🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

But he doesn't have his dogs with him. They're at his brother's house. Though you're probably right about Sweet being in a Section 8 efficiency. If he was in an actual group home he'd be screaming to the heavens about government bureaucrats trying to run his life. I do have trouble believing he'll manage any sort of independent living in the long term, so no one should be shocked when the inevitable happens and he fucks it all up. One day he'll just stop updating his Deviantart blog and we won't know why. Arrested, homeless, dies suddenly, banned from the library, we won't know. What a wasted life.

So he's taking garbage from the dumpster to his brother's house? Does this mean he's storing the scrumptious garbage in his apartment until it's time to visit the dogs at his brother's place?

It's all so confusing.

I do agree that he'll just vanish from the Internet one day. Mental institution. Prison. Starved to death in a locked boxcar on a railroad siding near ASU.

I'd feel bad about his wasted life except for all the misery he has gleefully inflicted on other people. He belongs in a jail cell or a straightjacket.

 

[Adamska]

It really has been a good while since I've scoured and scourged the ramblings of Jonny the Moonfaced Loon, and I finally have the will and desire to do this nice and proper. Let's do this shit:

I'll note ahead of time that I am skipping the intro of this post, because starts off by him giving a synopsis on another of his awful comics that no one reads. It is for some reason the beginning of this tard manifesto, and fuck that I'll do it after going through his crying and whinging.

Truly the end of an era... the implosion of the Seminole Twin Towers at Arkansas State University. Screenshots taken from this video , filmed May 25th, 2008.

It is really telling that Jonny was so wrecked by his crackden level college dorm being torn down for health risks he has photos of it to remember it by. This is literal serial killer trophy collection creepy.

At the time I was in a very bad domestic situation, and I had come up with what, at the time, I thought was a genius scheme to get out of it.

So two notes; one Jonny the Idiotic Maroon is still assmad at his younger brother. The other note is that whatever "plan" he had was going to be extremely stupid.

My plan was to pack up a few things and a little cash and simply leave home, telling no one, and arrange somehow to get to Jonesboro.

Wow, Jonny's plan was to tantrum run away to the town where the location that he was banned from is located. Not only was this a child level plan coming from a 30 year old man, but it really highlights how he only learns by force, meaning he is dumber than certain birds, apes, and elephants.

Deducing cabs and public transportation were far too costly for me, I had my eye on the trainyards near my house. All I needed, I figured, was an unguarded boxcar, a pair of strong legs to make the jump aboard, and enough luck to insure this freight-car was going my way.

Apparently Jonny was too terrible with money to afford a bus ticket then, since from what I was able to research I was able to figure out that the pricing for a ticket using the more expensive Greyhound was only a bit over 20 bucks. Since our Brain Tumor of Blytheville also did get tard benefits, that means he's likely able to apply for an ArDOT as well, and those are like 2 bucks a pop usually.

So yes, just like how Jonny was too retarded to save a Jackson for a Bug Zapper, he was too retarded to save allowance or tard money for a bus. Now let's get into his train idea and pour acid-salt here too.

So Jonny is an imbecile who "learned" this idea from mommy TV, basically proving how much of a couch potato he is. He has no understanding how dangerous it is to play with a train like what he's doing. He is completely delusional and magically thinks that it's that easy to get onto a train like this and not be turned into hideous meatpulp. It then gets even stupider too since it is obvious he never researched this idea at all, probably because it'd demolish his delusion.

News fact Johnny: you'd need to do this twice since your branch doesn't directly go to Jonesboro; you'd have to get off at Turrel and gamble again... and this actually ignores the north and east routes too by the way you hideously idiotic person. This type of thinking is something that you should have realized is a shitty idea, as this also ignores the risk of imprisonment by guards or murder by hobos too.

Goddamnit I had to write an essay to highlight how BAD Jonny's plan was.

When the train rolled past A-State at Nettleton Avenue, I'd hop off and run.

Aaaand you just broke a variety of bones and risked (likely) death for the third time this simulation you absolutely helpless buffoon. I was right when I said you are so stupid that when Ma dies you'd starve to death.

I would wait 'til night, sneak onto campus, make for Twin, and move lock, stock, and Sweetchuck into an old dorm room I remembered from my days there.

So Jonny takes notes from the Antifa and Analchest Cookbook and decides to squat at the place he is banned from. This entitled and selfish fuck is willing to commit break and entry, violating a cease and desist, abusing private resources, and squatting itself. This fucktard actually still doesn't understand why he's so worthy of mockery and is still entitled enough to believe he deserves this shit free of charge like the ungrateful leech he is.

Jonathan Mack Sweet is godless pinko trash that should be flung out of a helicopter.

It was on the fifth floor, between the weight room and the door leading to the back stairs. It was small, dirty, dark, and above all, vacant and unnoticed-- perfect for my needs.

Jesus Christ he's like a horrifying bloated gremlin if THESE were his qualifiers for living space.

I'd hide there during much of the day, leaving (in disguise, of course) only at night to forage for food and utilize the computer lab and toilet facilities.

Translation: I will steal food and abuse resources meant for students willing to learn and earn a degree for whatever reason strikes their fancy. Students that actually have to pay for it.

Jonny you are acting like the Illegals you fucking despise out of racism.

I'd be the Phantom of Floor Five, going in and out undetected.

You couldn't even murder your drugged out brother with the advantage of surprise and a weapon. This would've failed.

I could use the weight machines and the stationary bike every night to keep in shape, quietly slipping away if anyone else showed up to work out.

Nice delusions bro. But dreaming isn't doing, and making gains requires fucking doing it.

Above all I'd be careful, but should someone realized I was a drop-in and the heat was suddenly on me, I'd simply dash out the rear stairwell and try to hoof it out to the nearby woods before the campus cops caught up with me.

