🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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funscape said:
Cobra is a prime candidate for a colonoscopy. With how he drinks, he's almost certainly had bloody stool by now. Bloodwork and a colonoscopy appointment would be the first thing any half-decent doctor would order for our king. Unfortunately, Josh would never stoop so low to have a probe shoved up his ass. His dignity would suffer too much. The prep work is also a barrier. Boy would have to fast for 24 hours and take laxatives all day.
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Idk one ass probing vs the pain and humiliation of ass cancer, which wins for him?
I've lost someone to colorectal cancer, spread to the liver, and it's awful. I also don't want the boy to suffer.
 
anliteralidiot said:
Idk one ass probing vs the pain and humiliation of ass cancer, which wins for him?
I've lost someone to colorectal cancer, spread to the liver, and it's awful. I also don't want the boy to suffer.
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That is a rough way to go, and I'm not sure if you could con Cobes into a colonoscopy. But all the information you could get from that...like counting the rings on an ancient redwood. It all tells a story. I wouldn't want to see him suffer like that, I know there is a lot of "he gets what he deserves" but watching him rot away from something like that is just grim. Anything to do with your stomach, kidneys, liver, pancreas all is a slow painful ride out. What if that laxative flushed what ever demon was hiding in there and he returns to normal? Well as normal as a regard can get.
 
Grape Garden said:
That is a rough way to go, and I'm not sure if you could con Cobes into a colonoscopy
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Cobes is extremely homophobic (which is why I highly doubt the threesome in a van story) and the only way I think you could convince him to stick anything up his ass would be to have Ozzy come on camera and say KingCobraJFS you have to have this colonoscopy for the dark lord to save my life and even then I doubt it would work.
 
Grape Garden said:
I know there is a lot of "he gets what he deserves" but watching him rot away from something like that is just grim.
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If Josh was a normal person with a normal IQ I would totally say he gets whatever he deserves for refusing to go to the doctor but he's not at all normal and I'm sure he can't even comprehend things like pancreatitis or a tooth infection spreading to his brain.
 
Blue Miaplacidus said:
Cobes is extremely homophobic (which is why I highly doubt the threesome in a van story) and the only way I think you could convince him to stick anything up his ass would be to have Ozzy come on camera and say KingCobraJFS you have to have this colonoscopy for the dark lord to save my life and even then I doubt it would work.
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"I hate colonoscopies more than I love Ozzy Osbourne, to be quite honest."
 
Blue Miaplacidus said:
Cobes is extremely homophobic (which is why I highly doubt the threesome in a van story) and the only way I think you could convince him to stick anything up his ass would be to have Ozzy come on camera and say KingCobraJFS you have to have this colonoscopy for the dark lord to save my life and even then I doubt it would work.
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Ozzy got sober and Cobes ain't on that track or about that life. I don't think he's following Ozzy so much as he's following his own tight little idea of what Ozzy is.
 
ash_clown said:
So, a little late on this, but I'm watching his latest steak cooking video and goddamn... I'm watching this boglim manhandle his steak with zero regard for cross contamination wiping his raw steak hands on his shirt and touching his face/adjusting his glasses.

How, just how, is this boglim not in serious medical emergencies on the reg?? Circle of protection on our boy doods

Also, if teotwawki ever happens DO NOT CANNIBALIZE THIS BOGLIM EVEN AS A LAST RESORT, guaranteed trichinosis toobs

TMDNWU

Edit: I just realized he's not using the gas stove, I guess Josh and his daddy agreed that's a no go... what a retard
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Boglim resilience is kind of legendary. That steaks greatest fecal contamination risk from slaughter to his maw is his filthy dick beaters though. If you noticed the handles on the brand new refrigerator they appear to already be significantly corrupted from his touch.
Agamemnon Busmalis said:
Probably has some serious zinc deficiency from all of it, loss of appetite, diarrhea and hair loss are three major symptoms.

Better not use Flintstones gummies in your next mead, BOY.
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He often overdrinks whatever "Sports Drinks" the algorithm is currently advertising to the boy which is Body Armor. Also in one of his recents vids he had a suspicous amount of what looked like various NatureMade type supplements that Jessica, who consumes colloidal silver and other "Medicines" probably made him buy for her.
 
