IslamQA.info - Batshit insane Islamic rulings

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While searching for content for this thread, I came across a bunch of out-of-context screencaps taken from the MEMRI TV site. MEMRI TV is a nonprofit organization that translates and distributes Arabic, Persian, Urdu, Pashto, and Turkish media reports. A lot of these translations are fucking gold, and the memes/jokes that people make of them are even better.

I'm sharing them because a lot of them sound like they come from the writers of IslamQA.
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If you guys like these, I can post more.
 
Cosmos said:
While searching for content for this thread, I came across a bunch of out-of-context screencaps taken from the MEMRI TV site. MEMRI TV is a nonprofit organization that translates and distributes Arabic, Persian, Urdu, Pashto, and Turkish media reports. A lot of these translations are fucking gold, and the memes/jokes that people make of them are even better.

I'm sharing them because a lot of them sound like they come from the writers of IslamQA.
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If you guys like these, I can post more.
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You know the fucking rules: ALWAYS post more.
 
Fucking Saudis. They give money to schools who peddle this shit internationally. I think Id rather ally with fucking Iran at this point. Or at least start pandering to Qatar and Turkey
 
DragoonSierra said:
Fucking Saudis. They give money to schools who peddle this shit internationally. I think Id rather ally with fucking Iran at this point. Or at least start pandering to Qatar and Turkey
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Just nuke it all and start over. The middle east was a mistake.
 
Cosmos said:
Let's do this.
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Btw, I have literally over 600 pictures because I bulk-downloaded this Facebook page's photos. I'll keep posting more.
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These are fucking hilarious. I recommend the yawning urinating one.
 
neverendingmidi said:
If I remember correctly, it either involved smuggling items, or hiding explosives for suicide bombers.
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Here it is. Basically, anal sex is halal if it's for the purpose of dilating your arse to hide a bomb in it.

I just think that the shaykh who handed down that fatwa is so far in the closet he's having adventures in Narnia but there you go.
 
ICametoLurk said:
https://islamqa.info/en/2532





If you want to pee you have to pee sitting down. Also don't touch ur dick with ur right hand when peeing.



https://islamqa.info/en/20327

Why apostates must be killed

What is the ruling on drawing animate beings for fun and then erasing them straight away?
https://islamqa.info/en/129446


Ruling on having intercourse with a slave woman when one has a wife
https://web.archive.org/web/20150905232204/http://islamqa.info:80/en/10382


Edit:

http://islamqa.org/hanafi/muftionline/46527

Q: Is it permissible to tell some one “happy birthday”?

A: Celebrating birthdays is a custom of the kuffaar. As Muslims, we are commanded to refrain from emulating the kuffaar as well as adopting their ways. Hence, it is reprehensible to share in the happiness of someone celebrating his birthday by saying “happy birthday” to him.
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My god, they're worse than Jehovah's Witnesses with the birthday thing.
 
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