🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Blue Miaplacidus said:
I don't know how her parents haven't murdered her yet. That household must be hell on earth and they must be equally as deranged. I couldn't imagine having a water demon living in the cracks and crevices of my house constantly squawking 24/7, pissing in boxes, and playing terrible music non-stop as she screams into a cellphone. It's like a horror movie.
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she truly never quits yapping. even in that horrible “porn” she made she couldn’t stop fucking talking while sucking on a dick. never seen a more pathetic woman in me life toobz
 
Does anyone have that video of the Gothic Queen Corgi from like a year ago? I don't think the King Regard ever saw her 100% British bangers.
 
I know when your really bad into the booze, you dread that first drink because your body is so fucked up from constantly being poisoned. You literally have to force it down before your good to keep on pounding them again.

I also know it’s why he makes videos at all hours. Drink at noon, pass out few hours later, make a night video at 3am.

Same reason he doesn’t eat. Probably good mix of a fucked up stomach and seriously fucked teeth.

I have no clue why people bitch about Cobes. He’s literally in a hell of his own making with no end in sight beyond a painful, slow death.
 
I'm not sure about the rules in the park but cobra should install one of these on his trailer

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I doubt his paper mache and plastic trailer could support it is the only thing
 
Mushroom King said:
Do you think he's turning the videos off so quickly to puke? That was a pretty tame drink but the first drink in several hours can be a tough one to keep down if you're an around the clock alcohol enjoyer. Someone should send him a cool Ozzy clock to flex on us so we can see a time frame of this alcohol bending.
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I don't think so, he just wants to get this over with so he can focus on drinking.
 
Slim Boglim said:
I want to use bog vinegar to make hot sauce
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I got a crazy idea now. How about we get Cobes into growing his own chilies, then we get him into making hot sauce. Think of the dank vinegar from his failed mead, infused with deliciousness known only to the Boglim himself, added to his own hot sauce mixture with homegrown chilies and weed (if and when Wyoming legalises weed for personal use).
Only the strongest warlocks with the best Cobra Craft wands can handle his alchemical prowess. TMDWU
 
On the topic of "why be mad at retard?" - people who constantly absolve Cobra of any negative behavior because he's retarded are being a bit retarded themselves. It makes sense to be upset at someone who is intentionally lying to you (which Cobes was), especially when he is effectively lying so he can keep ruining his life for the sake of some 0/10 bogussy.

If you really want to say that Cobes bears absolutely zero responsibility for anything he does, then how retarded do you think he is, exactly? If a dog burns itself on a stove, it's not going to touch that stove again. If a fucking ANT burns itself on a stove, it probably won't touch that stove again. If a boglim burns itself on a fiery aluminum ingot, it is capable of understanding that the ingot burned its boghand and if it chooses to not only keep burning itself but also lying to its fans about whether it's still burning itself, that's pretty ridiculous behavior even for a retard. So is Cobes so retarded that he can't even be held to the expectations you would have for animals and insects? Would you be mad at a dog if it was continually burning the shit out of itself over and over again? Would you be a bad pet owner? Should the dog be put in a group kennel? Basically if you think Cobes is worthy of being considered a sentient creature, I think there's some validity in being mad for a bit when he chooses to self-own and then lie to your face about doing it.

To be clear, I am way past being back to finding this Cobes arc funny but I think it is a little odd that people really can't comprehend being a little upset when the Boy chooses to be a dishonest little shithead. It breaks the illusion that he is a bumbling but largely innocent retard and makes him into a much less sympathetic character. People don't like that. It is MDNWTFIU.
 
ㅤㅤㅤ said:
It makes sense to be upset at someone who is intentionally lying to you (which Cobes was), especially when he is effectively lying so he can keep ruining his life for the sake of some 0/10 bogussy.
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Honestly, if you believe anything coming out of that boy's mouth, or you give him money to do anything, you played yourself bud. Giving him money for entertainment sake is OK in my opinion, it's no different than paying for a Pay-Per-View/Netflix subscription. It's just pay for entertainment.

If you give him money for a wand though... yeah you're retarded. But don't worry, he'll get it done when he gets around to it. He won't have any money for shipping, though.

The only guarantee you get if you send him money is that he'll spend it on dank food hacks/drink combos/Chaturbate tokens. And that's the kind of the content I enjoy, I want to see the boy black out drunk saying stupid shit, while letting the pizza cool overnight so the ingredients congeal (definitely not because of tooth pain doodt). Plus, any one that watches Cobra regularly knows he lies to get money... it's one of his character traits. It's not an endearing or an excusable thing, it just is what it is toobz.
 
Bifocal Lens said:
Honestly, if you believe anything coming out of that boy's mouth, or you give him money to do anything, you played yourself bud. Giving him money for entertainment sake is OK in my opinion, it's no different than paying for a Pay-Per-View/Netflix subscription. It's just pay for entertainment.

If you give him money for a wand though... yeah you're retarded. But don't worry, he'll get it done when he gets around to it. He won't have any money for shipping, though.

