IslamQA.info - Batshit insane Islamic rulings

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Women may not go swimming even in a burkini because it might result in them seeing a man they're not related to or married to and that's coming nigh unto adultery:

https://islamqa.info/en/159926

It is a GREAT EVIL. Even if it's women only they might see other women in the nude and be tempted by it.

Crikey. It's like they read The Handmaid's Tale and decided it was a blueprint for a harmonious society.

Speaking of which, FGM is obligatory and they even reckon it has medical benefits.

https://islamqa.info/en/60314
https://islamqa.info/en/45528
 
Chris did nothing wrong said:
That's interesting considering that anime is extremely popular in Arabia. Several prominent Saudis are funding a anime studio to open in the area. Soon Muslims will be moving to Japan in bulk and there won't be an anti-immigration country left on earth. And with the aging population, people will beg to let them in like in Germany. Lots of half-Japanese half-Arabs coming your way in a few decades. Good fucking times!

http://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20170624/p2a/00m/0et/015000c
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The day Hungary accepts Islam is not only the day when Hell freezes over, it's the day when Satan opens an ice rink.
 
Is it recommended that you use soap?
https://islamqa.info/en/146653

Epilepsy is caused by the jinn
https://islamqa.info/en/9117

Ruling on Irritable Bowel Syndrome
https://islamqa.info/en/22343

Ruling on medicine to treat Irritable Bowel Syndrome
https://islamqa.info/en/147421

Ruling on hemorrhoids
https://islamqa.info/en/94402

Ruling on diarrhea
https://islamqa.info/en/221232

Can you stick your fingers into your wife's ass?
https://islamqa.info/en/40520

Can you become a martyr if you die from smoking
https://islamqa.info/en/145203

If he dies from shitting can they become a martyr?
https://islamqa.info/en/93015

Ruling on which direction to build toilets
https://islamqa.info/en/69808

Ruling on praying when you have to shit
https://islamqa.info/en/8603

Ruling on when your family member is killed by a witch
https://islamqa.info/en/60160
 
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Elwood P. Dowd said:
How do they explain Muhammad the Molester's trip to Jerusalem on one of the oddest looking creatures of mythology: A winged horse with a human head, Al-Buraq?

Buraq-Muhammad2.jpg


I can't believe something that weird looking is any kind of angel. Not sure why the above has no wings and a peacock tail, but such is life on Google images.

edit to add: Whenever they do that to Muhammad's face all I can think of is GI Joe's nemesis Cobra.

nc0zjjk16k1xjfvmwhcc.jpg


Probably too many cartoons as a kid, but when my inner Alex Jones is speaking I do kinda listen.
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Have you read Ezekial? Angels are meant to look monsterous.
 
Feline Darkmage said:
That was Leighanna Rose Walsh aka @ScarletJusticeWitch. An linebacker-sized Irish trannny and former 4chan tripfag.
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https://islamqa.info/en/21277

Sex changes are forbidden.

Tolerance of troonery varies between Islamic sects. Salafists can't stand it, but Pakistan recognise hijra as a third sex and Iran offers sex change as an alternative to prison for sodomy charges. If Guillaume Labelle wants to get his surgery done, he should just go to Iran and confess to sodomy, but his Islamophilia apparently doesn't extend that far.
 
Pointless Pedant said:
https://islamqa.info/en/21277

Sex changes are forbidden.

Tolerance of troonery varies between Islamic sects. Salafists can't stand it, but Pakistan recognise hijra as a third sex and Iran offers sex change as an alternative to prison for sodomy charges. If Guillaume Labelle wants to get his surgery done, he should just go to Iran and confess to sodomy, but his Islamophilia apparently doesn't extend that far.
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He'd also need to commit sodomy and anyone who's seen his unfiltered selfies knows that ain't happening. Even in Iran.
 
"The atheist who does good deeds is worse than the one who kills his mother and takes care of dogs"
https://islamqa.info/en/10300
I love how they equate "killing your own mother" with "taking care of dogs". :story:

"Ruling on going to funfairs and on riding on things that are in the shape of animate beings"
https://islamqa.info/en/134777
No Fun Allowed.jpg

"Ruling on using money, stamps and letters on which there are images representing kufr"
https://islamqa.info/en/256888
When even the people that run this side think you're a spastic. :heart-empty:

"Is it permissible for him to buy the udhiyah with food stamps given to him by the state?"
https://islamqa.info/en/21179
No, Ahmed, you can't buy sacrificial animals with foodstamps, you cheap motherfucker.

