Kamala Harris is one of the worst people ever to attain national office, and since this seems to be the week that the mainstream press is turning on her, it seems like a great time to start a megathread.
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Kamala Harris Megathread - Let's hear it for our lovely and gracious Vice President!
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Kamala Harris is one of the worst people ever to attain national office, and since this seems to be the week that the mainstream press is turning on her, it seems like a great time to start a megathread.
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2023
Original | ThreadReader cache
****WORLD EXCLUSIVE****
Shortly after Kamala Harris announced a new book about her amazing campaign for the presidency, a source gave me a copy of many pages from the galleys of the tome.
Over the next few days, I will be publishing here chapters from the book, which is due out September 23, and then the full outline.
In homage to Hunter S. Thompson, I will roll the chapters out serially, over time.
MANDATORY CREDIT: MARK HALPERIN’S WIDE WORLD OF NEWS CONCIERGE COVERAGE NEWSLETTER”
Chapter 1: The Elevator
There are 43 buttons in the West Wing elevator. I counted them three times on the morning I decided to run. Forty-three gleaming plastic squares, each one a portal to a sub-basement full of secrets, regrets, or fluorescent lights. I pressed “G” for “Gulag”—what we called the press office when the polling dropped below 39%.
It was 6:12 a.m., and someone had already spilled cold brew on the nuclear football. Not metaphorically—the actual briefcase. My Chief of Staff looked me dead in the eyes and said, “We’ll have to replace the football.” I asked if we could just tell people it had transitioned. She didn’t laugh.
⸻
The decision to run for President wasn’t so much a decision as a medical event. A thrombosis of ambition. A blood clot of destiny. One moment I was pacing in the Roosevelt Room practicing my “sincerely amused” laugh for a TikTok Q&A about mental health apps, and the next I was speaking in tongues to the ghost of Walter Mondale.
Joe had vanished. Not died. Not resigned. Just… slipped into a pocket universe somewhere between Scranton and senility. They found his shoes in the Rose Garden. Still tied. No footprints. Just a pile of Werther’s wrappers and an open classified folder labeled “VERY SENSITIVE – NO JOKES.” The Secret Service filed a missing person’s report, and the Democratic National Committee filed a lawsuit against reality.
It fell to me.
⸻
People think power feels like flying. It doesn’t. It feels like vomiting. But very privately. Into a platinum toilet you didn’t ask for, in a bathroom so large you can’t find the sink.
I had 107 days.
One hundred and seven chances to impersonate lucidity.
I learned that the line between “Commander-in-Chief” and “celebrity mental breakdown” is thinner than a CNN chyron. One morning I woke up convinced I was Angela Bassett. Another, I tried to ban time zones. For “equity.”
Ron Klain texted me the peach emoji. No explanation. Twice. I still don’t know what it means. But it haunts me.
⸻
My campaign manager, Julio—26, polyamorous, identifies as a sentient art installation—told me our strategy was “vibe-forward.” I asked what that meant.
He said, “We’re running on mood, not message.” I nodded solemnly, then spent four hours Googling “mood-based governance.”
In our first week, we lost Montana. Not the primary—the state. It seceded to join the European Union. Ursula von der Leyen personally welcomed them.
By Day 10, my approval rating was listed on Zillow.
⸻
And yet, I kept going. Because every time I closed my eyes, I saw her.
Hillary.
Hovering like a thundercloud with a headband.
She whispered, “Win or die, bitch.”
And then she vanished in a puff of expired Chardonnay.
⸻
This is not a story of triumph. It is a story of motion sickness. Of beige hotel rooms and interns named Kai. Of crying on hot mics and clapping for things you hate.
It’s the story of a woman asked to save a country that couldn’t remember her job title.
This is 107 Days.
Hold your applause. You’ll need both hands to cover your face.
----
It was a Friday. Always is. The kind of Friday where you open your inbox and know, instinctively, that democracy has thrown up in its mouth.
I was Vice President of the United States, a title I wore like an inherited sweater—too big, slightly itchy, tolerated for family photos. I had spent three and a half years giving speeches that nobody watched, cutting ribbons at EV charging stations, and explaining to foreign dignitaries what exactly it was I did.
The President of Guatemala once asked me, deadpan, “Do you run anything?”
I smiled.
But now, suddenly, I did.
