🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Folks, I'm going to go ahead and address something that's been on my mind for a little while now. It's a sensitive subject, so if I come across as callous or out-of-line, I sincerely apologize, but I just wanted to get your thoughts on the matter.

I'm pretty comfortable assuming the general consensus is that Jon Sweet is not an attractive man. He looks like an albino suppository covered with moss, with about eight feet of neck where his jaw should be. Now, looks are subjective, sure - but I can't help bu wonder if there isn't something genuinely wrong with Sweet's neck and face. Like, birth defect wrong.

Consider the following photos. I've included some indicators to demonstrate what I'm getting at.

See what I'm saying? I don't know what it is, but it looks to me that Jon has a certain tendency to crank his neck to one side. It seems less intentional than something he naturally does. I'm honestly not making fun of Sweet here - it was just something that caught my attention. Thoughts?

 

[Ruin]

Could it be the tism? Lots of Chris Trans old photo's have him leaning his head slightly to one side too.

 

[Mister Lister]

I still don't really understand how a person can actively choose to look like that, with the patchy sewer-rat facial hair and pedo frames. It seems to be a running theme with lolcows, especially those glasses.

He looks like a chinless Jeffrey Dahmer upwind from a charity pube shave.

 

[Francis York Morgan]

See what I'm saying? I don't know what it is, but it looks to me that Jon has a certain tendency to crank his neck to one side. It seems less intentional than something he naturally does. I'm honestly not making fun of Sweet here - it was just something that caught my attention. Thoughts?

He could have some sort of untreated thyroid condition. I get the feeling that Sweet hasn't seen many doctors in his life especially when one considers that he likely is an undiagnosed autistic.

 

[Le Bateleur]

He could have some sort of untreated thyroid condition. I get the feeling that Sweet hasn't seen many doctors in his life especially when one considers that he likely is an undiagnosed autistic.

The medical situation interests me, too. Sweet gets SSI, probably for a respiratory condition, so he should be eligible for free or cheap healthcare. He doesn't seem to engage much with it, or to have much awareness of the environmental factors affecting his health.
He describes his room as lacking a window, with holes in the walls and a damp patch on the ceiling, but always blames his laryngitis on spending too much time outdoors one summer.
Maybe it's an attitude he gets from his mother - she has COPD but smoked until a cardiac episode in 2012 or 2013.

 

[Holdek]

His brother, who's been in and out of jail on drug and DUI charges, is "a law-and-order liberal?" Mr. Sweet lives in a wilderness of strawmen.

Heh, strawmen of his own origination, too. Is there such thing as a "law-and-order liberal" stereotype? I've heard of "law-and-order conservatives," and "nanny state liberals" but that's not the same thing.

Folks, I'm going to go ahead and address something that's been on my mind for a little while now. It's a sensitive subject, so if I come across as callous or out-of-line, I sincerely apologize, but I just wanted to get your thoughts on the matter.

I'm pretty comfortable assuming the general consensus is that Jon Sweet is not an attractive man. He looks like an albino suppository covered with moss, with about eight feet of neck where his jaw should be. Now, looks are subjective, sure - but I can't help bu wonder if there isn't something genuinely wrong with Sweet's neck and face. Like, birth defect wrong.

Consider the following photos. I've included some indicators to demonstrate what I'm getting at.

View attachment 14817 View attachment 14818 View attachment 14819 View attachment 14820View attachment 14821


See what I'm saying? I don't know what it is, but it looks to me that Jon has a certain tendency to crank his neck to one side. It seems less intentional than something he naturally does. I'm honestly not making fun of Sweet here - it was just something that caught my attention. Thoughts?

One thing to remember is that these are all posed photographs, so it may just be a thing he does when his photo is being taken.

 

[The I Scream Man]

Heh, strawmen of his own origination, too. Is there such thing as a "law-and-order liberal" stereotype? I've heard of "law-and-order conservatives," and "nanny state liberals" but that's not the same thing.

Yes, it's defined as "anyone who doesn't let Jon Thumb/Gaben/Chris Chan/who the fuck ever get his way at any time." The names change but the game remains the same: anyone who says "no" to these people is a bully or a troll or whatever else they wanna call their so-called oppressors. It's a defining lolcow trait, isn't it? This inability to accept things that are beyond their control.

Really I feel tons of sympathy for his family, because I'm certain they've had this conversation with him multiple times. You know, the one about accepting responsibility and moving forward at all ever in his life. He talks a lot about how he's so scared of his brother and this and that but really I feel like his brother just finally lost patience with his dumbass older brother and snapped on him. I mean how much can you talk to someone who refuses to ever acknowledge that while he may or may not have been responsible for his lot in life (and let's face it, with a face like that and shitty opinions/low intelligence like he's got, he really got dealt a terrible hand in this iteration), the fact remains that he's able to fix his present and indeed his future if only he takes action right now! It's not hard: just fucking DO SOMETHING ANYTHING OH MY GOD, instead of acting like picking up fucking cans on the side of the road constitutes real work.

