🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Agamemnon Busmalis said:
Bogodus 35: Clint then rebuked the Boglim, and fpake thus. "Thine landlord hath told me thine lease is terminated and thou must depart, as thou inflicted grievous damage upon this dwelling-place, in the amount of fix-thoufand dollars."

The Boglim was incenfed, and verily did the walls fhake with his anger. "That is bullfhit! There is no way I caufed fix-thousand dollars worth of damage to this dwelling!"
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And so sayeth the boglord. Sky god hath begat prodigal nipples. Nipples hath begat abomination the dark lord Cobratin and his son Cobrero. And thus Cobratin so spake "verily sickos become fucketh and lost be the trolleth. Yay though the anonymous texters birth acts of sickening virulence, damn them lord Satan, damn them to the lowest most forsaketh pits of hell where bogwitch do abide" sky God be'eth on some fucketh shit but great lord Ozzy shall abideth. Fucketh iron maiden for truly they consist of punketh bitches whom shall possess asses surely to be kicked by the goth lord Cobrero son of Cobratin son of Nipples begat of Satan his selfth. Thatus isus whutus uupis.
A Ma'am
 
Agamemnon Busmalis said:
I didn't even know Tactical Soap existed before Cobra. Not that I'd buy it but still, publicity is publicity.
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Really, maybe you get some purchases from weirdos but if I learn about something from some greasy mental retard, who looks like he never even uses soap, and he's shilling soap, if I'm a normie I'm not buying that shit even ironically. Especially when it's fucking $10 a bar? Dafuq?

And it claims to have pheromones even though there's no evidence humans even have pheromones or even the means to detect them (our organ for it is vestigial and does nothing). Dr. Bronner's Schizopost Soap should be good enough for anyone.
 
Incel Death Note said:
Cobes does believe in aliens. He even claims to have seen a UFO. He also believes in bigfoot. Clandestine government operations probably bore the boy but tell him there's a big monkey man walking around out there and he's on board "Hehe yeeesth, dood I'd smoke a joint with Bigfoot"
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"Darf, there's a samsquantch right outside my fuckin' door, he's trying to get into my trailer"
"Don't scare 'em, Josh, those fuckers are worth a lot of money"

Then he and Darf beat the shit out it with pipes and a bat but it's actually Clint.
 
Fishcakes said:
Maverick 3 Solid Cologne Booster (2-pack) $18.62
God of War Beard oil - $37.95
Bond Pheromone infused Deodorant $29.95
Bond Body Butter $29.95
Bond Soap x 3 $35.85
Maverick x 3 $35.85
Bond #3 x 3 $35.85
So $224 on fucking soap

Out of all the human beings on planet Earth it is still bewildering to me that Josh loves this soap stuff so much and looks like he smells like an unwashed asshole but instead must stink like a perfumed dandy.
However he does wear the same shirt for 35 days that must smell like a piss soaked gym towel at the bottom of a locker which probably cancels it out.

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Only Cobes could spend this amount on hygiene products, but still look like he hasn’t showered in weeks. He’s the equivalent of a middle schooler that thinks “showering” in Axe body spray after gym class will counteract the smell.

Also, I don’t get why he insists on Bond being his favorite of the bar soaps. From product reviews I’ve read, the biggest complaint I hear is that Bond will make your bathtub/shower look dirty fast. Not that I think he really cleans, but to everyone else who isn’t a boglim, it’s an annoyance.
 
JambledUpWords said:
He’s the equivalent of a middle schooler that thinks “showering” in Axe body spray after gym class will counteract the smell.
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Or a tomgirl. :tomgirl:

JambledUpWords said:
Also, I don’t get why he insists on Bond being his favorite of the bar soaps.
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I think either he just likes the scent the most, or it's the first one he tried and he has an extreme aversion to change. Probably nothing more complicated than that.
 
JambledUpWords said:
Also, I don’t get why he insists on Bond being his favorite of the bar soaps. From product reviews I’ve read, the biggest complaint I hear is that Bond will make your bathtub/shower look dirty fast.
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1.) Bond is black (goth as fuck).
2.) He doesn't shower, he dry rubs the soap on his clothes (also black, also goth as fuck).

Still makes me chuckle everytime he talks about "wearing" his soap.
 
Bogritos are out and pinwheels are in. And in true boglim fashion, part 2 got uploaded first and he used too many ingredients.
sweaty bog.PNGsweaty bog 2.PNG
 

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The boy is sweatin up a storm in that trailer, I don't know if it is confirmed that he doesn't have air conditioner or at least a swamp cooler. That's gotta be rough during heatwaves.
 
I love how what constitutes as “nerve wracking” for Josh is the fact his pin wheel “shell” ripped because he overstuffed it.

Also he keeps pronouncing tortilla as “tore-till-a” and I can’t tell if he’s being ironic like people often do when goofing around or if that’s how he thinks you say it
 
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