😵‍💫 Skitzocow Insert Symbols Here / Warped Ellipsis

[Don't Call Anybody]

Jesus the chronically ill service dog died a few months ago (archive). Nicole misses him (archive) but has shown interest in getting another dog (archive).

 

[Scratch This Nut]

Jesus the chronically ill service dog died a few months ago. Nicole misses him but has shown interest in getting another dog.

This gal deletes everything like no tomorrow. Start archiving please.

 

[lindsayfan]

She totally didn't need to put the dog down, but just did it because she's craycray and convinced herself it was dying of something.

http://archive.is/dpbHU

I guess this is where I'm supposed to feign outrage on the dog's behalf but actually idgaf. It is however a fascinating example of the exact behavior she accuses her parents of (controlling, obsessive, abusive, wishing/inflicting death on their vulnerable offspring).

 

[Scratch This Nut]

She totally didn't need to put the dog down, but just did it because she's craycray and convinced herself it was dying of something.

I guess this is where I'm supposed to feign outrage on the dog's behalf but actually idgaf. It is however a fascinating example of the exact behavior she accuses her parents of (controlling, obsessive, abusive, wishing/inflicting death on their vulnerable offspring)

I have three dogs so if that dog wasn't in pain or had something like cancer than I would be pretty pissed off. Like what was wrong with him even?

 

[Meowthkip]

She totally didn't need to put the dog down, but just did it because she's craycray and convinced herself it was dying of something.

http://archive.is/dpbHU

I guess this is where I'm supposed to feign outrage on the dog's behalf but actually idgaf. It is however a fascinating example of the exact behavior she accuses her parents of (controlling, obsessive, abusive, wishing/inflicting death on their vulnerable offspring).

This is the first time I've ever heard of a case of Munchausen's by Proxy with a dog.

That poor doggo.

 

[Trombonista]

I'd suggest getting a therapy rock instead, but she could throw it, so no therapy pet for her.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Like what was wrong with him even?

She always claimed it had a heart condition which is why it had constant, expensive medical emergencies, but who knows what the reality in that house is.

I want more news about the brother. I hope he's still flushing all her clothes down the toilet or whatever

 

[Lunete]

So she refused to dip into her tugboat to pay for her dog's vet bills and instead chose to let it suffer and die?
And somehow this is the fault of everyone else but her?

 

[Meowthkip]

So she refused to dip into her tugboat to pay for her dog's vet bills and instead chose to let it suffer and die?
And somehow this is the fault of everyone else but her?

I think we've learned by now that EVERYTHING is anyone else's fault but hers.

Crazy bitch probably had the dog euthanized out of pure spite.

 

[Don't Call Anybody]

Nicole hasn't been active on Wordpress in eleven months, and most of her content seems to come from Tumblr these days. Does it make sense to move the thread to the Tumblr board or just leave it here?

 

[Meowthkip]

Nicole hasn't been active on Wordpress in eleven months, and most of her content seems to come from Tumblr these days. Does it make sense to move the thread to the Tumblr board or just leave it here?

It's fine here.

 

[lindsayfan]

Yeah, she's not a Tumblrina in the conventional ways. She's a skitzocow-- don't misclassify her, you abusive shitlord!

 

[awoo]

Sadly this thread has done a poor job of archiving things. Anyone have the original recordings?

I'm more interested in the truth of the original story than her current tumblr antics.

CMU's newspaper made a brief mention of the case in 2013. No word on the result of the case.
https://web.archive.org/web/20160912103400/https://thetartan.org/2013/9/30/news/beta

The complaint would be handled administratively, rather than in court. If the Department of Education finds a complaint to be valid, a university could be fined up to $35,000 per infraction and, in extreme cases, could be suspended from participation in student financial aid programs. This is not the first time that questions have arisen over Carnegie Mellon’s handling of a sexual assault case. In May 2012, Nicole Ickes published a blog post alleging that Carnegie Mellon had mishandled a sexual assault case that she reported to the university in March 2011. She wrote that she was not informed of academic accommodations that the Department of Education’s Title IX requires universities to make available to sexual assault survivors.

