🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[autism420]

You really don't get it, do you? I wanted more. But in The System, wanting more is wrong. Ambition is bad. Showing initiative is discouraged. Whether on the job or in a relationship, to try to grab more than they see fit to give you is a cardinal sin, and punished harshly. After leaving school I spent years trying to get back together with Ashleigh. I even agreed to work in that small engine repair shop for barely any pay because I believed it would show her father I was worthy to be with her.

This is probably the stupidest thing he has ever said. This excerpt all but confirms that he is mentally deficient.

 

[DrJonesHat]

This is probably the stupidest thing he has ever said. This excerpt all but confirms that he is mentally deficient.

It's the classic excuse of the lazy. "I would have been great, but the system kept me down!" That he believes this indicates that he'll never rise above his present circumstances.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Maybe your new pal Dr. Merkwurdichliebe can ask them for me, hm? Have him ask, while you're at it, why, if I was such a disruptive, undisciplined nuisance, why did they keep promoting me?

Mr. Sweet was not repeatedly promoted at The Herald. At a tiny, twice-weekly college publication, he would have been the managing editor after a couple of promotions. This is simply another of his long-held and firmly entrenched delusions, like the idea that people who were harassing him were his "fans," like the idea that writing a lunatic column at a college paper makes him a journalist, like the idea that his performance art -- barely distinguishable from a cretin having a grand mal seizure, according to all accounts -- made him a campus celebrity.

The only reason Mr. Sweet worked at the paper at all was because he was brought in by his "mentor," a nontraditional student in his forties who greatly pitied the utterly pathetic creature that was -- and is -- Jonathan Sweet. After Mr. Sweet's monstrous treatment of the yearbook photographer, his "mentor" -- the person solely responsible for the monster's presence -- left the paper. At that point, Mr. Sweet's days were numbered. No one else -- either at the paper or on the campus -- could abide his aggressively obnoxious and intentionally disruptive presence. It was very bad planning on Mr. Sweet's part to return to the paper and turn in a plagiarized column, from the consequences of which not even his so-called mentor would have been able to save him.

I am honored that Mr. Sweet considers me to be the Kiwis' "new pal."

 

[Chan the Wizard]

I know it's all delusional, but has Sweets ever said what his promotions were? The titles.

 

[Le Bateleur]

Mr. Sweet was not repeatedly promoted at The Herald. At a tiny, twice-weekly college publication, he would have been the managing editor after a couple of promotions. This is simply another of his long-held and firmly entrenched delusions, like the idea that people who were harassing him were his "fans," like the idea that writing a lunatic column at a college paper makes him a journalist, like the idea that his performance art -- barely distinguishable from a cretin having a grand mal seizure, according to all accounts -- made him a campus celebrity.

The only reason Mr. Sweet worked at the paper at all was because he was brought in by his "mentor," a nontraditional student in his forties who greatly pitied the utterly pathetic creature that was -- and is -- Jonathan Sweet. After Mr. Sweet's monstrous treatment of the yearbook photographer, his "mentor" -- the person solely responsible for the monster's presence -- left the paper. At that point, Mr. Sweet's days were numbered. No one else -- either at the paper or on the campus -- could abide his aggressively obnoxious and intentionally disruptive presence. It was very bad planning on Mr. Sweet's part to return to the paper and turn in a plagiarized column, from the consequences of which not even his so-called mentor would have been able to save him.

I am honored that Mr. Sweet considers me to be the Kiwis' "new pal."

Aside from being our new pal, you are veritably the New Bad Boy of College Journalism Journalism. Your work in piecing together the puzzle of Sweet Bro has been fantastic.

Incidentally, Sweet does indeed have an editor.

Spoiler: Behold

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

I'd like to take a moment and add my voice to those that say that the contributions of ASU and Dr. Merkwurdichliebe have been awesome. Very illuminating stuff!

Also, Absinthe, good find. Incidentally, I clicked the link and AAAAAAAGH! IT'S JUST A HEAD!! IT'S COMING AFTER ME! IT'S COMING OUT OF THE SCREEN!!!

