💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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wenttobermuda said:
Come, enjoy a game about excreting turds from your butthole. Stimulate your mind by figuring out how many turds to handle, and where to drop your turds. Out of your butthole, onto the plenty good hand drawn map. Turds.

Why turds, and squonks? The squonk is a thinly veiled, self-insert mary sue. In folklore, the squonk is known for being hideous, and weeping constantly. It is a grotesque creature driven to sorrow by self-knowledge. Lucas must identify with the foul, sad squonk. But rather than make a game about the squonk's fabled tears, he focusses on turds. This is not funny, just an amusing window into his psyche.
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he probably picked up Squonk from this Steely Dan song, considering he uses the term "Dude" so much.

 
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dirtydeanna96 said:
he probably picked up Squonk from this Steely Dan song, considering he uses the term "Dude" so much.
www.youtube.com

Any Major Dude Will Tell You

Provided to YouTube by Universal Music GroupAny Major Dude Will Tell You · Steely DanPretzel Logic℗ 1974 Geffen RecordsReleased on: 1974-01-01Producer: Gary ...
www.youtube.com www.youtube.com
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In this case probably more likely he got his inspiration from honey dipper dan:
 
In a thread where we’ve all seen Lucas’s MRSA dick several times, and a board game called “turd or squonk” is currently being discussed, how is “tall athletic guys have good dick” TMI?
 
I don't know why this is the thing that is bothering me but, in his scrawl about his turd based board game, the term 'real mythological creature' is such an annoying contradiction.
 
wenttobermuda said:
In folklore, the squonk is known for being hideous, and weeping constantly. It is a grotesque creature driven to sorrow by self-knowledge. Lucas must identify with the foul, sad squonk. But rather than make a game about the squonk's fabled tears, he focusses on turds. This is not funny, just an amusing window into his psyche.
Click to expand...

Maybe he's more self aware than we give him credit for. 😂
 
wenttobermuda said:
Come, enjoy a game about excreting turds from your butthole. Stimulate your mind by figuring out how many turds to handle, and where to drop your turds. Out of your butthole, onto the plenty good hand drawn map. Turds.

Why turds, and squonks? The squonk is a thinly veiled, self-insert mary sue. In folklore, the squonk is known for being hideous, and weeping constantly. It is a grotesque creature driven to sorrow by self-knowledge. Lucas must identify with the foul, sad squonk. But rather than make a game about the squonk's fabled tears, he focusses on turds. This is not funny, just an amusing window into his psyche.
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Lucas will never die, he'll just slowly become more repulsive and incontinent until he becomes a mythical Squonk of Spokane.
His beetus body will become more abnormally shaped as his head becomes rounder, his gut extends in every direction yet his arms grow skinner. He may be forced to crawl around on stump legs as he looses his feet. MRSA sores and unchecked beetus bruises will eventually cover his body. The grotesque creature will crawl the streets of Spokane, leaving a trail of turds and insane ramblings about magic sperm in its wake.
However, unlike a traditional Squonk which knows its horribly ugly, this foul creature is actually convinced that it is Plenty Good!

Big Redman Incorporated said:
I don't know why this is the thing that is bothering me but, in his scrawl about his turd based board game, the term 'real mythological creature' is such an annoying contradiction.
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I think he means "real mythological creature" as in pre-existing folklore. I might be giving The Wern too much credit but when I have heard other people say that in reference to either like bigfoot/lochness/jackelope cryptids or like dragons/werewolves/yokai pure mythological - as opposed to some make-believe creature they themselves invented.

Svetlana Helsinki said:
In a thread where we’ve all seen Lucas’s MRSA dick several times, and a board game called “turd or squonk” is currently being discussed, how is “tall athletic guys have good dick” TMI?
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Short-Man Syndrome.
 
wenttobermuda said:
If Lucas had any class at all, he would've said grace and eaten the catfish.

If the Mallon arc involves Lucas ballooning up in weight, then it has promise after all. Lucas was once a self-described "6xl." He has the potential to be big, deathfat faggot. Fatter is funnier. Also, as his waistline expands, his hygiene will become more interesting to observe.
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450 lbs plus incoming! Also why the fuck would they think it's ok to force old people to live with this creep?
 
Screen Shot 2021-10-28 at 10.55.43 AM.png


So this is what a Squonk looks like. Checks out

Give me some girls!!! *Sob* What would AOC do *sob* I’m plenty good, best guy in town, cmon Gen Z
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Edit: also it seems he pulled down his Squonkie Turd game off Instagram.
 
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I got blocked from his Instagram for pointing out that he’s making fun of poor people while being homeless and broke.
 

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Daddy Telomeres is on a slam poetry roll

AOC will get you laid just close your eyes and say her name three times and you will be covered in more pussy than the day you were born.
 
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