The archived original posts, which should be in the OP: @Don't Call Anybody
https://web.archive.org/web/20120801045026/https://insertsymbolshere.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/shush/


Someone earlier linked a blog post by Joshua Wise (not Idea Guy) https://web.archive.org/web/20180812042748/https://joshuawise.com/cmu-nicole-ickes
On his site is a PDF compilation of her wordpress posts (attached) Also he wrote a letter to then president of the university.


TribLive news article from April 29, 2012, showcasing violence:
https://web.archive.org/web/2018101...ittsburghtrib/news/westmoreland/s_596870.html

Spoiler: [B]Penn Borough woman charged with outburst against deputies[/B]

A Penn Borough woman is in Westmoreland County Prison after she allegedly became combative with law enforcement officials.

Nicole M. Ickes, 22, of 500 Harrison Ave. is charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, institutional vandalism of an educational facility, criminal mischief-tampering with property, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest or other law enforcement.

According to the criminal complaint filed by the Westmoreland County Sheriff's Department, deputies on Oct. 26 were assigned to serve a bench warrant on Ickes for failing to appear for sentencing in Cambria County on charges of defiant trespass and false identification to a law enforcement officer.

The complaint stated Ickes "became agitated, loudly screaming profanities at deputies" when they attempted to serve the warrant while she was standing on Locust Street.

As deputies handcuffed Ickes, she kicked one of them in the knee, then twice kicked shut the door of the officers' vehicle as they attempted to put her in the car, according to the complaint.

Inside the car, Ickes kicked a rear window with her bare feet, shattering it and sending glass onto deputies. She also allegedly damaged weather stripping. Damage was set at $1,181.20. As Ickes continued to kick the door, a deputy used his Taser on her.

Ickes was arraigned before Jeannette District Judge Joseph DeMarchis, with bond set at $10,000. A preliminary hearing is scheduled Thursday before DeMarchis.

Aforementioned reddit account with spam https://web.archive.org/web/20180727133156/https://www.reddit.com/user/insertsymbols


Other info

Appears as an author popularpittsburgh.com in 2018. https://web.archive.org/web/20181019055600/http://popularpittsburgh.com/author/nicole/
Nothing of note, and it appears all the articles linked were actually authored by other people

https://www.pinterest.com/insertsymbols/ which includes pictures of birds and dresses. archive.org and archive.is don't handle pintrest well, but there's nothing interesting

2006 Chemistry Olympics Category II Winners (attached)

Witness to shooting? https://web.archive.org/web/2018101...g-outside-jeannette-bar-increases-r/197917652

 

[Kosher Dill]

As Ickes continued to kick the door, a deputy used his Taser on her.

I'm more interested in the truth of the original story than her current tumblr antics.

Eh, I believe the facts of the story are more or less as she reported them - no one would make up such a nothing of an incident.

Anyone have the original recordings?

I've got "General Abuse" and "Mom Cruelty" lying around if anyone wants them. I didn't save every single one of her recorded screams though.

 

[Lunete]

I miss her recordings. Her adult tantrums we're the best parts of this thread.

 

[awoo]

I've got "General Abuse" and "Mom Cruelty" lying around if anyone wants them. I didn't save every single one of her recorded screams though.

Please upload them here if possible.

 

[Meowthkip]

Inside the car, Ickes kicked a rear window with her bare feet, shattering it and sending glass onto deputies. She also allegedly damaged weather stripping. Damage was set at $1,181.20. As Ickes continued to kick the door, a deputy used his Taser on her.

She managed to do more damage than Lindsay Ellis.

Goddamn, I almost forgot about this bitch and her crazy, dog-murdering ways.

 

[awoo]

Misc tumblr (sorry for any repeats, this is my first time archiving tumblr stuff. Google cache is very useful)

https://web.archive.org/web/2018101...it-shouldnt-be-taboo-to-criticize-parents-for

My gripe isn’t any of this, it’s that there is no way you can have more than two kids and still be as good a parent as you are at two. If you stop and have a huge age gap once the first two hit like 16, then have another two, perhaps, but imo it’s not advisable. Two parents shouldn’t do that. Only reason I’d entertain as exceptions would be if you’re adopting, and there’s a bunch of siblings you don’t want to break up.