---
The elevator was empty when I stepped in, which felt like a metaphor even at the time. My phone buzzed. Julio, my campaign manager, again. I ignored it. The elevator doors shut with a soft sigh. I pressed “G.” It did not move.
CNN was playing on the little screen above the floor indicator. No sound, just a chyron:
**BREAKING: Biden to Address Nation, Speculation Mounts Over Reelection Plans**
The photo they used of him was old. Too old. From the first campaign. His eyes still had outlines then. Back when we all thought this was temporary. A one-term bridge to… something. We just hadn’t agreed on what.
Julio texted again:
*He’s doing it. Today. 3PM. He’s out.*
I stared at the screen. The chyron changed.
**Kamala Harris Seen as Frontrunner—But Does She Have the Juice?**
---
The thing is, we’d known this was coming. Of course we had. Biden was 82. He had more stumbles than statements by that point. Aides began pre-writing his speeches using algorithms trained on his 2008 soundbites. He gave the same anecdote about Amtrak 11 times in one month.
But knowing something is coming doesn’t mean you’re ready for it. You don’t prep for the Titanic to hit the iceberg. You just dress nice and pretend the champagne isn’t warm.
The real moment wasn’t the announcement. It was the silence afterward.
---
At 3:06 PM, Biden stepped up to the podium, flanked by Jill and the ghost of Democratic viability. His voice shook slightly. “I have decided not to seek a second term,” he said. “Not because I can’t win—but because I shouldn't.”
I’ll say this for the man: he always knew how to lie with grace.
By 3:09, MSNBC was already running retrospectives. By 3:11, the Atlantic had published a piece titled *“The Kamala Moment?”*—note the question mark.
By 3:13, my phone had 94 texts. Most were from people saying some version of “you’ve got this,” which is what people say when they’re terrified you don’t.
By 3:30, Julio had arrived at my office. He brought cold brew and a Google Doc labeled “POTUS 2025 — Messaging Reset.”
“Madam Vice President,” he said, “you are now the presumptive nominee of the Democratic Party.”
I looked up from my desk and said, “Jesus Christ.”
“Yeah,” he replied. “That’s trending too.”
---
You’d think there’d be a process. A meeting. A ritual. There wasn’t. Just a void that needed filling and a party too scared to say the other names out loud. Newsom had too much hair. Whitmer too much Michigan. Pete too much Pete. Nobody wanted to run. Nobody wanted to lose. So they said, “It’s Kamala’s turn.” Like this was a fucking DMV line.
And I did what you do in this town when handed a disaster wrapped in a résumé boost.
I smiled.
I nodded.
And I said, “Let’s get to work.”
---
Work, as it turned out, meant sitting in the Situation Room 36 hours later trying to pronounce “Houthi” while aides explained how many aircraft carriers we had left in the region. Spoiler: fewer than we needed. More than we could afford.
I was briefed on the economy, which was technically “stable,” in the way that a man on fire is technically alive.
I gave a press conference. I thanked the President. I said “honored” six times. I did not say “inevitable,” but I saw it reflected in every journalist’s eyes like a dare.
---
That night, I went back to the Vice President’s residence and sat in the dark for a long time. My husband brought me tea. I didn’t drink it. CNN was still on. Now the chyron read:
**Harris Launches Campaign: “America Is Ready”**
I hadn’t said that. Not those exact words. But it didn’t matter.
The campaign had begun.
The trap had sprung.
And I was now the headline on a machine that needed feeding.
---
At midnight, I opened Twitter.
The top trending topic was **#PresidentKamala.**
Right below it?
**#GoodLuckWithThat.**
To be continued....
****WORLD EXCLUSIVE****
Shortly after Kamala Harris announced a new book about her amazing campaign for the presidency, a source gave me a copy of many pages from the galleys of the tome.
Over the next few days, I will be publishing here chapters from the book, which is due out September 23, and then the full outline.
In homage to Hunter S. Thompson, I will roll the chapters out serially, over time.
MANDATORY CREDIT: MARK HALPERIN’S WIDE WORLD OF NEWS CONCIERGE COVERAGE NEWSLETTER”
Chapter 1: The Elevator
There are 43 buttons in the West Wing elevator. I counted them three times on the morning I decided to run. Forty-three gleaming plastic squares, each one a portal to a sub-basement full of secrets, regrets, or fluorescent lights. I pressed “G” for “Gulag”—what we called the press office when the polling dropped below 39%.