What'd actually happen is they'd have caught you like the did the last few times you were reeetarded enough to actually violate your restraining order and arrest you. Also implies you'd be able to always have those stairs open too and relies on 20 year out of date knowledge too you moron.

When the towers fell "in a cloud of rubble and dust" as if gripped and crushed by some great "occult hand" (maybe that's what you can see in the smoke in that last shot, eh?), I didn't even know it was gone; I had to learn of it, in the alumni newsletter, months later.

It really is telling that at no point in your positively stupid, jumbled, brickbrained plans that you did no research and just dreamed about this stupid delusion harder than Patrick Bateman did about murdering people. I in the span of about oh I dunno 40 minutes did more research on your plan than you EVER did.

Also still more stupid than to just get some section 8 housing like you have now. Sure you'd deal with darkies and I know that makes your butthole clench in fear, but besides that it does everything needed for living alone.

I felt betrayed, cheated, and just plain stuck.

Haha get wrekt you insufferable fucking simpleton.

I decided it was just as well I hadn't tried to execute my big, romantic escape plan.

It really is telling that you are doing the standard elementary school tier "S'not like I was gonna do it anyways!". It wasn't all of the ideas I had to figure out for you due to your crippling laziness and criminal retardation. It was entirely because reality dickslapped it away completely with some explosives and mold.

The last two years of its life, I learned, Twin was a training area for the police.

It's really fitting that it seems that reality itself is telling you to fuck off and actually grow up.

Even if I had managed to flee my crazy brother's abuse and made it to campus, I'd have immediately blundered right into a nest of cops, who would have arrested me on sight.

But I thought you'd just yeet away into the night? Aww, did you realize how retarded your delusion sounded Jonny?

And I still don't believe any of the abuse shit given how you're a massive liar, attempted kinslayer, an obnoxious jackass, a creepy stalker, and so many other hideous qualifiers to boot.

This issue was in production right around the tenth anniversary of the event, and it indicates the major shift that occurred in my thinking in the years between 2010 and now.

You are just as much as an entitled, creepy, uncivilized, violent moon-faced lunatic now as you were then. The only difference is you are more bitter due to your delusions actively being dissected and demolished as well as losing the one hugbox you had.

You will be as brick brained and inbred now as you will be when you die given I'm not even bothering with the idea you might unfuck yourself at this point; it's been about a few years too late.

This was a period that encapsulated the rise and fall of Hillary Clinton, the election of Donald Trump in 2016, and the grand national tantrum over that win that gave rise to a grand schism in America.

Oh goodness no; this is going to be a roller coaster ride of pain.

It was #MeToo vs. #Pervatory; the trophy they fought for was the hearts and minds of the millennial voting base.

More like the epic meltdown of the SJW movement because they expected that Hillary would've won and their rapid suicide in terms of appeal to the common man.

It was no longer the days of John Belushi's Animal House. It was a kinder, gentler time now.

Oh boy, you're pretending now that you're a harder man from a harder time, like most old people who fail to get the modern times. How sad that the only thing you can brag about at this point is your age.

College campuses had now become "chickified". The response? A sharp drop in male enrollment was soon seen on college campuses, as young men who had grown up on the fascinating stories by their fathers, uncles, big brothers and older chums who had gone to college "back in the day" began to become disenchanted and quit school in disgust.

Ooorrrr... it could be because of what is called the "College Bubble". Since you definitely don't know what this is Jonny, let me explain. So the big thing about college is that it costs a lot of money to go through (unless you leech off mommy like Jonny did). It's increased in pricing as our wages remain stagnant by comparison. This plus the rapidly ballooning amount of student debt (we're over a trillion collectively now) and the regular uselessness of a variety of degrees makes people not inclined to go to college.

Also it's pathetic you're pretending you didn't "learn" how college worked from shit like Boy Meets World and Revenge of the Nerds.

The common lounges and game rooms had now been designated as "safe spaces", which you might as well call "testosterone-free zones".

No you retard. They still exist, and instead a room is mandated as a more intensive guidance office where you can de-stress, get professional help from a social worker as needed, and just refocus yourself.

Also, nice for proving you're more mad that you don't have these gibmedats rather than because you were barred from being able to learn more. Just prove that you'd support reparations if you actually were more than a high yella in that respect.

It was phoning ahead to book time with a therapy pet instead of phoning up a hot, skanky coed for a little heavy petting.

YOU'RE STILL TRYING TO PRETEND THAT YOU WERE NOT TROLLED AND NOW TRYING TO LIE THAT YOU ACTUALLY GOT TO THIRD BASE AND THAT THAT YOU ARE NOT A KISSLESS VIRGIN YOU DRY THIRSTY FUCK?!?!

How absolutely pathetic that this is the biggest reason you're mad that you can't go back. How much of a fucking lying clown you are that you had to pretend that you actually went beyond 1st base. We've already seen you reduced to blubbering defeat on this hill, so just aping the creationist playbook and denying reality to suit your assache changes fuck all.

Also I decisively sporked the therapy pet thing the last time you sperged about them, and you're still wrong for the same reasons I highlighted last time.

It was cookies and milk instead of burgers, nachos, and soda fountains. It was cute cat videos instead of porn playing on the TV.

It really is telling you have to defend your dwindling T-levels by trying to be the caricature of the big manly man that you wished you were. Also the second sentence is a better woman deterrant then anything else given that only weirdos watch porn in public.

Play-Doh and coloring books have replaced pinball, pool, and the floating poker games that started late on Friday night and often went early into Sunday morning.

Given our tales of what Sweet was like at ASU, I imagine he forced himself in many dorm games as they happened. Also a very excellent description of how Jon pissed away his education in favor of desperately being "the cool guy". Doubly so when his actions just made him the spazz that every person hated.

Good God, it was a nightmare; it was like living in a giant nursery school with a bunch of adult babies.

Oh, do keep throwing rocks Jonny; I hope the glass lacerates your femoral arteries so you can stop being a drain on your mother at this point.

