It's great. What hurts him even moreso thank his shyness, anxiety, and awkwardness is he genuinely struggles understanding what people people are saying. It's why he almost always responds with a clueless "What?". Compound that with Lucas not understanding what he's saying and you're looking at every conversation initiating with both people being confused as fuck. I do appreciate how much he enjoys talking about food. It's the only subject matter he doesn't immediately default to the zoomer bae programming.
I'd kill for a Liquid Chris saga. Where someone emulates and intentional makes fun of Lucas while snagging the zoomer bae who chooses him over Solid Lucas.
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Oh boy. It's starting to get to him again.
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He's like a small child spouting whatever facts they found, but no one gives enough of a shit to care.
He sure is angry about people bringing up the starbucks incident. No lucas they did not lie in that article. Say what you will about journos, even they aren't stupid enough to blatantly lie about something so easily provable to frame some random hobo nobody gives a shit about for being a creep. Lucas is blatantly lying and deliberately leaving out the fact that it wasn't just the article saying she was 16. Aside from them including a direct quote admitting he knew she was 16, starbucks, the cops and the girl herself said it. Its why the cops were there in the first place and why they banned him outright
Aside from that, telling somebody not to bring up a major red flag incident involving a minor and following that up with 'they were lying! She was legal!' is literally textbook pedo behavior and exactly what a huge percentage of them claim when they get busted in sting operations, to the point its a meme. Publicly announcing that you're totally not a pedo! They're lying about her age to frame me! Starbucks is out to get me! makes him look not only delusional and crazy but like an obvious pedo blatantly acting like an obvious pedo. Note that lucas has a long history of claiming people told him they were of legal age when they weren't or that he could simply tell by looking at them exactly what age they are. He has done this many times, famously during the LA saga when confronted with the fact he'd been explicitly told mia was 16 several times before he left spokane to meet her
This looney attempt at damage control just makes himself look worse and more like a pedo
What I wouldn't give to see lucas get busted by chris hansen with that new tcap style thing he's doing with the cops. Can you imagine the look on lucas's face when the decoy goes off to get her charger and lucas sits there all giddy for a few seconds thinking his love quest is finally over.....and then chris hansen suddenly walks in. Lucas would absolutely blow a gasket and start wigging out. I'd pay for a whole year of that website he's got these days just to see that footage. Lucas despises chris hansen
That said, a liquid chris saga if done right would drive lucas absolutely batshit. He'd never figure it out, especially if it was somebody who looked alot like him, copied his bizarre mannerisms and telomere insanity and such and even better if he claimed to be actually poorer than lucas - now that would really fuck with his head. He could rationalize it by 'ree! credit card! you're a bigot!' if he came off as having more money but if he played it off as being an actual street hobo who collects cans or whatever lucas would never be able to wrap his brain around how the zoomer bae got stolen from him
Though a man in the pickle suit incident would be pretty hilarious as well. Except for making it a guy in a flatbill cap who just walks up to their table in the middle of some conversation lucas is having with her, pulls out a credit card, flashes it in front of her face and tells her to get in his sports car and lose the creep. and if lucas starts trying to say something or object? Have him just turn around and give lucas the 'if you try anything i'll beat the shit out of you' glare and ask 'are you going to try something faggot?! thats what I thought'
Bonus points if he's black, wearing a christian cross big enough for lucas to notice and wears the same 'science' shirt lucas likes to show off while doing it. More bonus points if before they leave together the guy stops, turns to lucas and tells him 'and get the waiter to wrap all that food up to go, we're taking it with us.' If lucas got pissy about that just have the guy angrily get in his face and tell him 'pack it up white boy or you'll be sucking my dick tonight instead of her. yeah, I saw you staring like you want it' just to make him wig right the fuck out internally. After all we know how lucas gets when people call him out for his interest in men
Lucas meekly having the food wrapped up for some other guy stealing his date would be a hilarious sight. He'd absolutely do it if he got spooked enough and would be seething with enough anger and hatred to fuel ten sith academies the whole time
Though having some guy lucas's age show up during the date angry as fuck and freaking out at both of them, telling lucas to get the fuck away from his daughter cause she's 15 would make for an entertaining reaction as well i'm sure. Doubly so if the 'dad' pointed out to lucas shes not only a minor but trans as well. Now that would freak lucas out
You just know the screeching he'd be doing about this would last for months and would be all kinds of unhinged
