🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Here's fun idea:
Food eating contest but it's Josh's signature food hacks with his finest hooch to wash it down. Winners are offered a free ambulance ride and a stomach lavage.
Featured guest:
LA Beast
Shoenice
???
 
Slim Boglim said:
His songs about his mom are incredible
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God. Damn. Youtube. That's got some bite to it.

One minute in and its pure unhinged, retard rage; such a contrast to "Daddy Dearest" and its whiny, emo faggotry of a man telling his dad "Daddy, I'm not your lil boy anymore".

Edit: Isolated Vocal
"Where were you when I skinned my knees, where were you when Igave up on some shit, where were you.... you are like a stranger to me, I don't even know you anymore. And it may say your name on my birth certificate you were my mom you gave birth pushed me out of your cunt but I fucking hate you walking out on me I hate this bullshit stuff your pulling."
 
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Transcript of "My Mom Lora". (Post with AI isolation of vocals is pending review)

"I've grown so sick of you. Where have you been when I skinned my knees? Where were you when I gave up on some shit where were you?
But you weren't exactly a breeze you flew out of the house with eyes.
Last time I saw you, we went and ate at a restaurant.
You were like a stranger to me, I don't even know you anymore. And may you say your name on my birth certificate. You were my mom, you gave birth, pushed me out of your cunt but I fucking hate you walking out on me. I hate this bullshit stuff you pulling.
You're not my mom to me anymore. I fucking hate you. Had to kick you because your psychotic. You're just a big fucking mistake. Go fucking kill yourself. I fucking hate you, mom.
My mom Lora.

Fucking go kill yourself and when you get to hell, Satan rapes you and every hole makes you bleed from your eyes. It was no surprise to find out how much I fucking hate you.
Walking out on me when I was three, it's so easy to see. You psychotic cunt, I fucking hate you. Go burn in hell and die.
You'd be rotting in your cells and a guy comes and rapes you in straight jacket. You're causing my mind so much fucking racket, I fucking hate you.
My mom Lora.

True at times, I wasn't in the mood to see you, you didn't know. Well, it hurt too much, brought too many memories.
Like the time I was at Christmas at my Aunt Shannon's. I was only three or four, I just opened up a basketball for a Christmas present. I was having so much fun with my dad and my Aunt Shannon and my family.
You called the cops on my dad's head, did some crazy stupid shit. We had to cut our trip short and we came back to Miles City.
Bringing my dad the shit in too. Shit was cut short, I'm wondering what the hell's going on. The cops in the station saying, okay, Mr. Saunders, what'd you do this time?
Well, look at now, look at you now. Growing up and blown up, busting out on you on a fucking rhyme.
I fucking hate you! Die! Die! Die! Die!

Sitting in the restaurant, we barely even talked.
You were like a stranger to me. I don't even know you anymore. You don't want to fucking contact me anymore.Fuck you, I'm done with you. You're sickening, your mind is suffocating, rotting under insanity. You should deserve it! Deserve it! Deserve it.

Look at me now, a famous musician. Don't you come around trying to look for me. That's bullshit, if you wanted to really know me better, you would have came around when I wasn't famous and making shitloads of money. Die!

I wish murder was legal for one day. I'd find you and fucking kill you. Dismember your bowels. Strangle you with your own goddamn intestines. Shove this shit down your throat. Cut your fucking head off. Haha. Take a chainsaw and dismember you to pieces like you left my soul. Jesus, I fucking hate you!

And then would be at your funeral, no one knew it was me. I defecated in your coffin and pissed in your mouth. I fucking hate you, you worthless cunt. You're not my mom anymore. You worthless piece of shit! I fucking hate you! You hear this song, you think, God, this kid's got issues. Yeah, he fucking hardly got issues.

Like I remember when I was a little bitty boy choking. You told me against the wall and smacked me, saying it was my fault I was choking.
Well, fuck you! I've grown up and I've blown up.

Yeah, your brother Uncle Ron, he seems like a reasonable guy. He's cool, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I fucking hate you more. Stay out of my life or I'll fucking stick you with a knife. Ha ha. Oh!

It wasn't just a spanking. That's four or five or six. And throw me against the wall!
Fuck the court system! When I was little, I hated going to see you and Margot. I was crying, saying, No, I beg my dad not to take me!
Because of the court law, you had custody! And now, you divorced him, you left Christina with him. What the fuck is wrong with you? You made some other douchebag and their family I don't know where the fuck you're at now. I don't fucking care anymore. Die! Die! Die!

Have your bodies in pieces. I cut you with a chainsaw. Sawed off side by side. Short barrel shotgun. Hey, check it now. It's legal registration. Little 12 gauge side by side. Buckshot shell. Short barrel. 10 inch barrel and a pistol grip. Pins and welds.
I jammed the barrels down your throat and blew your head off. Dude. Kidnap car.

