🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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PetiteFeet said:
Now I need some of that Cobra magic in europe. I want to try a double down and I want to try Wendy's. They closed KFC here (:_(
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Allow me to attempt to describe the Wendy's experience for you. Now, it's been several years since I've eaten there, so some of this may be a bit dated, but it is my mental image of the restaurant.

On the surface, they appear to be squeaky clean. They have a cute little red-haired girl as their mascot and used to feature a kind old man (the chain's founder) in their advertising (until he sadly passed away)..
But don't let the simple facade fool you. These maniacs push the envelope. A few examples of what I'm talking about:
They've always had a dessert treat on their menu called the Frosty -- it's not quite frozen but not liquid either, distinct in texture and flavor from ice cream or a milkshake -- it's like nothing else on a fast food menu.
On the burger side, they've had a triple cheeseburger right on the regular menu -- you don't have to customize anything to get three quarters of a pound (0.34 kg) of beef on your sandwich; they just offer it to you like it's normal.

When you go to Wendy's you've got to get the Baconator. They now have a "Son of Baconator" sandwich on the menu, which is much more reasonable, but we don't want that -- you gotta go all in.
What makes up a Baconator? Well, between the two buns are two 1/4-pound beef patties, six strips of bacon, melted American cheese, ketchup, and mayonnaise. No tomatoes; no onions; not even a leaf of lettuce -- there is no room for vegetables here.
The sandwich is very nearly the same height as its width -- it almost approximates a sphere. You know how it's a bit of a meme that Josh used to hold a burger like an apple? Well, you pretty much need to do that in order to handle this beast,.
The burger patties at Wendy's are square. That obviously doesn't affect the taste, but it it's worth noting. The corners extend beyond the edges of the buns and make the whole thing even more feral.
The copious amounts of bacon mean that you get a LOT of it in each bite. It's not chewy but not crispy either -- about the same texture as the burger patty. It all just blends together in a meaty mélange.
I'm not convinced that the cheese is an actual dairy product -- I think it's a petroleum byproduct, and while it is quite tasty, its function in the Baconator is to be an adhesive, holding all of the other ingredients together so that the whole thing doesn't just detonate in your hands (Pro tip: Never fully unwrap the sandwich from its foil -- use the wrapper to hold it together while eating it.)

The first bite is a little scary and maybe a little disappointing. You probably won't get any ketchup in that bite and probably the least amount of bacon, but don't let that deter you.
The next bite is divine. By this point, you're getting a taste of all the ingredients. The bun is just a formality -- something to hold together all the meat. The burger is juicy enough, but the mayo makes it even more moist.
Each subsequent bite is better than the one before it... until...
You get about halfway through.
By this point, you've already eaten the equivalent of a very large bacon cheeseburger, but you're only halfway through this monstrosity. You see what's ahead of you and wonder what you've gotten yourself into.
The grease is really becoming an issue at this point. From the burger patties and from the bacon strips -- the bottom bun is now soaked with it.

When you finish the burger, you might be a little sweaty -- or maybe that's just more grease.
The food sits in your stomach feeling like a boulder.
What now?
You feel sleepy, but you don't want to nap -- you don't want to do anything.
After about an hour, you might get a bit of an upset stomach -- too much meat; too much grease; too much food in general.
You vow to yourself never to eat that thing again.

But then some time passes. You drive past a Wendy's. You forget about the aftermath and just remember that amazing second bite. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to try it again...
 
This clip literally made me cry laughing when I first saw it. The king had such a way with words.
 
anyone else started riding bike because of the boy?
I have, and, weather permitting, it's a good time. I just need to make a juan to change traffic lights.
 
anliteralidiot said:
anyone else started riding bike because of the boy?
I have, and, weather permitting, it's a good time. I just need to make a juan to change traffic lights.
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Remember to ride as if you are invisible. because anything smaller than a car effectively is. I’m not brave enough to ride bike along with the cars but I do ride motorbike with them. Stay safe out there.
 
Beavis’ Moms Boyfriend#6 said:
Remember to ride as if you are invisible. because anything smaller than a car effectively is. I’m not brave enough to ride bike along with the cars but I do ride motorbike with them. Stay safe out there.
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I'm trying to dress as if I'm invisible too, because it's what I want to wear, and fuck everyone else. I also started using this mindset thanks to the boy.

but I also am afraid of cars, so I stay off the main road
 
I started watching homeboy in the Puff era, i mean i don't believe the demogorgon slut NAL that he stomped puff to death.

He took puff outside and he ran off.

His death affected me alot, ive gained 14 kilos in 3 months. Even though his death was inevitable it still hit me like a truck.

Fly high cobes, you goofie ass mfucker.


2:15 on the vid, that he filmed a deer that close, it's awesome

 
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HansKlokBier said:
He took puff outside and he ran off.
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I don't understand why this was ever in doubt, frankly. He first saw the thing when his neighbor (Ian?) was walking around with him on his shoulder. Josh clearly understood that to mean that the animal "liked it" and it was something he could do with him too. Maybe he dropped him, maybe it jumped off of him, but that was obviously what happened.
 
Nana Feeder 9k said:
I don't understand why this was ever in doubt, frankly. He first saw the thing when his neighbor (Ian?) was walking around with him on his shoulder. Josh clearly understood that to mean that the animal "liked it" and it was something he could do with him too. Maybe he dropped him, maybe it jumped off of him, but that was obviously what happened.
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Bad faith actors. There are people who follow lolcows with malicious intentions. Whether they are druggies who are jealous of someone like Cobes being able to laze around all day and drink himself to death, or they are Cyraxx a-logs who are enacting their own brand of justice on a pedophilic weirdo schizo.
The vast majority of Cobra fans would understand that he was a man with multiple disabilities but with a genuine soft spot for animals, who accidentally lost his lizard while outdoors.
 
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