Ever see the Church of the Subgenius guy? I wonder if that's the look Tucker's going for.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

I clicked the link and AAAAAAAGH! IT'S JUST A HEAD!! IT'S COMING AFTER ME! IT'S COMING OUT OF THE SCREEN!!!

Ever see the Church of the Subgenius guy? I wonder if that's the look Tucker's going for.

I'm gonna guess that Mr. Tucker watched Zardoz one time too many while tripping.

 

[Meowthkip]

Mr. Sweet was not repeatedly promoted at The Herald. At a tiny, twice-weekly college publication, he would have been the managing editor after a couple of promotions. This is simply another of his long-held and firmly entrenched delusions, like the idea that people who were harassing him were his "fans," like the idea that writing a lunatic column at a college paper makes him a journalist, like the idea that his performance art -- barely distinguishable from a cretin having a grand mal seizure, according to all accounts -- made him a campus celebrity.

The only reason Mr. Sweet worked at the paper at all was because he was brought in by his "mentor," a nontraditional student in his forties who greatly pitied the utterly pathetic creature that was -- and is -- Jonathan Sweet. After Mr. Sweet's monstrous treatment of the yearbook photographer, his "mentor" -- the person solely responsible for the monster's presence -- left the paper. At that point, Mr. Sweet's days were numbered. No one else -- either at the paper or on the campus -- could abide his aggressively obnoxious and intentionally disruptive presence. It was very bad planning on Mr. Sweet's part to return to the paper and turn in a plagiarized column, from the consequences of which not even his so-called mentor would have been able to save him.

I am honored that Mr. Sweet considers me to be the Kiwis' "new pal."

Every time I learn the truth about something Sweet harps on incessantly, I am filled with a sense of glee.

It's clearly rustling his jimmies pretty good and I love it.

 

[Le Bateleur]

Every time I learn the truth about something Sweet harps on incessantly, I am filled with a sense of glee.

It's clearly rustling his jimmies pretty good and I love it.

It could almost be a story from one of his anthologies: an embittered old former college newspaperman in the South spirals into rage as the truth about his dark past is revealed by an anonymous group who use the very journalilstic techniques he had aspired to perfect.

I actually really want him to write this, now - and for it to be full of super-accurate Fox News based internet culture research. Like how the notorious hacker Four Chan helped the group by backtracing the headers.

 

[Holdek]

I know it's all delusional, but has Sweets ever said what his promotions were? The titles.

First title: Cartoonist

Second: Bad Boy Columnist

Third: Banned

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

OK, my new pals, let's set the Wayback Machine for half-past 1997.

What was Mr. Sweet's behavior like outside the confines of The Herald, where he has freely admitted to acting like a revolting creep of the first water?

Not surprisingly, according to those who were there, it was bizarre in the extreme.

He performed for his adoring public three times a day in the cafeteria. If he didn't jump up and launch into one of his impromptu "homages," he would nonetheless command attention with his grotesque table manners and other dining rituals, all of which essentially shouted, "I'm mentally ill!" As his fellow students averted their eyes in embarrassed silence, Mr. Sweet carried on as if he were receiving a standing ovation.

If there was a free event on campus, Mr. Sweet was in attendance. Your only hope of avoiding him was if there were two or more free events at the same time and you made a lucky choice. At these events, as everywhere else, Mr. Sweet ensured that all eyes and all ears were aware of his presence. If an academic department or a student group brought in a speaker, Mr. Sweet was there, first in line to ask questions that were either off-topic, weird or downright inappropriate. If the event was social in nature, Mr. Sweet, looking like a young Fidel Castro recently emerged from the jungles, would show up and behave as if he was some kind of off-brand superhero whose sole power was to guarantee that no one present had a good time. He almost always succeeded. It got to the point where some people would leave the instant he made his presence loudly and unmistakably known.