"Ruling on fizzy drinks"
https://islamqa.info/en/102749
Check out that wall of text. "Is it ok to stone gays?" gets like half a page of explanation, but the back and forth on whether Pepsi is halaal fills a fucking textbook.

"Buying foods that have been made in accordance with Jewish laws"
https://islamqa.info/en/103701
Allah has forbidden to the Jews many kinds of good foods, as a punishment for their disobedience.
[...]
As for our sharee‘ah, it is an easy-going, tolerant law, as Allah has permitted to us all good foods (at-tayyibaat) and He has not forbidden to us anything but that which is bad (al-khabaa’ith). [emphasis added]
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:story:
I'm a Christian and am allowed to eat anything I want. Guess muslims fucked up to have regulations forced upon them. Seriously, any religion that tries to get between me and my crispy slices of bacon can just go and fuck off.

But I do really like how these texts always end with "Allah knows best".
It's one thing to read a short text about the meaning of the word Pokemon, but to see it wrapped up with the words "Allah knows best" just cracks me up. Kinda reminds me of those shitty magazines where people can write letters and someone answers them under some awkward pseudonym, ending it with a catchphrase.
It's kinda funny how they try to namedrop Allah in order to lend these rulings more impact and make them unquestionable, but it does kinda remind me of something that seems surprisingly relevant.

Lorento said:
Now granted, the Caliphate did not merciless execute every single infidel they came across (Taxing and manpower always takes precedence over religion), but they weren't exactly invited in by the local.
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You know, reading that sentence I wondered if one of the reasons why the religious conflicts in modern times often escalates to full-swing genocide is that nowadays, nations are less dependent on their workforce and taxes.
I mean, a thousand years ago, you needed manpower to work in the fields, mines, as handcraftsmen and so on - today, you barely have much of a demand for that kind of workforce when you're for instance the ruler of Saudi Arabia. That land is financially much more dependent on oil-prices than on taxing their dirt-farmers. Everything they can't make themselves, they'll just buy from another nation.
Similarly, Daesh are a bunch of internationally sponsored ragheads trying to build a caliphate.

ICametoLurk said:
DEATH TO MICKEY MOUSE! ALLAH AKBAR
https://islamqa.info/en/2896
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"Now that we know Islam calls mice and rats fuwaysiqah (evil) and allows us to kill them even in Makkah, and that they are a means which the Shaytaan tried to use to burn down the house of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and we know that they are one of the main reasons of damaging food and spreading the plague, we find it very strange that the foolish people in the west seek to make their children like mice and rats by propagating the character of Mickey Mouse in games, comics and funfairs. Go figure!! [emphasis added]"

Wow.
 
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RomanesEuntDomus said:
You know, reading that sentence I wondered if one of the reasons why the religious conflicts in modern times often escalates to full-swing genocide is that nowadays, nations are less dependent on their workforce and taxes.
I mean, a thousand years ago, you needed manpower to work in the fields, mines, as handcraftsmen and so on - today, you barely have much of a demand for that kind of workforce when you're for instance the ruler of Saudi Arabia. That land is financially much more dependent on oil-prices than on taxing their dirt-farmers. Everything they can't make themselves, they'll just buy from another nation.
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All that pent-up frustration and boredom have to be alleviated with something. Maybe what Islam needs a reformation for is the fact that they just don't have that labor void that needs filling anymore.
 
I lost the last 4 hours to this website.

This is just like tvtropes or the likes, fantastic stuff and great for a laugh. Sadly some answers go on for way too long. Some answers are contraditory but thats Islam in a nutshell (also with 20 years of questions its no surprise either).

5/5 will come back to it next time I get hit by insomnia.
 
Pointless Pedant said:
The day Hungary accepts Islam is not only the day when Hell freezes over, it's the day when Satan opens an ice rink.
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This almost makes me imagine a future where second-world level Eastern European countries, formerly the rejects of the EU and escapees from the USSR sphere, end up the best countries in the world solely because of rejecting Islamic scum.
 
RomanesEuntDomus said:
But I do really like how these texts always end with "Allah knows best".
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I suppose it's a godbothery way of saying "Kind regards."

