My FINEGER ITCHES

[Doji]

WHYYY?

I keep biting my thumb but it won't stop.

 

[PipTheAlchemist]

Shove your thumb far up your ass, then sniff it. That should stop the itching

 

[Shig O'nella]

Stop fucking about and pull the trigger.

 

[Dysnomia]

It's skin cancer. Cut your thumb off to stop the spread.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

I used to know someone with a chinchilla and I would put my hand in its cage and it would run out and grab my finger with its little chinchilla paws then start to nibble on my nail. Except then it would eventually get a little overzealous and bite too far down and get the nail bed which would make me flinch and so it would get startled and run back into its chinchilla shelter. Then I'd put my hand back in and eventually it would come back out and grab my finger and start chewing again.

 

[DumbDude42]

play with your cat until it bites your fingers, that will distract you from the itching

 

[Sicklick]

PULL THE TRIGGER ALREADY YOU STUPID FUCK! KILL ME! TASE ME IN THE FACE! TASE ME IN THE MOUTH! TASE ME IN THE ASS!

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

stop finger banging Zoe Quinn then

 

[Brigadoom]

Use a finger nail to make an X over the spot that itches and it'll go away instantly. It sounds retarded but it actually works. Also shove ur thumb up MY ass.

 

[JethroTullamore]

Put it in my butt.

 

[Doji]

I used to know someone with a chinchilla and I would put my hand in its cage and it would run out and grab my finger with its little chinchilla paws then start to nibble on my nail. Except then it would eventually get a little overzealous and bite too far down and get the nail bed which would make me flinch and so it would get startled and run back into its chinchilla shelter. Then I'd put my hand back in and eventually it would come back out and grab my finger and start chewing again.

Jeez, just use a nail clipper.

 

[Brigadoom]

Jeez, just use a nail clipper.

I second this because what the fuck my nigga? Never in my life have I heard someone use a damn dog to groom their finger nails.

 

[Manul Otocolobus]

It's probably herpetic whitlow. Surgical intervention is the only way to cure it. Or amputation, but that's rather extreme.

I second this because what the fuck my nigga? Never in my life have I heard someone use a damn dog to groom their finger nails.

They're rodents in their own family, Chinchillidae.

 

[Doji]

It's probably herpetic whitlow. Surgical intervention is the only way to cure it. Or amputation, but that's rather extreme.

It doesn't itch anymore but maybe I'll amputate it for the future.