I'M MOVING!!!!! - 07/09/20

[Turd Blossom]

How much stuff does Amber Becky really have to move? She just bought 10 new purses, I'm sure that's enough to fit her candles/parfumes/journals in.

I realize you're being cheeky, but when I really stop and think about it, packing is going to be an absolute nightmare for the Thumbservant. Big Al has done nothing but sit atop Mt Pillowmanjaro, bingeeen and adding to her hoard for 2 years: Piles of Wommart jewelry, a mountain of scrunchies, the famed Grockpot among cupboards cluttered with kitchen gadgets she's only used once, her prized Pioneer Woman dishware, every Torrid dress ever made, an entire landfill's worth of beauty box subscriptions, her Mrs Dash collection... And of course all of her essential water accessories: her unused Culligan dispenser, her fancy new water dispenser, her super cyuuute water glasses, her travel mugs (for drinkeen water on-the-go!) and her very important large empty plastic water jugs to painstakingly pour her small plastic water bottles into.

And that's not even considering the countless treasures Becky's earned along the way. The snapbacks and 90's dvd box sets alone will fill up half a u-haul. Good thing Beckster and MommaMeth will have Big Al there helping (and by "helping", I mean "sitting in her recliner", "supervising" and "ordering takeout that Becky has to go pick up".)

I do find it mildly interesting that although she talked briefly about trying to lose a few elbees before her surgery, Amber has yet to mention (as far as I'm aware of) the weightloss surgery referral (other than saying the apt. was a few months out) since bringing it up in her original cancer vid.
I think it's pretty telling that her oncologist felt it was important enough to to get the ball rolling on that on her first visit with Amber. But "skinny people get cancer too" and it'll take awhile for her to recover from her hysterectomy, so I'm betting that Big Al will memory-hole the entire conversation and (if she survives) will go right back to eating like starved hyena once her diseased innards are removed.

 

[Thumb Butler]

Amber claims she and Becky "decided to move out", which even if true is a really shitty move with the corona situation kind of deal.

 

[pr3nt177]

Maybe she means using grated cauliflower as a substitute for rice.

Ah right, thanks for that. Never cooked/had it, so I've learnt something.

 

[lymphadainty]

Tried to be autistic and check court records to see if this was an eviction, but Kentucky fucking sucks compared to any other state court records I've tried to find.

Don't want to powerlevel, but I've been forced to deal with Kentucky courts a lot since the plague. They are they biggest clusterfuck I have ever seen - especially the bumfuck nowhere counties.

Either way, I would crack up if Eric and Ricky moved in with those other lesbians they had been hanging out with. Big Al said something about them having new 'beans' before.

 

[Governor Jeb Bush]

Amber? moving?

how many cranes, darling.

 

[Beetus Knuckles]

Just checked and there’s a moratorium on evictions in KY due to Corona Chan. My guess is that Fat AL didn’t pay the last month’s rent after the fags split because she’s not on the lease and she’s a shitty person. She wants to get while the getting’s good before the ban on evictions expires.

 

[repentance]

Just checked and there’s a moratorium on evictions in KY due to Corona Chan. My guess is that Fat AL didn’t pay the last month’s rent after the fags split because she’s not on the lease and she’s a shitty person. She wants to get while the getting’s good before the ban on evictions expires.

I can't help thinking that methmumma is going to become a long term housemate and that Amber wants to be the one who has control over who comes and goes.

 

[497]

If Eric has a brain in his head, he will spill ALL the tea and it will be tasty! I mean, people would drink it up and he’d be swimming in candle money!

wonder if Eric and Rickie are still on good terms with Becky though.they've been best friends since high school so I hope Becky wouldn't pick hos before her bros. if so they might not spill anything just yet. Becky was making a man cave in the basement to get away from AL though... maybe it's just AL moving like when her and Dusty broke up?

 

[Tumbo]

She's moving but still doesn't have the foresight to get a proper bed something that will be indispensable in the coming days. unfucking believable.

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

i dunno. this whole moving thing is super sus - especially with it being days before a major surgery. and they chose to live farther from the hospital?? bitch is going to wish she was dead on that car ride home from the hysterectomy; gonna feel every single bump.
and, like, what if she doesn’t survive the surgery? all that wasted time and money.. becky can’t afford the rent.