Kids are stressful on both the parents and the other kids. It’s not realistic for anyone to have a whole bunch.

https://web.archive.org/web/2018101...ebibliosphere-i-have-a-friend-who-has-a-child

if you’re not a parent, then nothing you do matters. only parents experience real feelings and emotions, real loss and real joy. nobody else. not even their children.

welcome to abusive ideology. it’s about power and selfishness, justifications for why nobody else matters. and the whole goddamn world supports it. “you’re selfish if you don’t have kids”. blah blah blah.

https://web.archive.org/web/2018101...391/my-parents-spanked-me-and-i-turned-out-ok

The other thing is that people aren’t idiotic animals. You hit an animal, sure maybe it’ll stop doing that one behavior in your presence. But you damn well know that the dog gets on the couch when you’re gone. And you know people grow up and realize that “hey, nobody can hit me anymore because I’m not a child, so I can do whatever the hell I want”. People are not stupid. They don’t learn that this thing is bad, forever and always. They learn that they can’t do it in front of you, and so long as they can’t fight back. There will come a time when you are no longer allowed to hit them. There will come a time when nobody is allowed to hold them accountable. That’s how you raise entitled bullies, a criminal, and people who think that they can do what they want to everyone else–like politicians and Congress and Tea Partiers. Why do you think “affluenza” is suddenly a thing for the rich but that wouldn’t ever work for the poor?

https://web.archive.org/web/2018101...6/notyourexrotic-hotyaoigrandpa-although-real

if sex is the only thing that is good, then there’s something wrong. if that’s the only thing you believe you can use to make others or yourself feel good, that’s not healthy.

if the only positive physical assurance you think you have is sex, if nothing else works as an emblem of love, then something is wrong.

hypersexuality isn’t okay when you think sex is the only thing you’re good for.

there’s nothing wrong with being hypersexual, if that’s all it is. there’s nothing wrong with needing to work through issues with sex after a traumatic experience. there’s never anything shameful about dealing with trauma.

but not every instance of it is positive. not everything will be happy joy joy. sometimes using sex can be a form of self harm, a way of abusing yourself like other people used to abuse you. that’s no different than cutting yourself or going back to an abuser. sometimes it can be trying to put a supposedly happy cover over much worse things, as a way of not dealing with them. it’s not shaming to acknowledge it’s unhealthy or to say that those things need to stop and be fixed. it’s not wrong to say those coping mechanisms are shitty.

https://web.archive.org/web/2017082...85396/warpedellipsis-theunitofcaring-fnord888 (probably already posted)

So last term money was really tight and my roommate had their girlfriend living with us (against the lease agreement) in a total of 350 square feet between the three of us. We didn’t have to pay utilities, but if we had we’d have needed to beg family and friends for the money.

Let’s say I did have to pay utilities, and I can’t, and I’m at risk of getting them shut off. PETA offers me money. I can say ‘fuck off’ if I don’t want to become vegan, and I’m literally in exactly the same boat as I was a second ago. Or I can say 'sure’, if I want my utilities paid more than I want to eat meat. PETA has not harmed me. PETA is not extorting me. At most PETA wasted the ten seconds it took me to tell them to go away.

Everyone yelling at PETA, on the other hand, is not offering to pay my bills. They are not offering to do anything for me. They are just really offended that PETA would have the nerve to offer conditional help, and they probably don’t get that all help when you’re poor is conditional, and that PETA’s conditions are a helluva lot less demeaning than some of the ones you have to meet to get help elsewhere (drug tests! forms that misgender you! proving you’ve applied to lots of jobs you won’t get and are too disabled to do! spend down all the money in your bank account, even if it was savings for desperately needed medical care, because you have too many assets to qualify for this program!)

I can’t help but feel like some people on this website have never actually needed help, and that’s why they value 'how altruistic the helper is/how pure their motives are’ over the lives of the people actually affected.

https://web.archive.org/web/2018101...1126506/regurgitation-imminent-warpedellipsis

People don’t believe I was and still am abused because my parents are rich, and I “was handed everything I wanted”, that I “never had to work for anything, ever, in my whole life”, that I “don’t know what struggle and pain are”.

