💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
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WhiskerBiscuit
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2019
I
Also, as someone noted, Lucas thinks he’s being made fun of when he isn’t and thinks obvious snark is genuine. He just compared to a grandpa!
i will take bullshit, self-denial for 800, Alex!
Also, as someone noted, Lucas thinks he’s being made fun of when he isn’t and thinks obvious snark is genuine. He just compared to a grandpa!
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
Some comments on some recent posts. Lucas claims he "pounds water". Also, he eats mostly pasta and quesadillas. His daily hamburger spaghetti, of course. How can he afford this? The government pays for it, since he is special.
If this happened to a person who is a productive member of society who has health insurance they would be out thousands of dollars. But Lucas? Oh, he's plenty good. We will cover it. Lolcows don't have insurance so the taxpayer pays for it.
If this happened to a person who is a productive member of society who has health insurance they would be out thousands of dollars. But Lucas? Oh, he's plenty good. We will cover it. Lolcows don't have insurance so the taxpayer pays for it.
IF he "pounds water", the beetus must have really been working overtime on his kidneys making him urinate to end up dehydrated as he says. But wait, a week ago he was begging for money to buy himself soda too.
ETA:
The Creep said he eats a lot pasta and quesadillas at home, but left out all the gorging he does on restaurants meals.
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- Joined
- Mar 30, 2021
Pasta and all that should be eaten in small portions. I'm sure hes eating a plate or 2 full. Plus soda, if not diet or sugar free is horrible... Protein can help lower blood sugar, it's why I think he eats so much cheese on stuff.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Even if they were willing to give him one he'd end up on the street again sooner or later, stop taking his immunosuppressant drugs along with everything else and that would be the end of the kidney, and likely lucas along with it as he'd be too stupid to realize what was going on and die in the shelter or under a bridge somewhere
That said, when lucas gets to the point of needing a new kidney or slowly dying and finds out his relatives are a possible match I can just imagine his reaction to reaching out to demand a kidney and being told no - he would be utterly furious and screech about how myrna and king roy are greedy for hoarding their kidneys and not hooking him up with a kidney bae. Just imagine renal patient lucas screeching about hoarding kidneys at a confused dementia riddled myrna, it would be like an internet version of jerry springer
Which immediately made me think of a horrifying plan lucas might come up with at that point - getting some zoomer pregnant so he can harvest the kidney of his own offspring. Not that it would ever happen but its something lucas would absolutely do if he could
He's fortunate something like this didn't happen during one of his catfishing expeditions. Can you imagine what would happened if lucas's kidneys started failing when he was in LA, stuck there with no place to go and no money? He could have ended up trapped in LA doing dialysis at some local hospital. Imagine explaining that one to his handler - well I flew down to LA to meet a 16 year old girl, got confronted by her 'father' and then my kidneys failed and I ended up on dialysis at the local hospital. Now that would have been quite the TCAP episode. He may never have been able to get back to spokane if his health took a turn for the worse
Wait.....So his doctors must have done a blood test when he got admitted, noticed some enzyme issues indicating his kidneys were failing scheduled a biopsy but put pre-emptively arranged the dialysis before the biopsy results were available.....big yikes. Thats a 'confirm what we already suspect, your kidneys are in bad shape' move. That isn't a good sign for himmothman96 said:
and of course, he is clearly trying to play it down like its nothing serious, and assumes nobody else realizes its serious either, which will inevitably lead him to convincing himself it isn't serious and he can ignore it, just like he did with the beetus, his obesity and his foot
Lucas is a dead man walking one way or another. He isn't capable of dealing with this properly. At least a foot can heal or be amputated, and you can lose weight and manage the beetus, but once his kidneys are fucked its only a matter of time before he's done for
So, I wonder if he'll have a creep on the nurses while getting dialysis incident, get in shit for it and end up with a security guard watching his every move while he's in the hospital saga. He wouldn't like that at all. Him fucking up his treatment and screaming that the guard is cockblocking him from the nurses to the point he has to be removed from the hospital for disturbing other dialysis patients would be quite the end for him
As far as dialysis goes I wonder how long lucas will actually stick with it. It is not a pleasant procedure, is long, painful and leaves people feeling unwell and exhausted. He won't like that at all, I can see him fucking off and assuming his kidneys will heal themselves after a treatment or two. If he should drop dead in his new fartbox from the inevitable renal failure induced heart attack I wonder how long it will be before anyone notices. Its not like anyone is going to notice an unusual smell coming from his room as i'm sure it always reeks. Lucas being found after a month in the summer heat, blackened, bloated and covered with maggots and buzzing flies seems like the kind of ending that shouldn't be too surprising for him
He won't be able to keep doing that if he wants to keep living. Renal diets are very low protein. There won't be any more buying 10 bricks of cheese and eating a massive plate of clinkerdaggers prime rib unless he's willing to die for it. Between the beetus and the kidney problems he is going to hate his diet, which is why I doubt he'll stick to it for very longVi0l3t said:
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2015
All I can picture is Britney spears in a wheelchair saying "I'm still sexy y'all" on family guy. He won't last long, like the lizard brain he is, all he can focus on is what's going on in this specific moment. He can't even see a minute down the road. Dialysis will not present him a gen z bae at that specific moment, so it's a waste of time. Get the a-log reacts ready. Sometimes I wish we lived in his perfect Communist utopia, because he would have been executed decades ago. All the time and money spent on him, would be better spent on a person who will actually use it to get better.
