💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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"Oh gen z you'll fuck anything, even me, you sssssluts" - Lucas "My-Dick-Has-Been-Dry-(and-Missing)-for-a-Decade" Werner.


The "even me" is a self-burn I don't think he thought through.
 
Maxxicus Callahan said:
lol made me think of this, “they can’t see what you mean to me my little queen bee.” I’m going to steal you from your hive, steal you away from every man alive lol. Kinda creepy lyrics but fits with the Wern’s obsession. “I’m going to follow everywhere you go because girl there is something I want you to know.” https://youtube.com/watch?v=eeFvAa-lpVk
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As long as we’re going with old creeper songs, this is my fav

www.youtube.com

The Toadies - Possum Kingdom (Official Music Video)

REMASTERED IN HD!Music video by The Toadies performing Possum Kingdom. (C) 1994 Interscope Records#TheToadies #PossumKingdom #Remastered
www.youtube.com www.youtube.com


edit bc idk how to embed still. 😰
 
Just a little something to annoy Lucas, since we know he both follows this thread and searches his own name on Youtube RELIGIOUSLY:

 
GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
youtu.be

If Money Don't Get The Honies

youtu.be youtu.be

The end of this is classic. Lucas threatens to punch the screen, to knock someone out in the chat, thinks better of it, and spits on his own phone.

Outburst starts at 1:50:35

IMHO it's the funniest Lucas content in the past 6 months.

Edit:. Lucas's posture in these recent podcasts from the Mallon House is hysterical. The way he cranes his head forward, as if he has to rest his eyeballs on the screen to be able to read it, and sits there with his mouth open, makes him look even more exceptional than he actually is. And that's saying quite a bit...
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I agree with you lmao that was fucking GOLD. Also, who are these asshats being moderators for him?!
 
Listening to the "This Charming Man" by the Smiths for the first time in ages, I almost choked on the line "when in this charming car..."

Made me think of the hilarious Lucas musical content - "Teenage Bondage" or even better ""Welcome to the jungle"

We need more Pukas music - after all the depressed emo muso is a classic route to limitless poon isn't it? It would be hilarious to see Grungey emo\wigga rapper Lucas, so many tracks he could cover and massacre::-

"How soon is now?"
"Thank heaven for little girls"
"Young Girl"
"Does your mother know"
 
The Freak might as well say "Don't fuck functional productive men that can provide for themselves. Fuck me, a middle aged insane bum with rotting feet that can't even take care of myself and needs everything done for me".

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mothman96 said:
The Freak might as well say "Don't fuck functional productive men that can provide for themselves. Instead fuck me, a middle aged insane bum that can't even take care of himself and needs everything done for him".

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You get one of those Honda Accords, them baes will be pilling in them like clowns at a circus. God, Lucas is so exceptional.
 
He’s a bad communist raging against the proletariat who have to drive to work. Prove you hate hate fossil fuel consumption by fucking some scabby hobo who doesn’t drive, hop on my bum foot that doesn’t feel anything and I’ll take you places. Also Gen Z women don’t drive cars themselves apparently they need a man to do it for them like in Saudi Arabia.

It’s really funny how someone pointed out that if the average man and woman’s standard of living did increase or if some kind of SocDem policies got implemented he would actually be fuming even more seeing young people who worked hard for their education or at their place of employment actually getting a break in life while he languishes at the bottom of the rung with nothing to really say except your richer than me booo. Don’t go with him he takes care of himself I don’t.
 

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mothman96 said:
The Freak might as well say "Don't fuck functional productive men that can provide for themselves. Fuck me, a middle aged insane bum with rotting feet that can't even take care of myself and needs everything done for me".

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I realize that expecting any amount of thought from Lucas is a stretch....but if you're going to make a stupid meme about being against pollution/greed etc there are a LOT of cars he should have picked before a fucking Honda Accord. Seriously, was it too hard to find a picture of a big gaudy SUV or a crazy sports car that costs 200k but gets like 11mpg? A Honda Accord? The rock solid dependable car that gets pretty good gas mileage? Good Lord...
 
GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, you're the master obviously, but if you inserted that chin jutting, spitting, and autistic pseudo-punching into the beginning or end of one of your videos, I'm sure we'd all be very happy.

Just a thought.
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Could be interesting to put at the end of the credits.
 
SteveGoatman said:
I realize that expecting any amount of thought from Lucas is a stretch....but if you're going to make a stupid meme about being against pollution/greed etc there are a LOT of cars he should have picked before a fucking Honda Accord. Seriously, was it too hard to find a picture of a big gaudy SUV or a crazy sports car that costs 200k but gets like 11mpg? A Honda Accord? The rock solid dependable car that gets pretty good gas mileage? Good Lord...
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Lucas truly has no concept of the most basic things you learn by beating a functional adult. I’m sure he has no ideas about pollution or fuel efficiency beyond CAR BAD. He probably just picked a basic-ass car he sees all the time assuming that more teen girls would see his picture and think “OMG my boyfriends drive that car, Lucas is so right, I should date him instead.” Looking for any realism in his posts is a mistake because Lucas’s brain is completely disconnected from reality.
 
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