Post-surgery Big Al is going to be a goldmine for us farmers.

i wonder if AL has a will yet.

You know she doesn't. That takes forethought and the only thought she has for is food.

I realize you're being cheeky, but when I really stop and think about it, packing is going to be an absolute nightmare for the Thumbservant.

I bet a good deal of it will be packed into redneck/white trash moving boxes - aka garbage bags.

I do find it mildly interesting that although she talked briefly about trying to lose a few elbees before her surgery, Amber has yet to mention (as far as I'm aware of) the weightloss surgery referral (other than saying the apt. was a few months out) since bringing it up in her original cancer vid.
I think it's pretty telling that her oncologist felt it was important enough to to get the ball rolling on that on her first visit with Amber. But "skinny people get cancer too" and it'll take awhile for her to recover from her hysterectomy, so I'm betting that Big Al will memory-hole the entire conversation and (if she survives) will go right back to eating like starved hyena once her diseased innards are removed.

I will go out on a limb and say that Big Al will never - ever - lose any significant weight and keep it off. This should go right up there with things like the theory of gravity or relativity: a given.

Amber claims she and Becky "decided to move out", which even if true is a really shitty move with the corona situation kind of deal.

I call bullshit on this. They're leaving because they're not on the lease but Ricky (at least) is, and the guys decided to bug out first. Unnamed roommates not on the lease? The landlord says "See ya!" I do not, however, think they're being kicked out for failing to pay rent. They're just being kicked out because the landlord has SEEN Big Al and her butler, and he doesn't want any part of that.

Edit to add something that came to mind while I was blissfully having my coffee: I don't feel sorry for Becky in that she's wound up in the position of caretaker. I do feel a bit of a twinge that she allowed Big Al to absolutely wreck her relationship with Ricky and Eric. Then I remind myself: this was her choice. She made it, just like Big Al made all the choices to stuff crap food into her piehole. And the faint twinge goes away.

 

[Punkinsplice]

If Eric has a brain in his head, he will spill ALL the tea and it will be tasty! I mean, people would drink it up and he’d be swimming in candle money!

Well, she has cancer. He probably doesn't want to look like a total asshole by dishing tea on a dying gorl. He also cares about Becky.

 

[GeorgiaGuidestones]

Hmm. Maybe Big Al "fainted" and landed on Chubs or Trixie.....smushed dog everywhere. That would be plenty for E&R to wanna kill her and fuck off......

If I may play on this theory. I’m wondering if either D and D smushed a dog by passing out, Rickie finally snapped and the fun times of fag shanty became a distant memory. The boys said fuck off and D and D went bye bye.

Eric, spill the tea.

 

[Wit Shoes]

Without little housewife Eric around cleaning the place, I await with morbid delight the pig sty that our gorl will be living in soon.

Not doxxing...but what area do Becky's family live in? Still in Kentucky?

 

[Skippy1931]

I thought she couldn't surprise me anymore... Whatever the reason they're moving, only a certified exceptional idiot would move BY CHOICE a few days before surgery. Surgery is stressful enough & I'm curious - she has to have a CoVD test 3 days pre-op, then quarantine until she's admitted. How is she pulling that off with a move so close to surgery? It makes no sense.

It could result in her surgery being postponed. Wait. Amber lies. And no clerk is going to take the time to match addresses on older forms to ones generated by her surgery admission.

I'd guessed she was having her surgery next Monday & it sounds like it's between Monday-Wednesday. That gives her only 2.5 weeks more of Momma to help... unless the next big revelation is that Momma is staying. Man - if that's the case, the "revenge on Momma" arc will be wild as she passively-aggressively talks shit about her mom.

The only bodies that move will stress will be Becky's & Mommas. Just as well there's no furniture to move.

Eager to see their chosen style of décor.

Even if they buy the bare minimum, that's a lot of money outgoing at the worst possible time.

Moving is a great excuse for continuing to intuitively gorge.

All the shit jobs - cleaning garbage cans, cutting the grass & other typical house related chores will now fall on Becky without Rickie around.

