💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

Ruh roh. We might have a bright future in Werntopia.
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Didn't he get removed from the previous one because he couldn't get along with his roommate?

Thats wernspeak for 'I pissed my roommate off to the point they had to put me in another room' its not the first time its happened. Either that or all the shit he's been eating lately fucked him up and he had to be moved to an actual hospital room while getting treatment. The 'while here' and tv stuff makes me think that could be the case. Regardless of which it is neither a hospital nor the nursing home is going to let people just randomly bring in women a resident doesn't even know to have a date and watch tv. That kind of thing is a big no no for alot of reasons

Though lucas getting kicked out because he invited some sketchy hoodrat to watch tv who then proceeded to steal a bunch of shit from peoples rooms would be on par for lucas's level of stupidity

How is he going to lure in a zoomer bae when he already spent his $50 for the month?

By posting pics of what he is thinking about ordering next month no doubt. I'd add 'and by trying to appeal to it being valentines day in february and trying to lure her with an expensive valentines day meal' but there is no way lucas's greedy food obsessed brain could hold on to his tugboat for half a month to wait for that when he could stuff his face with food right now right now right now right now

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

It's not even that his brain is food obsessed (it is food obsessed, TBF).
It's that he has zero fucking fucking long-term thinking and zero concept of delayed gratification.

It's why he needs a payee and spends his tarbucks so fucking fast, because they idea of delayed gratification is so alien to Plenty Good Werner Brain.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

How is he going to lure in a zoomer bae when he already spent his $50 for the month?

Even back when Lucas had some spending money, his big talk about paying a zoomer bae for fancy date to Churchill's only lasted about the first few days of the month. As has been said, Lucas needs a payee because he burns through his money on dumb shit.

 

[HackerX]

Don’t forget his magic fingers, puritans.

Can't help but bring out ye ol' tried and true reason for why a zoomer bae should find him desirable. He picks up sticks!

The 'while here' and tv stuff makes me think that could be the case.

Ooo. You're right. That phrasing does imply his situation is temporary. V curious.

It's that he has zero fucking fucking long-term thinking and zero concept of delayed gratification.

The retard can't wrap his defective brain around concepts or the abstract. He takes "living in the moment" to a whole different level.

Even back when Lucas had some spending money, his big talk about paying a zoomer bae for fancy date to Churchill's only lasted about the first few days of the month. As has been said, Lucas needs a payee because he burns through his money on dumb shit.

Lucas is so extremely, extremely fortunate for how well he's been financially tardwrangled. I'm not sure how he even managed that, TBH.

Quiet day in the Wernerverse

Lucas, always the one to call people dumb, simultaneously misses that horses are smart and he's unironically dumber than horses.


Maybe he got isolated in a room because of the non-stop schizobabble? When are we gonna get back into this tying into telomeres or zoomer baes?

EDIT


Shit, I guess Maduro was unlucky then

You hear that zoomer baes? Lucas is a big boy. Sure, he still lives with a bunch of people at the ripe old age of 47, but he's got his own room now!

Even better zoom zooms! His is the biggest so he has to make sure to brag about it.

Also, that wife better watch the fuck out.

LOL

 

[WonderWino]

Yeah with that updated info something definitely happened that resulted in him getting removed and placed in a different building. Either there was an incident and they needed to keep him away from everybody else but couldn't boot him cause of his health and it not being serious enough for that or his health took a sudden turn for the worse and there is more constant supervision and care involved here. Hence the wife being upstairs 'keeping an eye on everybody' all the time. Why else would the staff be living downstairs in a building with only 6 residents? Speaking of which, lucas wouldn't mention her at all if he didn't have an interest in her, so yeah, he'd better be careful or he will get his ass tossed out like with the hairdresser incident

On that note:

Saw it in another thread and immediately thought of lucas

EDIT:

Lucas proving he's an idiot yet again:

Lucas thinks that you literally will a win or loss when gambling into existence because you believe it. No lucas, that isn't how it works. Aside from the fact gambling addicts always think they're going to win, its one of the main reasons they have such a problem with gambling - the math is always in the houses favor over time. If you keep playing long enough you will always lose, unless you are cheating or the table is rigged to give a specific result

This is common knowledge and this looney math shit he's on about is a prime example of why he failed remedial math multiple times

 

[HackerX]

This is common knowledge and this looney math shit he's on about is a prime example of why he failed remedial math multiple times

Even worse. I don't think he knows there's a mathematical aspect in gambling whatsoever.




Can't help but think about pizza, can ya Lukey? I'm super excited for the endgame that is the quantum luck alternate universe arc. Either this'll tie back into zoomer baes at some point or he'll actually start larping like this is the reality where he gets a zoomer bae and does something really really funny.

