I'm a fairly prototypical autogynephiliac with gender dysphoria and I'll probably never pass for a woman. I've spent the past few days binging on troon threads here and I desperately want to do things "right" but I have no idea how that's even possible for someone in my situation. I'm in my late twenties and have a first therapist appointment next week.
Typical AGP characteristics: No signs prior to puberty; I have sexual fantasies but they're never about other people, just about my own role (sc. with a female body) in a sexual scenario with otherwise anonymous participants (never masturbated to the idea of someone I know or some such); confused sexuality (been told I mistake my romantic for sexual attraction and simply don't understand the latter; frequently second-guessing whether I feel attracted to women only because I'm envious/to men only because they make me feel feminine; never had sex so far); often slight arousal when trying on a new piece of female clothing for the first time.
Idiosyncratic bits: no history of cross-dressing in private (all female clothes I own are just the female stylistic equivalent of the male clothes I would otherwise wear, I simply started mixing them into my everyday wardrobe); no dressing for masturbation; not particularly worried about being attractive or sexy (I mainly want the physical reality of my body to correspond better to the mental map I have of it and spend less energy on dealing with stupid stuff like fighting body hair, being disgusted by the smell of my sweat, having to deal with my genitals, avoiding mirrors...).
I don't really see a path forward that does not involve transitioning in the near future (medical risks and all) but how should a AGP troon-to-be go about that?
Nobody wants to hear about your gross fetish man.