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2015
This is diabetic ketoacidosis 101. Eats like a pig, pounds sugary drinks, doesn’t take insulin, complains lately of headaches now nausea and renal failure. Dehydration my ass; being thirsty is another symptom.
RIP you fat loser.
RIP you fat loser.
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2014
At least a "silver lining" is that he doesn't have to endure living like he does forever.
That would kind of be hell...
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
He's at a really bad age to be already showing renal failure. He's not going to live long.
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2020
I've been watching this cow's antics since summer 2020, and he's gone so steeply downhill since then.
I only weep for the loss of milk from this previously high-producing cow, like a farmer with a starved herd. Considering his profound health issues, lack of self-control, and staunch denial of the situation he's in, I think it's very possible our Prized Cow could pass away in the next couple of months.
He will never give up Clinkernigger steaks. He will never stop ordering gas station slurpees via Doordash. This is the essence of our cow, and his mindless gluttony will rob that entertainment from us because he is a terminal case of (self-induced) medical neglect in denial.
We will never see another impassioned rant on the streets of Downtown Spokane, no more wild exclamations of BIGOTRY and CLASSISM by GEN ZEEEE. The Wern we've all come to know, hate, and laugh at is almost certainly dead.
I only weep for the loss of milk from this previously high-producing cow, like a farmer with a starved herd. Considering his profound health issues, lack of self-control, and staunch denial of the situation he's in, I think it's very possible our Prized Cow could pass away in the next couple of months.
He will never give up Clinkernigger steaks. He will never stop ordering gas station slurpees via Doordash. This is the essence of our cow, and his mindless gluttony will rob that entertainment from us because he is a terminal case of (self-induced) medical neglect in denial.
We will never see another impassioned rant on the streets of Downtown Spokane, no more wild exclamations of BIGOTRY and CLASSISM by GEN ZEEEE. The Wern we've all come to know, hate, and laugh at is almost certainly dead.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Indeed, which goes to show how unhealthy his lifestyle is. All he had to do to stay relatively healthy was to not act like a sped, not gorge himself and not neglect his health. None of which he is capable of. Yet the whole time he was fucking himself over he was bragging about how he's totally ready to be a father. Yeah a guy who can't take care of his own kidneys is surely ready to take care of a baby. Like I said, lucas being lucas i'll be surprised if he makes it to christmas
That said, I wonder if doordashing him a raw beef kidney will become the new sending him a catfish. Cause i'm picturing a total from hell moment with somebody including a note claiming to have taken it from some hooker or zoomer bae or something because the wern must live to serve the communist revolution. Lets hope lucas doesn't get so desperate that he starts adding 'must have a healthy set of organs, especially kidneys' on his dating app profiles
Grease trap said:
I'm not so sure about that. Sure we're likely not going to get his previous constant ranting and outdoor shenanigans but when he gets to the point that reality can't be ignored anymore that he's not going to recover at that point he's going to get scared and angry. I can see him doing a major meltdown video or two at that point as an angry fuck you to the world and everyone who he blames for his situation. He's the type to do something like that.
