🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[uaurk]

Casper isn't exactly Detroit or East St. Louis.

Listen here bucko, in Detroit we have a Gucci store now, so it can't be that bad. Now if you said Saginaw or Flint I'd be more likely to agree with you. I've lived in both in areas and Flint is arguably way more terrifying.

Edit: I'd love to see Josh in Flint. He'd find a lot of eccentric homeboys.

 

[You're MDNWU]

in Detroit we have a Gucci store now, so it can't be that bad

But how many run n grabs will it take for Gucci to close the store down thanks to magic Americans? I know White Return has begun there, but it still isn't the best.

 

[BallBuster II]

I 100% expect Cobra to be feeling the squeeze. Cigarettes and booze ain't cheap.

To be fair, cigs are cheaper in Wyoming than in most states. In fact it is in the top 10 for cheapest in the country. You are right about the alcohol though. Wyoming is in the top 10 for the most expensive states when it comes to alcohol.

I will try to do some autistic math and see if this balances it out. Problem is, I am going to have to guess what he smokes and drinks on average a day. Any further input or guesses would be helpful.

And just for comparison: Illinois has the cheapest average case of beer at $15.20 and Missouri has the cheapest average pack of cigs at $6.11.
On the flips side, New York reigns supreme on cig prices at $12 a pack and Alaska for beer at $33.68 a case.

Is it safe to assume he smokes at least a pack a day, or do we think he is a 2 pack a day kind of cool cobra? I could split the different and guess 10 packs a week just to be safe. 4 Cartons a month sounds like a solid even number.

Let's focus just on beer, I don't want to average in hard stuff. He starts drinking typically in the morning. I think it is safe to assume he probably drinks about half a case/12 beers a day on average. That's 84 beers a week. Let's round down to make the math easier and to give us a better chance of being under rather than over. 80 beers a week.

Average $ for a pack of smokes in WY is $6.85. Should our assumptions be right, this averages out to about $275 a month in smokes.

Average price of a case (24 cans) of beer in Wyoming is $26.68 (some sites put it at $28 though). This averages out to roughly $373 a month just in beer.

So on average, based on a diet of 10 packs of smoke a week and 80 beers a week, his monthly total is $648. Let's add a 2% margin of error to account for cheaper brands, as the beer/smokes prices I got don't mention brands, they are just overall averages (but Cobes does drink typically known brand beers, I don't know what he smokes though).

With the modest margin of error, the final monthly cost on beer and smokes is $635.

These averages could be refined further with preferred brands, but even Marlboro Reds seem to be on the money at $6.85 a pack in Wyoming. Even rounding down we are still at $600 a month, and that is just a mind boggling number. This doesn't account for any hard liquor, edibles, weed, pipe tobacco (which is negligible in my opinion based on the massively reduced cost of loose tobacco in general), the occasional stogie (dude wouldn't know the difference between a $50 aged Perdomo and a White Owl so this is also negligible).

Feel free to correct any of my numbers, averages, or guesses.

 

[RL Steinbeck]

Post Clintart for us newbies who haven't had the pleasure. I love me some try-hard mediocre art.

Here's some of the hits. Note: there are most certainly better quality versions out there; these are from his website and they're either low-res, or have an annoying title banner across the bottom, but you'll get the gist.

Spoiler: Clint's art

 

[chimpSculpture]

I'm not even entirely convinced he's moving into a trailer, even if Cobes mentioned a trailer to Methica, that's two layers removed from Daddy Dearest. Who is the actual person who's having to decide all this.

His dad might have mentioned that he was playing with the idea of potentially moving him into a trailer. That get's passed through the Boglim brain filter, and then the Methica filter before we even hear it.

If Cobes was moving into a trailer surely he would be in one by now? How long does it take to buy one and pull it up somewhere? Moving into an apartment takes much more time.

 

[Star Spangled Bogger]

Thoughts?

I think these are cool ideas. A Cobra wiki that was protected from a-loggers shitting it up would be fantastic. We could slowly build up a True and Honest collection of Cobra content.

All the other stuff, amazing! It would be a dream if the guy who makes the Cobra AI videos provided the Cobra voice model (it surely has to be a custom model?), so CobraGPT could answer back in Cobra's voice. Actually, anything that Cobra voice model says is hilarious. It could read you The Count of Monte Christo and help you get to sleep.

 

[whogoesthere]

Here's some of the hits. Note: there are most certainly better quality versions out there; these are from his website and they're either low-res, or have an annoying title banner across the bottom, but you'll get the gist.

Good to see he still has not updated his site to https, so it kicks out a warning. Also, I forgot how often he is featured in his own art. In pertic, his biceps, he is very proud of his biceps. Who does that remind us off.

