🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Do not be like this person, do not reach out to cows, this person is a faggot
Hahahaha I had to pozload my neghole just once
 

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Jimmy snipes said:
Hahahaha I had to pozload my neghole just once
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You’re gay and homosexual. Don’t touch it.

Btw I saw this today and it reminded me of the time the boy was doing raps in the bathroom of a Buffalo Wild Wings and he was accosted by some delightful neighbours who called him racist.

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Big Nasty said:
Jessica's nudes are absolutely Lovecraftian. Reminds me of Tsathoggua.
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De Vermis Mysteriis probably has a section about Jessica. She's an irl "shambler from the stars" that Josh unwittingly brought into this world. She won't stop until the boy is just an empty husk.
 
deadbabypics said:
tried getting into this guy a really long time ago, but he just seems like a more boring OUMB. am i missing out?
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You are but at the same time, getting into Cobra now is NOT fun. Not at this moment. We're staring into the maw of the beast, we just don't know when we'll see the end. Before the second eviction and NAL, he was already on a downwards trajectory. The only thing that has changed is the speed with which he's hitting rock bottom.

Classic Cobra is one of my favourite lolcows and if I could meet that starry-eyed kid, I would buy him a beer. The Trapped documentary is an honest look into what the boy used to be.
If you want to get into Cobes, I echo the other farmers who praise Seizure Robot 5000's content. His call-in streams can be kind of cringe but Seizure himself is effortlessly funny, his original Cobra content like the animations he uses in Snakebones are inspired and Snakebones as a podcast is perfect for having in the background while doing housework.

Modern Cobra is a tour de force of a slow burn and the amount of poo-touchers makes his live content really unfun to watch unless edited down. Boglim Chronicles is a bit of an alog but his edited videos are a good substitute for what Bitesize Cobra Vids (colloquially known simply as Bitesize) used to put out. Bitesize has become a bit of an alog himself because of how much of a shitheel modern Cobra is but his longform documentaries are all worth a watch if you find yourself smitten with the boglim.

Personal favourites that got me into Cobra:
 
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sick gothic grizzly adams/homeless vietnam vet/ carp hybrid generically bred to perfection to hunt down sicko rapists and to protect ozzy and his grandkids (that he will NEVER touch even if they were interested in him)
 
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Catboy Ranch Dressing said:
Probably because it was entirely off-camera. When he gets back on camera he's moaning about his stomach burning. Then he keeps going back off-camera to puke into the trashcan.
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Don't forget the banger line "Fuck I need flour and water" and the fact that he smokes a cigarette immediately after throwing up because it was so spicy.
 
somevan712 said:
What's crazy is how obsessed JESSICA BOYLE was with Cobra's attention. Talking about how she's not good enough for Cobra, she's ugly, no one loves her, yet she's fucking other men? "No man has ever treated me as nicely as you," yet she cheats on him multiple times?
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I'd be willing to be two month's pay that her "obsession" isn't much more than a performance.

IMO she wanted to attach herself to a cow and did it the only way she knows how - by fucking a vulnerable one. She's a whore and a really dumb one, but she's been successful at manipulating people around her with a similarly low IQ.

Analyzing these cows is a fun thought experiment, but I really think people give them too much credit.
 
Paul Revere Pantry Raider said:
Although always delusional and weird - It's hard to remember that he was once coherent and possibly capable of an actual conversation.
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I miss him conjuring thunder storms and turning the traffic lights green. Riding bike, weather permitting. I almost want to say I miss the Scrapper Steve arc buuuuut I'd rather have a second duster arc than Scrapper Steve making a return.
 
With the current state of Cobes' hair loss, what would be a good hairstyle for him? His "lollipop dropped on the floor of a barbershop" look is downright horrifying, but how could he make the most of what hair he has left? Cut it short and sport the George Costanza? Shave it all and look like Papa Clint?

I just can't picture him without the luscious gothic locks, so I'm having trouble envisioning any alternatives.
 
Acoustic Virgin said:
With the current state of Cobes' hair loss, what would be a good hairstyle for him? His "lollipop dropped on the floor of a barbershop" look is downright horrifying, but how could he make the most of what hair he has left? Cut it short and sport the George Costanza? Shave it all and look like Papa Clint?

I just can't picture him without the luscious gothic locks, so I'm having trouble envisioning any alternatives.
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He just needs to give it a little combover toobz, it's fine.
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Serious answer, shave it and grow a handlebar moustache. He'd look cool. Well okay maybe not cool, but... better.
 
Acoustic Virgin said:
With the current state of Cobes' hair loss, what would be a good hairstyle for him? His "lollipop dropped on the floor of a barbershop" look is downright horrifying, but how could he make the most of what hair he has left? Cut it short and sport the George Costanza? Shave it all and look like Papa Clint?

I just can't picture him without the luscious gothic locks, so I'm having trouble envisioning any alternatives.
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He doesn't have the patience for this, but he should braid out the side hair and the beard and go full viking.

For something more normal, imagine Cobes with a cleanly shaven scalp and a goatee.
 
Acoustic Virgin said:
With the current state of Cobes' hair loss, what would be a good hairstyle for him? His "lollipop dropped on the floor of a barbershop" look is downright horrifying, but how could he make the most of what hair he has left? Cut it short and sport the George Costanza? Shave it all and look like Papa Clint?

I just can't picture him without the luscious gothic locks, so I'm having trouble envisioning any alternatives.
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Goth as fuck.

Edit: I think I thumbnailed it, correctly, but I am also retarded, so I may have fucked up.
 
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Potion_Time said:
People will laugh at Cobes for paying 25 dollars for gas station food, but back when I smoked I used to see people ahead of me in line buy shit like this all the time and then swipe their food stamp card for slurpee to go with it.
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That's a step up from gas station food though. It's from his local supermarket's deli, which can be hit or miss depending on the location. I used to FW Albertson's all the time back when I lived close to that store.
 
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