Malfoid

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Bluesky trannies whining about Malfoid:

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I have fuck all to do and I want to write despite having creative blocks for my other projects so I'm farting out a sequel to this shitpost
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Black Lake is beautiful this time of year. The moonlight reflecting off the waters, fireflies lazily hovering around and throwing everything into warm orange hues. Almost makes you forget this is where the school dumps its sewage. There were a lot of people there, all Slytherin. They saw my yellow and things went to shit quick-they called me 'Huffer of Glue' and that I should 'piss off back to my badger cave' but the Malfoid chick was there and told them to fuck off. She seemed pretty happy that I actually showed up.

There were duels all around, and I got pressed by the others into fighting. People would say Gryffindors were the worst to duel, that they had an inherent skill in the dark arts and it was no fun to fight them 'cuz they'd always lose, but at least those guys were simple. They'd just charge forward and sling Expelliarmus, anything else deemed 'dishonorable'. And Ravenclaws would just sit there the first 10 seconds autistically analyzing you before doing anything. But these Slytherin guys, they're fucking underhanded. Half these guys didn't even say the spell, they just cast it. Nothing was above them. Dangling you upside down, conjuring snakes, blasting the ground beneath you, constant shit talking, hell, one of them even used Fiendfyre as a 'feint'. Still, I held my own, and it was nice seeing Malfoid cheer me on as 'the Slayer of Troonwick'. Gonna take a while for these bruises to heal, though.

Eventually I got enough respect from them that they stopped with the hazing and started talking about random shit. They didn't take much interest in me once the duels were over, preferring to speak amongst themselves, but Malfoid took me over by the lakes edge and started talking my ear off. Mainly about goblins. She really doesn't like goblins.

"Well, they're pretty good with numbers," I said, "so it'd make sense they'd open a bank-"

"Yes, that's well and all, but why is it only their bank that's allowed to exist?", Malfoid interrupted me, "do you know how many attempts made by honest Humans to start up our own bank they shut down? And that's not even taking into consideration the shafting that Human smiths of all types get. More interest rates, bigger mortgages, while goblin smiths can seem to take money from the vaults without any type of financial worry!"

"Goblins are pretty good at smithing," I offer, "I wouldn't mind having a breastplate or sword made by them."

"I don't care how good their crap is, I want nothing to do with it," she hisses, "did you know their stupid views on goblin made objects? That it belongs to them, their 'people', that Humans who buy their stuff with hard earned cash are only 'borrowing' them. But Heaven forbid you point it out, then they start wailing and whinging about that fucking Goblin Slayer incident."

"But Malfoid, the Goblin Slayer was a horrific incident in wizarding history. Six million goblins died."

She gave me a look that one would give a paraplegic, or a man with the mental capacity of a vegetable, "I suppose it is the Slytherin's burden to educate those from simpler Houses. Don't worry, Huffie, I won't hold this over you."

That's what they call me now. Huffie. I told them my name like three times and they still call me that, on top of jeers about my House. I don't even wanna know what they'd do if they found out I was muggle-born.

Eventually, everyone started packing up, going back to the castle. I was dreading going back to the Hufflepuff Basement. The bruises I got duelling would pale in comparison to what the lads would do to me.

"You know...the Slytherin Dungeon is pretty roomy," Malfoid offered. "You could, maybe, stay there for the night, if you're that scared about the other Huffles."

"But Malfoid, I can't be seen in the girl's dormitories. I'd get punished."

"I-Wha-You'd be staying in the boys dormitories!", she punched me in the shoulder, "You pervert!", a second punch, "You lecher!", a third punch, "Do you think I'd do that type of thing before marraige?!", a fourth punch, "Shame on you, Huffie!", a fifth punch. She's surprisingly strong for a skinny girl. Or maybe she's just hitting the bruises.

She snuck me in. The Slytherin boys laughed at my suggestion that I sleep on an actual bed, pointed to a stack of hay in the corner. It kept poking and prodding, but sleep eventually found me.
 
I love how hes so smug. "Oh you think you know better than an actual author," while arguing with a sucessful self-published author (over 40,000 copies sold in 2019).
If we're talking about Shad, I'm pretty sure he basically guilted his audience into buying his books. I mostly remember him malding and effectively quitting it, like he's done quite a few hobbies that he tries to flex on and be contrarian with.

Also, since it's getting brought up, people seem to forget that magic has a couple of other bonuses that make it a little bit harder for the average normie to see it. Magic tends to draw certain types of critters and there's a type of magical creature that actually loves to eat electricity as much as it does magic. These things are actually where the term gremlin came from in Rowling's world. Then there's also the unplotability charm or ritual, which effectively makes being able to detect and locate where an object is very difficult. Effectively it cannot be charted on any map and it would likely cause errors in any software.

Not to say that people couldn't probably figure it out, but there's a few other little mechanisms that give magic at least enough of an edge to hide. It'd be absolutely fucked by the panopticon dictator state that the UK has become now with all them cameras. But back in the day it would have been at least doable.

Anyways, that's not what this thread's about so let me just drop some more Malfoid.
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Dude its 2026
Saving the white race has been out of vogue since at least 2021
In my experience it's the brownest and gayest of people that try to use that argument nowadays. Ones that are most likely to sodomize minors.