I have always maintained that Clint is a decent enough father, because in my mind, he is only a few rungs higher than Cobra at best. You can also see in that art, it screams of a 15 year old boy doing his first "you dont fucking know me, I am gonna fight the man, the man is always trying to bring me down", which is fine for a youngster, its a right of passage. But you need to have moved on from that by the time the 20 hits, or else it starts to look rather sad and somewhat cringe.

Cobras art is legit much better and way more interesting than anything Clint has put out. Clint tries to hard to be cool, Cobra lets his drunken insanity just flow.

 

[RL Steinbeck]

It could read you The Count of Monte Christo and help you get to sleep.

You might be on to something. If we could create a repository of cobraisms that the AI could swap in for common phrases that appear in the text, that would be amazing.

"It's no problem, sir." -> "It's no skin off my shoes, sir."

 

[grand larsony]

Here's some of the hits. Note: there are most certainly better quality versions out there; these are from his website and they're either low-res, or have an annoying title banner across the bottom, but you'll get the gist.

Spoiler: Clint's art

View attachment 5931117View attachment 5931115View attachment 5931116View attachment 5931118View attachment 5931119View attachment 5931120View attachment 5931121View attachment 5931122View attachment 5931123View attachment 5931125View attachment 5931126

These are kinda fascinating, really what I imagine a lot of Cobra's art would be if he was less retarded. It's like if someone spent 20 years learning photoshop, but only 10 minutes learning anything about art. The shoops are well-done but completely bash you over the head with whatever message he's trying to get across. It sits in a strange place between skillful yet totally fumbling. I actually unironically like these, as goofy as they are.

I think these are cool ideas. A Cobra wiki that was protected from a-loggers shitting it up would be fantastic. We could slowly build up a True and Honest collection of Cobra content.

All the other stuff, amazing! It would be a dream if the guy who makes the Cobra AI videos provided the Cobra voice model (it surely has to be a custom model?), so CobraGPT could answer back in Cobra's voice. Actually, anything that Cobra voice model says is hilarious. It could read you The Count of Monte Christo and help you get to sleep.

I still have an ElevenLabs subscription so I could probably get at least some static clips set up in his voice. Sadly though the ElevenLabs API is pretty expensive, and if the site picked up any traction the bill would get out of hand pretty quick. I love the idea of having some Cobra AI clips though, thanks for that one
I'd love to contribute to a Cobra wiki if someone made one, but sadly I just can't commit to keeping it clean from the spazzes that will inevitably shit it up if I'm hosting it myself. If anyone ever does set one up someone please @ me and I'll put tons of articles and video summaries up.
Whisper & ffmpeg are running full steam ahead. My computer sounds like a garbage disposal and the room has become noticeably warmer. Can't wait to get CobraGPT set up, this will most definitely be what's up

Edit:

You might be on to something. If we could create a repository of cobraisms that the AI could swap in for common phrases that appear in the text, that would be amazing.

"It's no problem, sir." -> "It's no skin off my shoes, sir."

If someone can put a list together I would love to put this into the LLM's instructions lol

 

[uaurk]

But how many run n grabs will it take for Gucci to close the store down thanks to magic Americans? I know White Return has begun there, but it still isn't the best.

Honestly, haven't been there myself but as far as I'm aware there are armed guards inside and outside. I'm not saying Detroit is perfect but it's not the nuclear wasteland it was in the 90s and 00s.

As I said in previous comment tho, seeing Josh in a big city arc would be amazing. Not that he'll ever do it, but something like the Vegas/NYC Larson arc would be 10/10. Obviously not with Larson's a logs and shit. Fuck them.

 

[WelperHelper99]

Listen here bucko, in Detroit we have a Gucci store now, so it can't be that bad. Now if you said Saginaw or Flint I'd be more likely to agree with you. I've lived in both in areas and Flint is arguably way more terrifying.

Edit: I'd love to see Josh in Flint. He'd find a lot of eccentric homeboys.

I'd fear for Cobes in Flint Michigan, he'd die of lead poisoning. Specifically the water, since they never fixed that. Or not. He could switch strictly to beer.

 

[uaurk]

I'd fear for Cobes in Flint Michigan, he'd die of lead poisoning. Specifically the water, since they never fixed that. Or not. He could switch strictly to beer.

They did fix it but it's not perfect for a lot of individual homes because the state/city didn't pay for all the piping to be replaced within the homes.

Unrelated but there's a bar I went to in a city just outside of Detroit once that is black magic themed and all their cocktails are called "potions" and lots of goth and wiccan chicks hang there. Cobes would fit right in.

 

[WelperHelper99]

They did fix it but it's not perfect for a lot of individual homes because the state/city didn't pay for all the piping to be replaced within the homes.

Unrelated but there's a bar I went to in a city just outside of Detroit once that is black magic themed and all their cocktails are called "potions" and lots of goth and wiccan chicks hang there. Cobes would fit right in.

