🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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God damn, Keemstar actually managed to tard wrangle the BOY. And on a panel with Wings too. Cobes said in the past that he wanted nothing to do with Wings over his age of consent comments.
 
HiveDull said:
Edit:
Omg what is this even?
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He was doing his Andrew Dice Clay... hqdefault.jpg
 
Allegedly the boy is "making new wands" this weekend and will make a custom red and blue one for the lolcow crew. I wonder how many months it will be before 1 wand from the order is made?

Also they want moldavite mounted as a gem on the wand, which is asking waaaaay too much from cobes. If they're lucky he might chuck some cheap polished quartz on there.
 
Fortyone said:
Allegedly the boy is "making new wands" this weekend and will make a custom red and blue one for the lolcow crew. I wonder how many months it will be before 1 wand from the order is made?

Also they want moldavite mounted as a gem on the wand, which is asking waaaaay too much from cobes. If they're lucky he might chuck some cheap polished quartz on there.
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"This weekend" means "sometime this year if enough people remind me" in Boglim time. I hope Keem, Wings and Boogie know how to wait patiently.
 
There are several reasons Josh shouldn't and likely wouldn't partner with Keem.
  1. Like it or not, the show would make a fuck ton of money, and the last thing the BOY needs is more disposable income.
    • Josh's best life is when he is on the verge of destitution, so if he suddenly starts making an extra $5k/month he will likely drink and eat himself into the grave earlier than he already is.
  2. Josh's ODD is undefeated.
    • One of Josh's defining characteristics is not doing what he's told. He won't participate in any "punishments", he won't take any shit from Keem, and he won't do anything if he thinks it's gay or is insulting Ozzy. So unless Keem is cool with letting Josh do whatever he wants, say whatever he wants, stream whenever he wants, and leave whenever he wants, Josh will just ghost everybody one day and then do a livestream about it a week later saying the break up was amicable on both sides, which will be news to everyone but him.
  3. Josh cannot live an orderly life no matter what's at stake.
    • The boy has a 5 star Etsy with hundreds of positive reviews and he can't even get off his ass to go outside and spray paint a stick for $500 on a regular basis, let alone stick to his OWN stream schedule. If this partnership did happen I can't imagine Josh being on time for even the first show, let alone multiple shows a week. It would just be constant late arrivals and no shows and with Josh being the most famous and entertaining he'd either need to get 1st or 2nd timeslot which he would fuck up, or he'd need to be the very last show which he'd end up missing half of them from being passed out drunk.
  4. Josh is too autistic to do the Kayfabe.
    • If any of the other retards Keem has wrangled fuck with Josh he will take it seriously and actually get pissed off which will lead to him quitting, and if anyone tries to explain it to him he's just gunna say it's retarded and not want to do it. If 100% of the show isn't sucking Josh's cock he will just get bored and fuck off, and there won't be any "Oh look everything's fine now, he's back", he'll just fuck off.
 
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Jerbear89 said:
nah he is an asshole he deserves what is coming to him
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Ok Darth Nihilist, let’s find your group.
youngestniggaincharge said:
he was recently hospitalized for alcohol induced pancreatitis which is supposedly insanely painful. He was in the ER for a day or two and immediately started drinking liquor
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Now that’s something that made me smile a bit more than I should admit. Yes, in terms of pain it’s soul crushing. The use of heavy pain meds and more for breakthrough pain management is part of protocol. It’s a very serious warning indicator someone is entering late late stage alcoholism, Probably has some fibrous liver scarring… ya know…. Cirrhosis.

I wonder how many alcoholics appreciate just how ugly, painful and disgusting liver failure is. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone… well, maybe there’s a few.

I’m not surprised he drank the same day. I’ve seen it happen more than a few times. It’s incredibly sad, but that’s h strong the addiction is.

TShirts will be dead LONG before The Boy unless something changes… quickly (about 6 months).
 
Irregardless said:
Josh is too autistic to do the Kayfabe.
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This would be the big one. Even in the event he wanted to go along with it, he wouldn't show. When he did, he'd forget his lines. When he didn't forget his lines, he'd be even less believable than Boogie's awful 2010-era "cah-RAZY!" internet acting. I don't think even top of his game Josh would have had the ability to stick to the dogshit wrestling dramatics that LCL is, much less the 2025 picklebrained bog.
 
PixarsTedKennedy said:
He always will. If I remember correctly he blames Bitesize for cock blocking him with Ellen.
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I mean…..he’s not right, but he’s not wrong either.

He cockblocked himself, he never had a chance but assuming he ever DID have a chance, Ellen seeing that documentary about herself on YouTube and it freaking her the fuck out was the first, second, third, forth, fifth nail in the coffin. She reacted very poorly to see that which is understandable as 30-40 personal pictures and her name is inextricably tied to Cobra for the rest of time. You wanna see how someone feels about that, ask Scotty. He fuckin’ does not enjoy it.
 
Fortyone said:
Allegedly the boy is "making new wands" this weekend and will make a custom red and blue one for the lolcow crew. I wonder how many months it will be before 1 wand from the order is made?

Also they want moldavite mounted as a gem on the wand, which is asking waaaaay too much from cobes. If they're lucky he might chuck some cheap polished quartz on there.
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They’re really unaware of Cobes to assume he could mount a stone without fucking it up lol doods drunk like 95% of the time
Sick pfp btw. Alice In Chains ftw toobz
 
Munchin' on Some Grindage said:
What was Cobes' best look throughout the years?

Edit: numbered them. Feel free to share ones that I missed.
1.View attachment 7030880 2.View attachment 7031295 3.View attachment 7031298 4.View attachment 7031300

5.View attachment 70313036.View attachment 7031309 7.View attachment 7031315 8.View attachment 7031320 9.View attachment 7031331

10.View attachment 7031338
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2 and 4 are still the first thing that pops into my head when I see them name "GothicKingCobra" or "KingCobraJFS".
 
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