Fuckin' hate you. Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane. It's like, I got some control over my bullshit issues. Not sometimes, but sometimes. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Fucking hate you fucking hate you!

Go to hell and get raped by Satan! In every hole! You're screaming in pain and misery, but he don't care he's laughing just like the rest of me. Ha ha. Fuck you. As you're bleeding from your eyes. Crying tears of surprise. Oh, it's no surprise, Laura. You're not my mom and you don't wanna fuckin' hate you!

Look at me. I'm just like Eminem. I'm white. I'm a smart ass and I got issues with my mom. Ha ha.
What the fuck! What the fuck!

Die Lora Die! Your not my mom anymore..."

Definitely not a sicko toobz.

Admin feel free to combine this with my last post!
 
Bixby Snyder said:
basically anything where he tries to go ‘deep’. He’s too dumb to make it less than very obvious what the gripe is with each song.
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A trait he shares with daddy dearest.
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myhairisonfire said:
There's less salt in a Sea Monkeys kit than there was in his fist full of Spam.
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I autism sniped myself.

You can calculate the salt content from the nutritional label sodium using the following formula: sodium (mg) × 2.54 ÷ 1,000 = sodium chloride equivalent (g). A can of Spam contains 4740mg of sodium, therefore 12g of salt.

Brine shrimp require high salinity to survive. This is generally cited as between 10-20g of salt per liter. Lets say 15g/L for arguments sake. A standard Sea Monkeys aquarium apparently holds 10 fluid ounces of water. Ten ounces is 0.28L, so we can estimate a standard Sea Monkey kit would contain 4.2g of salt. About 3/4tsp. That seems about right for one of those little packets in the kit.

There is three times as much salt in a can of spam than in a Sea Monkey tank.


anliteralidiot said:
sea monkeys are just a different species of brine shrimp lol
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Your reading comprehension is off the charts, bro. Glad you were able to figure that one out!
 
"Bell Tower Bashing" was a window into his mind during the Conquistador era, before Jessica came along and ruined that. Layered vocals out the ass with church bells and singing about his intrusive thoughts (fuck sickos). And the 2 drum beats sound like they're competing against each other.
Gotta give him credit though, killing pedos with church bells is pretty original.
 
myhairisonfire said:
Your reading comprehension is off the charts, bro. Glad you were able to figure that one out!
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you're the one who said:
myhairisonfire said:
There's less salt in a Sea Monkeys kit than there was in his fist full of Spam. It'd be healthier for him to drink something called brine shrimp than continue on his current diet.
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Sorry I have autism, and I can't read sarcasm through text without the little "/sneed" lol
 
Samson Hydemanfinkelstein said:
God. Damn. Youtube. That's got some bite to it.

One minute in and its pure unhinged, retard rage; such a contrast to "Daddy Dearest" and its whiny, emo faggotry of a man telling his dad "Daddy, I'm not your lil boy anymore".

Edit: Isolated Vocal
"Where were you when I skinned my knees, where were you when Igave up on some shit, where were you.... you are like a stranger to me, I don't even know you anymore. And it may say your name on my birth certificate you were my mom you gave birth pushed me out of your cunt but I fucking hate you walking out on me I hate this bullshit stuff your pulling."
KingCobraJFS-My Mom Lora-Isolated Vocals.mp3
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Imagine being in the next room over when Josh was recording this insanity.
 
Agares said:
Imagine being in the next room over when Josh was recording this insanity.
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During the Conquistadors Era, a small part of me always wanted one of his neighbors to turn out to be a YouTuber/streamer but have no clue about Cobes. Like they would just be sitting there saying something about whatever and you just hear a faint "GAWWWWDDDAMMMMITTTT" through the walls and the person looks up confused and wide-eyed.
 
Some YouTuber doing a series on their haunted apartment complex. Just pausing to hear an inhumane yell at 11AM or sudden thuds during the night. Speculate the ghost died in a fire from the lingering smell of burnt bacon grease and cheap tobacco.

Not to mention his ghost wife who yells at all random hours when not using their poltergeist powers to break windows and laundry machines.

Sounds pretty gawth to me.
 
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Bixby Snyder said:
Some YouTuber doing a series on their haunted apartment complex. Just pausing to hear an inhumane yell at 11AM or sudden thuds during the night. Speculate the ghost died in a fire from the lingering smell of burnt bacon grease and cheap tobacco.

Not to mention his ghost wife who occasionally appeared to yell, “Jawsee’ at all random hours when not using their poltergeist powers to break windows and laundry machines.

Sounds pretty gawth to me.
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Zak-Bagans-2-413639536.jpg

Just what could Mary's cries of "I'm washing my face!" really mean?

Some say it's her trying to wash her boyfriend's blood off. Others say she relives the moment she drowned drunk in the bathtub...every...single night.
 
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