In short, college sucked now. And this is what they laughably call "progress".

I find it amusing that Jonny still thinks he's a conservative or even understands what politics are; he's a lot closer to the type of people the Dems offer gibmedats to and has the same mindset of an entitled welfare queen or an illegal.

I was depressed by all this, but then realized Arkansas State University was no longer the only game in town.

Finally realized Blytheville has a college you mongoloid? Good luck getting the scratch for that one given you can't even save 20 bucks or your rotting shack of a house. You can't do either of these you can't a college. Not with your work ethic.

I had been talking since 2004 or '05 about my idea for a "college-living apartment", only to have small-minded imbeciles simply dismiss it out of hand as a flophouse, "dorm-brothel", "Sweet's Pervo Palace", or a depressing, "tightly-controlled" environment, "like prison".

That's because you're basically planning on making a shitty bordello like the hundreds of one-star hotels purely designed to cater to fuck nights and so on. The only difference is that you plan on having a longer term rental and are too reeetarded to understand that you'd be busted for prostitution given only Nevada legalizes it.

Also you only ever talk about your dumb ideas; you're too lazy and too much of a coward to ever DO any of the stupid things you suggest. The only time you ever nutted up to do something is something criminal, like attempted murder or trespassing.

Even the idea of mandating each resident spend three hours per week studying for a degree either on a campus or online didn't appease the naysayers any.

Because at that point you might as well be suggesting that you work as a landlord for a college apartment at that point, since your basic idea was basically just a fantasy land designed only for you, just like your shitty comics.

To say nothing of a host of downsides: a brick-and-mortar structure would be prohibitively expensive to lease, renovate, furnish, staff, and maintain, it'd only be able to meet the needs of one small area, and it would never be seen as more than a nuisance or an eyesore by the community at large, making it a constant target for empty-headed protesters.

You'd be arrested for prostitution too given you were deadset on the china-phone idea. Landlording or renting a home is a different beast than your bordello shithole.

Then it hit me: an online education was nothing new, mind, but in the eight years since I made this joke it's become a burgeoning, less expensive, and viable alternative to a traditional college experience, for a host of reasons.

Bitch, you can't even use a search engine, let alone design an online learning course! Also the big idea is that you have to teach something, and based on how you're only mad you don't have all the things you believe you're entitled to, this is going to be actually as retarded as the Green New Deal or the current DNC's party platform.

Honestly, you're pretty much just a Democrat at this point, right down to being delusional and committing career suicide.

I had an idea for an Internet application that could simulate life on the ASU campus in the nineties, yet be a lot cheaper than renting or buying property, and reach a far wider customer base.

Oh... oh no. This is going to be the dumbest dumb to have ever dumbed. I am became dumbering just from anticipating what abortion of the mind I'm going to read.

The perks package wouldn't be hard to recreate, either: I'd just have to talk local restaurants into accepting printable student I.D. cards from "Online U" (just a placeholder name at this point) in lieu of cash-- there's your daily buffet, right there.

Okay, and are YOU gonna pay for this service, because a restaurant would demand payment. Also, hope you like having to talk with dozens of companies to negotiate the deal. Would the weirdos who'd buy this service have to pay you a monthly fee? And if so, how would you make it enticing for this option, because I can't really see wanting this as a customer, and as the producer I'd want to keep the pricing the same to keep my lights on.

See, at least Weight Watchers, Schwans, and other food services like Exotic Meats make some level of sense.

In those, the guy pays money monthly or for the meal online for the food they buy. It is mainly designed for dieters who struggle with weight loss, people who can't easily get regional meals like gator or caribou, or the elderly who struggle with mobility. I do not see a reason anyone would provide this service since there is no mechanical or life change for it. The same thing can literally be done by using a debit card using the money they'd save not using your trashfire of an idea.

Television and the Internet have come a long way since half-past 1997, and even since the early days of ObamaCable in 2009, so applicants probably already have pretty swell, fast-moving computers and decent-sized TV screens in their homes and apartments already.

This is of course why you were reduced to sobbing because you don't got any of this shit. Also how is this remotely part of any service? It seems more like you were too LD'd to figure out something.

I mean shit, if I had to be stupid and help you (since you'd never think of it), I'd make a deal with some corporations to provide a specific streaming service for these seventh sigma outliers that focuses on 80's and 90's programming. Basically you pay them a fee, and they double pay for the option to watch stuff like Brave Starr and Three's Company.

Of course you couldn't manage this; too much IT and you panic at fucking laundry machines and dish washers.

Sure, you sacriice the sense of camaraderie and the interesting characters you can meet that a communal lounge may bring, but you also avoid any arguments over limited space and equipment and and a lot of the bruised feelings and resentments that can build up, too.

So now you're trying to pretend you didn't elbow your way into these and hijacked the TV for your manchild needs, thus alienating your dorm mates and making them want to penny you in a door to hopefully trap you.

As for "play-dates" with beautiful random girls, there's a number of escort sites online I could probably arrange some sort of sponsorship with, even persuade them to waive any fees in exchange for... well, whatever ASU used to offer the Trumann girls to keep the fellas amused for a few months; I'll work all that out later, along with any other niggling details.

Yeah no, prostitution's illegal in your state Sweet. You'd have to manage to get them to legalize it to make it an actual service you could sell.

All I needed was to secure the money, and I'd be in business.

You'd need the following actually:

• A business plan
• Contracts with local businesses
• Legalizing prostitution in states
• A fucking spine
• The ability to get off your ass

And probably a couple dozen other items I can't be fucked listing since I refuse to help you further.

Now, ignoring for a moment the fact that I know jack dook about writing apps, I thought perhaps I'd fund my great ASU 2.0 app notion with the earnings I garnered from a few smaller, lesser apps.

You'd need to have actual ideas first though, so let's just have fun and see what terrible ideas will squeeze out of your brain as the tech illiterate monkey you are.

