IslamQA.info - Batshit insane Islamic rulings

[Cosmos]

Their rulings on Facebook are hilarious.

Don't use Facebook because you should only ever focus on Islam

Girls aren't allowed to post Facebook pictures:

With regard to what you have mentioned about some women who wear hijab believing that putting their picture in hijab is not forbidden according to Islam, if what you mean by hijab is proper shar‘i hijab that covers the face and does not show the face of the woman, then this kind of thing is not forbidden in Islam, especially when there is a need for it. But this is not what they meant, because there is no benefit in doing this. What is the point of putting a picture of a black shape in which nothing appears?!

But if what is meant is putting a picture of a woman with her face uncovered, even if she has covered the rest of her body, then we have explained that this is what leads to evil consequences that are sufficient to deem it forbidden, even if we do not say that it is obligatory for the woman to cover her face; so how about if that is obligatory? The sin in this case is multiplied and the danger is greater. By doing that she has transgressed and what the believing women have been accustomed to doing for centuries.

Al-Ghazaali (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Ihya’ ‘Uloom ad-Deen (2/53): Men throughout the ages have always had their faces uncovered and women have always gone out with their faces covered. End quote. It says something similar in Fath al-Baari, 9/337.

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Fath al-Baari (9/424): The custom of women in the past and more recently has been to cover their faces in front of non-mahram men. End quote.

Moreover, if everyone who has any common sense realises that the focal point of beauty and fitnah in women is the face, and this is what men want to see, and it is from this that it is judged whether a woman is beautiful or not, then publishing pictures in the manner mentioned opens the door to women for be tempted to be a source of temptation, and for them and their pictures to be treated disrespectfully, as they will be visible to anyone who wants to see them.

Ruling on “liking” photos of women who are not properly covered- DON'T FUCKING DO IT, YOU SINNER

You're not allowed to add women to your friends list, even if it's to convince them to convert to Islam:

In particular, see the answer to question no. 98107, where we mentioned ways in which the Shaytaan causes daa‘iyahs to fall prey to the fitnah of women on the internet.

What we hope is that our brother will be sincere to himself and avoid all doubts and close the door to fitnah; he should refrain from adding any non-mahram women to his friends list. If he has done that previously, he should hasten to remove their names from his list (“unfriend” them). It is better for him and for them. And we ask Allah to protect the Muslims in their religious commitment and protect them against the temptation of women.

"Can I make an application for jokes?" "No, humor is haram."

 

[LazloChalos]

Holy shit, Salafis and Wahhabis are the most miserable fucking people on the planet. They are the living embodiment of this picture:

View attachment 245311

I'm 100% sure the only reason they haven't all killed themselves is because suicide is haram, and therefore they'd go to hell instead of finally enjoying themselves in Paradise. I mean, just imagine living a life without

• Music
• Drawings and art of anything that resembles a living creature
• Dancing
• Dogs
• Any animals other than cats, actually
• Alcohol
• Pork
• Indulging in non-Islamic cultures (so no jeans, movies, etc)
• Fun celebrations like birthdays, Christmas, New Years, and so on
• Friends who don't share 100% of your beliefs
• Socializing and interacting with the opposite sex
• Pre-marital relationships (even regarding things as innocent as kissing or holding hands)
• Playing dice or anything that depends on luck as it goes against Allah's predetermined fate
• Reading and writing anything that goes outside the realm of Islam
  
• Playing anything that results in winning a cash prize
  
• Literally everything else that makes life enjoyable

How does this belief system even have any followers, let alone tens of millions of them???

I guess I could do without those things...

Except for the pork.

 

[The Great Chandler]

The Salafis and Wahabbists are no different than the Jewish leaders at Jesus' time who thought making up a crazy set of laws would give them intellectual points.

