💰 Grifter "Mad at the Internet" - a/k/a My Psychotherapy Sessions

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All I can say is that I'm surprised Saberspark isn't a virgin considering how much of a turbo gooner he is when it comes to kids' cartoons.
 
Neil said:
All I can say is that I'm surprised Saberspark isn't a virgin considering how much of a turbo gooner he is when it comes to kids' cartoons.
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look all I know about gooner cartoons is the 90s classic sailor moon and the seven dragon balls.

oh that movie heavy metal

which can best be summed up by the south parks guys as a great film provided your 14 and its 1980.

It has boobs!!!
 
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northstar747 said:
which can best be summed up by the south parks guys as a great film provided your 14 and its 1980.

It has boobs!!!
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And a really fuckin good soundtrack. And call me a heathen, but I even liked the sequal. Michael Ironside was great, and Billy Idol was great. And the soundtrack was pretty decent, too. Well, mostly. I can do without ICP in any form. And I'm a sucker for hard scifi fantasy.

Now, I'll excuse myself to put on giant headphones and listen to Emerson, Lake, and Palmer - Tarkus.
 
I sometimes imagine a pickup artist dude-bro thinking 'manufacturing consent' is damn good seduction tactic—and buying the Noam Chomsky book.
IMG_1666.webp
 
_squall said:
Can we get MATI-themed consent forms for the next merch run? Maybe with a slobbermutt with a rose in his teeth?
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📝 Mutual Consent & Degeneracy Agreement Form​


(v69.0 – For Use by Internet-Poisoned Adults Only)



🔒 SECTION I: PARTICIPANT IDENTIFICATION​


  • Name (Legal or Discord Username): ______________________
  • Preferred Pronouns (or just send emoji): ________________
  • Vtuber Oshi (Top Waifu/Husbando): _____________________
  • Goon Cave Cleaned (Y/N): ☐ Yes ☐ No ☐ Is that a requirement?


💕 SECTION II: MUTUAL CONSENT TO INTERACT​


By signing this document, both parties agree that:


  1. We are engaging in this act willfully, without coercion, peer pressure, or parasocial manipulation by anime PNGs.
  2. Both parties understand that touching another human being is not the same as double-clicking a model in Blender.
  3. No one will pretend they "accidentally fell" onto anyone else.
  4. We are not related by blood, Discord server ownership, or mod status.


🧠 SECTION III: KINK DISCLOSURE ZONE​


Please indicate any absurd internet behaviors that may or may not be involved:


☐ Moaning like a vtuber after a $3 Superchat
☐ Saying “Let’s GOOOO” unironically
☐ Using meme sounds mid-intimacy (e.g., “bruh,” “skibidi,” etc.)
☐ Gooning for over 8 hours and forgetting what reality is
☐ Shouting “For Legal Reasons, That Was A Joke” at climax



🚨 SECTION IV: CANCEL INSURANCE​


The parties agree to:

  • Not post screenshots out of context unless it’s really funny.
  • Not invoke the term "grooming" unless an actual crime occurred.
  • Not "MeToo" each other unless we actually crossed a boundary.
  • In the event of future drama, both parties may say,
    “It was cringe, but we were both down bad.”


📸 SECTION V: MEDIA WAIVER​


☐ I consent to being seen naked, but not on TikTok
☐ No recording unless it's saved in a folder titled “Taxes 2024”
☐ No AI deepfakes unless I look hot in them



🖊 SECTION VI: SIGNATURES​


Signature of Participant A: ______________________
Signature of Participant B: ______________________


Date: ____ / ____ / 20____


Optional Verification Phrase: “I solemnly swear I won’t tweet about this.”

Addendum I have 2FA for my online accounts any leaks are not the results of hackers!
 
northstar747 said:
look all I know about gooner cartoons is the 90s classic sailor moon and the seven dragon balls.

oh that movie heavy metal

which can best be summed up by the south parks guys as a great film provided your 14 and its 1980.

It has boobs!!!
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NO!!!!!
Heavy Metal has boobs AND a bitchin’ soundtrack!!!!
Also the two best segments don’t have tits in it.
 
Null said:
he wasn't really, it was at the absolute apex of #MeToo and a few big corporations backed out, but iirc he's still a successful comedian.
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He was at his reputational peak and the movie he thought was his magnum opus was about to be released. He lost distribution for it and got fired from everything for a while.
He wants to be filmmaker Woody Allen, not comedian Woody Allen, so getting stuck being a mere standup with an audience of regular dudes instead of living the Oscar/festival circuit life is total career death for him.
But the important thing is: He has a tiny, ugly dick. Women hated him jerkin' it at them because it wasn't a sexual event for them, like a famous guy crankin' his huge hot hog would be. We all know the meme.
 
No-Eyed Square Guy said:
He was at his reputational peak and the movie he thought was his magnum opus was about to be released. He lost distribution for it and got fired from everything for a while.
He wants to be filmmaker Woody Allen, not comedian Woody Allen, so getting stuck being a mere standup with an audience of regular dudes instead of living the Oscar/festival circuit life is total career death for him.
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He's like Woody Allen in that he's a hideous ginger jew who makes bad penis decisions, so he'll have to settle for that.
No-Eyed Square Guy said:
But the important thing is: He has a tiny, ugly dick. Women hated him jerkin' it at them because it wasn't a sexual event for them, like a famous guy crankin' his huge hot hog would be. We all know the meme.
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I don't know the meme. I do know that dick size is a gay male obsession, and if it's too big, women want nothing to do with it.
Also, women don't want to watch louis ck do anything with his dick, and he knows it, that's why it got him off; he also made jerkoff phone calls to some of these women. He's a pervert and a jew, but I repeat myself.
 
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