They would beat us and break everything we owned. We were kicked into walls and kicked in the head as regular punishment for things as small as not using the vacuum “the right way”. They told us that we didn’t have the money to go to the hospital ER “because that costs extra on the weekends”, then they’d turn around and buy themselves tons of trash they’d never touch. We were punished for being sick after they refused to take us to the doctor, and we were punished for having to be sent home because we got sick at school. We were punished for “hiding being sick” because “if we’d just said something, this wouldn’t have costed so much, they wouldn’t have had to sit here with our lying ungrateful bastard asses wasting their time for shit we should just suck up anyway”, but “we just had to go and complain in front of company”, and now “they’re forced to do something about my manipulative witchy bitch self”. That was how they referred to me, I was a witch and a bitch–a manipulative witch before I was even in school.

But I had expensive toys and I had “access” to healthcare, my grades were fine, so nobody cared what else went on. Especially because my parents went to church every week. Church people aren’t abusive, neither are rich people, your parents love you, they’re right you’re such an ungrateful whore what a bitch you are.

I have them on tape now and still nobody cares. I’m a whore.

I said a lot of stuff like that to my friends and to my parents’ company. It was normal. I realized early that I couldn’t repeat anything, so to little-me it wasn’t that anything was *wrong*, it was that *I* deserved to be treated like that since saying it to other people was wrong, but having things like that said to me was obviously fine. Of course other people’s parents talked to them like that too, of course other people’s parents kept hitting and touching them and forcing them into acting like you’re having fun because the parents will throw a tantrum if you don’t do what they want, if you don’t tolerate them harassing you, if you’re not grateful for what they give you regardless of whether it’s something you wanted in the first place.

Because this is what happens behind closed doors–of course everyone else’s parents would be nice on the outside and I wouldn’t see any of the “normal” stuff. That’s not how you act when company is around, but everyone knows there’s nothing wrong with doing that “in the privacy of your own home”. There’s nothing wrong with your parents telling you that you can’t talk about any of what they do and say to you, because this is how everyone acts. Everyone already knows, and you’ll only catch hell for talking out of turn, for talking about “private” things.

https://web.archive.org/web/2018101.../tw-could-you-talk-about-why-victim-is-viewed

warpedellipsis asked:

[tw] Could you talk about why "victim" is viewed as a bad word in sex crimes and abuse? People act like you're making yourself worse or bringing it on yourself if you say you're a victim, like you can't say you're were/still are damaged and need help, like you aren't allowed to say there was nothing you could have done to stop it. I can't think of a nice reason that people would do that, much less why victims themselves would do this.

star-anise answered:
So I’m guessing you know the classic reason people prefer to self-define as “survivor” and not “victim”–because it emphasizes what they did, rather than what someone else did to them. My understanding is that your question is why someone else would object to you defining yourself this way.

I’ll steal from another essay I wrote:

And meanwhile, in a new arena of bullshit, our society has all these absolutist and contradictory narratives about mental illness and trauma, like:

1. If you’re Very Traumatized the rest of your life has to be suffering and pain, and you’re never allowed to be happy or have friends, and if you ever laugh then it never happened at all
2. If you’re surrounded by good things and your life is good then you should be happy and live in the moment and not let anything from the past bother you
3. If you have a mental illness then you should be totally debilitated and being able to accomplish anything means you’re not really mentally ill
4. If you want to be better you should never show symptoms because they’re always bad and you should be cheerful and focus on the positives

Which leaves those of us expected to live those stories out royally fucked over, because it is IMPOSSIBLE to do all those things at once!

So what we often do, and what I myself struggled to do a lot when I was younger, was to create a single, coherent, satisfying story of my illness, by choosing one side of the dichotomy and totally ignoring the other.

FUCK POSITIVITY, I railed. I’M SICK. I’M TRAUMATIZED. I’LL BE AS SAD AS I WANT TO BE. And then I’d have a good minute, or hour, or day, and wonder: Does that cancel it all out? Am I failing at being damaged?

Or sometimes I’d be open to the love of my friends and the beauty of life and the joy all around me—and still feel like my chest was gapingly empty—and wonder: Am I being ungrateful? How could I look at my amazing, supportive friends and suspect them of acting like the people who traumatized me? How can I be so cold and unfeeling as to fail to appreciate the good things in life?

