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Have any of you guys ever visited a gay bathhouse/sauna? I've been trying to work up the courage to visit my local one, but having never been to one before I'm not completely sure what to expect, and it's very daunting.
 
Hellbound Hellhound said:
Have any of you guys ever visited a gay bathhouse/sauna? I've been trying to work up the courage to visit my local one, but having never been to one before I'm not completely sure what to expect, and it's very daunting.
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I've never been, but I at one point did work close enough to a "massage parlour with a sauna" in a district known for gaybars to see who and what was going in.

It's mostly really promiscuous older guys. And I would strongly recommend against it, considering these were one of the main causes/contagion centres of the AIDS epidemic back in the '80s. The only reasonably attractive/normal looking people I saw going in were guys in their late teens, and I assume because while they might be looking for a quickie they're too shy to use Grindr. There's a reason why most stories about "pozzing" and "gift giving" take place in bathouses.

My own disdain towards sex outside of comitted relationships is probably tainting my view on this that said, merely my $0.02.
 
@Hellbound Hellhound - I went to one (FIY I'm not a dude and went on their "bi night" with my husband) It's pretty much what you probably expect. Lots of people openly fucking, some in groups, while others watch while jacking off. Some couples hold hands and go off into little side rooms for a private quickie. Some people lie down nude to relax on beach chairs or in the saunas. Don't expect any relaxation in the damp sauna though. If you are going to fuck random people, it should go unsaid, but USE A CONDOM.

@Fagatron - In some areas the bathhouses and even regular gay clubs have rapid HIV testing tables run by local HIV/AIDS groups. Like pick someone up and get tested before banging? Lol... good to be safe/r though!
 
hambeerlyingnreed said:
@Fagatron - In some areas the bathhouses and even regular gay clubs have rapid HIV testing tables run by local HIV/AIDS groups. Like pick someone up and get tested before banging? Lol... good to be safe/r though!
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It's not purely the STD element for me, though that is sensible. I just think the very idea of a "one night stand" or sex with a stranger is something that should be discouraged and ideally socially stigmatized for all sexes and orientations.

Perhaps it's more vulnerable to it because the LGB community is a gathering nearly wholly built on what gender you want to fuck, but the LGB community is the worst advocate of the LGB community on the whole. Sex is enjoyable, but I challenge anyone to say the hedonistic outlook of "the scene" isn't toxic and destructive.

A society is based on stability, and the (male) gay community is one of the least stable communities around, maybe only rivalled by Furries who are...Unsuprisingly, mostly male bi/gay nymphomaniacs.

I'm saying male not in the SJW sense, but because Lesbians for the most part don't seem to share the same slutty bent and unlike gay men are more likely to sustain stable relationships.
 
Fagatron said:
It's not purely the STD element for me, though that is sensible. I just think the very idea of a "one night stand" or sex with a stranger is something that should be discouraged and ideally socially stigmatized for all sexes and orientations.

Perhaps it's more vulnerable to it because the LGB community is a gathering nearly wholly built on what gender you want to fuck, but the LGB community is the worst advocate of the LGB community on the whole. Sex is enjoyable, but I challenge anyone to say the hedonistic outlook of "the scene" isn't toxic and destructive.

A society is based on stability, and the (male) gay community is one of the least stable communities around, maybe only rivalled by Furries who are...Unsuprisingly, mostly male bi/gay nymphomaniacs.

I'm saying male not in the SJW sense, but because Lesbians for the most part don't seem to share the same slutty bent and unlike gay men are more likely to sustain stable relationships.
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Unfortunately the stereotypical lesbian relationship has its own slew of problems.
 
Uncanny Valley said:
Unfortunately the stereotypical lesbian relationship has its own slew of problems.
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I'm sure they do, all relationships have their challenges, and I have to profess mostly ignorance of that side. I think I can speak with a reasonably informed opinion on male homosexuality, but for the ladies, I'm looking mostly at studies and data dating sites put out from time to time.
The internet is rife with stories of self-destructive gay men, eating disorders, bug chasing, the rate of gay divorce among male couples and the like...But or the most part, unless it's a matter of lack of study which might be possible, Bisexual women and Lesbians show up as among the least affected by those issues.
What would you say are some of the big challenges facing Lesbian relationships? I'm genuinely curious if anyone would share their thoughts.
 
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hambeerlyingnreed said:
If you are going to fuck random people, it should go unsaid, but USE A CONDOM.
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It says on the official website that the facility offers free condoms as part of the service, so that gives me some relief. I would never have unprotected sex with a complete stranger, and I'm not even sure if I will end up having sex at all. I really just want to go for a fun, exploratory experience, and if I end up having sex, I view that as a bonus.

Fagatron said:
Sex is enjoyable, but I challenge anyone to say the hedonistic outlook of "the scene" isn't toxic and destructive.
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I don't think having a one-off sexual encounter is particularly hedonistic in and of itself. For lots of people, it can be a valuable way of exploring one's own sexuality, before subsequently settling into a more monogamous arrangement. I don't consider myself a hedonistic person. In fact, I'm usually something of a prude.
 
Hellbound Hellhound said:
Have any of you guys ever visited a gay bathhouse/sauna? I've been trying to work up the courage to visit my local one, but having never been to one before I'm not completely sure what to expect, and it's very daunting.
Click to expand...
I did once. Didn’t realize it until an hour after the large man with the moustache came in and got all touchy with me. Just thought they really cared about their customer service.
 
Hellbound Hellhound said:
I don't think having a one-off sexual encounter is particularly hedonistic in and of itself. For lots of people, it can be a valuable way of exploring one's own sexuality, before subsequently settling into a more monogamous arrangement. I don't consider myself a hedonistic person. In fact, I'm usually something of a prude.
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I'm going to ramble a bit, because these are just my thoughts and they're by no means facts that apply in all scenarios.

