The quote by Anais Nin comes to mind
'We see things not as they are but as we are'
applies more than ever in the aspie world, since they are unable to see from any other perspective than their own, rigid and deeply skewed view.
I don't want to knock any confidence they may have but their continuous misunderstanding of social queues is going to keep them running in circles, making the same mistakes misreading the true sentiments of their intended paramours.
I hate to see them so lost & upset when their efforts are thwarted and think it's due to some random made-up reason rather than reality.
Prime example is the false bravado of 'I made a girl laugh'. It is lost on them that the girls aren't laughing like they are witty or funny -but are just being polite with an uncomfortable approach forced on them. Getting hit on by strangers in a public setting is something many of us loathe & try to avoid giving an opportunity, i.e. avoiding eye contact, rushing out of class or the area when you see them lurking, pretend to be on your phone, etc. Of course, all of that is lost on them and they keep trying to chase them down or get them alone to spring on the date quest, maximizing the creep level. Worse is the customer service girl who is cornered & has to deal with it. It gets easier but is uncomfortable nonetheless.
Alas, it really is tough for these guys who are so so dry and literal and completely void of any wit or humor to understand this. How they think they are funny & legit make girls laugh when they have not a lick of a sense of humor nor comprehend sarcasm. Funny people are quick witted and wit requires a high intellect as well as an innate knack for timing. Quickly surveying a situation, seeing the irony or absurdity and then forming & articulating a sardonic quip is a talent that you either have or don't but requires a certain level of intelligence that aspies simply don't typically have with their literal & one sided, one dimensional perspective.
Yes girls love guys that make them laugh. But awkward dead air filler snickers is NOT laughing!!! Nor enjoyable in any shape or form for a girl. But it is a sure way to get turned down.
Since these guys have no wit or humor, they need to cultivate other assets to use in approaches because that one is never going to work. And falsely convincing themselves that girls dig their comedic abilities is not doing them any favors to be delusioned.
'We see things not as they are but as we are'
applies more than ever in the aspie world, since they are unable to see from any other perspective than their own, rigid and deeply skewed view.
I don't want to knock any confidence they may have but their continuous misunderstanding of social queues is going to keep them running in circles, making the same mistakes misreading the true sentiments of their intended paramours.
I hate to see them so lost & upset when their efforts are thwarted and think it's due to some random made-up reason rather than reality.
Prime example is the false bravado of 'I made a girl laugh'. It is lost on them that the girls aren't laughing like they are witty or funny -but are just being polite with an uncomfortable approach forced on them. Getting hit on by strangers in a public setting is something many of us loathe & try to avoid giving an opportunity, i.e. avoiding eye contact, rushing out of class or the area when you see them lurking, pretend to be on your phone, etc. Of course, all of that is lost on them and they keep trying to chase them down or get them alone to spring on the date quest, maximizing the creep level. Worse is the customer service girl who is cornered & has to deal with it. It gets easier but is uncomfortable nonetheless.
Alas, it really is tough for these guys who are so so dry and literal and completely void of any wit or humor to understand this. How they think they are funny & legit make girls laugh when they have not a lick of a sense of humor nor comprehend sarcasm. Funny people are quick witted and wit requires a high intellect as well as an innate knack for timing. Quickly surveying a situation, seeing the irony or absurdity and then forming & articulating a sardonic quip is a talent that you either have or don't but requires a certain level of intelligence that aspies simply don't typically have with their literal & one sided, one dimensional perspective.
Yes girls love guys that make them laugh. But awkward dead air filler snickers is NOT laughing!!! Nor enjoyable in any shape or form for a girl. But it is a sure way to get turned down.
Since these guys have no wit or humor, they need to cultivate other assets to use in approaches because that one is never going to work. And falsely convincing themselves that girls dig their comedic abilities is not doing them any favors to be delusioned.
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