Strangely, in class Mr. Sweet behaved almost normally. He did not interrupt the liberal/progressive professors as they brainwashed his fellow students with their baneful ideology; he did not attempt to entertain the class; he kept his racist political views under tight wraps. This clearly indicates that he is capable of moderating his behavior in other settings but chooses not to. I am going to adopt as a working hypothesis the proposition that, during middle school or high school, Mr. Sweet's outbursts in class led to an encounter -- or a series of encounters -- with a vice principal/football coach (possibly -- The horror! The horror! -- a terrifying black man) wielding what -- in Arkansas -- would have been jocularly described as "the board of education."

Despite his hatred of the place, Mr. Sweet is very fortunate that he attended Arkansas State University. His behavior would not have been tolerated at most colleges and universities. I've mentioned before how his treatment of the yearbook photographer would have been dealt with in the newsroom at my alma mater. His other activities on campus would have quickly drawn the attention of faculty and staff who would have reported him to our equivalent of his dean of judicial affairs. And the resident advisers in his dorm would have certainly filed reports of their own. (Can you imagine being Mr. Sweet's roommate?) He would have disappeared from campus within a matter of weeks.

Does this mean the whole Baker murdered by poison thing (provided by the wiki link) can be excused as bullshit?

I assume so because there's hardly any citations on that page.

You've got to wonder how Mr. Sweet stumbled onto that stuff. It's all part and parcel of a really, really stupid conspiracy theory (OK, on second thought, it's easy to see why Mr. Sweet would be drawn to it) that has Lincoln being assassinated by his secretary of war, Edwin Stanton. Lafayette Curry Baker supposedly found out about the conspiracy and had to be poisoned to silence him. Membership in that particular conspiracy club requires applicants to supply their own tricorne tinfoil hats with optional ostrich plumes.

The scientist who "proved" that Baker had been poisoned with arsenic happened to be -- what a coincidence! -- one of the chief proponents of the idiotic conspiracy theory. His analysis of Baker's hair revealed just what he needed it to reveal in order to further his revisionist history crusade. No one takes this stuff seriously.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

He performed for his adoring public three times a day in the cafeteria. If he didn't jump up and launch into one of his impromptu "homages," he would nonetheless command attention with his grotesque table manners and other dining rituals, all of which essentially shouted, "I'm mentally ill!" As his fellow students averted their eyes in embarrassed silence, Mr. Sweet carried on as if he were receiving a standing ovation.

At these events, as everywhere else, Mr. Sweet ensured that all eyes and all ears were aware of his presence. If an academic department or a student group brought in a speaker, Mr. Sweet was there, first in line to ask questions that were either off-topic, weird or downright inappropriate.

It got to the point where some people would leave the instant he made his presence loudly and unmistakably known.

Good lord ....

He's an attention whore. No, seriously, Jon Sweet was, and continues to be, an attention whore. For the love of mike, Chris kept to himself at least! The whole point of the Attraction Signs was so that he could sit and do whatever he wanted while the fly honeyz jumped up all on his jock. But Sweet went out of his way to attract attention. Three times a day? Three?! I'm surprised they didn't throw him out sooner.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Wow. With all the attention Sweet drew to himself and knowing Sweet's behavior, it's no wonder that there'd be people trolling Sweet IRL, like stuffing coins in the door thing, defacing the Pamela Anderson poster, the falling garbage can incident, among other stuff they did.

I wonder what it'd be like if there were smartphones and Youtube back in the 90s and certain antics were recorded and posted online?

 

[John Titor]

OK, my new pals, let's set the Wayback Machine for half-past 1997.

What was Mr. Sweet's behavior like outside the confines of The Herald, where he has freely admitted to acting like a revolting creep of the first water?

Not surprisingly, according to those who were there, it was bizarre in the extreme.

He performed for his adoring public three times a day in the cafeteria. If he didn't jump up and launch into one of his impromptu "homages," he would nonetheless command attention with his grotesque table manners and other dining rituals, all of which essentially shouted, "I'm mentally ill!" As his fellow students averted their eyes in embarrassed silence, Mr. Sweet carried on as if he were receiving a standing ovation.

