🎭 Dramacow Liz Henry - Fat af slacktivist, bad parent, CecilyK orbiter with terrible eyebrows.

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I've never felt so uncomfortable from a close up of some one's face before.

T.T
 
Liz has a moment of sentience, lol just kidding:

We Are Your Parents And We Will F*ck You Up

lol I didn't want kids. You were more than likely an anchor oopsie baby to get him to stick around.
Before I had you, I was ambivalent about children. Yes, I know this isn’t the best place to start, but hear me out because it goes from meh to mush in 30 seconds.

Uses the article as an excuse to passive aggressively complain about her husband, Mr. Slasher:
Like that time when dad told you Jesus was more like a zombie than the son of God. I know you hated him a little that day. It’s okay. Sometimes he pisses me off, too. Actually, a lot of the time. Like on Valentine’s Day, when he handed me an iTunes gift card as my gift. Or, when he leaves one glass — yes, one glass — in the sink after I just got done washing dishes (by hand) for the fifth time in an hour.

I've taken the liberty of striking out the lies.
We will:
+ hurt you
+ make you cry
+ disappoint you
+ not give you everything you want
+ probably not pay for college
+ continue to push vegetables
+ yell
+ shut off the TV
+ demand you toughen up
+ need you to change our Depends
+ fail spectacularly at being mature

Much like Cecily, having a child didn't mean having to grow up for these two. She'll be subjected to a life of financial turbulence as she, Liz and Mr. Slasher all live in the basement of Liz's dads house indefinitely. She is going to need therapy, Liz, for you having groomed her into some kind of troon.
Your father and I are not venture capitalists, we’re dreamers. Because we dream big, we have a small bank account. Money and love are completely different, and we hope to have raised you well enough to know said difference. Only fools combine the two.
We believe that stating the obvious upfront — a contract of our failings — will soften the blow when you become an adult and seek therapy.

Cheerlead you right over a fucking cliff.
However, I want to be absolutely clear: We are your fiercest supporters, loudest cheerleaders, and number one fans. We are your parents, your advocates, and ambassadors. You can tell us anything, and we will love you unconditionally. We will never shame you or make you question your worth. We will help guide you through cruel unfairness and unburdened privilege. You are our daughter, a symbol of our love and passion, commitment and intention.

Akin to Cecily, Liz also has no respect for her daughters privacy between making up a fake news story about her getting fat shamed at school, to posting videos of her on her public figure page hoping she'll go viral.
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I think the most telling, angering, and funny one is we are dreamers, so we are poor. No you are poor because you are lazy trash.

Every parent worth 1/10th their salt is a big dreamer. They see their child pick up a baseball at 8 months, they dream he's Babe Ruth. Throws his little spaceman toy, an astronaut. As a parent you know just because a kid colors in the lines a bit young doesn't mean they will become DaVinci but they dream.

Even with the harsh reality parents have to accept no matter how hard they work support and love a kid those chances are slim, they still dream and take joy and pride in their children. Also, they you know, do things Liz seems quite incapable of, some I've listed already like support and love. But other things like, medical care keeping a stable roof over their head and the such.

At least while she's doing it in a pity me sorta way, she admits her kid will end up screwed up.
 
Does anyone else think that Liz and Cecily's son-daughters will end up like Hayley Mandel?

It's going to be a lot more dire.
Hayley's parents are loaded and have given their daughter an education.
And they seem the type to have no issue with funding their child's lifestyle no matter what.
She will always have that safety net.

Liz and Cecily's kids are screwed unless they totally eschew their upbringings.
Tori is especially screwed because her parents are going out of their was to deny her an education. Her school doesn't even help her get her GED.

I suppose they could become just like their parents...insufferable twats sitting on social media on the tax payers dime.
 
It's going to be a lot more dire.
Hayley's parents are loaded and have given their daughter an education.
And they seem the type to have no issue with funding their child's lifestyle no matter what.
She will always have that safety net.

Liz and Cecily's kids are screwed unless they totally eschew their upbringings.
Tori is especially screwed because her parents are going out of their was to deny her an education. Her school doesn't even help her get her GED.

I suppose they could become just like their parents...insufferable twats sitting on social media on the tax payers dime.

Thats true, although one could argue that Hayley's parents are doing her a greater disservice by enabling her with unlimited amounts of cash. I feel like Tori and Scarlet's intransigent parents will be an object lesson that their children might take to heart.
 
How on earth can you say you are your daughters fiercest supporter, biggest cheerleader and whateverthefuck, and then immediately say you won't pay for college?

I don't care how poor you are, you put 5.00 a week aside for your kids education. You skip a pizza, you don't have Netflix. Fuck. In this day and age, saying you won't pay for college is practically dooming your kid to a McDonalds job.

Ok, I get being poor, I do. Been there, done that. But telling your kid that early on is lessening the importance of an education. Even if you can't pay for it, you try. And you let the kid know it's an important thing to work toward.

Who are these idiots? Do they think SJW is a job title now, with a salary and benefits? How did we get to the point where getting an education is being taking so much for granted that people can't even see it's necessary? They clearly do not understand the future that is coming, and "dreamers" are going to have little place in it. Sure, dreamer, write for Huffpo, see how much that nets you.

/rant
 
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