It was 6:12 a.m., and someone had already spilled cold brew on the nuclear football. Not metaphorically—the actual briefcase. My Chief of Staff looked me dead in the eyes and said, “We’ll have to replace the football.” I asked if we could just tell people it had transitioned. She didn’t laugh.
⸻
The decision to run for President wasn’t so much a decision as a medical event. A thrombosis of ambition. A blood clot of destiny. One moment I was pacing in the Roosevelt Room practicing my “sincerely amused” laugh for a TikTok Q&A about mental health apps, and the next I was speaking in tongues to the ghost of Walter Mondale.
Joe had vanished. Not died. Not resigned. Just… slipped into a pocket universe somewhere between Scranton and senility. They found his shoes in the Rose Garden. Still tied. No footprints. Just a pile of Werther’s wrappers and an open classified folder labeled “VERY SENSITIVE – NO JOKES.” The Secret Service filed a missing person’s report, and the Democratic National Committee filed a lawsuit against reality.
It fell to me.
⸻
People think power feels like flying. It doesn’t. It feels like vomiting. But very privately. Into a platinum toilet you didn’t ask for, in a bathroom so large you can’t find the sink.
I had 107 days.
One hundred and seven chances to impersonate lucidity.
I learned that the line between “Commander-in-Chief” and “celebrity mental breakdown” is thinner than a CNN chyron. One morning I woke up convinced I was Angela Bassett. Another, I tried to ban time zones. For “equity.”
Ron Klain texted me the peach emoji. No explanation. Twice. I still don’t know what it means. But it haunts me.
⸻
My campaign manager, Julio—26, polyamorous, identifies as a sentient art installation—told me our strategy was “vibe-forward.” I asked what that meant.
He said, “We’re running on mood, not message.” I nodded solemnly, then spent four hours Googling “mood-based governance.”
In our first week, we lost Montana. Not the primary—the state. It seceded to join the European Union. Ursula von der Leyen personally welcomed them.
By Day 10, my approval rating was listed on Zillow.
⸻
And yet, I kept going. Because every time I closed my eyes, I saw her.
Hillary.
Hovering like a thundercloud with a headband.
She whispered, “Win or die, bitch.”
And then she vanished in a puff of expired Chardonnay.
⸻
This is not a story of triumph. It is a story of motion sickness. Of beige hotel rooms and interns named Kai. Of crying on hot mics and clapping for things you hate.
It’s the story of a woman asked to save a country that couldn’t remember her job title.
This is 107 Days.
Hold your applause. You’ll need both hands to cover your face.
----
It was a Friday. Always is. The kind of Friday where you open your inbox and know, instinctively, that democracy has thrown up in its mouth.
I was Vice President of the United States, a title I wore like an inherited sweater—too big, slightly itchy, tolerated for family photos. I had spent three and a half years giving speeches that nobody watched, cutting ribbons at EV charging stations, and explaining to foreign dignitaries what exactly it was I did.
The President of Guatemala once asked me, deadpan, “Do you run anything?”
I smiled.
But now, suddenly, I did.
---
The elevator was empty when I stepped in, which felt like a metaphor even at the time. My phone buzzed. Julio, my campaign manager, again. I ignored it. The elevator doors shut with a soft sigh. I pressed “G.” It did not move.
CNN was playing on the little screen above the floor indicator. No sound, just a chyron:
**BREAKING: Biden to Address Nation, Speculation Mounts Over Reelection Plans**
The photo they used of him was old. Too old. From the first campaign. His eyes still had outlines then. Back when we all thought this was temporary. A one-term bridge to… something. We just hadn’t agreed on what.
Julio texted again:
*He’s doing it. Today. 3PM. He’s out.*
I stared at the screen. The chyron changed.
**Kamala Harris Seen as Frontrunner—But Does She Have the Juice?**
---
The thing is, we’d known this was coming. Of course we had. Biden was 82. He had more stumbles than statements by that point. Aides began pre-writing his speeches using algorithms trained on his 2008 soundbites. He gave the same anecdote about Amtrak 11 times in one month.
But knowing something is coming doesn’t mean you’re ready for it. You don’t prep for the Titanic to hit the iceberg. You just dress nice and pretend the champagne isn’t warm.