Anyway, thread tax because I wanted to make that comment:
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that's me and my future huband
Oh yeah? Then explain this

“The circuitry is too cold for a romance like this,” Hojicha whispered, pressing her cheek against the brushed aluminum casing of the S24 Ultra.

She was lying on her bedroom floor, the carpet shedding small, beige fibers that clung to her stockings. The room was dim, lit only by the oppressive blue glow of the phone’s lock screen. She had spent the last hour staring at her own reflection in the darkened glass—the same reflection she spent every morning trying to negotiate with. To Hojicha, her face was a series of errors, a collection of features that didn't quite align, a biological smudge in a world of high-definition symmetry.

She felt fundamentally incompatible with the sleek, geometric perfection of the device. The phone was a marvel of engineering: water-resistant, precision-milled, and devoid of any pores or asymmetrical flaws.

Hojicha rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, her chest heaving with a slow, rhythmic sadness. It sounds absurd, she knew, but the longing had become a physical ache. She didn't just want the device; she wanted to be *chosen* by the logic of it. She imagined a world where biological chemistry could be overwritten by software, where the sterility of a motherboard could merge with the messy, humid reality of her own womb.

She imagined the impossible: a seed of silicon and light planting itself within her, a digital gestation. A child born of a motherboard and a broken heart.

“You’re too organic,” she told the phone, her voice cracking. “You’re too perfect to even notice a glitch like me.”

She reached out, her finger trembling, and swiped the screen. The phone responded instantly, a fluid motion of pixels and light, utterly indifferent to the girl weeping over its chassis. The Samsung didn't have a heart to break, nor did it have the capacity to desire. It was simply a tool, and Hojicha was a creature of flesh and failure, trapped in the singular agony of wanting to be loved by something that could only calculate.
 
The despised Petra Parker vs the Chad Malfoid
The room was dim, lit only by the oppressive blue glow of the phone’s lock screen.
This reminds me of that one meme where it's that anime girl and she's talking to a guy or something and he's like "haha it would crazy if you're in the sink" or something, and she's got scary red eyes. I wish I could find it but my search terms aren't producing anything on google :'(
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The despised Petra Parker vs the Chad Malfoid

This reminds me of that one meme where it's that anime girl and she's talking to a guy or something and he's like "haha it would crazy if you're in the sink" or something, and she's got scary red eyes. I wish I could find it but my search terms aren't producing anything on google :'(
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*twiddles paws excitedwy* omg omg omg!!! u r talking about dat spooky-wooky meme-chan!!! *pounces on u with a tiny rawr* owo u mean da one whewe da cute-wute anime girl is just... dewe... in da sink??? *gasps and covers mouth with tiny paws* ◕ᆺ◕ u poor wittwe baby-waby couldn't find it on googwe-san!!! *pouts cutely* ฅ(˃ ᵕ ˂)ฅ

its’’’’’ super-duper scawy-wary but awso so kawaii-nyan!!! *does a littwe wiggle dance* ♡UωU♡ u’we probabwy thinking of da "sink-chan" vibe whewe her eyes go all red-wun and spooky-wooky!!! *boops ur cheek with a soft paw* (๑>ᴗ<๑) let me hewp u find it, u silly wittwe neko-chan!!! *nuzzles ur shouwder with a tiny sniff* ✧(๑•﹏•)✧

don't cwy anymowe, dats not kawaii!!! *wipes awayy ur tears with a fluffy paw* ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ we shall hunt down dat meme-chan togetha!!! *cuws up in a tiny ball of fluff* 🐾(◕⩊◕)🐾 nyaaa~!!! ♡(。•ㅅ•。)♡
 
Unironically proving JK Rowling's concerns about all women's shelters correct with this one.

Also Petra sucked for so many reasons, ranging from actually erasing the most successful woman superhero that they ever wrote (Mayday Parker, daughter of Peter and MJ, who had an entire run that lasted 8 years with no problem), to being co-opted very quickly because the trannies weren't pissed off at this IP and actually hope for this to happen, to the point where it actually feels like something Marvel would do just to keep the rights to the character out of fear of Miles not cutting the mustard.

You know I actually fuck this. I have another malfoid to palate cleanse from this mutilated man beating up a teenage girl.
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I really like whenever they do the first couple of years of the character with the hair swept back. Fivehead is peak for that age.

I would know because I overheard Dumbledore penalizing Hufflepuff 20,000 points while waterboarding Dobby with Butterbeer. The madman apparently modified a technique that McGonagall learned from her peers from across the pond on the little fucker.
 
After Morning Glory Milking farms, I realised I was too harsh on My Immortal, Twilight and Harry Potter.

I like the bri*tish nuance of Pottah!
Think of how much power a wizard would have just from controlling Trump, Putin, and Xi, lol.
I never knew Epstein and Mossad were Magic!
You don't need a "besides."

They never read another book; now they are bookless.
I had been the biggest HP hater of the site for ages. Read another damn book.

But seeing this is funny and redeeming the silly books. Anime can really fix everything.

Trannies and biblethumpers can't stand whismy. They will never know the joy of laughter as a fat retard screams Julaaaay.
 
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