That said, theres also the fact that at that point he has nothing left to lose and will know it. He may very well get desperate, figure he has nothing left to lose and he's dead anyway and say fuck it. He very well might do something to act on his desire for a teen girl and prefer to go out by spazzing at the cops who inevitably show up afterwards, and suicide by cop, rather than accept a slow and unpleasant death alone at a hospital. He's narcissistic and entitled enough to do it and the only thing that has prevented him from doing it thus far is fear of ending up in jail for it, which wouldn't really matter once he'd reached that point. I wouldn't rule it out
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- Aug 4, 2019
Lolcows seem to dodge death more often than the average person. I think he'll be around for at least a few more years, with the help of the good tax payers of Washington.
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2020
In most other cases of lolcows dodging death, I would agree. But our AttractiveOlderPedophile has been condemned to dialysis, and we all know he has the self control of a starved amoeba. Even assuming he's an edge case of only needing dialysis temporarily (as he claims), his body is clearly fucked. His rapacious desires have always trumped rationality, and given his denial about the gravity of his situation, there's no doubt he's going to further neglect his health to the point where he's 6 feet under in a barren grave paid for by the American taxpayer before Christmas 2022.
WhiskerBiscuit
kiwifarms.net
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- Sep 14, 2019
Average age for starting initial dialysis: 65.
Average life expectancy after starting dialysis: 60% died in 5 years. 25% die before 10 years. 15% make it a full decade or more.
What increases mortality? Overall poor health, obesity, and usually age. But if overweight, being under 70 doesn’t extend life.
He’s dead.
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2015
But will he still find his Zoomer bae?
Hey baby I am on dialysis rn cos the bigot doctors say my kidneys are dying. Wanna fuck?
cheesycukes
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2020
Almost sounds like he has been released from the hospital.
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- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Unfortunately given the choice between no more clankerdogger meals & cheese binge sessions and death...
Well this was a fun thread while it lasted, you guys.
This is of course, assuming Lucas didn't get hospitalized for something minor and is lying/playing it up for pity points.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
He's lying. They wouldn't be putting him on dialysis if he didn't. He's also contradicting himself - by his own admission theres a kidney biopsy involved and he's already had at least one bloodwork lab done, which is what told the doctors he needed to do dialysis in the first place
He's also shit at lying and slipped up there - notice how 'trish' asks him if he has acute kidney failure and its 'not that I know of yet' in other words he's claiming nobody has told him he has serious kidney problems at this point.....and then slips up and says 'if its acute they're going to bring me back' which is an admission that there is some kind of kidney failure. He's going into full lying to do damage control mode. and no fucking way he's been released from the hospital before the biopsy and first treatment has been done. The hospital would be putting him at serious risk doing that as not getting on a proper kidney safe diet would fuck things up even more and put him back in the hospital with worse injuries. Hospitals don't just release people in such situations without completing testing, let alone do so with patients of questionable mental competency
If anything lucas is lying to cover up the kidney problems because of how serious it is and how admitting to it contradicts the i'm totally healthy and ready for kids claims. The kidney problems are real - he's too stupid to come up with something like kidney failure, let alone to include a biopsy and dialysis as part of it. Plus he wouldn't intentionally lie in a way to make himself look bad/unhealthy, and it fits his recent symptoms and general shit healthFanatical Pragmatist said:
tldr this is lucas being lucas. He finally realized admitting to serious kidney problems does not reflect well on him so as usual he lies, tries to cover it up and go into damage control mode, and of course is contradicting himself in weird ways because he's incapable of even lying coherently
Well now, what do we have here
So, his MRSA might be contributing to this, at least in part
EDIT:
Now i'm convinced that when he was given a blood test it showed serious enough issues with his kidneys that they figured he needed to be on dialysis asap and the would do a biopsy and get the results afterwards to determine just how damaged they were and what to do from there. Otherwise they'd have gone the route of blood test -> results showed enzyme issues we better to a biopsy -> biopsy -> saw serious damage on biopsy we better put him on dialysis -> dialysis treatment. That they skipped straight to dialysis and are following up with a biopsy speaks volumes as to how bad that blood test came back and how damaged his kidneys must be
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