Right off the bat, the fact that she’s spending her precious time in Hawaii typing out this melodramatic drivel. For basically nobody. But she’s a true narc boomer, as evidenced by immediately mentioning it was muh burthday! Not just any birthday, we’re turning the big 7-0 and the big 8-0! Bitch everybody reading this is probably your age, it’s not a milestone to your boomer friends. “Sugar Beach Resort” is cheaper than any place I’ve stayed on Maui, it’s a 3 star hotel in an undesirable part of the island. She hoped their health held on (lol your son’s on dialysis) and made “servations” for a luau. They were shocked the price went up since 2003. Stay tuned for the NIGHTMARE (I’m important and you should be captivated)…
Like what, she got in a huge car crash? What a cliffhanger you dumb cunt.
“Or so we thought…”
Why the fuck would you fly from TUS to PHX? That’s literally a half hour flight, and wasted time shuffling around Sky Harbor airport for no reason. Just fly TUS TO LAX, where there are tons more flights nonstop to Maui everyday at all times. Also, has this stupid cow ever flown? Because delays are pretty routine, and the airline usually takes care of everything if you don’t act like a demented entitled princess. So TUS to PHX to LAX to HNL to OGG. And you almost stopped in Vegas. Sounds like you really “splurged” on those tickets and didn’t get the cheapest first class seats money can buy. Also there is no first class between TUS to PHX or from HNL to OGG because they’re small regional planes.
But finally POOR Larry made phone calls to “let” all he needed to do. You know, call all your reservations at the boarding gate. Especially the luau!
Then she almost lashed out and throat punched the stranger next to her, as one does. Stay tuned, faithful audience, more tall tales coming soon. (She’s writing this ON her vacation lmao)
She wants to “kiss the ground” mainly so you feel sorry for her 70 year old joints. They expect the luggage checked days before will magically be on the carousel off their plane, not already at their destination. She apparently sprints (on her bad knees) toward some employees leaving the baggage claim office shrieking “Oh no, my pretty’s!” like a literal witch from a children’s cartoon. Of course the bags are in the baggage claim office, because that’s what it’s for. (Again how has she flown before, this shit is routine)
Next they flag down a random taxi, (thought Larry was renting a car?)
I’m sure she was bothering the taxi driver the whole way about her life shattering ordeal. He gets to their accommodations and they expect him to help. She offers a kidney, something that her own flesh and blood literally needs or he’ll die. Aloha spirit and all, driver says sure if you pay me. They’re clearly demented and it’s not his job, so he leaves after trying.
“To be continued..Larry wants to go for a walk on the beach. To be continued..”
Larry probably wanted to strangle her at this point.
They’re old and have health problems, and are too demented to find their room. She made Larry bother this poor driver after 3AM and he declined to help canvas the complex for their room. She starts crying in a dark parking lot of suburban Maui until Larry repeatedly calls the police, demanding that law enforcement arrive to be their free personal chauffeur. Then the officer has to be their travel agent. They’re incredulous that most hotels cost twice their motel-on-the-sea in peak season.
Owner promptly returns their emergency messages and they would rather sleep in, call back later. Turns out the unit was there all along and they were incapable of finding it.
