💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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Even if he finally manages to get into a college, Lucas has one major obstacle that he will never overcome and that is handling criticism, especially from those who know far more than he does. This isn't Facebook or Twitter where he can utilize a block button. However, he will probably get booted for being a stage 5 creeper. As time goes by, the tolerance for this sorta behavior diminishes.
 
Today is the day he's claiming to enroll, so I expect some amusing update. I don't want to say anything negative about the CC system, but yea it's also 13th grade. Someone like Lucas assuming they aren't well, Lucas it's perfect for if you are unsure your major or getting back into things even just brushing up for self improvement its way lower entry barriers. To be completely frank as someone who's been on both sides of a college class room, unless you want to be something specialized, say a MD, JD or few other programs (depending on CC offering) it's smarter to use CC for two years and transfer, more and more schools do this.

But since we've said over and over this is both Lucas bragging about shit he hasn't done yet even and more so to look important pulling girls. We all know and agree if some how he sets foot on a campus or class room it'll fail.

One thing that was quite telling out of the fake PhD's he plans on getting, none of them are remotely related to his passion, telomeres. They are the crux of his insane pseudo science. This is one thing I enjoy about Lucas, is he just so damned stupid he doesn't even know he's picked the wrong fields for something he's an expert in? Is he picked the claims he has to sound best? Or perhaps, deep down he knows he's full of bull shit and scared to defend himself against pros in a room of educated students. If he started rambling this stuff, it would cause an entire auditorium of 100 students to full belly laugh at him. His ego is fragile as hell.

To expand on his ego, I don't think he's aware you need pre-reqs and unrelated stuff. That's how college is. As someone who went for econ, I don't know why I had a human sexuality class mandated, I don't think any of the girls even had seen a vagina. (I keed I keed) but that's what the rules are. I can't see Lucas being in an English class and not being upset it's not putting him to his goal faster and not understanding some pre reqs are needed. You need English because you need to write research papers if you are a scientist or most anything.

Perhaps a touch A-loggy but being he's kinda dumb. If he got in I'd love to see him sitting in high school level math classes with people his age and older first going back to school and rusty. Thinking he's gonna be wooed by dozens of 18 year old thot's and he's got a bunch of blue collar workers who want to better their life and forgot the Algebra they were taught 20 years ago. Also, they would be even less tolerant of Lucas' antics in the class room.

Lastly, and forgive this for becoming a bit of a novel. But how is he gonna get there and back? He's running out of time for his tard house, so the money he has will need to be spent. Even the most bum apartments/rooms the dep and all will clean his meger savings out. He's terrible with money he has no car. It's implied his tard wrangler is helping him today (if indeed true) but I don't think a daily back and forth to class. Can he walk there? He's probably not got money for bus/uber etc. Also we aren't even sure he can get in for free.

It's amazing how simple it is to poke holes in theses stories but like anyone who's both lazy and egotistically, they put the cart before the horse. If he even tries to sign up for class he probably will start demanding people address him as DR. Only cock suckers MD and people who don't have PhD's do that.
 
It could be walkable for a determined student trying to better their lives, but that would have to be a really extreme case. But certainly not for Lucas. It would be a 10 mile RT walk for him and I remember correctly, he used to brag about him walking 2 miles per day.
 
Forgive me for copy pasta off wiki : Although walking speeds can vary greatly depending on many factors such as height, weight, age, terrain, surface, load, culture, effort, and fitness, the average human walking speed at crosswalks is about 5.0 kilometres per hour (km/h), or about 1.4 meters per second (m/s), or about 3.1 miles per hour (mph).

Assuming Lucas can or does walk the avg speed that's 3.225(and change) hours per class day of walking. Being he's ballooning back up, I don't think he could muster it let alone at that speed. Fatties gonna fat. While it would be good for him (I don't think he's walking anymore since he constantly re-affirms bragging what he does) that would be quite the starting point for someone his size. Even if he was die hard determined, that would be quite the challenge to finish. Doing it a few times a week? No way his body wouldn't hold out.
 
Ironically, the fastest route he would have to take would be up and down "Doomsday Hill". Every year we have 40,000+ people do Bloomsday which is a 7.4 mile run/walk. Doomsday Hill is right at the end, and it SUCKS walking up. There is no way fatty could do that multiple times per week.
 
So...anybody want to guess how long it is before he applies for a mobility scooter so he can zoom past the losers who don't enjoy access to the Medicare system like he does? I'm betting he'll get a vanity plate: EBT4ME or T-DADDY
 
He made his Twitter private.
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TelomereJones said:
He made his Twitter private.
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I can still see him, but I think I'm following him. I can't tell for sure. I don't totally understand this twatter shit, but I joined to follow this particular cow.

He seems to post a dozen or so within 15 minutes but multiple times a day. I can't keep up with that shit. All he has is time. I'm a bigot 0.000001% with bills and a job I have to go to.
 
XxxwernxxX said:
I can still see him, but I think I'm following him. I can't tell for sure. I don't totally understand this twatter shit, but I joined to follow this particular cow.

He seems to post a dozen or so within 15 minutes but multiple times a day. I can't keep up with that shit. All he has is time. I'm a bigot 0.000001% with bills and a job I have to go to.
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I'm homebound af. If I don't get my daily dose of telomere science I don't know how will I orient myself in this dark & cruel world.

Any updates on his attempt at enrollment in higher learning?
 
I'm guessing he went to the appointment & was informed that school isn't free unless you've top % grades & cloaked his Twitter in shame. It's the lazy mans version of self immolation.
 
AmpleApricots said:
You people think this college-thing more through than he ever did.
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That's what's so funny, for a group of people from all different walks of life who in their free time, be it a day, off taking a shit at work, relaxing when the kids are asleep put more effort into something than someone who claims they are "totes" gonna get a PhD does. You ain't gonna end well.

LightEmittingDiode said:
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Assuming this is true, he stands a shot of getting in. Lucas being a sped will probably get some pell grant but if he applies for loans those will never come back to the tay payer I assure you. Granted they can't take tard bux, Lucas in debt would be a funny future tag.

If anyone else with the social graces of even a ill tempered scorpion said, Science a wife it would be a nice little joke a cute pun. Kinda a Rick and Morty or big Bang esque humor you know not really being science but claiming as such for humor. It's like "hey babe, girls like rich men I have a Bently, 7 a clock for dinner ? SCIENCE!"

But for Lucas it's very fucking literal and that is incredibly off putting and hilarious.

There is some science in what we are attracted to in mates, but we are not feral beasts who thrive off either pure lust urges or robots that choose only the best order for species. We like what we like but we also find people who we like because who they are, this post instead of being a quirky cute joke is just showing how creepy this dude is.
 
I was following him before he made his Twitter private but now he's blocked me despite the fact that I didn't interact with him whatsoever. Weird.

Edit:

Breaking: he's back on facebook.

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Lucas is rumored to have gone private because someone from sofalaw pretended to be a scientist that he often cites and disagreed with his pseudoscience. He ended up blocking him after he was triggered by the word defective.
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Gee, I wonder why that is Lucas.
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SOFLAW needs to learn what hands off means. Lucas is much more fun in his own devices. I like he shows off sushi but not one word how that college ordeal went.

Lucas is peak incel, I'll stop being a creep when you just give me sex! Because that's how that works.

It's always funny tho how he claims he cares about science and all but is so happy to cherry pick, someone points out something he doesn't like, even if it is a faggot ween, he says NOPE. Because science works like that. I really don't like the idea of me dying, so I'm immortal right?
 
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