I had plenty of ideas. For example, shortly after I got Bear, I had an idea for an app that, when you put in a picture of your dog, it tells you what breed it is.

So... several years ago. And you chose not to ever learn how to code... even though there are a variety of online tutorials available as we speak at the request of the person curious.

GG Jonny; keep proving how you have more value to society dead than you ever will alive.

Imagine how put out I felt when, a few years later, I found out some dipshit stole this hot idea right out from under me!

So that rando did what you never do and actually worked to make something happen. Can't really say much more than this being on you for being a lazy entitled leech really.

Though I will note you technically still can do this idea, given there are a variety of apps that do the same thing, like map systems, chatting devices, and even browsers.

You still are too lazy to bother though, so whatever.

I could have made a fortune off it, if only I knew how to write a lousy piece of webcode.

This is why I regret being forced to leave school two decades ago, before the rise, pop, and residual fallout of the great .dot-com bubble spawned the next generation of Internet millionaires--a cottage industry of home-brewed kitchen-table code cracker nerds. If I'd been back living in the dorms in 2012, '13, when all this was on the rise, who knows-- I could have been chummy with the next Woz.

How fucking fitting that you put yourself in that fraudulent hack Steve Jobs, who stole Wozniak's work and proclaimed it his own and proceeded to effectively demolish his career and legacy to build his own. It really highlights how lazy, intellectually (as much as you can be) dishonest, and just a scummy human being you are.

Each time you type, you reveal more and more about how malignant your personality is.

So anyway... my brother squared up, moved out, and got married.

No wonder your mother listened to him more than you; he's younger than you, had the same level of poverty than you (if not moreso), and had to deal with addiction, but he got his shit together from a far deeper fall than you and managed to move on in life.

That is a sign you need to fucking grow up.

The old homestead started to look more and more empty, a big yawning white elephant, needing constant upkeep and expensive repairs, so my other brother talked Mom into moving out and into their place.

No bitch, you had to leave the house because you were so retarded and lazy you let a fucking wall in your hovel collapse; it wasn't loneliness it was the desperation of a homeless person. It is damn telling to see that the only reason you are not homeless is because the brother YOU TRIED TO MURDER fucking gave you the same offer as his mother. He, unlike you, fucking buried that pipe and was willing to help family out.

This more than anything else is why I do not under any circumstance support your version of his addict years.

She'd be closer to him and his growing family, and I'd have a room nearby, I was told, so I could pop over and check in on her now and again, feed and water and walk the pets... so, uncertain and a bit reluctant, I agreed to leave my home, my comfortable bedroom/office and the 23 years of memories I'd built all behind, and move there as well.

Translation: The house was collapsing like in Color From Space and my brother that I tried to kill gave me tard housing after rescuing Ma from this shithole. I am saving my ego by pretending I have value and left of my own volition, and I am lucky that my brother will probably take care of me when Ma dies, meaning I will not starve to death on the streets. Blim blim blim.

It was no life in the dorms, sure, but I found it would suffice. Everybody's lives were improving.

You have no right to be a choosing beggar in your spot Jonny; that path leads to death by dehydration on a farm.

I found the change of scenery also spurred my creativity.

I still don't expect you to ever finish that one book or make big compilations of new comics available on say Amazon Jonny, so this means nothing to me.

I was getting out and walking more, and finding brilliant new ideas absolutely everywhere.

Whodathunk that new experiences means you GAIN a wider perspective and source of inspiration?! Imagine if you actually USED your brain and read more than a smattering of Stephen King!

Oh wait, you can't do anything but rehash your 22 years of assache instead, just ripping off more items in the process.

For example, up until a year ago I was supplementing my boys' kibble with canned food... half a can of wet for each, mixed with a bowl of the dry stuff. They liked it okay. But one of the things I noticed after I moved is that a lot of the stuff I bought was more expensive in the stores up here than back in our hometown Wal-Mart.

Well no shit living in a less shitty town makes the prices go up. Companies do understand to a limited degree that they do need to keep an eye on the average living standards after all.

I didn't wish to shell out extra money for a can of hog anuses and horse nipples that likely would end up half-eaten and spoiling under the hot sun. I then noticed how much food the store across the way tossed out every afternoon-- perfectly good ground beef, pork steaks, hot dogs, and tasty fried chicken, going to waste, just because it's ten minutes past its sell-by date! Imagine!

Oh... you utterly contemptuous asshole. No. NO.

So each day I'd go out to the store's dumpsters, rescue a few edible scraps, take them home, and mix the day's take with their dry food.

Oh joy, so Jonny the neglectful hoarder chose to literally feed his hoarded pets actual fucking garbage rather than nut up and tighten his belt so he can actually be a responsible owner. Lovely, no wonder his pets die so fucking young.

A raw-meat diet is healthier for dogs than that canned muck, I read.

Ya, but you shouldn't feed them scraps too much or else health can become a problem. Fats for example, no bueno. Not that you care given you let them roam around and just make more strays.

Plus, hey, it was free, and a good way to stretch a bag of kibble a couple days longer.

If you can't afford a pet, don't get a fucking pet Jonny.

After a while I noticed how much healthier they looked on their new diet--shinier coats, strong muscles, a lot more energy.

I'm now wondering exactly what the fuck were you feeding them earlier, because my thinking is that you have to use a better or more fitting pet food brand more than the raws...

Honestly at this point I bet you just had them root in the fucking trash at the old hovel, since that screams malnutrition by neglect you fucking subhuman specimen.

I've since become such a frequent visitor to the dumpster that the guy who wheels out the garbage-cart always holds back a package of bacon or some Li' Smokies sausages for Mooch, and even hand-feeds him the treats personally.

This is the doggy equivalent of making them eat lard... how horrifying. And you're too lazy to even feed your own doggo, how fucking repulsive.

