He actually did have his fair share of Troles,paypigs,and Ahawgs dood. There are countless stories of said Troles giving him money and intentionally awful financial advance (such as sending Coals to NewCaster and Bed Warmers to the Carribean) only for him to make bank offkf them.
"A grate good man Came to see me Not Long sence I told sade man I had many Innemys he says be Cos you are toue onnest to be beloved "
Imperator Anguis Ioshua Mediocris Tonsores
Ever since Cobra lost his job at Wendy's, he's been saying something to the effect of:
He's sometimes not as explicit as that but he has been in moments of vulnerability, like you mentioned above. Cobra realized a long time ago that he's simply too braindead to ever amount to anything, he puts on a nice facade and it serves to protect his ego well enough but in his heart, he knows what he is and it's why he's so terrified of criticism. It is a deeply painful thing for him to face the truth he already knows. So he's regulated himself to being the town drunk, where every single day is a party, he can embody hedonism and he doesn't give a fuck because he's going to die anyway, he would much rather die happy in a pool of his own vomit, surrounded by people who frankly worship him than aspire to be the most he could ever be without it; A fucking Walmart greeter for 40 years.
Aww yea HERE YE HERE YE LONG LIVE OZZY MOTHER FUCKERS*ding ding*
That's a form of cope. The average special ed regard Walmart greeter from buttfuck nowhere Wyoming doesn't have over 100K subscribers, a mini cult following willing to fund his lifestyle and pay him money to do stuff and people making content about them online. If Cobra took even a miniscule effort towards improving his streams, interacting with new people and stepping outside of his trailer, he could become a lot more than he is now. Except Cobra takes no effort to improve anything ever even when people who sympathize with him try to give him advice.
Getting Ozzy a nicer birthday gift than anything he's ever gotten his own father is great. This will be even funnier when he inevitably complains about not having money to buy his family xmas gifts.
double check my post I edited it with the price estimate added...
I agree that he is too lazy to leave his comfort zone now, although I'm not sure he ever really wanted to leave his comfort zone. He wants(wanted?) to be a rockstar because it sounded cool but even if for some reason ozzy himself came to him and offered to make him a star he wouldn't do it I think he likes talking about what he will/would do more than actually doing it. He could have honestly been mildly successful with the wands and it would have been stupidly easy but the minute it required more than 30 minutes a few times a week he instantly gave up.
Jord is like a Tim and Eric character that became a real boy.
It’s mostly that he realized he had to work really hard for it, so he just said fuck it, imma drink myself to death instead.
That's his text message notification. Faggots are constantly texting him. It does seem way more frequent now, though.
Cobra and Clint incest arc?
It is beyond insane that not only does he refuse to change his number, he actually leaves that fucking sound on so that his trolls can bother him 24/7. It's like he actively wants to let them make him as miserable as possible.
i don't think he would've gotten josh an apartment if he didn't. tons of other parents would've told their kid to fuck off if they asked for an apartment.