The real moment wasn’t the announcement. It was the silence afterward.
---
At 3:06 PM, Biden stepped up to the podium, flanked by Jill and the ghost of Democratic viability. His voice shook slightly. “I have decided not to seek a second term,” he said. “Not because I can’t win—but because I shouldn't.”
I’ll say this for the man: he always knew how to lie with grace.
By 3:09, MSNBC was already running retrospectives. By 3:11, the Atlantic had published a piece titled *“The Kamala Moment?”*—note the question mark.
By 3:13, my phone had 94 texts. Most were from people saying some version of “you’ve got this,” which is what people say when they’re terrified you don’t.
By 3:30, Julio had arrived at my office. He brought cold brew and a Google Doc labeled “POTUS 2025 — Messaging Reset.”
“Madam Vice President,” he said, “you are now the presumptive nominee of the Democratic Party.”
I looked up from my desk and said, “Jesus Christ.”
“Yeah,” he replied. “That’s trending too.”
---
You’d think there’d be a process. A meeting. A ritual. There wasn’t. Just a void that needed filling and a party too scared to say the other names out loud. Newsom had too much hair. Whitmer too much Michigan. Pete too much Pete. Nobody wanted to run. Nobody wanted to lose. So they said, “It’s Kamala’s turn.” Like this was a fucking DMV line.
And I did what you do in this town when handed a disaster wrapped in a résumé boost.
I smiled.
I nodded.
And I said, “Let’s get to work.”
---
Work, as it turned out, meant sitting in the Situation Room 36 hours later trying to pronounce “Houthi” while aides explained how many aircraft carriers we had left in the region. Spoiler: fewer than we needed. More than we could afford.
I was briefed on the economy, which was technically “stable,” in the way that a man on fire is technically alive.
I gave a press conference. I thanked the President. I said “honored” six times. I did not say “inevitable,” but I saw it reflected in every journalist’s eyes like a dare.
---
That night, I went back to the Vice President’s residence and sat in the dark for a long time. My husband brought me tea. I didn’t drink it. CNN was still on. Now the chyron read:
**Harris Launches Campaign: “America Is Ready”**
I hadn’t said that. Not those exact words. But it didn’t matter.
The campaign had begun.
The trap had sprung.
And I was now the headline on a machine that needed feeding.
---
At midnight, I opened Twitter.
The top trending topic was **#PresidentKamala.**
Right below it?
**#GoodLuckWithThat.**
To be continued....
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2013
The only thing faker than Kamala's "joy" is whatever Kamala's going to say in that book about her disaster of a campaign.
She's probably going to use this to make the case that if she only had more time then she'd have won. Problem is no one buys it, that's the cope they fed her and the biggest retards/loyalists. Also the Bidens have made it very clear they'll bury her if she ever comes out against their administration. With no one willing to bankroll her for the governor race, she's probably done.
She's probably going to use this to make the case that if she only had more time then she'd have won. Problem is no one buys it, that's the cope they fed her and the biggest retards/loyalists. Also the Bidens have made it very clear they'll bury her if she ever comes out against their administration. With no one willing to bankroll her for the governor race, she's probably done.
Sneed's Feed n Seed
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2024
Why is every shitlib saying "Joy" always delusional, retarded, a tranny, or some mix?
Morethanabitfoolish
Sick of politics, time to join the anime posters.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 14, 2021
I suspect she's holding out hopes of a presidential bid and when it comes to opposing Newsom the obvious way to do so is to point at California and ask if anyone wants that country-wide.
Super-Chevy454
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2018
Looks like Kamala's book will collect some dust in the stands. How long before they'll drop the prices of her book?
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2020
She can't do that, she's from there and lead the charge on the worst of it. She's going to bitch and moan and be a 'Lindsey Ellis' style top seller, all figures astroturfed to hell.
And she also had that funny thing Hillary did, that the more she was seen the more her ratings fell. Biden had that too, which is why he was barely seen in 2020. The whole democrat party is a ridiculous shamble. None of them are relatable or charismatic and haven't been since Obama used to be, and even he looked miserable and sullen this last go.
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2019
There's a house in my neighborhood that has a DON'T BE WEIRD sign along with a Harris/Walz sign. Yes, still.
It's also got a pagan bullshit sign and a COEXIST religious sign (you know the one) and the sodomite pride flag that has the black and brown stripes on it.