 

[NoStinkingBadges]

Holy shit, Salafis and Wahhabis are the most miserable fucking people on the planet. They are the living embodiment of this picture:

View attachment 245311

I'm 100% sure the only reason they haven't all killed themselves is because suicide is haram, and therefore they'd go to hell instead of finally enjoying themselves in Paradise. I mean, just imagine living a life without

• Music
• Drawings and art of anything that resembles a living creature
• Dancing
• Dogs
• Any animals other than cats, actually
• Alcohol
• Pork
• Indulging in non-Islamic cultures (so no jeans, movies, etc)
• Fun celebrations like birthdays, Christmas, New Years, and so on
• Friends who don't share 100% of your beliefs
• Socializing and interacting with the opposite sex
• Pre-marital relationships (even regarding things as innocent as kissing or holding hands)
• Playing dice or anything that depends on luck as it goes against Allah's predetermined fate
• Reading and writing anything that goes outside the realm of Islam
  
• Playing anything that results in winning a cash prize
  
• Literally everything else that makes life enjoyable

How does this belief system even have any followers, let alone tens of millions of them???

Like most tyrannical belief systems, it's because the people in charge of Wahhabism are also the people who head a lot of Islamic states. Thus, these rulings have less to do with what's in the Koran (though there's a lot of wierd shit in it) and has everything to do with staying in power indefinitely. Think North Korea with even more autism.

Also, they tend to prey on the poor and uneducated, and try to _keep_ them poor and uneducated in order to establish that the state is Islam, and the state will kill you if you do not follow the tenants of Islam (ie do anything that may not be under the absolute power and control of the Islamic state).

If Islam were to reform and become seperate from the state, a lot of Middle Eastern caliphates would lose their power. So they essentially cut off everyone from the outside world and create a dogmatic system of belief in order to support a tyrannical government. Again, it's essentially North Korea for brown people.

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

Is it allowed to use Jinn to fly? Also yes, it is possible to fly with the help of this dude

https://islamqa.info/en/197463

How do they explain Muhammad the Molester's trip to Jerusalem on one of the oddest looking creatures of mythology: A winged horse with a human head, Al-Buraq?

I can't believe something that weird looking is any kind of angel. Not sure why the above has no wings and a peacock tail, but such is life on Google images.

edit to add: Whenever they do that to Muhammad's face all I can think of is GI Joe's nemesis Cobra.

Probably too many cartoons as a kid, but when my inner Alex Jones is speaking I do kinda listen.

 

[Overcast]

Jesus Christ, this is like the religion of killjoys who don't know how to have fun.

I mean... No music? Whatsoever? That's like the ultimate form of expression. Something that is universally liked in some way or some degree. Something that brings people of all types together. I can't imagine life without it.

And of course they hate dogs. Because why not?

 

[Ginger Piglet]

I mean... No music? Whatsoever? That's like the ultimate form of expression. Something that is universally liked in some way or some degree. Something that brings people of all types together. I can't imagine life without it.

Ah no. The plucking of stringed instruments is one of the portents of the end of the world:

Narrated By Abu 'Amir or Abu Malik Al-Ash'ari: That he heard the Prophet saying, "From among my followers there will be some people who will consider illegal sexual intercourse, the wearing of silk, the drinking of alcoholic drinks and the use of musical instruments, as lawful.

 

[cypocryphy]

You'd think when Muhammad was inventing this nonsense he'd at least make it fun. Then again this is a guy who liked to fuck little girls, so it's not a big surprise.

 

[Android raptor]

How do they explain Muhammad the Molester's trip to Jerusalem on one of the oddest looking creatures of mythology: A winged horse with a human head, Al-Buraq?

I can't believe something that weird looking is any kind of angel. Not sure why the above has no wings and a peacock tail, but such is life on Google images.

edit to add: Whenever they do that to Muhammad's face all I can think of is GI Joe's nemesis Cobra.

Probably too many cartoons as a kid, but when my inner Alex Jones is speaking I do kinda listen.

Off topic but angels are pretty weird looking even in the Bible. I'm talking shit like wheels covered in eyeballs or four-headed, four-winged man beasts that will incinerate you if you look directly at them. Them being depicted exclusively as pretty, androgynous humans with wings is fairly new (and if you look into angel lore is only what one type of angel looks like anyway).