I don’t think his resistance is ‘legendary’ as much as he just suffers off-camera with god knows how many issues. He clearly is in pain from his teeth, doesn’t eat for a possible multitude of reasons, his appearance has aged him well over a decade than his years, and he seems to have mini-seizures on camera. Hell, even his speech is drastically different from the Lesbian Aunt days.

Boy is not long for this world at this rate
 
funscape said:
Cobra is a prime candidate for a colonoscopy. With how he drinks, he's almost certainly had bloody stool by now. Bloodwork and a colonoscopy appointment would be the first thing any half-decent doctor would order for our king. Unfortunately, Josh would never stoop so low to have a probe shoved up his ass. His dignity would suffer too much. The prep work is also a barrier. Boy would have to fast for 24 hours and take laxatives all day.
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well, alcohol raises your chances of getting colon cancer, so it makes sense he will needs ones. I would love to see him take a hepatic test. I'm curious how far his liver damage is.
 
curbside2 said:
I believe that mentioning Ozzy is part of the Church of England is a sore point for Josh.
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He also wasn't too keen to find out his upside cross is actually the petrine cross, or St Peter's cross (who was crucified upside down). I also suspect trolls told him Дай Боже meant he was praising sky god because he hasn't said it since.
 
All this talk of Cobes going to the hospital reminds me of how horrible Josh could be if left alone in a hospital wing for an extended period of time.
That man will be hotboxing the room he shares with 2 other people and mixing drink combos to stealthily inject into his IV bag the entire time, other patients in the room be damned.
 
Lei Wulong's Left Leg said:
All this talk of Cobes going to the hospital reminds me of how horrible Josh could be if left alone in a hospital wing for an extended period of time.
That man will be hotboxing the room he shares with 2 other people and mixing drink combos to stealthily inject into his IV bag the entire time, other patients in the room be damned.
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Hospital food hacks and IV bag drink combos would be funny, honestly... Like, him injecting alchohol straight into his bag to get drunk faster haha yessssth
...I'm surprised he hasn't ever tried to buttchug some mead.
 
anliteralidiot said:
Idk one ass probing vs the pain and humiliation of ass cancer, which wins for him?
I've lost someone to colorectal cancer, spread to the liver, and it's awful. I also don't want the boy to suffer.
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Let's be real Cobra has extreme high time preference. He would recoil at being involved in butt stuff even if it's medical. It would be too much for him to have the trolls know he was probed like some sissy boy.

Our boy simply doesn't think about health consequences even if they are immediate and apparent like his rotting teeth. He would dismiss any thought of future hospitalization due to late-stage cancer that might be years away.

anliteralidiot said:
Hospital food hacks and IV bag drink combos would be funny, honestly... Like, him injecting alchohol straight into his bag to get drunk faster haha yessssth
...I'm surprised he hasn't ever tried to buttchug some mead.
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"What's up Toobz, it's your boy KingCobraJFS back at it with an enema combo."
 
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Okay, I just found out Josh turned 33, I just turned 39 last week and yet he looks twice my age.
I always thought based on his videos and what he looks like he was at lest 50.
He is more than half a decade younger than I am and yet he looks like he is getting ready to die of old age.

This is why you should never hit the bottle.
 
BubbaRobot887 said:
Okay, I just found out Josh turned 33, I just turned 39 last week and yet he looks twice my age.
I always thought based on his videos and what he looks like he was at lest 50.
He is more than half a decade younger than I am and yet he looks like he is getting ready to die of old age.

This is why you should never hit the bottle.
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Living la vida boglim has a way of aging people 20 years in the span of 10.
 
North Oakland Avenue said:
When I get really dehydrated from a drinking binge my body tends to hold onto a lot of water until it finally doesn't and I then have waterfall shits for a day. With the length and frequency in which Cobez pounds the booze, how little he eats on his binge drinking days, and the absolute state of his kidneys/liver- one can only imagine that he's shitting pure foamy water and rabbit pellets at this point.

This is a big reason why alcoholics have an insanely high risk of GI/butt cancer:
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Some of the worst shits I've ever had in my life was when I was a daily drinker. Can you imagine Josh in his sweltering trailer bathroom, gripping the toilet seat as blistering chunks of hot shit lava explodes from his cheeks?
 
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