🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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NobleGreyHorse said:
In other news, HSMOF and I are becoming the same person, whom Sweets will thus have to murder twice. :tomgirl:

Oh yes! Also, burning a body is a lot harder than people think from Hollywood and TV. Like, crematoria have the ability to get many times hotter than the burning temperature of most commonly available accelerants. Sweets doesn't just aspire to be a spree killer. He aspires to be that bumbling spree killer who gets caught half an hour later.
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Oh good god, Iconoclast as a spree killer? He'd sit in his room whining about, "No one ever TOLD ME that guns are supposed to have AMMO! Fucking liberal gun laws!"
 
DrChristianTroy said:
He'll finally get some ammo but they belong to his brother who takes them away.
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I imagine it would go something like this.

Iconoclast - "good day sir I would like to purchase a firearm in order to inflict swift and horrible vengeance on all those who have spurned me!"

Redneck gun store guy - "Um yes well just sign this form here and there is a $20 processing fee."

(Iconoclast gasps in horror)

"God damn it man do you know how many cans I would have to collect in order to pay that off?"

and then iconoclast shits himself and goes home to rant online about how GUNS ARE EXPENSIVE!
 
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Sweet is fascinating. I'm trawling the archives over at AJM for amusing things he's written, and I feel like I'm just scratching the surface. In no particular order, more Mixed Sweets:

Those familiar with the Golden Knight may be interested to know that there's someone else whose comics are MOM APPROVED:

Jonathan M. Sweet said:
I make the final editorial decisions myself. The only time anyone's really had any input at the production level was when my mom objected to a joke in "Zapped!" where Timmy says he isn't about to get his "third strike". The character is based on my kid brother, who is a real p.o.s. and has had some troubles with the law, which is why she demanded that I cut that line. It was replaced with a rather less-funny joke about Col. Mustard being the one who shot the deputy in the parlor with the gun. I mean, who's going to get that reference? Do folks even play Clue anymore? That game was hip, like, 20 years ago.
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I fear Tim is fast becoming the Meg Griffin of Belch Dimension Comics, with a lot of gags coming at his expense. For example, an upcoming joke involves someone casually remarking that something is "an even bigger waste of money than that pop-up book about Rodney King." Cut to a panel with Tim opening the book. In the next block a brick flies out of the pages and smacks him in the forehead. In the final panel he lies there, twitching and gagging, with a pool of blood spreading underneath him. I do so love a good Rodney King joke. ;D
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(Source, backup)

I also happen to love a good Rodney King joke. Since Sweet has never made one, here's Bill Hicks:


On North Korea's nuclear capabilities, Sweet is his usual accurate, well-informed self:

Jonathan M. Sweet said:
The bitter irony is, we gave them the nukes off our atomic slushpile. It's like giving a baby a loaded pistol and then wondering why there's a bullet hole in our foot.
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(Source, backup)

In yet another similarity to Christian Weston Chandler, Sweet prefers that the ladies make the first move.

Jonathan M. Sweet said:
I like it when a woman makes the first move and sends a good clear signal that she's interested. In the animal kingdom it's done by scent and submissive body positions, but sadly human women have to be a bit more subtle. Not too many just walk up to you and crouch down on all fours with their hienies in the air....
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(Source, backup)

On his frequent thoughts of interspecies romance.

Jonathan M. Sweet said:
I don't know why Pony-to-human transformations interest me so much. I suppose it's like any sentient animal or humanoid alien interacting with a human--sooner or later, somebody is won over by somebody's charms, and decides they want to test the boundaries. Like Brian and Lois Griffin. Or ALF.
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(Source, backup)

On how his ALF ripoff character is totally not an ALF ripoff character.

Jonathan M. Sweet said:
Actually, there are distinct but important differences.

As you can see, Flunger has a snapper, shorter hairdo. Gort seems to be unusual among his species, having blue fur and red hair.

Other differences between the denizens of Melmac and Flung:
  • Melmacians have eight stomachs, Flungarians have just five.
  • Melmacians have one god, Barry; Flungarians worship a Trinity: the Father, Mother, and Holy Daughter.
  • Melmacians eat cats; Flungarians coexist peacefully with them.

However, both races agree on their dislike of Martians. [Homer Simpson voice] Lousy backwards troglodytes.
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(Source, backup)

On whether he wore a fedora at high school.

Jonathan M. Sweet said:
Yes, I did. The D'ICK TRACY movie had just come out, and I had a phase-- bordering on obsession, perhaps, now that I think of it-- where I was really big into all things D'ick Tracy. I bought a snapbrim--they didn't have yellow, so I settled for a serviceable brown. Mumbles was my favorite baddie. That was actually my nickname for much of high school, because I worked up a spot on-impersonation of him from the cartoon, even got the name stitched right across the back of my jacket. It's a thick, scratchy, inarticulate voice, comes deep from the back of the mouth, and you have to move your lips just so, sort of rubbery-like. Fun to do. I did a number of the characters, actually-- Flattop, B.B. Eyes, The Brow, Joe Jitsu, Heap O' Callory. It was a hoot.

I wonder if my Go-Go Gomez voice ever got on my Spanish teacher's nerves.... "I theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenk."
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On his plans for an "adult" comic series featuring his fourteen-year-old Sailor Moon/Catwoman character.