I also kind of sort of feel sympathy for Knuckle Neck (shoutout to @He Sets Me On Fire, pbuh) in that when his mom dies he's in a world of shit. I honestly don't think that any of his other family members will let him mooch off of them in the same fashion. This isn't like Chris, where his brother just doesn't care one way or the other, this is a guy who has a history of actively antagonizing and assaulting his brother. I'm sure the rest of the family noticed all this and they aren't too happy that Jon even exists. God help him when that day comes.

 

[Ruin]

Do we have any information on his brother apart from Sweet's second hand portrayal as a criminal and drug addict? I like to think that his brother is a hard partying good old boy who picks up bar trash and gets into fistfights on the weekend. Something tells me Sweets is just mad his brother enjoys his life.

 

[Shadow Fox]

I also kind of sort of feel sympathy for Knuckle Neck (shoutout to @He Sets Me On Fire, pbuh) in that when his mom dies he's in a world of shit. I honestly don't think that any of his other family members will let him mooch off of them in the same fashion. This isn't like Chris, where his brother just doesn't care one way or the other, this is a guy who has a history of actively antagonizing and assaulting his brother. I'm sure the rest of the family noticed all this and they aren't too happy that Jon even exists. God help him when that day comes.

tbqh, I also feel this way, to an extent. Jon has zero work experience for the last twenty years - or at least none that any potential employer would take seriously. (All his previous stints lasted, what, a year at most, if that?) Instead of trying to get a job, any job, he's wasted all that time waiting to strike it rich on his "writing" and "art", for his nemeses to finally get their comeuppance, and for ASU to welcome him back on campus to live the life he's dreamed of. I think about that sometimes and immediately think oh my god, man, get off your ass and do something that you can put on a resume. ANYTHING. Because his mom isn't going to be around forever, and I honestly don't think there's any option for Jon Boy other than homelessness unless he shapes the fuck up, pronto.

 

[Ruin]

tbqh, I also feel this way, to an extent. Jon has zero work experience for the last twenty years - or at least none that any potential employer would take seriously. (All his previous stints lasted, what, a year at most, if that?) Instead of trying to get a job, any job, he's wasted all that time waiting to strike it rich on his "writing" and "art", for his nemeses to finally get their comeuppance, and for ASU to welcome him back on campus to live the life he's dreamed of. I think about that sometimes and immediately think oh my god, man, get off your ass and do something that you can put on a resume. ANYTHING. Because his mom isn't going to be around forever, and I honestly don't think there's any option for Jon Boy other than homelessness unless he shapes the fuck up, pronto.

Doesn't he recieve a tugboat though? With careful budgeting he could avoid homelessness.

 

[John Titor]

Not with those people. Although I was happy there at The Herald, I never quite felt fully accepted. I was an interloper to them-- the staff conservative, not a journalism major. The faculty advisor herself said she didn't need me around. The fact that I got the most mail and gifts of any staffer only heightened this resentment bubbling under the surface. I don't think most of the ed board would have gone too far out of their way to help me (and the one who did show interest in my career later ended up losing his promotion over it).

By the way, as to why I tilt my head slightly in photographs... it's to decrease the glint of the light striking the lenses of my glasses, you bloviating dingusoids. I even do it when I'm not actually wearing them, the habit's so ingrained in me. If you'd stop constantly confusing or outright making up facts to manufacture your dopey theories, you might have actually managed to put your shared pool of three active brain cells together to puzzle it out. As it stands, you get nothing right. Even if you're told straight out what the matter with me is-- how I lived and how I was taught in college-- you refuse to even consider it. Oh, no, it can't be what your precious progressive ideology did to my whole generation's way of thinking. It has to be autism or a thyroid condition or some undiagnosed birth defect I might have. Pfft.

Oh, and tell Icy I have a plan for my future, but you've already mocked it like the nattering bunch of naysaying jackasses you are--even though your people were all over the idea back in 1997. Talk about a total policy one-eighty.

1) I think it's safe to assume that Jon expects people to walk up to him and give him instructions.
2) The neck crick thing was already addressed by Holdek.

 

[Shadow Fox]

Doesn't he recieve a tugboat though? With careful budgeting he could avoid homelessness.

Ah, yeah, I guess that's true. He might not be totally fucked then. I forget he has it most of the time, honestly.

 

[Le Bateleur]

Sweet would really benefit from dropping the entitlement mentality and unlearning the learned helplessness. This recent post is verging on self-parody - emphasis added.

Yes, they were available-- for a dime a copy. I'd have gone broke in no time. Besides, no one ever taught me how to work the photocopy machine in the newspaper office. I wouldn't learn how to use a scanner for another eight years yet.

(Source, backup)

Maybe it's another one of his hilarious jokes and I'm too much of a pinheaded CWCiwiki Koala to understand hims, but to me it just seems like another example of Sweet wanting to have his hand held and walked through everything. As per his most recent post, his diagnosis of everything which went wrong with his life is "how I lived and how I was taught in college" - rather than how he has chosen to live his life in the subsequent two decades.

