🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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crakrock said:
I listen to Cobra's Crude Christmas Carols all through the holiday season. It's genuinely hilarious.
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It’s a holiday tradition to play his version of Jingle Bell Rock in our household. Fucking kills me every time, even though I know full well what’s coming. Probably his magnum opus.
 
ForTheHoard said:
In times like these, Cobes needs to ask himself, "What would Zakk Wylde do?"
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Get ripped off by Master Shake?

Al Dente Alighieri said:
Admitting that Limp Bizkit is, in fact, the shit is part of growing up. It is a pivotal moment in an adult man’s life and I will be proud of you when you get to that moment.
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If you aren't listening to Belarusian Post-Punk then you're basically a faggot
 
Star Spangled Bogger said:
I have thought long and hard and here are my picks for the Cobra Biopic.

Cobra: Danny De Vito or Jackie Chan
Warlord: Michael Cera or Steve Buchemi
Scrapper Steve: Peter Stormare
Scrapper Steve's wife: a pumpkin with a drawn of face, hollowed out, with burgers stuffed inside
Darf: John Candy or Jonah Hill
Stephanie: Lindsay Lohan
Clint: Ryan Renolds
Mr Green: Timothy Charomet
Arron: A piss soaked paper bag
Door Dashers: Nicolas Cage
Cool Taste: Benedict Cumenbach or whatever it's spelled
Schon: CGI Andy Serkis or live action Peter Dinklage with sharpie eyeliner
NAL: A real life warthog infected with aids and syphilis, who will be euthanised in the final scene.
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Have Uwe Boll direct. After all he put out his dream cast for a Sonichu movie a few weeks back.

And have Seizure write the script.
 
The gritty indie version of Jord’s life would be something like

Evan Peters as KingCobraJFS

Sarah Paulson as NAL

Paul Mescal as Warlord

Stanley Tucci as Papa Clint

Paul Dano as Shon

Jesse Plemons as Darf
 
ASeabear8952 said:
Have Uwe Boll direct. After all he put out his dream cast for a Sonichu movie a few weeks back.

And have Seizure write the script.
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Fuck, have Cobeson write. He's an accomplished author, just ask @SeizureRobot5000. I've read his "novel" front to... where it ends. "A very special blonde" in a near perfect style for boglimish theater. Besides, you need s retarded script for a retarded movie. Imagine Francis Ford Coppola wrote the screen play about Cobra. Big miss. It NEEDS unintentionally genius humor which cannot be produced on purpose. It takes an almost complete lack of self awareness. And where is the ever bubbling never ending well spring of utterly absent self awareness and unintentional comedy gold? Boglim's razor. It would be a sci fi space epic adaptation of Cobra's life. Of course it would be called "Boglim's Lazer".

@SeizureRobot5000
 
Umaibae said:
The gritty indie version of Jord’s life would be something like

Evan Peters as KingCobraJFS

Sarah Paulson as NAL

Paul Mescal as Warlord

Stanley Tucci as Papa Clint

Paul Dano as Shon

Jesse Plemons as Darf
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Sarah Paulson with a neck prosthetic and 3 days of insomnia
 
UncommonParlence said:
Fuck, have Cobeson write. He's an accomplished author, just ask @SeizureRobot5000. I've read his "novel" front to... where it ends. "A very special blonde" in a near perfect style for boglimish theater. Besides, you need s retarded script for a retarded movie. Imagine Francis Ford Coppola wrote the screen play about Cobra. Big miss. It NEEDS unintentionally genius humor which cannot be produced on purpose. It takes an almost complete lack of self awareness. And where is the ever bubbling never ending well spring of utterly absent self awareness and unintentional comedy gold? Boglim's razor. It would be a sci fi space epic adaptation of Cobra's life. Of course it would be called "Boglim's Lazer".

@SeizureRobot5000
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Okay you have me sold! LMAO
 
Unfriendly Eurofag said:
Sounds like you did not pay enough attention then, Cobes has been one of the most "stable" lolcows over the years. I am willing to bet that everything will be back to "normal" once the cunt finally offs herself. She will be forgotten sooner than later and he will add this experience to his infinite gender relations wisdom.
The only real change that is happening with him is his slow but steady mental and physical decline due to his alcohol and nicotine addiction.
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I have to admit, I joined the Farms primarily due to my interest in Boogie and Ethan Ralph, so I am not in the know of a lot of other lolcows, especially those that are a little more under the radar like Cobes and Cyrax.

But I love discovering lolcows I haven't known yet, and thats what I really appreciates about KF.
 
squirrely dan said:
Thank you very much toobz. The channel had me at "Glitter Bomb Compilation", I will check this out in the coming days.
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Enjoy the hours long, professionally done documentaries on literally every segment of this man's life starting at his birth from Home Mom's stankhole.
 
Al Dente Alighieri said:
Admitting that Limp Bizkit is, in fact, the shit is part of growing up. It is a pivotal moment in an adult man’s life and I will be proud of you when you get to that moment.
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I am afraid you are horribly mistaken sir.

The only suitable resolution for this situation is for you to join Fred Durst on a chain gang to lay railroad in punishment for the determined and repeated crimes against music.

However, as a special dispensation, Korn will be dispatched on sundays to sing “All in the family” at Fred.
 
Bit of shameless self-promotion but I've made a FAQ section on the Boglimpedia. Hopefully we can put some of the unfunny thought loops to rest.
It also features:

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