 

[RI 360]

Is it allowed to show little kids your penis?
https://islamqa.info/en/102187

I read this as advice to molest them young enough to not have the ability to rat you out.

 

[ICametoLurk]

Like most tyrannical belief systems, it's because the people in charge of Wahhabism are also the people who head a lot of Islamic states. Thus, these rulings have less to do with what's in the Koran (though there's a lot of wierd shit in it) and has everything to do with staying in power indefinitely. Think North Korea with even more autism.

Also, they tend to prey on the poor and uneducated, and try to _keep_ them poor and uneducated in order to establish that the state is Islam, and the state will kill you if you do not follow the tenants of Islam (ie do anything that may not be under the absolute power and control of the Islamic state).

If Islam were to reform and become seperate from the state, a lot of Middle Eastern caliphates would lose their power. So they essentially cut off everyone from the outside world and create a dogmatic system of belief in order to support a tyrannical government. Again, it's essentially North Korea for brown people.

There's another thing, they've literally created the perfect religion for creating and radicalizing a generation of frustrated, angry young men who then go out and conquer in their name because they can't do anything else.

They're banning everything that distracts young men and keeps them busy. Once you take away those distractions you produce generation after generation of angry, frustrated men who's only way to get laid is conquer women and breed with them at a ridiculous rate. Creates not only demographic warfare but makes men more aggressive and drive and causes huge birth rates that outbreed all other religions and cultures.

They know exactly what they're up to.

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

Ah no. The plucking of stringed instruments is one of the portents of the end of the world:

Well, shit....

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Well, shit....

https://youtube.com/watch?v=BrO1qDhG3LE

Oh fuck. Women talking back, being out in public without a male guardian, and plucking stringed instruments.

Sheikh Muhammad Salih al-Munajjid and his mate Binbag would reeeeeee like a neckbeard deprived of tendies if he saw this.

In all seriousness, though, apparently Indonesia has a surprisingly strong metal scene which was reportedly one of the breeding grounds for opposition to Suharto's dictatorship. And I need to find some more stuff by those lasses because they're really, really, good.

 

[Chris did nothing wrong]

Off topic but angels are pretty weird looking even in the Bible. I'm talking shit like wheels covered in eyeballs or four-headed, four-winged man beasts that will incinerate you if you look directly at them. Them being depicted exclusively as pretty, androgynous humans with wings is fairly new (and if you look into angel lore is only what one type of angel looks like anyway).

I always loved the accurate deceptions of angels going off gospel deceptions!

Ophanim:

https://sneed-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/f2/d1/4e/f2d14e873b1ad5da145354e1899ac74c--arch-angels-the-throne.jpg

Seraphim (missing a few wings but you get the idea):

It would've made Veggietales more interesting as a kid. Well that and all the incest.

 

[ICametoLurk]

I read this as advice to molest them young enough to not have the ability to rat you out.

That's why I put it up here.

 

[Pointless Pedant]

Like most tyrannical belief systems, it's because the people in charge of Wahhabism are also the people who head a lot of Islamic states. Thus, these rulings have less to do with what's in the Koran (though there's a lot of wierd shit in it) and has everything to do with staying in power indefinitely. Think North Korea with even more autism.

Also, they tend to prey on the poor and uneducated, and try to _keep_ them poor and uneducated in order to establish that the state is Islam, and the state will kill you if you do not follow the tenants of Islam (ie do anything that may not be under the absolute power and control of the Islamic state).

If Islam were to reform and become seperate from the state, a lot of Middle Eastern caliphates would lose their power. So they essentially cut off everyone from the outside world and create a dogmatic system of belief in order to support a tyrannical government. Again, it's essentially North Korea for brown people.

The only caliphate in the middle east is ISIS, and that's in rapid decline. No one has been a generally accepted caliph since the downfall of the Ottomans in the 1920s. No one is in charge of Wahhabism, either; Islam doesn't have a pope, there are just imams of varying degrees of influence.

