💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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WhiskerBiscuit said:
It is worth noting that Lucas is no longer listed on the docket for municipal court since his 3rd charge was added for arraignments On 8/25. On 9/1 and 9/8, he was not Included in the scheduled status hearing or anything at all. this is based on the muni therapeutic court pdf of the weekly Tuesday docket. Other individuals who were in the previous dockets continued to have weekly status hearings which is how therapeutic court should go.
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Lucas was changed to biweekly meetings at Community Court every Tuesday 9am from 20 September to 12 January. There's nothing on what this program contains or why he was changed.
 
Mark my words. Lucas would chimpout if he found an acceptable baby zoom to take to clinkerdaggers, Churchill's, or Red Robin, or whatever over priced restaurant he is obsessed with. If they broke it off with him after he would be beside himself that he spent his tardbux on dinner and didn't get to have sex. He would be obessed with any woman stupid enough to go to dinner with him.
Fapcop said:
LOLOL OMG! Lucas is such a fucking simp.

Despite all his macho bravado and talking about women like they’re property (Don’t hoard the women y’all!) Lucas thinks it’s perfectly logical and fair if a woman goes on a date just to get a free meal.
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Da Dude123 said:
Mark my words. Lucas would chimpout if he found an acceptable baby zoom to take to clinkerdaggers, Churchill's, or Red Robin, or whatever over priced restaurant he is obsessed with. If they broke it off with him after he would be beside himself that he spent his tardbux on dinner and didn't get to have sex. He would be obessed with any woman stupid enough to go to dinner with him.
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Hey baby zoom zoom zoom zoOm zoom zoom zoom baby zoom zoom zoOm Hey baby Zoom zoom zoom baby zoom zoom zoom baby Hey baby zoom zoom zoom
 
INeedUhChickUnder26 said:
Hey baby zoom zoom zoom zoOm zoom zoom zoom baby zoom zoom zoOm Hey baby Zoom zoom zoom baby zoom zoom zoom baby Hey baby zoom zoom zoom
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Still can't believe "Baby Zoom," or "Baby Zoom II," didn't get Lucas noticed by "interesting smart pretty girls," or laid.

youtu.be

Hey, Baby Zoom II

Hey, bae-bae! #GenerationZ #Patreon #GenerationX Patreon: www.patreon.com/thewern Instagram: @lucaswerner79
youtu.be youtu.be

I wonder if there's ever been a man that could get laid after performing "Baby Zoom." I think that by the third "zoom" you're a sexual non-entity.
 
wenttobermuda said:
Still can't believe "Baby Zoom," or "Baby Zoom II," didn't get Lucas noticed by "interesting smart pretty girls," or laid.

youtu.be

Hey, Baby Zoom II

Hey, bae-bae! #GenerationZ #Patreon #GenerationX Patreon: www.patreon.com/thewern Instagram: @lucaswerner79
youtu.be youtu.be

I wonder if there's ever been a man that could get laid after performing "Baby Zoom." I think that by the third "zoom" you're a sexual non-entity.
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The ol' chicken/egg conundrum. Does Lucas not get laid because he performed Baby Zoom or did he perform Baby Zoom because he can't get laid? In this case I think the chicken and retarded egg arrived simultaneously.
 
youtu.be

Hey, Baby Zoom II

Hey, bae-bae! #GenerationZ #Patreon #GenerationX Patreon: www.patreon.com/thewern Instagram: @lucaswerner79
youtu.be youtu.be

Covering his eyes so he doesn't accidentally attract males and give them raging boners 🤣
 
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wenttobermuda said:
Still can't believe "Baby Zoom," or "Baby Zoom II," didn't get Lucas noticed by "interesting smart pretty girls," or laid.

youtu.be

Hey, Baby Zoom II

Hey, bae-bae! #GenerationZ #Patreon #GenerationX Patreon: www.patreon.com/thewern Instagram: @lucaswerner79
youtu.be youtu.be

I wonder if there's ever been a man that could get laid after performing "Baby Zoom." I think that by the third "zoom" you're a sexual non-entity.
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I think the strongest reaction this "song" stirs is the desire to plank Lucas in the face with a 2x4.
 
Since we have a void needing to be filled as Lukey got his phone swiped, please enjoy the report from the “”””assault””””
ACEBAFF2-7641-4E3A-BD2B-E265A4951E29.jpeg
E06A23BE-12FD-4116-A563-4CE077CD6972.jpeg
 
"Lucas claimed he had a bump on his head, but all I could see was a pimple."

Lol! Well at the very least we know he exaggerated what happened, if anything happened at all. Of course, Lucas would go to the hospital because he is a ward of the state and gets free medical care due to his exceptionalism. But I sort of doubt he went to the hospital.

I doubt there is actually any video of this.



LightEmittingDiode said:
Since we have a void needing to be filled as Lukey got his phone swiped, please enjoy the report from the “”””assault””””
View attachment 1591395View attachment 1591396
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That police report is a thing of beauty. I'm kind of surprised he didn't try to blame Chris Hansen to the cop or at least ramble about kiwi farms like an insane person. When I get to covering Lucas again I'll definitely have to read that.
 
darkwingosonichugorl said:
Lucas was changed to biweekly meetings at Community Court every Tuesday 9am from 20 September to 12 January. There's nothing on what this program contains or why he was changed.
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where did we get this info?

Edit to add:
Rescuetoast said:
Every time he says “baby zoom” I read it to the tune of Baby Shark.
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Baby zoom doo doo to doo
Baby zoom doo doo to doo
Baby zoom

Gen X creep doo doo to doo
Gen X creep doo doo to doo
Gen x creep

Pitch a fit doo doo to doo
Pitch a fit doo doo to doo
Pitch a fit

report fake crimes doo doo to doo
report fake crimes doo doo to doo
report fake crimes!

manic shouts doo doo to doo
manic shouts doo doo to doo
Manic shouts

Gorge and smoke doo doo to doo
Gorge and smoke doo doo to doo
Gorge and smoke

die alone doo doo to doo
die alone doo doo to doo
die alone!
 
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I'm interested to hear how homeless Lucas fared in our air today. The city opened a 24 hour clean air refuge at the convention center downtown.
 

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Fatal Walter said:
That police report is a thing of beauty. I'm kind of surprised he didn't try to blame Chris Hansen to the cop or at least ramble about kiwi farms like an insane person. When I get to covering Lucas again I'll definitely have to read that.
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when you do, you should reference this video as Lucas’s Self-Rebuttal against his recent spat of videos arguing that he’s totally not racist because “he has a brown friend”.
 
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