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2015
Following up on the book, Kamala announced that she will do a tour about the book in several cities. / Archive
Not surprisingly, people mocked her for that idea too:
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2015
And to no surprise, Kamala's fundraising attempts to try to pay off DNC debt have been a flop. / Archive
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2020
unlikeable cunt continues to be an unlikeable cunt, more at 11
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2015
Cheezer
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2025
You know, something that amazes me is how little anyone gives a shit about her. The woman was VP for four years and the Democratic candidate in the 2024 presidential election...and her thread has all of 30 fucking pages. And the majority of those pages are when she became VP and during her brief election campaign. There wasn't even any gloating after she lost, she was already forgotten in favor of the incoming administration and the shady shit Biden's handers were doing. What an utter joke of a woman.
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- Joined
- Jan 25, 2022
Why would people give a shit about her? Once she became VP she hid from the public more than Biden did and if someone did talk about her it was in contrast to Trump. She has no presence of her own and I am surprised her thread even got past three pages, let alone 30.
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2013
I'm surprised they still have her doing any small donor events but I suppose she still has some ambition. This book is likely going to be part of an attempt to rehab her, putting the blame on the short time frame she had to work with as a candidate while also scrambling to avoid blaming Joe Biden since his team have been VERY public that they're going "Sarah Palin" her if she tries it.
Then again, Tim fucking Walz is still mincing about but at least he has the excuse of being buddies with the DNC chair.
To no one's surprise, Dems are trying to make this an issue but no one is able to answer how Kamala got a year extension on the security detail from Biden. They really should shut the fuck up about anything that draws attention to the big question of "who was puppeting Biden's corpse for four years" but it keeps happening.
Early on in the Biden administration, they tried putting her out there because everyone running things knew Joe wasn't supposed to be doing anything. That ended after her disastrous handling of (very friendly) media appearances regarding border security and whatever happened in her visit to the Ukraine before the conflict. At that point, they gave up on what probably was that conspiracy theory floating around about how Joe was going to step down mid-Presidency and give us a decade of Kamala.
Only reason they ran her against Trump was because their hands were tied by fundraising rules and the Black Caucus were threatening open rebellion if she got passed over.
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2016
For the longest while, I was under the impression the dumb cunt uttered the "What can be, unburdened by what has been" salad phrase only once.
but nope! she is moronically fixated with it and her hundreds of handlers apparently didn't care to tell her how idiotic it sounded.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1580750936117183&rdid=cMzrh47bW6TFsRXq
All the billions of corporate welfare spent on propping Cuntmala apparently couldn't fix her quirky animatronic limbs.
but nope! she is moronically fixated with it and her hundreds of handlers apparently didn't care to tell her how idiotic it sounded.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1580750936117183&rdid=cMzrh47bW6TFsRXq
All the billions of corporate welfare spent on propping Cuntmala apparently couldn't fix her quirky animatronic limbs.
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2013
Time to see if there's any bite to Team Biden's bark. Seems like Kamala is going to try and use this as career rehab.
In the meantime, the excerpts are hysterical. "They blamed me, the 'Border Czar', for border security being nonexistent! I was still investigating the root causes!" is pretty good, but her trying to say she delivered a speech "too well" is some next level cope.
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2020
>"My success was important to him."
BITCH WHAT FUCKING SUCCESS? YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET BLACK KIDS - YOU KNOW - THE PEOPLE THAT YOU CLAIM TO IDENTIFY WITH THE MOST - TO PRETEND TO LIKE YOU.
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2013
I can't wait to see what she tries to peddle as her career highlights as VP. If she's trying to claim any degree of proficiency as a public speaker then she's up for lying about anything in there.
She needs the narrative more than the money. Part of what made the CA governor candidacy untenable for her is no one wants to give her money after 2024. If she can convince the donors and successfully scapegoat Biden, her career isn't dead in the water.
It's an uphill fight for 2028 given that the establishment has shown their hand on Newsom being the guy between the machine trying to push him to progressives and their sycophants like George Clooney urging other candidates like Wes Moore to not make a run due to Newsom being about Hillary levels of incapable of handling challenges. Not impossible because I think she's still got some sympathy with the Black Caucus and they're going to hate any candidate that's white.
EDIT: OH MY GOD THIS MIGHT BE THE BEST EXCERPT
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