If there was a free event on campus, Mr. Sweet was in attendance. Your only hope of avoiding him was if there were two or more free events at the same time and you made a lucky choice. At these events, as everywhere else, Mr. Sweet ensured that all eyes and all ears were aware of his presence. If an academic department or a student group brought in a speaker, Mr. Sweet was there, first in line to ask questions that were either off-topic, weird or downright inappropriate. If the event was social in nature, Mr. Sweet, looking like a young Fidel Castro recently emerged from the jungles, would show up and behave as if he was some kind of off-brand superhero whose sole power was to guarantee that no one present had a good time. He almost always succeeded. It got to the point where some people would leave the instant he made his presence loudly and unmistakably known.

Strangely, in class Mr. Sweet behaved almost normally. He did not interrupt the liberal/progressive professors as they brainwashed his fellow students with their baneful ideology; he did not attempt to entertain the class; he kept his racist political views under tight wraps. This clearly indicates that he is capable of moderating his behavior in other settings but chooses not to. I am going to adopt as a working hypothesis the proposition that, during middle school or high school, Mr. Sweet's outbursts in class led to an encounter -- or a series of encounters -- with a vice principal/football coach (possibly -- The horror! The horror! -- a terrifying black man) wielding what -- in Arkansas -- would have been jocularly described as "the board of education."

Despite his hatred of the place, Mr. Sweet is very fortunate that he attended Arkansas State University. His behavior would not have been tolerated at most colleges and universities. I've mentioned before how his treatment of the yearbook photographer would have been dealt with in the newsroom at my alma mater. His other activities on campus would have quickly drawn the attention of faculty and staff who would have reported him to our equivalent of his dean of judicial affairs. And the resident advisers in his dorm would have certainly filed reports of their own. (Can you imagine being Mr. Sweet's roommate?) He would have disappeared from campus within a matter of weeks.

I must know, how were you able to procure such information?

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Gore supports restrictive tax code laws, advocates partial-birth abortions, believes the internal combustion engine to be the greatest threat to mankind, and has placed his support behind the TV ratings system. This last one has done more to destroy lives than any other piece of legislation in at least a decade.

Somehow we have all missed this thread from 2001 on Snopes. It was written 14 years ago, but reads as if it were posted today. That takes skill. In a subsequent post, he explains that the TV ratings destroy lives "by existing." Logic in its purest form.

When Mr. Sweet -- posting as "Nostradamus" -- was questioned about his odd assertion about the TV rating system, much hilarity ensued. Search for the word causation in the Snopes thread; it is a brilliant response, and leads me to think -- along with the following -- that some of you have been on Mr. Sweet's case for a Very Long Time. Below is my other favorite among the replies:


quoteriginally posted by Nostradamus:
I was a columnist for the Arkansas State University Herald from Aug 1996 to Feb 1997.

Must. Stay. Calm. Will. Not. Insult. Must take this seriously.

quote:

After I submitted a piece on TV ratings, a copy editor claimed I stole the idea from a sketch on Saturday Night Live. I protested, insisting I'd never seen the sketch in question and didn't believe it to exist.

OK, so an article you wrote was questioned. Somebody said, hey, I've seen this before.
If nothing else, it wasn't an original idea. It doesn't seem they accused you of plagarism, but of having an unoriginal thought. Get over it.

quote:

After I sent several letters demanding evidence of these charges and a fair, properly-conducted hearing, I was forced to seek psychological counseling twice, had my records frozen, and had to leave college before I could go for my master's degree.

Hmmm. You simply requested a fair hearing. In response, the college acted totally irrationally, sent you to a psychiatrist against your will, and tossed you out. Why do I get the feeling you may be leaving out just a teensy, tiny part of the story?

quote:

There was a massive liberal cover-up and conspiracy to keep the truth about "the phantom sketch" hushed, and the faculty advisor paid off the copy editor and several other editors with promotions and jobs after graduation to perpetrate the lie.