Here’s what I’ve come to believe: It’s all true. All of it. The same way a piano has 88 keys, all distinct, we contain all our stories, even the bullshit ones. (A thing is real if it is real in its consequences. Even if it’s real bullshit.) And the important thing is not the final choice of One Correct Story; it’s the ability to understand and change and fix our stories. The ability to tell a really rich, detailed, useful, and accurate story of ourselves in our heads.

So a lot of people feel that you have to choose, and one story invalidates the others. If you admit you were harmed, you cannot get better; if you’re getting better, you cannot acknowledge the damage.

And then a lot of people, especially people who have been traumatized, struggle with boundaries. If I say a thing is true about myself, it must also be true about them. So when I call myself “a rape victim”, they feel like I am therefore saying that if they have been raped, they are a victim. And “victim” means they can’t ever get better or be happy.

I don’t know that it’s a nice reason. It’s understandable–when you’re stuck in this kind of trauma!logic it’s not like someone else can very calmly and reasonably point out your logical error and make you go, “Aha, I see, I’ll change”–but it still sucks. It hurts the people who believe it, and it’s incredibly damaging when they push their trauma narratives, or society’s insistence on a simple narrative that doesn’t work, onto you. So if someone is getting up in your face telling you not to use this word for yourself, it turns into, “Your damage is damaging me, and your right to swing your fist ends at my face.”


warpedellipsis
>because it emphasizes what they did, rather than what someone else did to them

I had not heard of that framing. The reasons I’d heard of were “you’re wallowing in your victimhood”, “you’re refusing to get better”, “I want to move on/look to the future/I’m ignoring it”.

>My understanding is that your question is why someone else would object to you defining yourselfthis way.

I didn’t really understand either the self-definition or this, the only reasons I could think of besides the “I want to move on” [and implied malice of you should too, you’re bad PR for us] were all…not nice.

https://web.archive.org/web/2018102...st/170595493891/warpedellipsis-warpedellipsis

Spoiler: more rambling about victimhood

warpedellipsis


Why is there such a huge refusal to acknowledge being a victim. Most of the Nasser women kept going “I’m not a victim”. You were hurt. Victim is a word that said you were hurt by someone else. That you were wrongly hurt, and acknowledges you suffered or still are.

Are people still so twisted that were not allowed to say harm was done, that we suffer? Must everything be magically fixed and never wrong for us to even attempt justice? Do we demand that nobody ask for anything else beyond mere acknowledgement because that would be UNFAIR and TOO MUCH???

What do victims themselves see in it that makes them decide to reject it? Surely it can’t be as dumb as “well if I deny it then nothing IS wrong with me, I’m totally fine”


warpedellipsis
unpredictabloo said:

I think maybe it’s to do with stigma around the word ‘victim’ as something to describe someone who is weak/sensitive/overdramatic. Which is all sorts of messed up.

That’s what I’m dreading. It’s…ganging up on each other because some can say “ohh look at me, I’m not hurt or affected at all like those weakinglings are!! Hahaha oint and laugh, they’re the real problems here, not the people hurting us, but the ones giving us bad press!!!”

It’s feeding into the idea that there’s nothing to be upset about, that there’s no damage these things cause, that there’s nothing wrong with rape, assault, or abuse beyond the moral outrage–and so there’s nothing that should be done about it and no punishment the aggressor ought to suffer or retribution the victim should get.

I really want that to not be the case. It could be that some people just want to move on with their lives, and like getting rid of reminders of it, people don’t want that label because it “keeps them chained to it”. But I doubt that because everyone is picking this stuff up, people who claim to be allies, not just immediate victims. So it’s…probably the first and not this. Cannibalism. Find someone worse off than you and hurt them, so you’ll be respected. Same thing rapists do. Funny how that works.


warpedellipsis
The other thing about this is that the abuser almost always claims to be the victim, YOUR victim. You can’t be a victim, because it’s you who’s the abuser, you who’s evil, you who’s doing the damage, you who’s bringing this all upon yourself, you who deserves this, you who keeps choosing this. YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM.

