🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Man, I wish Cobes could branch out with food hacks to try some baking. I remembered a hack with boxed cake mix, and now I want to see him try it. Most of them need a cup of water, and you can substitute out the water for soda. It works, and you get a mild soda flavor with your cake.

But what crazy shit would he add...
 
anliteralidiot said:
Man, I wish Cobes could branch out with food hacks to try some baking. I remembered a hack with boxed cake mix, and now I want to see him try it. Most of them need a cup of water, and you can substitute out the water for soda. It works, and you get a mild soda flavor with your cake.

But what crazy shit would he add...
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Extra cheese, extra bacon, onions, jalapenos, anchovies...
 
Burd Turglar said:
It's always been gay, it's a gossip forum.
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Idk man I’m starting to agree with the Reddit fags. Y’all cry about not pozzing negholes but then say it’s all good bro it’s a “gossip forum”

Wouldn’t “getting involved” be dosing the same shit? To save a retard who won’t listen or appreciate what you do for him anyways? You’re a faggot lol.
 
The Southwest Strangla said:
Yeah, he adds shit that kills the yeast. He drinks other shit, so I’m sure he’s getting drunk off of his jack and not the shit he makes.
If he wants to save money on booze, he’ll just get everclear. It’s cheap, but, for some reason, he said he was against drinking it. I guess drinking a shot of everclear is too much, but drinking a fifth of bottle shelf vodka is fine
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He doesn't seem to enjoy the taste of "real" alcohol and I've always held the belief that his initial drinking started because "real adults drink".
Never forget his reaction to cotton candy Everclear.
anliteralidiot said:
Man, I wish Cobes could branch out with food hacks to try some baking. I remembered a hack with boxed cake mix, and now I want to see him try it. Most of them need a cup of water, and you can substitute out the water for soda. It works, and you get a mild soda flavor with your cake.

But what crazy shit would he add...
Click to expand...
Now I'm imagining Cobes getting his paws on those vanilla cake mixes you can get and just overloading the batter with reese's peanut butter cups and skittles, eventually branching out to putting those bacon sprinkles he loves so much because "sweet and savoury works together, toobz, TMDWU"
 
PetiteFeet said:
Never forget his reaction to cotton candy Everclear.
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In his defense, that's one of the most fuckin disgusting drinks he has ever mixed.
But yeah, I always enjoyed how much alcohol Cobes drinks and how little he actually enjoys the taste. That's why he needs to water down everything, he even waters down wine and beer for fuck sake. Even though I haven't seen him drink wine in a while, probably because it's way too expensive for the little ammount of alcohol it has.

But he isn't an alcohol gulper, he's more of a sipper. He'd rather have a room-temperature mixed drink and sip it for an hour, rather than just take a shot or two. All the times we've seen him gag it's when he just takes a straight-up shot, or he doesn't mix it properly, like that tequila with water enhancers or whatever those are called. It's also why he's getting pudgy, the sugar from all the mixers he adds really takes a toll in the long run, along with constant 80$ dank food hacks.
 
PetiteFeet said:
He doesn't seem to enjoy the taste of "real" alcohol and I've always held the belief that his initial drinking started because "real adults drink".
https://youtube.com/watch?v=yOK7mB2jdq8Never forget his reaction to cotton candy Everclear.

Now I'm imagining Cobes getting his paws on those vanilla cake mixes you can get and just overloading the batter with reese's peanut butter cups and skittles, eventually branching out to putting those bacon sprinkles he loves so much because "sweet and savoury works together, toobz, TMDWU"
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Okay but there's an idea there. Vanilla with the Skittles, chocolate with the Reese's, and maybe yellow with bacon, add some maple syrup. Or fuck it, savory cake.

But I know he would just mix them all.

I'm more interested in his alternate water choice. I'm thinking of mixing a dew and a chocolate mix...
 
PetiteFeet said:
Never forget his reaction to cotton candy Everclear.
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In his defense 95% ABV Everclear is like trying to drink paint thinner. The only thing that really makes it tolerable is mixing it in small amounts into other things but even then it tastes like huffing a can of acetone.
anliteralidiot said:
I'm more interested in his alternate water choice. I'm thinking of mixing a dew and a chocolate mix...
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Something tells me it'd be alcohol. Personally I wish we were still in the Busch Peach era.

Cobra's Cake
Vanilla cake mix
Bacon Up bacon grease
Bacon bits
Country Crock
BodyArmor Lyte Peach Mango
Strawberry frosting
Skittles
Monster Energy
Doritos

I've thought for a while about trying to make palatable versions of his food hacks and drink combos but Lord have mercy is it impossible with some of the ingredients. The mashed potatoes with brown gravy and fish dip drove me insane trying to think up ratios of ingredients that wouldn't make it taste like vomit.
 
anliteralidiot said:
Man, I wish Cobes could branch out with food hacks to try some baking. I remembered a hack with boxed cake mix, and now I want to see him try it. Most of them need a cup of water, and you can substitute out the water for soda. It works, and you get a mild soda flavor with your cake.