Sex in the instant does feel good, really good. But it isn't a case of wham, bam thank you, ma'am, like swingers and r/polyamory likes to suggest for "no strings attached fun. When you boink someone, you've established a certain kind of relationship. It might not lead anywhere, but sex is one of if not the most intimate things (mentally, emotionally and physically) a human can do. I'd say possibly the only things that come before it is giving birth, torture and murder. All things once you do them, there's no coming back from and they will leave a lasting impression on your relationship with several people, not just the person you fuck.

It might not be fair, but the more casual flings a person has, the harder it is to establish more serious relationships and longer lasting bonds. Sex isn't just about the reproduction of course, it's a form of bonding too. Now if you form those bonds with only a small group of people, they're special, unique and meaningful....form it with half the town? What's special about that?

That's not the social stigma side. While it does exist, it doesn't affect gay men as much as it does women. How is it going to feel to a partner who might not be as experienced as you think you might be comparing them to however many previous people you'd laid before? Is that fair? Not at all. Are people going to do it? Absolutely.

I'm not suggesting waiting until marriage by any means, while I admire the sentiment that comes with its own glaring problems like compatibility and chemistry going untested. But I would suggest at least finding someone who cares a little bit about you, rather than seeing you as a quick-fix for gratification.

It feels great at the time, but it really doesn't feel that good afterwards I'll be honest, I felt very insecure when I got together with my first serious relationship because I didn't have any experience, but after seeing how much some of his sexual escapades haunted him years later and how difficult he actually found (by his own admission) re-adjusting from previously having engaged in some fairly hardcore kinks? Not in the slightest now.

As for the people who suggest exploring your sexuality... You can tell if you like men or women or not without actually jumping into the sack with one. You don't need to suck a dick to know if men give you a boner or not. But even then, explore with someone who also wants to explore carefully, not just a guy who wants to use you to cum and go.

Or indeed, doing the very same to someone else.
 
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Good evening everyone: I happen to be of this "LGBT" persuasion, specifically the last letter of the acronym. You must love yourself, for you struggle and suffer but you are still here fighting the good fight!
 
For lesbians:
When did you get your first beanie?
Can I see your collection?
 
Fagatron said:
I'm going to ramble a bit, because these are just my thoughts and they're by no means facts that apply in all scenarios.

Sex in the instant does feel good, really good. But it isn't a case of wham, bam thank you, ma'am, like swingers and r/polyamory likes to suggest for "no strings attached fun. When you boink someone, you've established a certain kind of relationship. It might not lead anywhere, but sex is one of if not the most intimate things (mentally, emotionally and physically) a human can do. I'd say possibly the only things that come before it is giving birth, torture and murder. All things once you do them, there's no coming back from and they will leave a lasting impression on your relationship with several people, not just the person you fuck.

It might not be fair, but the more casual flings a person has, the harder it is to establish more serious relationships and longer lasting bonds. Sex isn't just about the reproduction of course, it's a form of bonding too. Now if you form those bonds with only a small group of people, they're special, unique and meaningful....form it with half the town? What's special about that?

That's not the social stigma side. While it does exist, it doesn't affect gay men as much as it does women. How is it going to feel to a partner who might not be as experienced as you think you might be comparing them to however many previous people you'd laid before? Is that fair? Not at all. Are people going to do it? Absolutely.

I'm not suggesting waiting until marriage by any means, while I admire the sentiment that comes with its own glaring problems like compatibility and chemistry going untested. But I would suggest at least finding someone who cares a little bit about you, rather than seeing you as a quick-fix for gratification.

It feels great at the time, but it really doesn't feel that good afterwards I'll be honest, I felt very insecure when I got together with my first serious relationship because I didn't have any experience, but after seeing how much some of his sexual escapades haunted him years later and how difficult he actually found (by his own admission) re-adjusting from previously having engaged in some fairly hardcore kinks? Not in the slightest now.

As for the people who suggest exploring your sexuality... You can tell if you like men or women or not without actually jumping into the sack with one. You don't need to suck a dick to know if men give you a boner or not. But even then, explore with someone who also wants to explore carefully, not just a guy who wants to use you to cum and go.

Or indeed, doing the very same to someone else.
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I think there are definitely emotional risks that come with casual sex, and I agree that having lots of it is probably not good for a person's well-being in the long term; especially with regard to self-esteem issues, loneliness, and the ability to form intimate relationships.

I'm still not convinced that this general truth can be applied to very limited instances though. There are lots of people who sexually experiment with strangers before settling into a long-term relationship, and this doesn't appear to cause most people any problems. The problems seem to arise when people make a lifestyle out of promiscuity, which is not something I am looking to do.
 
When was the moment you you were gay, lesbian, wanted to cut off your dick, etc.?


With me, I had sporadic gay thoughts through out my life, repressed it cause I grew up Christian. Still thought women were hot throughout my life. Didn't really notice it until my Senior year of High School.
 
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FatFuckFrank said:
When was the moment you you were gay, lesbian, wanted to cut off your dick, etc.?
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The former: middle school, started getting crushed on both
The latter: when puberty happened and everything was gross, which was shortly after the first thing happened
 
FatFuckFrank said:
With me, I had sporadic gay thoughts through out my life, repressed it cause I grew up Christian. Still thought women were hot throughout my life. Didn't really notice it until my Senior year of High School.
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I'm certain that a lot of people who are in that spectrum has happened the same as you. So noticing later is good since you're accepting yourself at the end, which is what mostly matters for your own well-being.
 
Quetzalcoatl said:
I'm certain that a lot of people who are in that spectrum has happened the same as you. So noticing later is good since you're accepting yourself at the end, which is what mostly matters for your own well-being.
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Should have kept repressing it.
 
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