It’s about being able to own that you were hurt, acknowledge that, for probably the first time ever. That you didn’t deserve it, that you weren’t causing it. That it’s not your fault. That you can get and deserve help. That you can ask for help. That what happened was wrong. That you’re allowed to be angry about it, that you don’t have to accept it. That damage was done to you, and you can be angry about that too.

Why do people nationwide think that’s a horrible thing? Why does it just mean helplessness and weakness? One of the most important things to tell people in bad situations, in recovery, is to make sure they know it’s not their fault, they don’t deserve it, and to give them agency. Agency is paramount in *preventing* trauma, too.

Maybe that’s why people don’t like “being a victim”? Is it because everyone thinks of it as being unable to help yourself, because somehow you should be able to prevent being victimized? That nothing bad should ever happen to you? That’s….you can’t do that. But I see why people recovering from trauma would be drawn to that concept. And not to mention, most people actually do believe that–it’s called the just world fallacy: good things happen to good people, bad things only happen to bad people, etc. That only holds if you believe your own actions prevent bad things from happening to you, ie, that your actions somehow control the serial killer down the street and steer him away from you for some strange reason. You know what that sort of belief is called in sexual crimes? Blaming the victim.

You don’t control other people. That utterly harsh realization is why trauma affects people so badly. You now know what can happen and you know nothing you do can stop it. Sheer insecurity.

Well…shit. Why do people not want to be a “victim”? Same reason people blame victims. Jesus christ. I really don’t want that to be it.


warpedellipsis
Same reason people don’t want to blame victims.

Is it that these people need to reject the insecurity, that they want agency, or is it that they too still believe it was their fault, that it’s internalized blaming?

Both? Some of both types of people?

Does believing that agency means rejecting being a victim necessitate that you believe it was your fault? I don’t think so. You don’t lose agency in knowing you were harmed. You don’t lose agency for having been harmed or for needing help, for not being able to stop the harm or avoid it.

Is the problem that damage and anger are seen as “bad” things, things that you’re supposed to “rise above”, things that “make you no different than them”, the things that make people say “be the bigger person”???

I bet it’s that one. “Anger and hate are monolithically baaaad, not moving on is baaaad, GET OVER IT. Don’t fight hate with hate, don’t stoop to their level, you’re being just like them.” All that garbage. Disappointing.

“You’re being just like them.” Eerily similar to the “You’re the abuser, not the victim.” No wonder it bothers me so much.

not a victim
8 notesFeb 6th, 2018

I got tired of trawling through tumblr. Links
https://web.archive.org/web/2018101.../129082732331/funereal-disease-warpedellipsis
https://web.archive.org/web/2018101...eysiec-there-are-no-groups-that-have-it-worse
https://web.archive.org/web/2018101...721/jeysiec-warpedellipsis-thats-your-problem
https://web.archive.org/web/2018101...e-of-my-favorite-research-projects-i-ever-did
https://web.archive.org/save/http:/...ety-attacks-arent-always-hyperventilating-and

Misc info:
Github Joined in 2015, only public activity is one issue opened.
Profiles on Archive of Our Own, Hacker News (only comment), SoundCloud, etc. nothing of note

 

[Kosher Dill]

Here are the two recordings I had. For those coming late to the thread: she spent weeks recording every conversation she had in her house and posted them all to the interweb as evidence of the "abuse" she was undergoing. I think it actually got to the point where her parents' real-life acquaintances heard about it.

 

[awoo]

Here are the two recordings I had. For those coming late to the thread: she spent weeks recording every conversation she had in her house and posted them all to the interweb as evidence of the "abuse" she was undergoing. I think it actually got to the point where her parents' real-life acquaintances heard about it.

Why why do so many American teenage/adolescent girls have this voice? Vocal fry and exaggerated pitch is so off-putting. It's such an unnatural shrill way of speaking. And sorry for choosing a major that doesn't pay that well.

"general abuse" recording:
"Mom and dad raised you to be a disabled waste of space" holy shit
Blow some more bullshit, Sean
What's the "can't live 20 minutes from mother thing?" Is the brother disabled? Two siblings just continuely flinging shit at each other.

"On mom cruelty": the family argues about the most trivial bullshit like how loud the TV is. Also neither mom nor Nicole are good at making arguments. Nicole is worse. "YOURE CRUEL YOU ARE CRUEL"