A lit microbiology sperging. When you live somewhere, your immune system gets used to the resident bacteria, virus & fungi & every location has their own unique populations. She will be returned to a new house with 'new' germs & has just radically increased her chances of infection.

Can't even lift a cup full of beverage for "weeks"? Utter bullshit but how is Becky going to know that when Momma has been going to appointments with Amber instead? You can't lift over say... 7 lbs. for several weeks but you don't need to be hand fed peeled grapes or anything like that. She's setting up for a prolonged period of total dependence. And we all know she's going to ride that pony until it drops dead. I'd love to see a video, (yeah, I'm a bitch - deal), of Becky trying to feed her - she won't have time to refill the fork before "baby bird Amber" is shrieking for more.

Tighten your seltbelts & grab a sick bag - we're in for a wild ride.

this is such bullshit you can't lift more then 10 pounds and that was cut from hip bone to hip bone when I had mine she can lift a fucking cup she doesn't want to I'm betting because of covid she is in these apts alone and will make anything up so her lazy ass doesn't have to do anything

 

[Goon]

She has to be renting. There is no way a mortgage lender would look at her iffy career prospects, shitty to nonexistent credit, and history of bill dodging and decide that shes someone to risk a mortgage on. And if they did, then I guess inbreeding is more common there than I had imagined.

She could if she paid cash. About a 15-20 day interval from choosing a house to closing for cash. But if she tried to take out a mortgage...you are correct.

 

[TomatilloSalsa]

I realize you're being cheeky, but when I really stop and think about it, packing is going to be an absolute nightmare for the Thumbservant. Big Al has done nothing but sit atop Mt Pillowmanjaro, bingeeen and adding to her hoard for 2 years: Piles of Wommart jewelry, a mountain of scrunchies, the famed Grockpot among cupboards cluttered with kitchen gadgets she's only used once, her prized Pioneer Woman dishware, every Torrid dress ever made, an entire landfill's worth of beauty box subscriptions, her Mrs Dash collection... And of course all of her essential water accessories: her unused Culligan dispenser, her fancy new water dispenser, her super cyuuute water glasses, her travel mugs (for drinkeen water on-the-go!) and her very important large empty plastic water jugs to painstakingly pour her small plastic water bottles into.

And that's not even considering the countless treasures Becky's earned along the way. The snapbacks and 90's dvd box sets alone will fill up half a u-haul. Good thing Beckster and MommaMeth will have Big Al there helping (and by "helping", I mean "sitting in her recliner", "supervising" and "ordering takeout that Becky has to go pick up".)

If I were Becky I'd just throw half of that shit away to save time/effort. AL doesn't remember it and won't miss it or notice that it's not there in their new place. Keep the stuff on the tops of the piles and at the front of the cabinets and closets because that's the recent stuff she's aware of; the stuff hiding that hasn't been seen in years can just be shoved in black garbage bags and left in the dumpster behind Legionnaire's Garden Chinese Buffet.

I assume a U-Haul truck will be involved. Becky is probably having to go inside the rental office, go in and out of Wommart for odds and ends like boxes and packing tape and batteries and bubble wrap, be getting AL takeout for 3+ meals a day since they probably boxed up the kitchen stuff and aren't cooking.

Becky will be sore and tired from moving and then get to go straight to the hospital with AL for her surgery and then cart her back to their new apartment/trailer and wait on her hand and foot while trying to unpack.

 

[Super Book]

I can't help thinking that methmumma is going to become a long term housemate and that Amber wants to be the one who has control over who comes and goes.

I can't image how awkward it would be if mammalynn decided to stick around. Would Amber try to kick her out of the house if things got out of hand?

 

[The Cum Consumer]

this is such bullshit you can't lift more then 10 pounds and that was cut from hip bone to hip bone when I had mine she can lift a fucking cup she doesn't want to I'm betting because of covid she is in these apts alone and will make anything up so her lazy ass doesn't have to do anything

How heavy do you think her arms are, because I wouldn't be surprised if it was geniunely too heavy for her to lift up after the surgery.

 

[Mandaark]

Maybe D&D or Amber broke something and that caused the fight
And then the landlord said k get out

 

[RIPRhongoBongo]

Boy, getting the stank and old crotch remains out for the final cleaning is going to be rough. Gonna need a major hazmat situation type deal