💰 Grifter "Mad at the Internet" - a/k/a My Psychotherapy Sessions

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SphinxItOver said:
Penmanship consultant perhaps? IDFK, here's some signature suggestion samples that can maybe help you figure out what you're gonna attempt.

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People care about signatures because it is a proxy for information on the person sending the letter. It takes time, hand eye coordination, and usually a good teacher or parent to ensure a kid can develop passable writing habits. Did people give a shit about you? Do you give a shit about you? Should "I" give a shit about you? It's like a visual equivalent of a good firm handshake.

There's entire youtube channels that cover handwriting and the majority of it is just stroke order and repetition. Learning a new style is as simple as just printing out a page and drawing over the letters until the hand muscle memory figures it out.

There's always the auto pen.
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He could go the chop/seal route as well.
Craft it from silver.

Britishmuseuminchaffreyabbeyseal.jpg Screenshot_2025-10-01_23-31-42.png
 
I notice a cheeky null reflection in the comic reviews

Don't suppose anyones tried to reconstruct it yet?
 
bookers said:
Who cares what your signature looks like, honestly.
theres a reason people type out their names on letters and then do a signature next to it
it's because nobody can fucking read your signature anyways

anyways
we should go back to medieval times where people would imprint wax with their signet rings.
it's a much cooler way of doing business.
although i guess the signature stamps above are sort of the modern version of this

anyways, like this is trumps signature.
can you read that shit? i fucking cant.
and everyone says he has a great signature (the best even, it's a beautiful signature, many are saying this).
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Duuulel Jrruud

Moths said:
I notice a cheeky null reflection in the comic reviews

Don't suppose anyones tried to reconstruct it yet?
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It's so blurry the information beyond skin tone ( white, surprisingly) is almost certainly lost.
 
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Null said:
Is there a name for a consultant that helps you sign your name? Everyone cries about my signature and I'm sick of it. I don't give a fuck and I'd sign with an X like an illiterate nigger but apparently this actually matters to people so I guess I have to give a shit about it.

Trying to persuade people is painful like ass cancer to me. Everyone is a stupid monkey fuck and I have to impress them to get what I want.
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Just get you one of these
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Null has the inability to see when people are joshing him and when it's a real criticism.

If Hardin or someone tells you to up your signature game, work on it. If it's chyat and Internet faggots, ignore them.

Consistency is key, getting above the line is nice. But literally nobody actually really cares.
 
reptile baht spaniard rid said:
Null has the inability to see when people are joshing him and when it's a real criticism.

If Hardin or someone tells you to up your signature game, work on it. If it's chyat and Internet faggots, ignore them.

Consistency is key, getting above the line is nice. But literally nobody actually really cares.
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Fuck you, I have to deal with fake concern trolling bullshit every day and have for the last 10+ years. It's not people being dickheads, it's extremely negative comments every time I make a tweet from accounts that follow me that are real accounts. "I LOVE YOU BRO BUT THAT'S A CHILD'S SIGNATURE", "PLEASE PRACTICE YOUR SIGNATURE NOBODY WILL TAKE THAT SERIOUSLY". I get offers from deeply concerned people offering to help me practice cursive like I'm in remedial classes.

No point complaining about it, people are just shitty animals. Fighting against human nature is a worthless endeavor. Just give the shitty animals what they want.
 
I like Null's signature, it's charming and modest. It has a quality of benevolence. It's not trying to be anything that it isn't.
 
Mongo0o said:
@Null Cover One Battle After Another. It's the newest Paul Thomas Anderson movie that is in direct response to the ICE deportations. It's getting insanely great reviews from critics and Letterbox freaks The message is extremely on the nose, and the right is portrayed as white supremacist, pedophiles, obsessed with jungle love.
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This is a shame, because it looks like one of the most well-shot films in over a decade - but the plot synopsis was just absolute garbage.

The novel it's based on looks like it was basically just written to glorify the Weather Underground and they've given it a current year reskin in the file.
 
Null said:
I don't give a fuck and I'd sign with an X like an illiterate nigger but apparently this actually matters to people so I guess I have to give a shit about it.
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Speed and confidence is the key. If you sign slowly and carefully, like a 4 year old who's just learning their letters, you can see it in the final result. Try drawing a straight line slowly, then just rip one really fast. Which looks more confident, more don't give-a-fuck? Which looks like it was done by an autist with knitted brows and tongue sticking out? How you sign shows in the result, so sign quickly and confidently, like you don't give a fuck, and that's what your signature will reflect.
 
Null said:
No point complaining about it, people are just shitty animals. Fighting against human nature is a worthless endeavor. Just give the shitty animals what they want.
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print this shit out and just keep practicing until yours looks like it fits with the rest

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John HugeCock style is not required, but fun. A signature should look like you wrote "fuck you" but with your name instead.
 
Tbh, my husband just signs with the same squiggly line on everything. I criticized it once because it wasn't even close to looking like his name. He replied that it didn't fucking matter. All that matters is that it's consistent on documents and can be signed quickly.

Meanwhile, I take like 10 seconds to write my full name in pretty cursive... I'd get a cramp if I had to sign more than 6 documents at once.
 
The more often you need to sign things, and longer your name is, the less literal and more squiggly your signature tends to get, just to save time.
That's why doctors sign with essentially a checkmark.
Here's an example:
Brandon Sanderson signs his books by hand, thousands upon thousands at a time (He livestreams it).
His signature looks like this:
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NSA said:
The more often you need to sign things, and longer your name is, the less literal and more squiggly your signature tends to get, just to save time.
That's why doctors sign with essentially a checkmark.
Here's an example:
Brandon Sanderson signs his books by hand, thousands upon thousands at a time (He livestreams it).
His signature looks like this:
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Yeah it's nuts the number of times he's signing things if you ever watch him do basically anything. He does it during his lectures and workshops, too. The guy is a workhorse, between coordinating his company, teaching, writing so prolifically and still taking time to do stuff with his wife and kids.
 
Castoreum said:
Tbh, my husband just signs with the same squiggly line on everything. I criticized it once because it wasn't even close to looking like his name. He replied that it didn't fucking matter. All that matters is that it's consistent on documents and can be signed quickly.
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This is what I do. I don't give a shit. Anyone who cares is a moron.
 
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