Jonathan M. Sweet said:
My computer is not liking this trailer--sometimes certain videos on YouTube cause it to crash (I have a whole blog post about classic '67 Spider-Man episodes--which ones I've seen and which I can't open). But, yes, I enjoyed the show when I watched it several years ago. There are a number of sites dedicated to dirty jokes animators slip into backgrounds or in-between shots, and I bet TOTALLY SPIES would be no exception. It was essentially a parody of the espionage genre, the same way STRIPPERELLA was a parody of the superhero one...but SPIES was more subtle. That show was unapologetically adult--each episode was like a 22-minute dirty joke. I've thought that would be the perfect direction to take with the SweetTart stories, you know--have her go up against a series of villains with suggestive names like The Yellow Snowman, Col. Angus, and The Reverse Cowgirl.
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(Source, backup)
 
Sweet said said:
The only time anyone's really had any input at the production level was when my mom objected to a joke in "Zapped!" where Timmy says he isn't about to get his "third strike". The character is based on my kid brother, who is a real p.o.s. and has had some troubles with the law
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Which is funny because we have proof Jon is a piece of shit but only Jon's account that his brother is a terrible person. He seems just like a drug user who had run ins with the law over said habit who Iconoclast projects his hate onto.
 
MrsFrizzle said:
I think "starving like a dog for days" refers to a time the drug-addicted brother took the mum's car and so she couldn't drive to the grocery store to buy food.
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Ah.

I remember that story, but I didn't remember that colorful turn of phrase. :lol:
Absinthe said:
Those familiar with the Golden Knight may be interested to know that there's someone else whose comics are MOM APPROVED:



(Source, backup)
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It's interesting. This isn't the first time I've seen him mention Rodney King. He somehow connects the assault of his mother with the LA riots, yet he doesn't target the assailants, or even the rioters in LA, for his ire, but specifically Rodney King. In one of his AJM posts he goes on a long tirade about King's life, beyond the typical, "Well he was on PCP so he had it coming," kind of comment one sometimes hears. In a way it's similar to how he traces so many of his life's problems to the implementation of the TV ratings system. Or how Chris continues to harbor a burning hatred of Mimms for posting his photo to ED.

I don't know if it's autism, but they both seem to back-trace from their present problems through chains of causality as far as they can figure, and then when explaining their current situation they bypass that chain as if events could not have unfolded any other way, and expect normal people to nod their heads and go, "Yep, if it wasn't for the TV ratings system you wouldn't be broke, sick, and miserable."

Ugh, on that same thread he says the heroine of The Princess and the Frog should have been designed like this: coalblackdopey-746161.jpg

I guess I just don't get why those other board members would want him on there belching up the place with his bile.

Further Sweet Bits:

Another poster asks: "On a random given day, what is a usual routine for you on say . . . . Tuesday?"

Answer:
Jon said:
I usually wake up around eight and begin the day on the computer, scanning and coloring comics, or writing stories, until eleven. I have my lunch while I listen to Rush Limbaugh's show. This wraps up at two, then I work on my comics or listen to Hannity or watch TV until six. I prepare dinner, which I like to enjoy in front of the TV during prome-time. About nine or ten I spend a few hours sketching and surfing the Net until bedtime, this is usually between midnight and three.
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Sounds not at all like the welfare bum we assumed he was. :roll:

And in defense of Richard Nixon:

Jon said:
At home he curbed runaway inflation by establishing price and wage ceilings and doing away with cumbersome Bretton Woods gold standards.
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For a "conservative," he sure loves his Keynesianism and fiat money.
 
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He repeatedly complains that stereotypical facial features and the exaggerated male and female body shapes have disappeared from cartoons.

Personally I think it's a symptom of his undiagnosed autism - he struggles to pick up on subtle differences in faces and bodies.

I'll have to re-read it, but iirc on the page of his website devoted to Ashlaay, he posts a picture of a woman "matching the description" of his 90s troll. With all the generosity in the world, she does not resemble a young Alicia Silverstone.
 
He wants to put a character called Col. Angus in his adult themed comic? Ummmm, Sweetums? That's from a SNL sketch.
 
DrChristianTroy said:
"Strong dumb thugs." Nothing racist behind that statement.
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To be fair to him, he didn't say anything about race. But I don't blame you for assuming it was, this is Iconoclast we're talking about here.

I did some calculations. He says he's doing better than a "cubicle drone?" Minimum wage in Arkansas is $7.50. I assume cans are $0.05 at the recycling centers, he would have to pick up 150 cans per hour to keep up with a "cubicle drone".
 
John Titor said:
To be fair to him, he didn't say anything about race. But I don't blame you for assuming it was, this is Iconoclast we're talking about here.

I did some calculations. He says he's doing better than a "cubicle drone?" Minimum wage in Arkansas is $7.50. I assume cans are $0.05 at the recycling centers, he would have to pick up 150 cans per hour to keep up with a "cubicle drone".
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That includes the assumption that any decent office worker would make minimum wage (in my experience it's much more).
 
John Titor said:
To be fair to him, he didn't say anything about race. But I don't blame you for assuming it was, this is Iconoclast we're talking about here.

I did some calculations. He says he's doing better than a "cubicle drone?" Minimum wage in Arkansas is $7.50. I assume cans are $0.05 at the recycling centers, he would have to pick up 150 cans per hour to keep up with a "cubicle drone".
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Just more evidence that Sweet is very similar to CWC. Just as Sweet believes he can get more money via collecting cans than working, so Chris believes his tugboat gives him more money than a job. At this point, I think his tugboat is roughly equivalent to Virginia's minimum wage, but he could work part time and still get his tugboat. I wonder what Sweet's tugboat looks like; regardless, they could both get part time jobs and keep their tugboats and actually do... well, not well for themselves, but not terribly.
 
John Titor said:
I did some calculations. He says he's doing better than a "cubicle drone?" Minimum wage in Arkansas is $7.50. I assume cans are $0.05 at the recycling centers, he would have to pick up 150 cans per hour to keep up with a "cubicle drone".
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Also any time I took a "cubicle drone" job I made at least a couple of dollars above minimum wage. Even basic data entry places go above minimum wage.
 
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