First off, a little bit of copy editing. It's adviser. Note it is er, not or. OK. (Just another one of my language munchkins.)

Now then, are you really that important? A massive coverup about an article written by a college newspaper columnist somewhere in Arkansas? (Ahah, Clinton must be behind it!) And by the way, what makes it "liberal"? And why? Were you ready to blow the lid off some nefarious dealings in the TV business? So much so that a mere copy editor at said college newspaper undertook the massive coverup, first by comparing it to an old Saturday Night Live routine?

"Hey Woodward. Bernstein. Get in here. This story you have about the president having a slush fund to pay off people breaking the law? I saw that skit on Saturday Night Live. Yeah, Ackroyd played Nixon and John Belushi was Attorney General Mitchell." Tosses story in the trash. "OK you guys, go see the shrink on the third floor."

quote:

That is how the TV ratings destroy lives ... by existing. If they had never been created I'd be a successful young journalist today.

But don't you know? If it hadn't been TV ratings, it would have been something else. The secret liberal cabal would have found some way to silence you. You just stepped into our trap earlier. Hah hah. Hah hah hah. HAH HAH HAH!

quote:

Now I'm just an outcast fighting to find a way to get the message of truth out to the masses: TV ratings are evil and I sincerely hope G.W. passes legislation to get rid of them.

Tax cuts? Let 'em wait. A military spending review? Not very important. The economy going down the tubes as the stock market crashes? Put it on hold.
We must pass legislation to destroy the TV ratings system!! Only then will we be free of sweeps month Hallmark Hall of Fame glurge!!

quote:

All my other facts are true; the liberal media just keeps them silent. When a conservative female poll worker in Miami criticized Gore's people, they immediately discredited her with slurs about her intelligence, her hairstyle, her makeup, and her physical appearance. These are the people who supposedly champion women and minorities? She's ugly, so her opinions don't matter! Nyah! That's the liberal's greatest weapon: the three D's (disavow, discredit, destroy). Actually it's about their only weapon, since they have no logic.

And in the face of this superior logic, words fail me. Just one question: If the media is so good at supressing all this news, how is it that you know it?

BTW, did you see your friend Mr. Prozac today?

I must know, how were you able to procure such information?

My web of informants grows. Those who encountered Mr. Sweet do not forget him. He will be very happy to learn this disturbing fact.

If you can find a student who attended ASU during Mr. Sweet's time there, show him or her a photo of our hero. If the student lived off-campus, didn't major in liberal arts and wasn't into attending every free event on campus, you might get a startled look and "What's he wanted for?" in response. But those who had classes with him, watched him eat, worked at The Herald while he was there or encountered him through some other unfortunate set of circumstances, well, they remember.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I wonder what those "homages" that Sweet performed involved?

 

[Ca Ira]

I wonder what those "homages" that Sweet performed involved?

My initial thought is that this might refer to something like that celebrity impersonation that was interrupted by a flying trash can.

 

[ASU]

Mr. Sweet was not repeatedly promoted at The Herald. At a tiny, twice-weekly college publication, he would have been the managing editor after a couple of promotions.

Could it be that at first, in an effort to keep the peace, they moved him to different departments within the Herald due to complaints from the other staff members, and the way they explained it to him was that he was getting promoted?

 

[Francis York Morgan]

Wow. With all the attention Sweet drew to himself and knowing Sweet's behavior, it's no wonder that there'd be people trolling Sweet IRL, like stuffing coins in the door thing, defacing the Pamela Anderson poster, the falling garbage can incident, among other stuff they did.

I wonder what it'd be like if there were smartphones and Youtube back in the 90s and certain antics were recorded and posted online?

In a way, Sweets is very lucky that he wasn't attending ASU during a time where smartphones are common. He could have easily been another CWC if he had been documented in the same way.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

My initial thought is that this might refer to something like that celebrity impersonation that was interrupted by a flying trash can.

I'm assuming it's his award winning Andrew Dice Clay impersonation.