Idiot Journalist is Bad at Cuphead - Blames Video Game

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Crazy Diamond said:
Well Dean felt the need to make an article on this https://venturebeat.com/2017/09/08/the-deanbeat-our-cuphead-runneth-over/
My favorite part of this, however is this View attachment 276526
He actually wants to make tutorials easier. The part of the games that are intentionally designed to be easy.
Click to expand...
I'm trying to think of how to make the game easier for him to understand. The tutorial has everything written out for him in the background so the only thing that is left is to give him immediate feedback on when he failed to do something correctly. By that I mean have the game take control away from the player every single time he fails part of the tutorial; IE the game pauses if he hits the ground in the jump + dash section, large text appears on screen letting him know which buttons to press and when and a voice also explains this. If he tries to push any other buttons while it explains, the text will now read "STOP PUSHING BUTTONS AND LISTEN". If he doesn't listen a very loud voice saying "PUT DOWN THE CONTROLLER AND LISTEN" interrupts and the tutorial restarts. After all this he is reset to the platform and given back control. The game will repeat this every time he fails the jump or any other part of the tutorial.

As for adjustable difficulty? This might be more his speed.
 
Y'know, the very first time you play some games, you'll be pretty sloppy at them, mess up a few times, whatever. But after about ten or fifteen minutes, most people have gotten past that stage and are kicking some ass.
This guy is at utter noob level after nearly half an hour. He is, in short, a pussy. So I found a nice little waifu pillow for him.
Pantimakura-Weird-Dakimakura-1.jpg
 
American Lollinator Mace said:
Y'know, the very first time you play some games, you'll be pretty sloppy at them, mess up a few times, whatever. But after about ten or fifteen minutes, most people have gotten past that stage and are kicking some ass.
This guy is at utter noob level after nearly half an hour. He is, in short, a pussy. So I found a nice little waifu pillow for him.
Pantimakura-Weird-Dakimakura-1.jpg
Click to expand...
playing a real stage isn't even what bugs me
it's that fucking cylinder he jumped into 20 times
anyone with more than 5 brain cells would have realized they were too low and needed nearby elevated terrain.
 
In Wisconsin, there is an old joke about how you can tell when a redneck up there is about to be severely hurt. It's a distinct sound and once you hear it, you will never unhear it. It's the sound of a guy saying, "Here honey, hold my beer and watch this."
This Takahashi guy has the same thing. Before he plays a game with the slightest difficulty he says to someone near by, "Here, hold my testicles and watch this."
 
Crazy Diamond said:
Well Dean felt the need to make an article on this https://venturebeat.com/2017/09/08/the-deanbeat-our-cuphead-runneth-over/
My favorite part of this, however is this View attachment 276526
He actually wants to make tutorials easier. The part of the games that are intentionally designed to be easy.
Click to expand...
While Dean can say gamers are all being assholes because of his crappy attempt at playing Cuphead, he's still doing nothing more than deflecting the fact that 1) he showed DSP levels of skill at playing the game and 2) it's not going to excuse the fact he's trying to double-down and justify his skill. While gamers are a spergy and autistic lot, he's not really doing himself any good in avoiding the fact he could just admit that he played the game the same way DSP plays.

As for making tutorials easier, he may as well just admit to playing it like a child that didn't read the directions. They were right there on the screen.
 
The white knights are out in full force today. Surprise, surprise, they're all awkward looking white dudes!

dean1.PNG

dean2.PNG

dean3.PNG


What a bunch of faggots.
 
This guy failing to admit he sucks at games is only second to him failing so hard at the world's easiest tutorial.

Seriously though I've never seen someone get so butt hurt over being called out on how shitty they were at the game. He could have easily had just said "haha, you're right I blew it, I was having a bad day". That's too easy for these people though. :P
 
Sucking at a game is one thing but to make the same stubborn mistake repeatedly is a whole new level.
 
Who passed the rule that you get to be utterly incompetent at your job and not be laughed at for it?

Because I never agreed to that and I'm not going along with that dumb horseshit.
 
I actually agree that being able to play games well shouldnt be criteria for being a game reviewer.

What I disagree with is sucking shit at video games and then getting upset when people make fun of you for it. Admit you suck and move on. Don't make it about harassment and other shit.

Edited for clarity
 
Honestly, I think dsp is better at games than this guy. not by much, mind you, but managing to be worse than dsp, even if slightly, is a fucking feat on itself.
 
Nazi vegeta said:
Honestly, I think dsp is better at games than this guy. not by much, mind you, but managing to be worse than dsp, even if slightly, is a fucking feat on itself.
Click to expand...
i want DSP to play this game, if DSP does better i will laugh my head off
 
Crazy Diamond said:
Well Dean felt the need to make an article on this https://venturebeat.com/2017/09/08/the-deanbeat-our-cuphead-runneth-over/
My favorite part of this, however is this View attachment 276526
He actually wants to make tutorials easier. The part of the games that are intentionally designed to be easy.
Click to expand...
At this rate, you might as well let the AI play through the tutorial with pixel perfect accuracy without your consent if you want to babify tutorials even more.
 
Crazy Diamond said:
Well Dean felt the need to make an article on this https://venturebeat.com/2017/09/08/the-deanbeat-our-cuphead-runneth-over/
My favorite part of this, however is this View attachment 276526
He actually wants to make tutorials easier. The part of the games that are intentionally designed to be easy.
Click to expand...
If anything, this shows how out of touch these guys are with their supposed audience. Most gamers skip tutorials anyway, unless either it's done in an amusing\creative way or it's for a more complex genre (fighting games, simulators, the likes).

bird said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=OOjXaAZHEQE

because this is too good to ever die
Click to expand...

Okay, this is ridiculous. Most kindergartners with no prior gaming experience or motor skills can figure out that you have to use a shorter platform to jump on a taller one within seconds. Hell, my friend's grandma was figuring out New Super Mario Bros quicker when she was already 60... and it was her first ever platformer. People who grew up surrounded with games and electronic doodads have no excuse for this. Well, at least it is pretty funny.
 
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