Now that's service! I even got another cool new app idea from this-- the one that eventually became the impetus for the first story in this issue, "App Pupil"... as well as a few others I mention in the course of the story.

A dog food ordering app seems kind of inane, but hey I can see why it'd exist. It'd be obsolete due to Amazon and online stores already, but still... it's a C+ idea.

Shame I know you too well, since you're gonna just be a lazy monkey and just bitch about life until you die by whatever means claims you first.

All I need to do now is find some code-monkeys to help make them real (and remember not to call them "code-monkeys" to their faces ), and ASU 2.0 could be fully-funded and a reality in five years.

OF FUCKING COURSE YOU'D SHIT ON THE IT GUYS YOU NEED JON! OF FUCKING COURSE YOU'D TREAT THE PEOPLE LIKE THEY'RE DISPOSABLE AND JUST TAKE THE CREDIT FOR JUST THE IDEA!

You absolute bell-end...

Sure, I still miss the real ASU sometimes, but I realize the poison of change had gone too deeply into the bone, and it sinks in a little deeper each year.

Pretty sure it's more that we've decisively demolished your delusions of ever going back, but honestly you'll probably just delude yourself into a new bitch fit and talk shit about a plan to do it anyway by next year.

I couldn't save it; all I ever loved was lost, or maybe it had never even existed to start with. It wasn't my home anymore. The past was past. And I am slowly learning to accept this.

And that's why you use the same talking points and still hold these delusions on some level. It's also why you refuse to take responsibility and grow up as you piss away your twilight years and rely on a guy you hate to not starve to death.

But you're wondering about the picture, aren't you? So why the tear-down, you ask?

Not really since it was brought up a long while ago in this thread.

Apparently, the toxic mold problem had become pretty severe and the building uninhabitable.

And yet you treated this horrid place like it was Mecca, Jerusalem, or the Bodhi Tree of Enlightenment. This says A LOT about how unhygenic you really are Mr. Pisses in Bottles, Sinks, and Windows.

One source at ASU claims the stuff growing in the air ducts had finally achieved sentience and was demanding a seat on the Board of Regents.

And yet you wanted to squat in this fucking dump.

(So does that mean anyone living in Twin between, say, 1996 and 2006 and whose house has suffered from mold damage could have plausible grounds for a lawsuit? Thousands of students could make the case that some virulent spores from Twin accidentally got into their luggage, and they brought it home, unawares, with them. See, progressives never stop to think it's their incompetence, neglect, and stupidity that negatively impacts people's lives. I smell a fat class-action settlement coming.)

Hilariously, I'll actually throw you a bone here, since I'd love the idea of you bugging your family and financially ruin yourself doing this: you probably could if you can prove by going to a doctor that your wheezy ass suffered fungal based lung and throat damage at that time.

I hope you do it, mainly because I'd love to see the self-destruction it'd cause due to the dark amounts of schadenfreude I'd get.

 

[Meowthkip]

You really didn't have to respond to his babbling point-by-point.

 

[John Titor]

You really didn't have to respond to his babbling point-by-point.

It kind of has become his thing in this thread.

 

[Adamska]

You really didn't have to respond to his babbling point-by-point.

Eh, I had fun, and it's been a long time since he's posted something worth sporking since a lot of it is just minimal stuff and his unreadable comics; this one was just long as shit since he tried piling on so many of his old delusions to the mix as well as his usual non-brain thinking.

 

[ON 190]

You really didn't have to respond to his babbling point-by-point.

Spoilsport.

 

[Meowthkip]

Spoilsport.

I was drunk and didn't feel like reading all of that.

 

[Angry New Ager]

It really has been a good while since I've scoured and scourged the ramblings of Jonny the Moonfaced Loon, and I finally have the will and desire to do this nice and proper. Let's do this shit:

I'll note ahead of time that I am skipping the intro of this post, because starts off by him giving a synopsis on another of his awful comics that no one reads. It is for some reason the beginning of this tard manifesto, and fuck that I'll do it after going through his crying and whinging.


It is really telling that Jonny was so wrecked by his crackden level college dorm being torn down for health risks he has photos of it to remember it by. This is literal serial killer trophy collection creepy.

So two notes; one Jonny the Idiotic Maroon is still assmad at his younger brother. The other note is that whatever "plan" he had was going to be extremely stupid.

Wow, Jonny's plan was to tantrum run away to the town where the location that he was banned from is located. Not only was this a child level plan coming from a 30 year old man, but it really highlights how he only learns by force, meaning he is dumber than certain birds, apes, and elephants.

Apparently Jonny was too terrible with money to afford a bus ticket then, since from what I was able to research I was able to figure out that the pricing for a ticket using the more expensive Greyhound was only a bit over 20 bucks. Since our Brain Tumor of Blytheville also did get tard benefits, that means he's likely able to apply for an ArDOT as well, and those are like 2 bucks a pop usually.

So yes, just like how Jonny was too exceptional to save a Jackson for a Bug Zapper, he was too exceptional to save allowance or tard money for a bus. Now let's get into his train idea and pour acid-salt here too.

So Jonny is an imbecile who "learned" this idea from mommy TV, basically proving how much of a couch potato he is. He has no understanding how dangerous it is to play with a train like what he's doing. He is completely delusional and magically thinks that it's that easy to get onto a train like this and not be turned into hideous meatpulp. It then gets even stupider too since it is obvious he never researched this idea at all, probably because it'd demolish his delusion.

News fact Johnny: you'd need to do this twice since your branch doesn't directly go to Jonesboro; you'd have to get off at Turrel and gamble again... and this actually ignores the north and east routes too by the way you hideously idiotic person. This type of thinking is something that you should have realized is a shitty idea, as this also ignores the risk of imprisonment by guards or murder by hobos too.

Goddamnit I had to write an essay to highlight how BAD Jonny's plan was.