Anyhow. Some more fattawa:

Rape is totally the fault of sluttishly-dressed women who ask for it:
https://islamqa.info/en/72338

IslamQA said:
Islam closes the door to the criminal who wants to commit this crime. Western studies have shown that most rapists are already criminals who commit their crimes under the influence of alcohol and drugs, and they take advantage of the fact that their victims are walking alone in isolated places, or staying in the house alone. These studies also show that what the criminals watch on the media and the semi-naked styles of dress in which women go out, also lead to the commission of this reprehensible crime.

The laws of Islam came to protect women's honour and modesty. Islam forbids women to wear clothes that are not modest and to travel without a mahram; it forbids a woman to shake hands with a non-mahram man. Islam encourages young men and women to marry early, and many other rulings which close the door to rape. Hence it comes as no surprise when we hear or read that most of these crimes occur in permissive societies which are looked up to by some Muslims as examples of civilization and refinement! In America – for example – International Amnesty stated in a 2004 report entitled “Stop Violence Against Women” that every 90 seconds a woman was raped during that year. What kind of life are these people living? What refinement and civilization do they want the Muslim women to take part in?

The punishment for rape in Islam is same as the punishment for zina, which is stoning if the perpetrator is married, and one hundred lashes and banishment for one year if he is not married.
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Rape victims are all harlots who ask for it unless proven otherwise:
https://islamqa.info/en/158282

IslamQA said:
Thirdly:

A woman’s claim to have been forced into zina can only be accepted on the basis of proof or strong circumstantial evidence. If there is no such evidence, then the hadd punishment is to be carried out on her as it is carried out on the zaani (the man who committed fornication or adultery).

Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

She is not to be punished if it is proven that he forced her and overpowered her. That may be known from her having screamed and shouted for help.

Al-Istidhkaar, 7/146
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Ruin said:
It honestly amazes me how many people are blind to the fact that political Islam is literally the return of fascism just with goatfucking inbreds instead of guys in cool black uniforms.
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Seriously. Let's switch some words around and see what the results tell us:

https://islamqa.info/en/59879

Allaah has forbidden the believers to take the kaafireen (disbelievers) as friends, and He has issued a stern warning against doing that.

In this verse Allaah tells us that whoever takes the Jews and Christians as friends is one of them because of his taking them as friends. Elsewhere Allaah states that taking them as friends incurs the wrath of Allaah and His eternal punishment, and that if the one who takes them as friends was a true believer he would not have taken them as friends.

This verse explains all the verses quoted above which forbid taking the kaafirs as friends in general terms. What that refers to is in cases where one has a choice, but in cases of fear and taqiyah it is permissible to make friends with them, as much as is essential to protect oneself against their evil. That is subject to the condition that one’s faith should not be affected by that friendship and the one who is behaves in that manner out of necessity is not one who behaves in that manner out of choice.

Eating with a kaafir is not haraam if it is necessary to do so, or if that serves some shar’i interest. But they should not be taken as friends, so you should not eat with them for no shar’i reason or for no shar’i purpose. You should not sit and chat with them and laugh with them. But if there is a reason to do so, such as eating with a guest, or to invite them to Islam or to guide them to the truth, or for some other shar’i reason, then it is OK.

The fact that the food of the People of the Book is halaal for us does not mean that we may take them as friends and companions. It does not mean that we may eat and drink with them for no reason and for no shar’i purpose.
God has forbidden the whites to take the blacks (Negros) as friends, and He has issued a stern warning against doing that.

In this verse God tells us that whoever takes the blacks and Hispanics as friends is one of them because of his taking them as friends. Elsewhere God states that taking them as friends incurs the wrath of God and His eternal punishment, and that if the one who takes them as friends was a true Aryan he would not have taken them as friends.

This verse explains all the verses quoted above which forbid taking the blacks as friends in general terms. What that refers to is in cases where one has a choice, but in cases of fear and deception it is permissible to make friends with them, as much as is essential to protect oneself against their evil. That is subject to the condition that one’s whiteness should not be affected by that friendship and the one who is behaves in that manner out of necessity is not one who behaves in that manner out of choice.

Eating with a black is not sinful if it is necessary to do so, or if that serves some white nationalist interest. But they should not be taken as friends, so you should not eat with them for no white nationalist reason or for no white nationalist purpose. You should not sit and chat with them and laugh with them. But if there is a reason to do so, such as eating with a guest, or to invite them to white power or to guide them to the truth of white supremacy, or for some other white nationalist reason, then it is OK.

The fact that the food of the non-whites is edible for us does not mean that we may take them as friends and companions. It does not mean that we may eat and drink with them for no reason and for no white nationalist purpose.

