💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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Yea, airport, bus or train station.

I see the similarities, he’s way bigger imo.

-eta-
Given a few seconds thought, this is probably some generic dude at an anime convention
 
Stinkyboy said:
Yea, airport, bus or train station.

I see the similarities, he’s way bigger imo.

-eta-
Given a few seconds thought, this is probably some generic dude at an anime convention
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Agreed. Strangely enough, the thing that looks the most like him and makes me the most uncertain is the eyes, because they look like those familiar old Wern crazy eyes...

Edit: Two more for the "not him" column: that shirt fits better than any one Lucas has ever owned, and the hair looks considerably darker that Lucas's
 
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Those also look like leather fireboots at best, or tacti-kewl wannabe boots at worst. Either way not something Lucas would usually loaf around in.

Jeep1971 said:
Only Werner would drive INTO a fire. I can only imagine how pissed King Roy was.
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Truly a worthy inheritor of the Elk Kingdom!
 
Those ears are all wrong, plus there has never been a mask that couldn’t be defeated by his massive gourd head.

Edit: that said, I really hope it’s him. Traveling Wern would mean a new saga, which we honestly deserve after dull-as-dishwater nursing home Wern.
 
cheesycukes said:
Posted on FB shit posting page with no contextView attachment 3589697
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Well shit my theory was right after all

That must be a clone of lucas, grown from the grease stain he rubbed into the wall at his former fartbox. It finally grew into a new, healthier looking wern clone. Though even grease clone wern didn't want to be associated with the lazy hobo werner prime is and was driven to get a job, hence the briefcase. It retained the rat tail, psycho eyes and part of the obesity, but whether it retained his telomere and zoomer bae obsessions remains to be seen
 
WonderWino said:
Well shit my theory was right after all

That must be a clone of lucas, grown from the grease stain he rubbed into the wall at his former fartbox. It finally grew into a new, healthier looking wern clone. Though even grease clone wern didn't want to be associated with the lazy hobo werner prime is and was driven to get a job, hence the briefcase. It retained the rat tail, psycho eyes and part of the obesity, but whether it retained his telomere and zoomer bae obsessions remains to be seen
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It shows just how bad Lucas looks when this man pictured above can be described as "healthier and better looking".

Like it can be assumed that >99.999% of males are healthier and better looking than Lucas Colby Werner; but even this mimic specimen is basically considered an objectively better looking man than Lucas.
 
To be fair, I wouldn't be it past lucas to trade in his backpack for a briefcase and walk around the streets of spokane with it trying to look important and convince the zoomer baes that he's an older gen x alpha with an important job who should be taken seriously....only to have it filled with pep sticks, candy and attraction signs to post around town, and to panic and get angry the moment a zoomer asks him what he does for a living cause of the briefcase or asks why, if he has an actual job and isn't just nuts or trying to manipulate people, is he wandering the streets in the middle of a week day carrying a briefcase around instead of being at work

Can you imagine lucas waddling into a starbucks unwashed and with hobo rags on, carrying a briefcase full of attraction signs, candy and pep sticks and trying to look important by ordering some expensive hot chocolate

....Even better if somebody recognizes him, reminds him he's banned from starbucks and calls the cops, only to have the cops open his briefcase and start getting suspicious and question why he's walking around with creepy signs ranting about his sperm, little girls and candy. His explanation to the cops for that one would be hilarious and one of those things i'd hope got recorded by a bodycam
 
WonderWino said:
To be fair, I wouldn't be it past lucas to trade in his backpack for a briefcase and walk around the streets of spokane with it trying to look important and convince the zoomer baes that he's an older gen x alpha with an important job who should be taken seriously....only to have it filled with pep sticks, candy and attraction signs to post around town, and to panic and get angry the moment a zoomer asks him what he does for a living cause of the briefcase or asks why, if he has an actual job and isn't just nuts or trying to manipulate people, is he wandering the streets in the middle of a week day carrying a briefcase around instead of being at work

Can you imagine lucas waddling into a starbucks unwashed and with hobo rags on, carrying a briefcase full of attraction signs, candy and pep sticks and trying to look important by ordering some expensive hot chocolate

....Even better if somebody recognizes him, reminds him he's banned from starbucks and calls the cops, only to have the cops open his briefcase and start getting suspicious and question why he's walking around with creepy signs ranting about his sperm, little girls and candy. His explanation to the cops for that one would be hilarious and one of those things i'd hope got recorded by a bodycam
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He's going to now.
 
To me, the guy looks like Lucas, Chris, and Phil (potato, not DSP) all merged into one. The super-spud, if you will.
 
20220813_215448.jpg

Lucas casually reposts this like there isn't countless videos of him on the internet going immensely out of his way to appear as some big brain misunderstood philosopher of the ages. A selfless champion leading humanity away from the evils of christianity and into the promise land of age-gap breeding and hyper-long telomeres. That post is literally the polar opposite of his personality lmao.
 
Gas Station Boner Pills said:
View attachment 3597766
Lucas casually reposts this like there isn't countless videos of him on the internet going immensely out of his way to appear as some big brain misunderstood philosopher of the ages. A selfless champion leading humanity away from the evils of christianity and into the promise land of age-gap breeding and hyper-long telomeres. That post is literally the polar opposite of his personality lmao.
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The complete lack of even the slightest bit of self-awareness is one of the most entertaining things about Lucas. That narcissism really makes him the cow we all know and want to see lose a foot.
 
Gas Station Boner Pills said:
View attachment 3597766
Lucas casually reposts this like there isn't countless videos of him on the internet going immensely out of his way to appear as some big brain misunderstood philosopher of the ages. A selfless champion leading humanity away from the evils of christianity and into the promise land of age-gap breeding and hyper-long telomeres. That post is literally the polar opposite of his personality lmao.
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I guess Lucas is improving, because he's always seemed like a clueless, unimportant dumbass to me!
 
Gas Station Boner Pills said:
View attachment 3597766
Lucas casually reposts this like there isn't countless videos of him on the internet going immensely out of his way to appear as some big brain misunderstood philosopher of the ages. A selfless champion leading humanity away from the evils of christianity and into the promise land of age-gap breeding and hyper-long telomeres. That post is literally the polar opposite of his personality lmao.
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Not to mention that post doubles as him trying to convince people he's not an idiot and a pseudo intellectual nutjob who goes on looney rants about things he has no understanding of.....no he's just appearing to be clueless and stupid and doesn't want to seem knowledgeable to others

Its totally all intentional, just like he doesn't scream at cars, record himself going on psychotic rants and go on abusive tirades he's totally just a comedian

Typical lucas being a narcissistic manipulative pos as usual
 
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