Aaaand you just broke a variety of bones and risked (likely) death for the third time this simulation you absolutely helpless buffoon. I was right when I said you are so stupid that when Ma dies you'd starve to death.

So Jonny takes notes from the Antifa and Analchest Cookbook and decides to squat at the place he is banned from. This entitled and selfish fuck is willing to commit break and entry, violating a cease and desist, abusing private resources, and squatting itself. This fucktard actually still doesn't understand why he's so worthy of mockery and is still entitled enough to believe he deserves this shit free of charge like the ungrateful leech he is.

Jonathan Mack Sweet is godless pinko trash that should be flung out of a helicopter.

Jesus Christ he's like a horrifying bloated gremlin if THESE were his qualifiers for living space.

Translation: I will steal food and abuse resources meant for students willing to learn and earn a degree for whatever reason strikes their fancy. Students that actually have to pay for it.

Jonny you are acting like the Illegals you fucking despise out of racism.

You couldn't even murder your drugged out brother with the advantage of surprise and a weapon. This would've failed.

Nice delusions bro. But dreaming isn't doing, and making gains requires fucking doing it.

What'd actually happen is they'd have caught you like the did the last few times you were reeetarded enough to actually violate your restraining order and arrest you. Also implies you'd be able to always have those stairs open too and relies on 20 year out of date knowledge too you moron.

It really is telling that at no point in your positively stupid, jumbled, brickbrained plans that you did no research and just dreamed about this stupid delusion harder than Patrick Bateman did about murdering people. I in the span of about oh I dunno 40 minutes did more research on your plan than you EVER did.

Also still more stupid than to just get some section 8 housing like you have now. Sure you'd deal with darkies and I know that makes your butthole clench in fear, but besides that it does everything needed for living alone.

Haha get wrekt you insufferable fucking simpleton.

It really is telling that you are doing the standard elementary school tier "S'not like I was gonna do it anyways!". It wasn't all of the ideas I had to figure out for you due to your crippling laziness and criminal exceptionalism. It was entirely because reality dickslapped it away completely with some explosives and mold.

It's really fitting that it seems that reality itself is telling you to fuck off and actually grow up.

But I thought you'd just yeet away into the night? Aww, did you realize how exceptional your delusion sounded Jonny?

And I still don't believe any of the abuse shit given how you're a massive liar, attempted kinslayer, an obnoxious jackass, a creepy stalker, and so many other hideous qualifiers to boot.

You are just as much as an entitled, creepy, uncivilized, violent moon-faced lunatic now as you were then. The only difference is you are more bitter due to your delusions actively being dissected and demolished as well as losing the one hugbox you had.

You will be as brick brained and inbred now as you will be when you die given I'm not even bothering with the idea you might unfuck yourself at this point; it's been about a few years too late.

Oh goodness no; this is going to be a roller coaster ride of pain.

More like the epic meltdown of the SJW movement because they expected that Hillary would've won and their rapid suicide in terms of appeal to the common man.

Oh boy, you're pretending now that you're a harder man from a harder time, like most old people who fail to get the modern times. How sad that the only thing you can brag about at this point is your age.

Ooorrrr... it could be because of what is called the "College Bubble". Since you definitely don't know what this is Jonny, let me explain. So the big thing about college is that it costs a lot of money to go through (unless you leech off mommy like Jonny did). It's increased in pricing as our wages remain stagnant by comparison. This plus the rapidly ballooning amount of student debt (we're over a trillion collectively now) and the regular uselessness of a variety of degrees makes people not inclined to go to college.

Also it's pathetic you're pretending you didn't "learn" how college worked from shit like Boy Meets World and Revenge of the Nerds.

No you exceptional individual. They still exist, and instead a room is mandated as a more intensive guidance office where you can de-stress, get professional help from a social worker as needed, and just refocus yourself.

Also, nice for proving you're more mad that you don't have these gibmedats rather than because you were barred from being able to learn more. Just prove that you'd support reparations if you actually were more than a high yella in that respect.

YOU'RE STILL TRYING TO PRETEND THAT YOU WERE NOT TROLLED AND NOW TRYING TO LIE THAT YOU ACTUALLY GOT TO THIRD BASE AND THAT THAT YOU ARE NOT A KISSLESS VIRGIN YOU DRY THIRSTY FUCK?!‽

How absolutely pathetic that this is the biggest reason you're mad that you can't go back. How much of a fucking lying clown you are that you had to pretend that you actually went beyond 1st base. We've already seen you reduced to blubbering defeat on this hill, so just aping the creationist playbook and denying reality to suit your assache changes fuck all.

Also I decisively sporked the therapy pet thing the last time you sperged about them, and you're still wrong for the same reasons I highlighted last time.

It really is telling you have to defend your dwindling T-levels by trying to be the caricature of the big manly man that you wished you were. Also the second sentence is a better woman deterrant then anything else given that only weirdos watch porn in public.

Given our tales of what Sweet was like at ASU, I imagine he forced himself in many dorm games as they happened. Also a very excellent description of how Jon pissed away his education in favor of desperately being "the cool guy". Doubly so when his actions just made him the spazz that every person hated.

Oh, do keep throwing rocks Jonny; I hope the glass lacerates your femoral arteries so you can stop being a drain on your mother at this point.

I find it amusing that Jonny still thinks he's a conservative or even understands what politics are; he's a lot closer to the type of people the Dems offer gibmedats to and has the same mindset of an entitled welfare queen or an illegal.

Finally realized Blytheville has a college you mongoloid? Good luck getting the scratch for that one given you can't even save 20 bucks or your rotting shack of a house. You can't do either of these you can't a college. Not with your work ethic.

That's because you're basically planning on making a shitty bordello like the hundreds of one-star hotels purely designed to cater to fuck nights and so on. The only difference is that you plan on having a longer term rental and are too reeetarded to understand that you'd be busted for prostitution given only Nevada legalizes it.

