fans the higher-ups wanted.
 
A.P. Hill said:
It is such a Nascar moment to give a race to a track that's been open since the 60s, have it draw 100,000+, and then yank it for a literal meme race because those weren't the kind of fans the higher-ups wanted.
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100k+ on a weekend that race organizers usually dislike because people do family gatherings. It's a huge draw and good for the track especially. But they don't count, they're race fans, not aspiring rappers.

One thing I was thinking about just the other day that's applicable. The calculus for what it means for a race to be 'profitable' is probably way different for ISC tracks ("NASCAR tracks" I guess now) than SMI or anyone else, simply because a race track/promoter is trying to run the facility and make a profit on their own. NASCAR can take a hit on event profitability if they're getting some back somewhere else, whether that's TV rating, something a premier sponsor wants (Coke at minimum would love Chicago), or 6 dimensional chess leading to profit(?).

We don't know (and will probably never know) the exact money split between city and NASCAR to put this on but it is probably low risk for them, and people tuning in to see just how terrible it is will make it okay on TV. I bet anyway. If they jam pack it with rap concerts thrown in for free like the Clash it might even work at the event - just like the coliseum, they're not there to see the race but money's money.
 
d6e17c659c9d1b472ddc85ca7a3abb2c.jpg

If you wanted a parade of NASCAR cars, you could have just organized it as such. No need to turn it into a "race".
 
Yuuichirou Kumada said:
View attachment 3507651
If you wanted a parade of NASCAR cars, you could have just organized it as such. No need to turn it into a "race".
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Guess who was there to promote it! Current champion Kyle Larson? Former champion and most popular driver Chase Elliott? Legendary veteran Kevin Harvick? Even more legendary veteran Kyle Busch? Maybe even local "driver" Danica Patrick?
1658274250097.png

Honk fucking honk. :stress:
 
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