I've an interview today, got any tips?

[Gangstalker #32194]

 

[Belgians in the Congo]

Keep making Fatrick quotes, that'll get you in.
Enjoy your interview, stalker child.

 

[rel=alternate]

It's a bit late give any advice regarding preparation.

Just be confident. If you know your shit and you are well spoken, there is no reason for it go wrong. If you don't, then there is not much else you can do anyway.

 

[Mr.Miyagi]

Pick a fight with the biggest guy as soon as you arrive, so other people know not to mess with you.

 

[eatler]

Take some speed, that should calm the nerves

 

[The Invisible Man]

Don’t use weird contractions like “I’ve an interview today”. It makes you sound like a faggot. Say “I have an interview today” instead.

 

[No. 7 cat]

If a woman is interviewing start loosening your tie and otherwise hook your thumbs in your belt. Slouch back. A sexually aggressive and impudent interviewee wins.

Seriously, just prep questions and answers according to your industry and general common HR questions. Sketch out examples in advance. Time them. Maybe record yourself with your phone to see if you seem okay in giving your answers.

 

[not william stenchever]

Whip your dick onto the desk first thing to establish dominance.

 

[RACISM]

Remember to show you're a modern and inclusive person by slipping into the conversation at some point "I've always loved niggers".

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

Tell your boss he has a beautiful wife. Then ask if she's DTF. He'll appreciate the compliment secretly.

 

[DankSmoker]

Dress for the job you want, so wear your finest lingerie.

 

[Harvey Danger]

Look them straight in the eye, give them a firm handshake, and tell them to pull themselves up by their boostraps.

 

[Mary the Goldsmith]

do not blink once, blinking shows weakness

 

[Moths]

just bee yourself

 

[Grub]

Don't fuck up.

 

[parsnip]

When you walk into the room with the interviewer, take his seat behind the desk. Bam, now you're interviewing him instead.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

 

[Tablet County]

Man I was just thinking about MST3K's segments on Hired!

Spooky.

 

[polar bear]

Well how did it go then @Gangstalker #32194 ? Exchanged any firm handshakes?

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

I left their hands slick with moisture, and I told them many times how much I loved niggers, I didn't blink, I picked a fight with the receptionist, I kept telling them to enjoy prison but they didn't seem to get the reference, I wore my lizzo sized sexy sleepwear, and I took a lot of speed.

They said they'd call me.