Salafism/Islamic supremacy is absolutely no different from white supremacy. Imo, it's far more dangerous because it spreads like a fast-acting cancer, the West doesn't take it nearly as seriously as white supremacism, and hundreds of millions of dollars have been invested in it.
 
Cosmos said:
Seriously. Let's switch some words around and see what the results tell us:

https://islamqa.info/en/59879

Allaah has forbidden the believers to take the kaafireen (disbelievers) as friends, and He has issued a stern warning against doing that.

In this verse Allaah tells us that whoever takes the Jews and Christians as friends is one of them because of his taking them as friends. Elsewhere Allaah states that taking them as friends incurs the wrath of Allaah and His eternal punishment, and that if the one who takes them as friends was a true believer he would not have taken them as friends.

This verse explains all the verses quoted above which forbid taking the kaafirs as friends in general terms. What that refers to is in cases where one has a choice, but in cases of fear and taqiyah it is permissible to make friends with them, as much as is essential to protect oneself against their evil. That is subject to the condition that one’s faith should not be affected by that friendship and the one who is behaves in that manner out of necessity is not one who behaves in that manner out of choice.

Eating with a kaafir is not haraam if it is necessary to do so, or if that serves some shar’i interest. But they should not be taken as friends, so you should not eat with them for no shar’i reason or for no shar’i purpose. You should not sit and chat with them and laugh with them. But if there is a reason to do so, such as eating with a guest, or to invite them to Islam or to guide them to the truth, or for some other shar’i reason, then it is OK.

The fact that the food of the People of the Book is halaal for us does not mean that we may take them as friends and companions. It does not mean that we may eat and drink with them for no reason and for no shar’i purpose.
God has forbidden the whites to take the blacks (Negros) as friends, and He has issued a stern warning against doing that.

In this verse God tells us that whoever takes the blacks and Hispanics as friends is one of them because of his taking them as friends. Elsewhere God states that taking them as friends incurs the wrath of God and His eternal punishment, and that if the one who takes them as friends was a true Aryan he would not have taken them as friends.

This verse explains all the verses quoted above which forbid taking the blacks as friends in general terms. What that refers to is in cases where one has a choice, but in cases of fear and deception it is permissible to make friends with them, as much as is essential to protect oneself against their evil. That is subject to the condition that one’s whiteness should not be affected by that friendship and the one who is behaves in that manner out of necessity is not one who behaves in that manner out of choice.

Eating with a black is not sinful if it is necessary to do so, or if that serves some white nationalist interest. But they should not be taken as friends, so you should not eat with them for no white nationalist reason or for no white nationalist purpose. You should not sit and chat with them and laugh with them. But if there is a reason to do so, such as eating with a guest, or to invite them to white power or to guide them to the truth of white supremacy, or for some other white nationalist reason, then it is OK.

The fact that the food of the non-whites is edible for us does not mean that we may take them as friends and companions. It does not mean that we may eat and drink with them for no reason and for no white nationalist purpose.

Salafism/Islamic supremacy is absolutely no different from white supremacy. Imo, it's far more dangerous because it spreads like a fast-acting cancer, the West doesn't take it nearly as seriously as white supremacism, and hundreds of millions of dollars have been invested in it.
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One of the main reasons Islamism spreads so fucking fast is because cucks with their heads in the sand often divert resources dedicated to fighting it into monitoring Neo Nazi gangs that have a few dozen members at most so MSNBC and stupid college kids can feel good about themselves.
 
Ruin said:
One of the main reasons Islamism spreads so fucking fast is because cucks with their heads in the sand often divert resources dedicated to fighting it into monitoring Neo Nazi gangs that have a few dozen members at most so MSNBC and stupid college kids can feel good about themselves.
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Fuck me yes. About 10 years ago Channel 4 did an episode of the hidden-camera documentary Dispatches where they went into mosques round Britain to see if it was true that all sorts of brutality and depravity was being preached there. It was. "Take the homosexual and throw them off the mountain," "either she wears the hijab or we hit her," "Jews did 9/11 and the holocaust was made up," etc.

The response of the powers that be was to cave into the reeeeeeeing of the (Saudi-funded) mosques that they investigated and threaten C4 with criminal charges because they "disrupted community cohesion."

This was the same year that Britain left the Civil War era by finally repealing laws against blasphemy, only to bring in the Racial & Religious Hatred Act which criminalised, erm, blasphemy. The Blair government did some fucking exceptional things and this was one of them.
 
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