So in other words they half assed it. Typical. Also that bar sounds perfect for Cobra. He'd probably make some frens there.

 

[uaurk]

So in other words they half assed it. Typical. Also that bar sounds perfect for Cobra. He'd probably make some frens there.

Yeah our governor during that period was genuinely awful and Flint city council was corrupt.

Yeah there was some really cool ass people there. If cobes like showered, groomed, and just kinda up kept himself, he definitely could have found some of age, alive, potentially cisgender punani there.

 

[Pascal's Wagie]

Here's some of the hits. Note: there are most certainly better quality versions out there; these are from his website and they're either low-res, or have an annoying title banner across the bottom, but you'll get the gist.

I may just be in a generous mood, but there is something in Clint's head that could—and perhaps sometimes is—interesting. I think it's been said before that the "Human Condition" series is the worst of Clint's work, and I think that's true. It just plops the biggest issues his art has right in front of the viewer in the form of a Ben Garrison cartoon all about normal human emotions. There's a complete lack of symbolism that saps away any enjoyment that you could possibly get by looking at Clint trapped in a silent movie sauna room. It's just so obvious that every picture would be instantly improved by removing the text that it's almost funny, like "how could he not have seen it?" I kinda genuinely enjoy the rest (except the Last Supper parody because all those women are fat and I would not have sex with them).

• Fags on Twitter and Reddit will say shit like this, but "Head in the Clouds" does look like a decent album cover, maybe at the height of Good Charlotte or Sum 41, etc.
• "The Little Things" is like seeing a giant Command and Conquer @Kane Lives getting tortured like Charlie in the Hell episode of Smiling Friends.
• The one in the desert with the snakes and weird horse people is like the opening of E.Y.E Divine Cybermancy.
• And "Specimen" makes me laugh because, well...
  

 

[ASeabear8952]

People have a pretty distorted view of Casper because their only lens into it is through the degenerates of the Cobraverse. Like they think it's just dive bars, chain stores, fast food places and section 8 apartments inhabited by boglims. Sure Casper's got its problems, but it seems like a nice small city to live in if you're into that.

Unironically that’s what YFS tried to do especially when he interviewed the mayor.

The only other Casper resident I know is a cyraxx-verse person, and he supposedly went to school with Cobes. Anyway, he's got some kind of palsy, I think, because he's in a wheelchair, and he believes he has the spirit of a black dragon in him. And he was caught taking pictures of girls at a mall, because they looked underaged.

Casper seems to produce some characters.

LOL I forgot Tony was originally from Casper.

 

[Big Nasty]

One of my memories from the subreddit was when some random hornyman posted "I want Stephanie to crush my head between her thighs like a watermelon in the jaws of a hippo."

 

[Slim Boglim]

I may just be in a generous mood, but there is something in Clint's head that could—and perhaps sometimes is—interesting. I think it's been said before that the "Human Condition" series is the worst of Clint's work, and I think that's true. It just plops the biggest issues his art has right in front of the viewer in the form of a Ben Garrison cartoon all about normal human emotions. There's a complete lack of symbolism that saps away any enjoyment that you could possibly get by looking at Clint trapped in a silent movie sauna room. It's just so obvious that every picture would be instantly improved by removing the text that it's almost funny, like "how could he not have seen it?"

I kinda genuinely enjoy the rest (except the Last Supper parody because all those women are fat and I would not have sex with them). Fags on Twitter and Reddit will say shit like this, but "Head in the Clouds" does look like a decent album cover, maybe at the height of Good Charlotte or Sum 41, etc. "The Little Things" is like seeing a giant Command and Conquer @Kane Lives getting tortured like Charlie in the Hell episode of Smiling Friends. The one in the desert with the snakes and weird horse people is like the opening of E.Y.E Divine Cybermancy. And "Specimen" makes me laugh because, well...
View attachment 5931478

Oh no not the Clint cum jar
Jokes aside it’s like I said before that Clint’s biggest failing as an artist is that he can’t let his art speak for itself. He needs to write an essay to accompany it explaining the meaning, the significance of his choices, the symbolism and everything which just removes any agency the viewer has. Theres no room for anybody to interpret their own meaning and as a consequence there’s no reason for anybody to engage with it. Of course his art sucks because it sucks but that part is the standout part that makes it double-suck

 

[Umaibae]

I sort of miss the regarded sperging of horse boy on Reddit. He’d been gone for years at this point.

Am I allowed to say SR5’s voice makes him sound hunky? Because it does.

 

[crying and shidding]

All questions about Cobra can be answered with one of three statements:

1. Yes, Because Josh is retarded.

2. No, Because Josh is retarded.

3. He ride bike, weather permit.

For those just joining us, weather has not been permitting.

Spoiler

His bike tire tube is flat, and he refuses to fix it