It's a shame that Sweet got trolled by Ashlaay - and, she was wrong for trolling him. It's also a shame that - as Sweet himself admits - his personality flaws and social awkwardness led to him being fired from the college paper. But it's been almost 20 years, and if he had had the willingness and initiative to take control of his life, he could have overcame these setbacks.

At the very least, if he wants to blame something for his unhappy past, he could blame his social awkwardness.

******

Sweet has shared a photo of a property which he indicates he wants to buy. It's a commercial property in Blytheville, built in 1963 and most recently used as a tobacco superstore. It may be that Sweet is trying a ruse to take us all for dingusoids, because the property is up for auction at a price of $10,000. Maybe he's just pointing out a local commercial property he's seen on his walks which looks very bunker-like, as a rib-tickling riposte to @Shadow Fox's comments earlier in the thread.

From what I could find, the basic SSI rate in Arkansas is $733 a month, so even if Sweet has some kind of income on top of that, the unit is still going to cost around a year's worth of tugboat. Alternatively, aliminium cans are currently selling for about $0.48 a lb; assuming 30 cans to a lb, Sweet would need to weigh in 625,000 cans to pay for the property. Or he could sell 5,000 - 20,000 copies of Julaaysias, Almasonichu or Postcards of the Weening.

Furthermore, the property was listed at $2,500 back in November; if Sweet had a nest egg saved up toward his plan, why not snap up the property then?

This is just speculation and newpapermanship, however. Assuming Sweet really is going to buy the place, I wonder what he plans to do with it? When his mother and a friend of hers were opening a craft shop in 2008, Sweet was going to live in an apartment on-site. He seemed very excited by this opportunity, and he describes putting in a lot of physical labour to renovate the shop. Unfortunately his mother and her friend fell out and the opportunity passed.

I wonder whether he and his mother plan to make another go of the craft shop? She's a homeowner and works part-time, so it's more likely she'd have the cash for something like this. Given that the property is a 2 hour walk from his house and he doesn't drive, maybe the plan is for Sweet to live on site.

I just hope he doesn't plan on selling copies of the Belch Dimension in the shop...

Spoiler: Backups of all main citations, because that's how I newspaper

https://archive.today/dCAY0
https://archive.today/UfeDO
https://archive.today/djRUE
https://archive.today/Mk9qf

 

[Le Bateleur]

Just noticed @Holdek made post 400,000 on the AJM studios forum!

http://usaspatriot.proboards.com/post/400000

I think that means you get a statuette of Rainbow Dash high-fiving Sarah Palin. You should ask about it.

 

[The I Scream Man]

Oh, and tell Icy I have a plan for my future, but you've already mocked it like the nattering bunch of naysaying jackasses you are--even though your people were all over the idea back in 1997. Talk about a total policy one-eighty.

We didn't attack it. We didn't have to, because why would you attack someone saying that they had a working time machine or a perpetual motion engine or could read people's minds? What good would it do anyone to attack an obviously fanciful idea?

You have no interest in hearing this, though, so you'll just ignore it. Nevertheless, common decency towards another human being compels me to inform you that your idea(s) regarding a future that at all resembles a college lifestyle are unrealistic and will only lead you to further ruin in the future. You should instead focus on preparing for said future, because you are the only person on board the Titanic who can't see the iceberg approaching. Turn the fucking boat, Captain.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

By the way, as to why I tilt my head slightly in photographs... it's to decrease the glint of the light striking the lenses of my glasses, you bloviating dingusoids. I even do it when I'm not actually wearing them, the habit's so ingrained in me.

Hm... Nah. No. Birth defect. You can tell by the underdeveloped chin. That and his hilarious defensiveness.

 

[Trombonista]

Why doesn't he just come back here to defend himself?

 

[Meowthkip]

Why doesn't he just come back here to defend himself?

Because he's a weenie.

 

[Le Bateleur]

Why doesn't he just come back here to defend himself?

I like to think that, deep down, Sweet knows we have the measure of him. We're not EDiots pointing and shouting obscenities, we're not hit-and-run funsters posting links to the SNL sketch on his guestbook - we're rational, resourceful, relentless curators of lulz who have pieced together his story from across the internet. When he's faced with a stronger foe, Sweet retreats to a safe place and mutters rude things.

We're basically the internet version of that scary pack of four dogs that meant he never learned to drive.

I do also like how Sweet is claiming he couldn't afford photocopying at college, because he had to pay for laundry, and "snacks and incidentals". Snacks? Snacks?! Sweet chunters endlessly about three aspects of college life - the chinaphone, big-screen TVs, and "sumptuous buffet dining, three times a day". Sweet Bro paid upfront for three buffets a day, and still felt the need to buy snacks.

Seriously, if you're that hungry, why not just put some buffet food in your pocket for later?

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

A passive-aggressive weenie, at that. He's directing comments at specific users here from the safety of his hugbox. Wow, so brave, such we got told.