💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[captkrisma]

I can't even imagine how you fuck up a Yorkshire Pudding, much less a Shepard's or Cottage Pie. These are pretty 101. I don't want him to try anything harder than that. I hope he never attempts Asian cuisine of any sort.

He has already and each time was an incredible disaster. From making General Tso's chicken a non-newtonian paste, to making Pho in such a way that it overcooked the noodles and left the beef raw (which is...the opposite of what Pho is supposed to do) every Asian meal he made was a failure.

 

[salmonellajack]

1200 calorie appetiser. Jesus Christ Jack.

 

[JackDavis]

to making Pho in such a way that it overcooked the noodles and left the beef raw

Nah you got it backwards. Putting raw beef on top of pho noodles then pouring the boiling hot broth on top of it to cook it isn't just acceptable, it's awesome. The noodles were undercooked like shit. He took dry noodles and just soaked them in water instead of boiling them, they were undercooked and crunchy as fuck. In the next pho video he made, he didn't even show him cooking the noodles. He just used pad thai noodles, which is for stir frying, not soup.

 

[Aaway]

so jack said the next JOTG video will be filmed inside a restaurant

i guarantee there will be more bitching about the new sanitation procedures than talking about the food itself

 

[Lousy Cleaning Service]

1200 calorie appetiser. Jesus Christ Jack.

I want to catalog all of these app review orders and do a total calorie count. Looking at the nutrition information on Olive Garden shows the majority of dinners above 1000 calories.

I love the line they put on each page of the nutrition info: "2000 calories a day is used for general nutrition advice, but calorie needs vary.".

Jack's ass is eating Olympic swimmer tier intake every day.

 

[AnOminous]

Since Jack claims he gets "a lot of requests", I have one: Jack, could you film yourself putting bread in a toaster?

I want to see that just so I can see how toast somehow ends up raw and bloody and covered in salmonella.

 

[Honzou]

“Just cause we did it in history does not always mean we should do it again. #holocost” —Jack Scalfani

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Edit: @A Big Bumbling Black Man pointed out that it’s #holocost, not #holocaust.

This reminds me of this gem

 

[captkrisma]

so jack said the next JOTG video will be filmed inside a restaurant

i guarantee there will be more bitching about the new sanitation procedures than talking about the food itself

Jack is on a wild tangent thinking restaurants will close every 3 hours to sanitize. He's wrong. Nowhere is forced to close, let alone sanitize any surface. They are asked to sanitize every 2 hours, but they don't have to shutter.

Jack will of course time the taping to right before they open for business, rant about how they were told to wait until they sanitized everything, then show the host staff unlocking the doors...because Jack is a coward and wants to appeal to his boomer friends.

This doesn't matter, however, as Many TN Restaurants Opened for at least three weeks now, with Nashville opening up this week. Why hasn't Jack gone yet? We all know...coward.

 

[Comma]

Junior was pursuing a bowling scholarship. Jack has mentioned it two or three times during his livestreams.

And it appears Jack has retaken control of his Facebook page.

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*runs a "tech" channel*
*needs some lady at church to help him with Facebook*

Jack Scalfani is the boomer of boomers.

 

[introman]

I want to catalog all of these app review orders and do a total calorie count. Looking at the nutrition information on Olive Garden shows the majority of dinners above 1000 calories.

I love the line they put on each page of the nutrition info: "2000 calories a day is used for general nutrition advice, but calorie needs vary.".

Jack's ass is eating Olympic swimmer tier intake every day.

I'll help you out since I'm interested in his gluttony as well. I used the values from myfitness pal, which was almost the same - maybe off by 10-20 calories - yet it was still monstrous.
https://www.myfitnesspal.com/recipe/calculator Great tool for Jack watching.

Spoiler: Belt Bursting

 

[captkrisma]

I'll help you out since I'm interested in his gluttony as well. I used the values from myfitness pal, which was almost the same - maybe off by 10-20 calories - yet it was still monstrous.
https://www.myfitnesspal.com/recipe/calculator Great tool for Jack watching.

Spoiler: Belt Bursting

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Holy shit. My daily intake, as a professional wrestler that works out 5 days a week, is about 600 more calories than Jack's meal.

The sodium alone is nearly double that of what the FDA suggests as a daily amount.

 

[Anal birth]

I can't even imagine how you fuck up a Yorkshire Pudding, much less a Shepard's or Cottage Pie. These are pretty 101. I don't want him to try anything harder than that. I hope he never attempts Asian cuisine of any sort.

Pretty much everything we eat in the UK is near impossible to fuck up. I don't get why he so consistently gets all of our food wrong.

 

[Uncle Meat]

Pretty much everything we eat in the UK is near impossible to fuck up. I don't get why he so consistently gets all of our food wrong.

I was under the impression that a lot of shepherd's pie in the UK was just an excuse to grind up the leftover chips and meat from the previous day(s) and sell them as something else before they go bad. Maybe I'm wrong. I've never been interested in eating something like that.

 

[Adamska]

I was under the impression that a lot of shepherd's pie in the UK was just an excuse to grind up the leftover chips and meat from the previous day(s) and sell them as something else before they go bad. Maybe I'm wrong. I've never been interested in eating something like that.

Partially right; it was a way to use meat you couldn't use for anything but burgers/mince, and then it was a way to introduce potatoes to the English/Scots/Welsh/Irish diet, since they were discovered to be good sources of calories for cheap by this point.

Win-win way of using both.

 

[Aaway]

Pretty much everything we eat in the UK is near impossible to fuck up. I don't get why he so consistently gets all of our food wrong.

he consistently fucks up everything. the guy literally can't do anything correct

i wouldn't take it personally

 

[captkrisma]

Another note: superchats are still up for tomorrow's live chat...

 

[EvilDroid64]

I'll help you out since I'm interested in his gluttony as well. I used the values from myfitness pal, which was almost the same - maybe off by 10-20 calories - yet it was still monstrous.
https://www.myfitnesspal.com/recipe/calculator Great tool for Jack watching.

Spoiler: Belt Bursting

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View attachment 1294051

157 grams of carbs for Jack and 107 for Tammy. Nowhere close to even starting to think about leaning keto.

 

[Aaway]

157 grams of carbs for Jack and 107 for Tammy. Nowhere close to even starting to think about leaning keto.

he hasn't mentioned keto in any of his videos for a little while so i'm thinking he finally gave up trying to lie to his viewers about it

 

[Religion is Dead]

Here you guys go. The mental imagine of Jack Scalfani in his underwear while berating an employee for doing their job.

 

[irishAzoth]

so jack said the next JOTG video will be filmed inside a restaurant

i guarantee there will be more bitching about the new sanitation procedures than talking about the food itself

I can't wait for Jack to get COVID-19 so this thread can dissect his videos to find out when,where and how he got the rona