🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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ibeatmywife said:
I know people have been saying it for awhile now but the last 2 days worth of cobes content has really shown how massive his legs are getting. etter not become paraplegic or a double amputee BOY
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Edema caused by liver failure coming in nicely toobz.

Seriously though, I've always wondered just HOW BIG of an alcoholic he is. I mean, he's definitely psychologically dependent (I don't need alcohol to have good time) and his body is clearly shutting down, but I don't think he's at the point of being at risk of death if he just quits cold turkey.

I know NAL said that he pukes when he wakes up and goes straight to drinking, but I'm not inclined to believe that bitchs' word on anything. That may happen, but I don't believe her. There are also allegations that he drinks offstream, just like a couple of beers so he can get a buzz going, but then sits in front of his computer and doesn't consume any alcohol. That being said, I'm almost sure that he drinks every single day, and has been for three or four years. He might take one or two days off if he's in the negative, but I'm confident in saying he's drunk around 80% of the year. At this point, he probably has trouble sleeping if he doesn't get a couple of beers into his gut before bedtime. I'm not sure if it's so bad that he gets the shakes, but his crappy camera probably won't be able to pick them up, unless they get REALLY severe. He might also have jaundice, but his camera won't pick it up I don't think.

Ironically, I think that the only thing saving him from being drunk 100% of the time are his trolls and his bank account. He doesn't speak about it that much anymore, but a year ago, before the NAL shit, he did go live and say "I don't need alcohol to have a good time, I'm not an alcoholic", and he'd sit in his throne mostly sober and pouting, just to prove to the troles that he doesn't need to drink.

He's decaying rapidly, but I think he still has another 10/20 years of hard drinking before he buys the farm. There are tons of heavy alcoholics that make it past 50, despite being homeless and eating nothing but bread and cigarette butts for years.

I wish he'd quit, or at the very least, get drunk only once or twice a week. But we all know that doesn't mesh with his gothic bad boy famous musician lifestyle.

BETTER NOT GET DRUNK ON STREAM BOY
 
He's admitted himself a couple of times recently that he is an alcoholic. Plus part of the main reasons he let NAL into his trailer was her showing up with alcohol.

Sadly I can't see him ever quitting booze. He doordashes it himself but on top of that his has a mixture of fans sending him it to be nice and trolls sending him it to try and make him go live drunk, also there would be a few faggots that if Cobes ever actually made an attempt to quit they would send him alcohol to halt that progress.
 
Bifocal Lens said:
He's decaying rapidly, but I think he still has another 10/20 years of hard drinking before he buys the farm. There are tons of heavy alcoholics that make it past 50, despite being homeless and eating nothing but bread and cigarette butts for years.
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I think a blood clot from him sitting on his ass all day every day might take him out before the liquor
 
anliteralidiot said:
I'm back at it again, making my own Cobes food. This time I got the cake mix, and the water substitutes.
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Devil's Food TWU (closest thing to a black cake I could find)
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Green sodas TMDWU
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Dew goes good with everything. Chocolate and spiced apple soda taste good together. This is going to taste exquisid.
View attachment 6416238
View attachment 6416244

It's not terrible. The Beetlejuice soda is weirdly prevalent, and it leaves a bigger impression in the cake than the Dew, despite me using less of it, and it lingers for a long time as an aftertaste. But, both of the sodas, together, just cancel out the chocolate flavor.

I don't want to ice it, because I don't know what icing would be complementary? But it would help. Not using water makes these cakes very crumbly, I've found. ...y'know maybe bacon bits would improve it. The saltiness would enhance the chocolate part. Hm.

5/10 it's very mid, and the Beetlejuice soda flavor aftertaste is weird.
Husband says 4/10, "it just tastes like nothing"

Next time I've got a white cake, various fruit drinks, and I want to try layering them...
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Did you forget the doritoes crumble on top? Either way, a fine effort. 10/10 would bog. We need more connasewers preparing true gastronomic masterpieces such as these. I'm thinking about a dorito bacon bit chez cak. Mtn dew drizzle? Fish garnish optional.
 
Down From The Champions said:
He's admitted himself a couple of times recently that he is an alcoholic. Plus part of the main reasons he let NAL into his trailer was her showing up with alcohol.

Sadly I can't see him ever quitting booze. He doordashes it himself but on top of that his has a mixture of fans sending him it to be nice and trolls sending him it to try and make him go live drunk, also there would be a few faggots that if Cobes ever actually made an attempt to quit they would send him alcohol to halt that progress.
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Alcohol's a rough thing to quit, it's so cheap and easy to get, pop into basically any store and it'll be there on the self. Hell with doordash you don't even have to do it. You start needing it to sleep and you stop enjoying your favorite things unless you've got a buzz going. Many a man has been defeated by alcohol and I unfortunately don't think Cobes has the willpower for it, even if he does eventually admit he has a problem. Maybe a major health scare could do it, but I've known people who drank hard for 40 years until something finally happened to put them in the hospital.

Circle of protection, Cobros :(
 
ibeatmywife said:
I know people have been saying it for awhile now but the last 2 days worth of cobes content has really shown how massive his legs are getting. Better not become paraplegic or a double amputee BOYView attachment 6421196
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i wonder how much of that is fluid retention. from what we know he mostly sits in his chair all day which cant be good for circulation and he almost never drinks water while eating plenty of salty foods.

the boy is working his way to a blood clot or worse for sure. though i doubt he lives long enough for any form of amputations to take place.
 
UncommonParlence said:
Did you forget the doritoes crumble on top? Either way, a fine effort. 10/10 would bog. We need more connasewers preparing true gastronomic masterpieces such as these. I'm thinking about a dorito bacon bit chez cak. Mtn dew drizzle? Fish garnish optional.
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MTN DEW icing is dew-able... Shit, I could make it for the second one, since the dew flavor would pair well with the fruity flavors.

And candy that bacon, and use it as the cheesecake crust...candied bacon weave crust......
 
Tetragrammaton said:
i wonder how much of that is fluid retention. from what we know he mostly sits in his chair all day which cant be good for circulation and he almost never drinks water while eating plenty of salty foods.

the boy is working his way to a blood clot or worse for sure. though i doubt he lives long enough for any form of amputations to take place.
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I met a guy a few weeks back who smokes a ton and eats nothing healthy. He has diabetes and on his right foot he had 2 large open sores and you could see to the bone. A few days ago I heard from his ex wife that he was going in for surgery soon to have the foot removed. I see this being a big possibility for Cobra in the future.
 
anliteralidiot said:
Peg legs are goth af
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I mean, one badly lazy eye, pie high hat that looks like a battered tricorn, parrot, I think the peg leg would only solidify this new gothic pirate aesthetic. Reminds me, I need to do a page just for Jord's fashion over the years. Lesbian aunt, denim goth, camo jacket goth, ride bike goth, homeless vietnam vet, goth cowboy...
 
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JanitorJoe said:
she says its abandoned and not for sale but she wants to move in and somehow purchase it. squatter era whilst stalking jord perhaps?
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If it's abandoned, then there's no running water to fuel her 5 hour soaks. Imagine being stalked by a crazy bitch who went full hobo mode.

It would be funnier if Cobes wasn't so vulnerable.
 
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