Most sharia states are the way they are to appease a majority of religious conservatives. The kings of Saudi Arabia have been caught in a perpetual struggle to try to modernise their kingdom while appeasing traditional clerics. The extremists frequently turn violent, as in 1979 when they seized Mecca itself until the army recaptured it. As a result, they toe the line to popular pressure closely and never deviate too far from the Quran. Islamist policies are usually populist, trying to keep support for leaders among the broadly conservative public to win votes or dissuade them from rising up in rebellion. Iraq's imposition of prohibition last year comes after a transition to multi-party government; under Saddam Hussein's rule, liquor stores were legal. Similarly, Iran's transformation from secular to fundamentalist system came with a transition from absolute monarchy to presidential republic. Most people there are and were Islamists.

Fundamentalist Islam is populist, and usually much more popular among ordinary people than the ruling class. People tend to believe what they're told as children, and if most people listen to the Quran every week at school, that's what they believe.

TL;DR: No.

Oh fuck. Women talking back, being out in public without a male guardian, and plucking stringed instruments.

Sheikh Muhammad Salih al-Munajjid and his mate Binbag would reeeeeee like a neckbeard deprived of tendies if he saw this.

In all seriousness, though, apparently Indonesia has a surprisingly strong metal scene which was reportedly one of the breeding grounds for opposition to Suharto's dictatorship. And I need to find some more stuff by those lasses because they're really, really, good.

It's nothing to do with Islam, but I have a good story about Indonesian metal. President Joko Widodo used to own Robert Trujillo's bass guitar, and is a big fan of Napalm Death. After he sentenced some drug traffickers to death, Napalm Death wrote to him begging to spare their lives. He didn't.

There is an Indonesian band called Killer of Gods who released an album last year called Mental Re-tardation Force. It's fitting.

 

[Pigeon On A Stick]

[Games based on] making children get used to violence and criminality, and teaching them to take killing and murder lightly, as in the famous “Doom” game [are haram].

Hmm, what sounds so familiar?

 

[Star Wormwood]

Hmm, what sounds so familiar?

Jack Thompson confirmed for Muslim.

 

[Cosmos]

There's another thing, they've literally created the perfect religion for creating and radicalizing a generation of frustrated, angry young men who then go out and conquer in their name because they can't do anything else.

They're banning everything that distracts young men and keeps them busy. Once you take away those distractions you produce generation after generation of angry, frustrated men who's only way to get laid is conquer women and breed with them at a ridiculous rate. Creates not only demographic warfare but makes men more aggressive and drive and causes huge birth rates that outbreed all other religions and cultures.

They know exactly what they're up to.

This is absolutely correct. There's nothing more dangerous than a lot of frustrated, angry, and sex-starved young men, and nothing is better at producing them than radical Islam is. They have almost zero contact with women outside of their families. They're not allowed to enjoy the vast majority of music, movies, tv shows, books, and other entertainment media. They can't drink alcohol or dance or have fun parties. There are guidelines on what jokes they can and can't enjoy (to the point where "laughing and joking excessively" is frowned upon). They can't interact and be friends with non-Muslims and non-Salafi Muslims unless they're trying to convert them. They can't do anything that radical Islam deems "haram," which is almost everything we take for granted.

Basically, their lives are fucking miserable. The only things they can do are pray, study/focus on Islam, and get fucking pissed off at how sinful and decadent everyone else is. They're unbelievably bored, angry, and frustrated, and those feelings are oftentimes channeled into terrorism and/or violence. That's why the vast majority of Islamic terrorists are young men. That's why, in countries like Pakistan, Egypt, and Iraq, hate preachers are able to channel their congregation's frustration into hatred and violence towards non-Muslims. That's why Islamic terrorists don't have a problem blowing themselves up, because they believe they'll go to Heaven and finally be able to enjoy all of the things they were denied in this life.

So what you're left with are a bunch of aggressive, frustrated, sex-starved, hateful men who have literally nothing left to lose.

 

[AnOminous]

So what you're left with are a bunch of aggressive, frustrated, sex-starved, hateful men who have literally nothing left to lose.

This is exactly why we should not be importing people from Salafist cultures, especially single young men, who are vastly disproportionately more likely to be terrorists.