But what crazy shit would he add...
Click to expand...
He used to bake something called ice cream bread years ago. It was just melted ice cream and flour baked at 420 degrees. Sometimes he'd add stuff like sugar and peanut butter to it, but never went super crazy like he does with his current recipes. I'd love to see him bring that recipe back, and load it up with the usual bacon, doritos, etc. Sucks he's too lazy to do anything like that now.
 
bonified retard said:
He used to bake something called ice cream bread years ago. It was just melted ice cream and flour baked at 420 degrees. Sometimes he'd add stuff like sugar and peanut butter to it, but never went super crazy like he does with his current recipes. I'd love to see him bring that recipe back, and load it up with the usual bacon, doritos, etc. Sucks he's too lazy to do anything like that now.
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I've made that before! It sucks are a bread, and it's really dense, but it's edible. When I tried it, I used chocolate, and it tasted like poptart crust, without the icing or filling.

I wonder if sugary foods set off his teeth?
 
anliteralidiot said:
I've made that before! It sucks are a bread, and it's really dense, but it's edible. When I tried it, I used chocolate, and it tasted like poptart crust, without the icing or filling.

I wonder if sugary foods set off his teeth?
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Jesus that sounds terrible. Main reason I can't stand to eat poptarts anymore is the crusts are like half of it even with the icing ones.
 
anliteralidiot said:
Okay but there's an idea there. Vanilla with the Skittles, chocolate with the Reese's, and maybe yellow with bacon, add some maple syrup. Or fuck it, savory cake.

But I know he would just mix them all.

I'm more interested in his alternate water choice. I'm thinking of mixing a dew and a chocolate mix...
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I've seen crazier combinations from actual trained chefs but yeah, the issue is Josh thinks "X thing I like + Y thing I like = XY thing I will like". And hell, the times I've bought cake mix I've spiced it up by adding fresh or frozen fruit buuuuut it'll be when Hell freezes over if he ever debased himself to putting that into his gullet.

Mmmm lucraine sharp cheddur cheese and bacon bits devils food cake, goff as fuck yootoobz. Add some dank green food colouring and swap the liquid for mtn dew & root beer drink combo, add lots and lots of whatever it is he calls butter which is really margarine (I'm not American so all of his brands of ingredients are lost in the void of my brain, sorry)
 
Shiba Inu Strike Force said:
Everclear is like rock bottom for alcoholics.
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I used to bartend and the rock bottom I saw first hand was a dude who would come in and order water and bitters. I had no idea what to charge, so I asked the owner and he said nothing. Well it turns out bitters isn't just something used for flavor in Old Fashions and other cocktails, but it has alcohol as well. So this old dude would come in every few days and just drink water with bitters for hours until another bar owner in the area caught on to this and let all of us in on it too. Turns out the reason he only came in every few days is cause he had a rotation of local bars he'd go to and do this.

PetiteFeet said:
I've always held the belief that his initial drinking started because "real adults drink".
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While I also share this belief, mine goes a bit deeper as well as I think it ties into his masculinity. He's always had issues with his masculinity and he copes by trying to peacock it with his "big muscles," how much bacon and grease he uses in his cooking, his constant talking of how a guy should treat a girl, and his alcohol and tobacco use as examples. He thinks all of these things make him an adult AND a man. It's part of his autism where there is no such thing as nuance to him so he takes all these things very surface level and he mimics what he sees "real men" do.
 
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Rusty Truknuts said:
come in and order water and bitters. I had no idea what to charge, so I asked the owner and he said nothing. Well it turns out bitters isn't just something used for flavor in Old Fashions and other cocktails, but it has alcohol as well. So this old dude would come in every few days and just drink water with bitters for hours until another bar owner in the area caught on to this and let all of us in on it too. Turns out the reason he only came in every few days is cause he had a rotation of local bars he'd go to and do this.
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I don’t know if I’m sad or impressed but that’s smart you have to admit
 
BrosefJumanji said:
Cobes is incredibly evil, cartoonishly evil, but he is pathetic and hapless to such a degree he is completely harmless to anyone outside of street trash and his own family. He isn't "too nice", he is conflict avoidant.
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Cobes isn't “ cartoonishly evil” he's a mentally stunted manchild with a terrible temper who flips out and says a bunch of edgy shit that is utterly impotent like you pointed out in your post.
 
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