Also you only ever talk about your dumb ideas; you're too lazy and too much of a coward to ever DO any of the stupid things you suggest. The only time you ever nutted up to do something is something criminal, like attempted murder or trespassing.

Because at that point you might as well be suggesting that you work as a landlord for a college apartment at that point, since your basic idea was basically just a fantasy land designed only for you, just like your shitty comics.

You'd be arrested for prostitution too given you were deadset on the china-phone idea. Landlording or renting a home is a different beast than your bordello shithole.

Bitch, you can't even use a search engine, let alone design an online learning course! Also the big idea is that you have to teach something, and based on how you're only mad you don't have all the things you believe you're entitled to, this is going to be actually as exceptional as the Green New Deal or the current DNC's party platform.

Honestly, you're pretty much just a Democrat at this point, right down to being delusional and committing career suicide.

Oh... oh no. This is going to be the dumbest dumb to have ever dumbed. I am became dumbering just from anticipating what abortion of the mind I'm going to read.

Okay, and are YOU gonna pay for this service, because a restaurant would demand payment. Also, hope you like having to talk with dozens of companies to negotiate the deal. Would the weirdos who'd buy this service have to pay you a monthly fee? And if so, how would you make it enticing for this option, because I can't really see wanting this as a customer, and as the producer I'd want to keep the pricing the same to keep my lights on.

See, at least Weight Watchers, Schwans, and other food services like Exotic Meats make some level of sense.

In those, the guy pays money monthly or for the meal online for the food they buy. It is mainly designed for dieters who struggle with weight loss, people who can't easily get regional meals like gator or caribou, or the elderly who struggle with mobility. I do not see a reason anyone would provide this service since there is no mechanical or life change for it. The same thing can literally be done by using a debit card using the money they'd save not using your trashfire of an idea.

This is of course why you were reduced to sobbing because you don't got any of this shit. Also how is this remotely part of any service? It seems more like you were too LD'd to figure out something.

I mean shit, if I had to be stupid and help you (since you'd never think of it), I'd make a deal with some corporations to provide a specific streaming service for these seventh sigma outliers that focuses on 80's and 90's programming. Basically you pay them a fee, and they double pay for the option to watch stuff like Brave Starr and Three's Company.

Of course you couldn't manage this; too much IT and you panic at fucking laundry machines and dish washers.

So now you're trying to pretend you didn't elbow your way into these and hijacked the TV for your manchild needs, thus alienating your dorm mates and making them want to penny you in a door to hopefully trap you.

Yeah no, prostitution's illegal in your state Sweet. You'd have to manage to get them to legalize it to make it an actual service you could sell.

You'd need the following actually:

• A business plan
• Contracts with local businesses
• Legalizing prostitution in states
• A fucking spine
• The ability to get off your ass

And probably a couple dozen other items I can't be fucked listing since I refuse to help you further.

You'd need to have actual ideas first though, so let's just have fun and see what terrible ideas will squeeze out of your brain as the tech illiterate monkey you are.

So... several years ago. And you chose not to ever learn how to code... even though there are a variety of online tutorials available as we speak at the request of the person curious.

GG Jonny; keep proving how you have more value to society dead than you ever will alive.

So that rando did what you never do and actually worked to make something happen. Can't really say much more than this being on you for being a lazy entitled leech really.

Though I will note you technically still can do this idea, given there are a variety of apps that do the same thing, like map systems, chatting devices, and even browsers.

You still are too lazy to bother though, so whatever.



How fucking fitting that you put yourself in that fraudulent hack Steve Jobs, who stole Wozniak's work and proclaimed it his own and proceeded to effectively demolish his career and legacy to build his own. It really highlights how lazy, intellectually (as much as you can be) dishonest, and just a scummy human being you are.

Each time you type, you reveal more and more about how malignant your personality is.

No wonder your mother listened to him more than you; he's younger than you, had the same level of poverty than you (if not moreso), and had to deal with addiction, but he got his shit together from a far deeper fall than you and managed to move on in life.

That is a sign you need to fucking grow up.

No bitch, you had to leave the house because you were so exceptional and lazy you let a fucking wall in your hovel collapse; it wasn't loneliness it was the desperation of a homeless person. It is damn telling to see that the only reason you are not homeless is because the brother YOU TRIED TO MURDER fucking gave you the same offer as his mother. He, unlike you, fucking buried that pipe and was willing to help family out.

This more than anything else is why I do not under any circumstance support your version of his addict years.

Translation: The house was collapsing like in Color From Space and my brother that I tried to kill gave me tard housing after rescuing Ma from this shithole. I am saving my ego by pretending I have value and left of my own volition, and I am lucky that my brother will probably take care of me when Ma dies, meaning I will not starve to death on the streets. Blim blim blim.

You have no right to be a choosing beggar in your spot Jonny; that path leads to death by dehydration on a farm.

I still don't expect you to ever finish that one book or make big compilations of new comics available on say Amazon Jonny, so this means nothing to me.

Whodathunk that new experiences means you GAIN a wider perspective and source of inspiration?! Imagine if you actually USED your brain and read more than a smattering of Stephen King!

Oh wait, you can't do anything but rehash your 22 years of assache instead, just ripping off more items in the process.

Well no shit living in a less shitty town makes the prices go up. Companies do understand to a limited degree that they do need to keep an eye on the average living standards after all.

Oh... you utterly contemptuous asshole. No. NO.

Oh joy, so Jonny the neglectful hoarder chose to literally feed his hoarded pets actual fucking garbage rather than nut up and tighten his belt so he can actually be a responsible owner. Lovely, no wonder his pets die so fucking young.

Ya, but you shouldn't feed them scraps too much or else health can become a problem. Fats for example, no bueno. Not that you care given you let them roam around and just make more strays.

If you can't afford a pet, don't get a fucking pet Jonny.

I'm now wondering exactly what the fuck were you feeding them earlier, because my thinking is that you have to use a better or more fitting pet food brand more than the raws...