For one, what reason is there for you to concern yourself with Erika Kirk, Lucas? For two, you can't even handle laughing emojis.

Ho-ho! Maybe we'll get some jew sperging fairly soon. Although the point he's trying to make doesn't sense because 'pumping' Capitalism don't make no sense in this context.

 

[WonderWino]

The media controls all the information says the guy who threatens to block anybody who mentions his history, who retcons everything he has ever done and who lies through his teeth on a daily basis

If there is anybody who wants to control information its lucas himself

 

[Stinkyboy]

Nice of Luca to use a meme of his fellow pedophile Drake.

 

[Free the Pedos]

I feel like the staff member’s wife is only up there because Lucas is there. At least the staff know how dangerous he potentially is.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I feel like the staff member’s wife is only up there because Lucas is there. At least the staff know how dangerous he potentially is.

Shouldn't her husband be there instead? Why would any man leave a woman alone around Pukas?

 

[HackerX]

Shouldn't her husband be there instead? Why would any man leave a woman alone around Pukas?

TBF, as long as she's not both paralyzed from the neck down and a 60 IQ mouth drooler, she's fine. That's the only type of vulnerable person where Lucas is a threat. She probably just keeps a few slices of cheese to throw around whenever Luca gets too close.

Nothing new from Lucas, but this made me lol. It's from the Erika Kirk post.

 

[Free the Pedos]

Shouldn't her husband be there instead? Why would any man leave a woman alone around Pukas?

I don’t think he’s so dangerous he would rape a woman in broad daylight in a common room. I think her being there is more so they have an extra set of eyes in case he tries to lure a 19 year old anemic street kid into his room with promises of cup or noodles.
Let’s be honest: the most likely scenario is that she has to call someone to bring the fire extinguisher over because he’s making Cheetos bourguignon in the toaster oven.

 

[WonderWino]

If you ever wondered how the dr phil interview after the starbucks incident would have gone if it had been an actual invite from dr phil:

 

[Stinkyboy]

I don’t think he’s so dangerous he would rape a woman in broad daylight in a common room. I think her being there is more so they have an extra set of eyes in case he tries to lure a 19 year old anemic street kid into his room with promises of cup or noodles.
Let’s be honest: the most likely scenario is that she has to call someone to bring the fire extinguisher over because he’s making Cheetos bourguignon in the toaster oven.

If he thought he could get away with it, and his penis worked, he would definitely rape someone in a public space.

 

[mothman96]

Also, that wife better watch the fuck out.

so Mallon place moved the creeper to one of their smaller supervised group homes. He'll be posting pissed off when he finds out he is not allowed to take a woman up to his room

 

[HackerX]

If he thought he could get away with it, and his penis worked, he would definitely rape someone in a public space.

Yes, but thankfully is a terrified, overweight, schizofrenic 46 year old retard. Most importantly, he's socially maladapted and shy to a fault. The dude is is in brutal agony whenever a person, especially women, are aware of his presence and his brain just goes limp as he stands there paralyzed in fear. I doubt even his grotesquely deviant urges are enough to conquer that enough for him to rape anyone.

Again, many stars would have to align.

- The woman would have to be utterly alone and confined to a room so Lucas wouldn't fear getting caught.

- The woman would have to be severely, physically handicapped so she couldn't escape. Lucas is incredibly weak and out of shape, so I'm confident most women could successful overpower him during a struggle. (As long as they avoid getting into a situation where Lucas's fat ass is on top of them and leveraging his only hope. His weight.)

- She'd have to be severely limited mentally. To the point where she's not even allowed to make her own decisions because no one, outside of literal retards like that Anacondasin sped, would ever want to willingly touch Lucas.

- And ofc it'd help greatly if she's unconscious so he's not overwhelmed by his own shyness.

Those are the big ones. Ofc I have no doubt Lucas would rape or sexually assault a woman, but the opportunity has to meet such specific combinations of criteria that it's almost as likely as him ever getting a zoomer bae.

so Mallon place moved the creeper to one of their smaller supervised group homes. He'll be posting pissed off when he finds out he is not allowed to take a woman up to his room

Oh God, you can hear it now. One would think he should concern himself with subsequent steps first, like finding a woman to invite to the 'Lucas Werner Fisting & Stick Picking Up Extravaganza' in the first place, but then that wouldn't be Lucas. He only knows how to complain about everyone else stopping him from acquiring some zoomer bae puss puss.

So far, our boy has been relatively quiet today. As he has been ever since the alleged move. I'm curious if there's certain aspects about the move that's leading to it. Maybe the wife is limiting his phone time or they upped his meds?

It is always with great sadness that I'm forced to acknowledge not only that Lucas is among my countrymen, but he's allowed to vote.