The only guarantee you get if you send him money is that he'll spend it on dank food hacks/drink combos/Chaturbate tokens. And that's the kind of the content I enjoy, I want to see the boy black out drunk saying stupid shit, while letting the pizza cool overnight so the ingredients congeal (definitely not because of tooth pain doodt). Plus, any one that watches Cobra regularly knows he lies to get money... it's one of his character traits. It's not an endearing or an excusable thing, it just is what it is toobz.
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I like it when people give Cobes money. It fuels the content and sometimes he totally disregards it and makes the donator seethe. I actually don't understand when people get mad about that. People give money to entertainers all the time and Cobes is usually very entertaining.
 
Well besides being a literal retard josh has the mind of like a 14 year old coomer brain besides jerking off and getting high/drunk its not surprising he lied so he could get some pussy. Idk why people are getting mad like you aren't watching a lolcow this isn't a normal streamer lying to their fans. It's not like josh is posting links for bogboyETF coin. Idk imo it's not that serious
 
Bifocal Lens said:
If you give him money for a wand though... yeah you're retarded. But don't worry, he'll get it done when he gets around to it. He won't have any money for shipping, though.
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I always thought "sending Cobes money for a wand" was like the equivalent of AO3 fanfiction writers posting venmo links asking for coffee money. You know, like a themed grift? Surely people don't buy wands from Josh, expecting to receive said wands? Heck, does he even still craft them anymore?
 
ㅤㅤㅤ said:
but I think it is a little odd that people really can't comprehend being a little upset when the Boy chooses to be a dishonest little shithead
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He's not lying to me, why should I care if he lies about anything? I think he's funny, because he's a retard who lies to himself. If you truly got upset over a retard lying about not seeing a water daemon then I don't know what that says about yourself. He's lying to himself, not to you. He's hurting himself, not you. If you're sending a retard alcoholic money and expecting things, that's a you problem not a retard problem as well. I'm just here to laugh at cobra, and most lolcows. As long as he's not lying about hurting innocent people or animals, I don't care what he does. Retard or not.

Besides, anyone who actually follows Cobra knew immiedately he was seeing Jessica and lying about it. Oh Cobra said he suddenly decided to leave his bog den on not-Halloween to drink at a bar with friends when the only girl who has given him pussy in 6 years is suddenly in town, I guess he's drinking with these nondescript friends and not hanging out with a water daemon.
 
Finally caught up with the BogCron recap. It's so fascinating how when drunk he's terribly self aware of how badly he's fucked up his social life, familial relations, health and prospects. But when sober he's completely lost in delusion about every girl since the 4th grade, ride bike, rockstar badboy with pristine hair and teeth, etc.
He's not gotten the dream clock tower buuuuut at least he's got the tactical train horn in the background that goes off at regular times. Also COPD is coming in nicely toobs, that persistent cough is goff as fuck.
 
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Blue Miaplacidus said:
Besides, anyone who actually follows Cobra knew immiedately he was seeing Jessica and lying about it. Oh Cobra said he suddenly decided to leave his bog den on not-Halloween to drink at a bar with friends when the only girl who has given him pussy in 6 years is suddenly in town, I guess he's drinking with these nondescript friends and not hanging out with a water daemon.
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I didn't want to believe she was in the trailer, but I'll believe him saying they weren't together. He probably saw it as doing a solid for a friend with benefits, and doing some things he promised to do. Yeah, he got a little more sentimental when drunk and called her his old lady, but he didn't continue.

And I'm mostly of this belief because of how much it makes her seethe that he called her that, and won't talk to her now twu
 
His refusal to shave his disgusting shitlocks off even when offered money is mind-blowing to me. It's basically free money as hair grows back doodt.

As a man in Cobes' age bracket it amazes me how fucked his hygiene is. Surprised papa nips doesn't hose him down in the yard once a week just to help deal with the ichor and crotch rot.
 
Youtube Celery said:
His refusal to shave his disgusting shitlocks off even when offered money is mind-blowing to me. It's basically free money as hair grows back doodt.

As a man in Cobes' age bracket it amazes me how fucked his hygiene is. Surprised papa nips doesn't hose him down in the yard once a week just to help deal with the ichor and crotch rot.
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He is desperate to distance himself from his father. Shaving it off would make him too closely resemble Clint that’s all there really is to it. I thinks also his defiance issues play into it. If somebody tells him he’d look better with a shaved head and he shaves his head then he sees it as somebody getting a “win” over him and he can’t allow it. I’m the same age as Cobies, literally to the day, it’s genuinely insane how fucked he looks, he looks like he’s got 10 years on me and I’m not particularity young looking for our age either.
 
Youtube Celery said:
His refusal to shave his disgusting shitlocks off even when offered money is mind-blowing to me. It's basically free money as hair grows back doodt.

As a man in Cobes' age bracket it amazes me how fucked his hygiene is. Surprised papa nips doesn't hose him down in the yard once a week just to help deal with the ichor and crotch rot.
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This actually happened? He's balding horrifically. I'm sure his gross hat has a lot to do with that aswell. I would say that he's insecure about the shape of his head... hence the hat but he doesn't seem to care about his appearance at all other than trying to look goffy.
 
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