Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

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Guess Kat's weight.

  • >200 lbs.

    Votes: 22 3.5%

  • 200 lbs.-250 lbs.

    Votes: 125 20.0%

  • 250 lbs.- 300 lbs.

    Votes: 110 17.6%

  • Damn that's a huge bitch.

    Votes: 369 58.9%
  • Total voters
    626
Bad news everyone.
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Calm down, guys.

Jenna quits being a prostitute all the time. The first guy with a box of cheesy bread and $20 will change her mind.
 
PenskeMaterial said:
I genuinely hope she turns her life around. Her odds are better than Dave's.
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I do too. She and her sister had a very tough upbringing. I feel bad for both. I hope they can become the people they want to be.

Phil was born into a comfortable life with no struggle. He was just an asshole then. Now he’s just an asshole with gout.
 
Keith the Horse Fucker said:
I do too. She and her sister had a very tough upbringing. I feel bad for both. I hope they can become the people they want to be.

Phil was born into a comfortable life with no struggle. He was just an asshole then. Now he’s just an asshole with gout.
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Jenna, I can see it. Kat, no. She cheated on a working man for a living arrangement with Phil Burnell, and knew all about him. She made her hay, now lie in it.
 
BPD Gunt Rider said:
Jenna, I can see it. Kat, no. She cheated on a working man for a living arrangement with Phil Burnell, and knew all about him. She made her hay, now lie in it.
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Subaru Man may have been physically abusive. I know that comes from an unreliable narrator, but it fits the MO. Broken people tend to find abusive partners.
 
Keith the Horse Fucker said:
I do too. She and her sister had a very tough upbringing. I feel bad for both. I hope they can become the people they want to be.
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BPD Gunt Rider said:
Jenna, I can see it. Kat, no. She cheated on a working man for a living arrangement with Phil Burnell, and knew all about him. She made her hay, now lie in it.
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Meh, I think it's clear Kat had a rough upbringing too, to be fair. My bigger issue with Keith's statement pertains to the two sisters' adulthoods.

For as much as we all joke about how horrible it must be to live with the Piggy, Kat's current arrangement with Phil, as many here have pointed out from time to time, is actually probably pretty good living from her vantage point. Think about it: she only needs to work part time, leaving her with the rest of her time to play Skyrim. And since her necessities taken care of by Phil's "generous wallet," the money she earns is presumably hers to spend as she wishes. And all she needs to do in return is say "Hi" to Phil from time to time.

Then there's Jenna. While I haven't really followed her in recent months, as of when I last tuned in she was a drug-addicted hooker who was chronically homeless...
 
An1337 did a stream covering part 1 of DSP's Christmas specials last week. In one of them, PandaLee and Phil were setting up a Christmas tree. Phil spent like 80% of the stream whining about the detractors (that's pretty much what Christmas specials devolved into after the first or second special), but when Leanna finally got him to stop talking about the trolls, you could tell that Phil and her had some chemistry. Meanwhile, it seems like Kat is all around awful and a complete downgrade. That's gotta be a completely loveless marriage.
 
Cucktry Roads said:
An1337 did a stream covering part 1 of DSP's Christmas specials last week. In one of them, PandaLee and Phil were setting up a Christmas tree. Phil spent like 80% of the stream whining about the detractors (that's pretty much what Christmas specials devolved into after the first or second special), but when Leanna finally got him to stop talking about the trolls, you could tell that Phil and her had some chemistry. Meanwhile, it seems like Kat is all around awful and a complete downgrade. That's gotta be a completely loveless marriage.
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Yes but Leanna presumably challenged Philburt to grow or develop as a person in certain ways, and that really isn't his style.
He's much more of a "Run in a straight line with your head down until you hit a wall, then continue to run into the wall over and over while raging about how it won't move for you, then consider going around and be mad about it the whole time. Repeat."

Meanwhile Kat shares Phil's desire to do the absolute bare minimum as a human being on their path towards the grave, which is what makes them a good match.
 
Cucktry Roads said:
An1337 did a stream covering part 1 of DSP's Christmas specials last week. In one of them, PandaLee and Phil were setting up a Christmas tree. Phil spent like 80% of the stream whining about the detractors (that's pretty much what Christmas specials devolved into after the first or second special), but when Leanna finally got him to stop talking about the trolls, you could tell that Phil and her had some chemistry. Meanwhile, it seems like Kat is all around awful and a complete downgrade. That's gotta be a completely loveless marriage.
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So what you're saying is Khet and Phil are made for eachother then. Two estranged exes probably have better chemistry than they do.
 
Cucktry Roads said:
An1337 did a stream covering part 1 of DSP's Christmas specials last week. In one of them, PandaLee and Phil were setting up a Christmas tree. Phil spent like 80% of the stream whining about the detractors (that's pretty much what Christmas specials devolved into after the first or second special), but when Leanna finally got him to stop talking about the trolls, you could tell that Phil and her had some chemistry. Meanwhile, it seems like Kat is all around awful and a complete downgrade. That's gotta be a completely loveless marriage.
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Imagine having a 20 year gf with a solid C cup, who’s out of your league. A girlfriend who shares some of your nerdy interests, for some reason wants to have sex with you, and thinks there’s nothing better than spending the holidays nesting and decorating your house.

But now imagine that you’re DSP, and all that must take the backseat, because some people left mean comments on your YouTube videos.

Ffs.

Khat isn’t just a downgrade, it’s more like replacing your BMW with a fat horse that makes you pull it around.

Corpun said:
So what you're saying is Khet and Phil are made for eachother then. Two estranged exes probably have better chemistry than they do.
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Sometimes I don’t know who I should feel bad for.

Phil, who has to sit there and watch his fat horse scarf down an entire streams worth of tips in a few minutes at the sushi restaurant.

Or Khat, who has to watch Phil come waddling in every evening, and give her a personal “daily wrap” while getting soused in gin, when all she wants is to play Skyrim ALONE and eat some chocolate.
 
Corpun said:
So what you're saying is Khet and Phil are made for eachother then. Two estranged exes probably have better chemistry than they do.
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You know what? Despite having zero romantic chemistry Khet and Phil really are perfectly made for eachother. Both are undiagnosed autistics, both are shut ins with no desire for the outside world, both are friendless and antisocial, both love consuming huge quantities of garbage pop culture and both love gorging on fast food. In a way it really is the kind of perfect unity. Both gets what they want. I believe the term for what they have in biology is mutualism. Phil gets a mom wife who can wash his clothes and be proof to his parents he's mature adult and Kat gets a roof over her head and free food. Everybody wins.
 
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