Lucas isn't aware of the quality of Venezuela's oil or infrastructure...Is he? (Of course not, LOL.)

 

[WonderWino]

Oil only makes rich people richer he says. Oh boy is that a fucking laugh. Oil workers make very, very good money and so do people in any part of that industry. Even people with little education. Just ask anybody who worked up at fort mac in alberta before the fire fucked everything about that. Its a shitty place to live to be sure but the amount of money you make working in any kind of oil camp job is fucking obscene. For example it wasn't unusual at all for people who would have otherwise been on welfare in NS to sign on to a camp job up there doing the simplest jobs that weren't even directly oil related, getting flown there for free with monthly trips home and coming back with a shitload of money by their first or second visit home and buying a brand new $80,000 truck, a boat and a down payment on a house and keep doing that shit for as long as they were working up there. Camp life is shit, theres usually not much to do or anywhere to go so you basically work, sleep and alot of people drink but they got paid absurd amounts of money for it. and getting into an actual oil job? Even shit like security, driving a truck or doing safety related work after a few weeks of training would land you pay that lucas would shit bricks if he saw

Do rich people that own those companies make a ton of money? Absolutely. But so does everybody else up there. Theres a reason alberta is as well off as it is and why they had so many programs to fly people in to work from the east coast. It solved their problems for getting people willing to work in those places, which again aren't exactly nice places to live and work and it gave alot of people the ability to get good jobs with little or no education that paid them a shitload of money to support their families. Thats not even getting into the benefits packages they were providing. You worked your ass off but you absolutely got compensated for it and alot of people benefited from it. Especially poor ones. Not that lucas himself would have ever taken any of those jobs or been able to keep one if he had but there were plenty of government programs both major oil companies up there collaborated on with the alberta and federal government that helped people like lucas that were willing and actually able to hold down a job to get a well paid simple job in places like company canteens, janitorial work and simple security stuff and they were able to do very well for themselves, both earning a considerable amount of money - much more than the government programs could pay them and let them have the dignity of earning it for themselves and be able to build a life, paying taxes and such like everybody else while also getting them off of government benefits that could then be used to provide for more people that actually needed it

Lucas on the other hand, if he'd been legally allowed to work in canada and seen what kind of money people like him could make up there would have been giddy as fuck with visions of daily prime rib dinners and pockets filled with cash to woo the zoomer baes, flown up there, worked for a couple weeks before fucking it up and getting fired or quitting and froze to death in -50 in the woods in the middle of nowhere. Probably due to creeping on some just out of highschool girl who went up there to make money for school - which incidentally was another big bonus. a year up there could pay for your entire education and give you work experience. Quite a few people I know did that after high school then went off to university and graduated without any debt and did very well for themselves because of it

That fire fucked things up for alot of people and the country in general. One of the reasons i'm so in favor of a pipeline to the US is it'll bring that shit back and revitalize the industry up there. It would be good for everybody and the US would have an easy source of all the oil it needs without having to fuck around for it overseas

 

[HackerX]

That fire fucked things up for alot of people and the country in general.

The concept of anyone other than Lucas eludes Lucas, much like the vaunted zoomer bae. Well, other than the alternate universe quantum luck probably Lucas.

Methinks that's not the reason the baby zooms zooms aren't fucking, nor marrying you, Lucas. Just a guess.

I see Lucas is taking the deranged, lunatic Facebook approach to the recent happenings. Because ofc.

Look. I have no issue with people loving Trump or shitting on Trump. However, I along with the vast majority of people who aren't 70 IQ and raging at shit outside of their control, see this and immediately put the person who posted it in a lower category of human. Not even over the deranged sex trafficking that has no basis in any conceivable reality, but over how massive a leap they're taking between points to show everyone how much frothing at the mouth without actually making their fucking point. They don't understand the "So what" aspect is vital to what they want to convey because they're not concerned with that. They just want people to start going berserk along with them, which never works outside of like-minded retards who are already berserk. Then somehow, like it's magic, you look at these people and they always end up being literal retards. What's great is this is definitely something he learned from Myrna.

 

[Stinkyboy]

More like believing the barista was 23.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

More like believing the barista was 23.

This is what makes Lucas's screeching about politicians he doesn't like being secretly guilty of having sex with teenagers so ironic - LUCAS BUILT HIS ENTIRE IDENTITY AROUND WANTING TO FUCK TEENAGERS

If he thought he could get away with it, and his penis worked, he would definitely rape someone in a public space.

Lucas still has hands, and a fisting fetish to go with it.

That being said he's weak, cowardly and even a strong confident woman (the name of that black lady on the outcast owl podcast escapes me) could scare Lucas into cowering.