🐮 Lolcow Johan von Hellsten / avillemedia - Autistic Creator of A-Ville (his answer to CWCville) who Likes to Collect Lolcows and Hates KF

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Alan Pardew said:
The Secret Kiwi Cult

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How do we drink the tea if we have no hole for the mouth, this broke my immersion
 
Ambivalenz said:
By now it´s seems rather safe to assume that when we talk about "Johan von Hellsten" we have to talk about Iconoclast as well. Now I´m not familiar with him at all, but a fast crash course via his thread and ED. First, JvH made Iconoclast fan art, second he seems to have a special hateboner for Dr. Merkwurdichliebe for being called gay.

Interesting enough, Iconoclast made a comment as a rebuttal on Aug 7 last year:

These people show a phenomenal inability to think for themselves, blithely believing in anything anyone tells them that furthers their diseased agenda, despite any and all evidence to the contrary. I think one of two things is happening: (a) Doctor Merkwurdichliebe is fabricating these "sources" of his, which means he is lying, or (b) his sources, who have their own secret agenda, are lying to him, and he believes them without question... which means he's just stupid. I say ol' Doc Murky should be challenged by the mods at OTF to produce the names of his sources immediately, or else cease his vile and destructive campaign against me. He makes the whole place look bad by distributing unsubstantiated and outright incorrect or falsified information, and I would suggest he be banned from the forum. By protecting this guy they only make themselves look bad and open themselves up to a world of legal problems. I don't know why they keep defending this cretin, this frigtard, this dishonest Deutschland douchebag, this little sour kraut, this massive albatross around their necks. What do they get out of it? He'll only drag them down into the gutter with him if they don't cut him loose.
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Sorry that I'm late to this party.

I mentioned that "Johan von Hellsten" was gay for two reasons: (1) He wrote a piece of bizarre fiction -- subsequently scrubbed from the internet -- in which a character named Johan von Hellsten expresses lustful desires for another male character. (2) Iconoclast hates gays, and I knew it would irritate him if I pointed out that his only fan is gay.

I will, however, concede that it is possible that Johan von Hellsten's expression of libidinous desire for a man was nothing more than an unfortunate consequence of the author's inability to write so much as two consecutive words that make any sense in English, which may not be his native language.

If Johan von Hellsten is not gay, what are the chances that he's black? Iconoclast hates black people even more than he hates gays.
 
Dr. Merkwurdichliebe said:
Sorry that I'm late to this party.

I mentioned that "Johan von Hellsten" was gay for two reasons: (1) He wrote a piece of bizarre fiction -- subsequently scrubbed from the internet -- in which a character named Johan von Hellsten expresses lustful desires for another male character. (2) Iconoclast hates gays, and I knew it would irritate him if I pointed out that his only fan is gay.

I will, however, concede that it is possible that Johan von Hellsten's expression of libidinous desire for a man was nothing more than an unfortunate consequence of the author's inability to write so much as two consecutive words that make any sense in English, which may not be his native language.
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Indeed. Oddly enough he indirectly confirmed on Twitter he plagiarized the text with the "Johann Hellsten" character, which in itself was already an obscure fan fiction piece.

I have no opinion about his sexual desires or preferences but he is interesting to observe how any mention of him being gay riles him up.

Dr. Merkwurdichliebe said:
If Johan von Hellsten is not gay, what are the chances that he's black? Iconoclast hates black people even more than he hates gays.
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I´d argue the probability is there but rather unlikely. He said he is somewher near Scandinavia, so my guess is in the region of The Netherlands/Belgium/Germany, and English is most definitely not his first language plus he seems to me rather youngish. Autism goes without saying.

I had some hopes he will grow out of this nonsense, but he seems to be gotten worse lately and he is on his way to cross the point of no return into full star lolcowdom.

For a short while I made an "Ambivalenzzia" Twitter account, and JvH was following me within the hour, even at this time I did absolutely nothing with it. The only direct link was the similar username, and that I was following some Kiwis. I found this amusing. He reads his thread and looks over Kiwi twitter accounts, and if I´m not completely in the wrong he will react to those latest comments as well, as he did previously.
 
Looks like the power of Jace :jace: managed to go through his head now:

http://archive.is/uKrEn
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Our hero must stop the evil plans of the terrorists before the building will 9/11 !
But there's not much time left! Truly a crucial danger situation.
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Wonder why...

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I just looked up "ångtryck" on Wiktionary. It's Swedish for "vapor pressure." Johan confirmed for Swede?
 
trombonista said:
I just looked up "ångtryck" on Wiktionary. It's Swedish for "vapor pressure." Johan confirmed for Swede?
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Maybe. He does have a huge boner for Sweden, more so than for Scandinavia in general. It is possible that his claims of living near Scandinavia were BS to murky the waters.

My dear @Dr. Merkwurdichliebe , our gay friend Johan showed you the error of your ways. Now repent and sin no more.

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For a self-declared "anti cyberbullying activist" he´s quite the bully himself. Mocking #Trigglypuff, tsts. That´s not nice, Johan!
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Lorento said:
"Before the building will 9/11."

Oh dear god.
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That entire description is great. That picture and its description come off as hilarious parody but since this guy cant English and is autistic I cant tell if he was serious or not.
 
Ambivalenz said:
Maybe. He does have a huge boner for Sweden, more so than for Scandinavia in general. It is possible that his claims of living near Scandinavia were BS to murky the waters.

My dear @Dr. Merkwurdichliebe , our gay friend Johan showed you the error of your ways. Now repent and sin no more.

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I see that von Hellsten is using one of Iconoclast's nicknames for me. Makes me wonder if the two of them are planning a romantic rendezvous this summer. Maybe a week at the enchanting Asperger Springs in the Ozarks.

I apologize if that's too A-loggy. Just speculating about this unusual friendship between a 40-year-old racist, redneck convict -- with some novel ideas about what age constitutes "barely legal" in the statutory-rape sense of the phrase -- and his young European pal.

You have to wonder if von Hellsten's mom knows he's corresponding with a violent convicted criminal in Arkansas.
 
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Alan Pardew said:
http://archive.is/l8jYH

:story:

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How to do good climaxes.

1) Have a villain kidnap the heroes friends
2) The hero confronts the villain.
3) The hero beats the villain in one hit, completely draining the situation of drama and tension?

Aside from the laughable idea that this is his payback for us documenting him, his storytelling legitimately sucks.
 
Necroing this thread for this comic genius.

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And also...

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:story::story::story:

And it gets better. His twitter is just...

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