Honestly at this point I bet you just had them root in the fucking trash at the old hovel, since that screams malnutrition by neglect you fucking subhuman specimen.

This is the doggy equivalent of making them eat lard... how horrifying. And you're too lazy to even feed your own doggo, how fucking repulsive.

A dog food ordering app seems kind of inane, but hey I can see why it'd exist. It'd be obsolete due to Amazon and online stores already, but still... it's a C+ idea.

Shame I know you too well, since you're gonna just be a lazy monkey and just bitch about life until you die by whatever means claims you first.

OF FUCKING COURSE YOU'D SHIT ON THE IT GUYS YOU NEED JON! OF FUCKING COURSE YOU'D TREAT THE PEOPLE LIKE THEY'RE DISPOSABLE AND JUST TAKE THE CREDIT FOR JUST THE IDEA!

You absolute bell-end...

Pretty sure it's more that we've decisively demolished your delusions of ever going back, but honestly you'll probably just delude yourself into a new bitch fit and talk shit about a plan to do it anyway by next year.

And that's why you use the same talking points and still hold these delusions on some level. It's also why you refuse to take responsibility and grow up as you piss away your twilight years and rely on a guy you hate to not starve to death.

Not really since it was brought up a long while ago in this thread.

And yet you treated this horrid place like it was Mecca, Jerusalem, or the Bodhi Tree of Enlightenment. This says A LOT about how unhygenic you really are Mr. Pisses in Bottles, Sinks, and Windows.

And yet you wanted to squat in this fucking dump.

Hilariously, I'll actually throw you a bone here, since I'd love the idea of you bugging your family and financially ruin yourself doing this: you probably could if you can prove by going to a doctor that your wheezy ass suffered fungal based lung and throat damage at that time.

I hope you do it, mainly because I'd love to see the self-destruction it'd cause due to the dark amounts of schadenfreude I'd get.

While I do agree with the substance of your arguments against this brick-brained (I like that) fucktard, our subjects here are called lolcows, not ragecows, for a reason. In that distinction lies the difference between a post that is amusing and readable, and one that just makes the reader say, "Holy fuck, why are you taking this idiot so seriously? tl;dr." Hence, my Mad at the Internet rating.

Look, Sweet is a complete and utter write-off as far as humans go. But here's the one good thing about him: he has no power to actually do anything. No money, no employment prospects, no friends, no ability to influence others to any meaningful degree. If he's getting a tugboat, it's a lot cheaper than housing him in jail or an institution. He's a completely ineffectual reeetard, stuck in a long-dead past, living in a hell of his own making, and barking into the void in the hope that anybody else will stoop to notice his existence.

So anger at him, and the stupid shit he writes, is pointless (not to mention tedious). He is a lolcow. He has no social value except as a dunce to laugh at. So if you're going to do line-by-line "takedowns" of his foolishness, at least make it funny.

Oh, and spoiler that shit either way, because nobody wants to have to scroll past all that.

 

[Trombonista]

Eh, I had fun, and it's been a long time since he's posted something worth sporking since a lot of it is just minimal stuff and his unreadable comics; this one was just long as shit since he tried piling on so many of his old delusions to the mix as well as his usual non-brain thinking.

Next time, just spork the stupidest parts, and try to avoid sounding like you're having an imaginary conversation with him.

 

[AprilRains]

I was drunk and didn't feel like reading all of that.

Then go drink more and don't read it.

 

[ON 190]

I was drunk and didn't feel like reading all of that.

I knew I raised you up right.

No offense meant to @Adamska, since I enjoy your commentary.

 

[Adamska]

I'll note that honestly the only thing he did in that update that angered me seriously is how bad he handles his animals. The all capsing I did was mainly for jest, though I'll admit I didn't make it as funny as I thought. Will definitely be more brief though next time.

Next time, just spork the stupidest parts, and try to avoid sounding like you're having an imaginary conversation with him.

Thing is Jonny does actually read this type of stuff and occasionally responds to it since he refuses to let others have the last word, so technically the convo is in reality.

 

[Meowthkip]

Then go drink more and don't read it.

Well, maybe I will.

 

[AprilRains]

Well, maybe I will.

I'll buy your first. It was my idea, after all.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

While I do agree with the substance of your arguments against this brick-brained (I like that) fucktard, our subjects here are called lolcows, not ragecows, for a reason. In that distinction lies the difference between a post that is amusing and readable, and one that just makes the reader say, "Holy fuck, why are you taking this idiot so seriously? tl;dr." Hence, my Mad at the Internet rating.

Look, Sweet is a complete and utter write-off as far as humans go. But here's the one good thing about him: he has no power to actually do anything. No money, no employment prospects, no friends, no ability to influence others to any meaningful degree. If he's getting a tugboat, it's a lot cheaper than housing him in jail or an institution. He's a completely ineffectual reeetard, stuck in a long-dead past, living in a hell of his own making, and barking into the void in the hope that anybody else will stoop to notice his existence.

So anger at him, and the stupid shit he writes, is pointless (not to mention tedious). He is a lolcow. He has no social value except as a dunce to laugh at. So if you're going to do line-by-line "takedowns" of his foolishness, at least make it funny.

Oh, and spoiler that shit either way, because nobody wants to have to scroll past all that.

As recently as last year -- more than 20 years after he was expelled from ASU -- the Blytheville Horror was still contacting his former co-workers at The Herald with creepy messages to let them know that he hasn't forgotten or forgiven them. In at least one case, he mentioned the age and gender of the former co-worker's child and commented on the child's attractive appearance.

Don't tell us that Thumbskull is a harmless old lunatic who ain't bothering nobody.

 

[AnOminous]

All this time and this goddamn retard has done nothing but get even more nonfunctional. Even Chris is doing better than this absolute failure of a sped.

 

[The I Scream Man]

I love me some longposting so @Adamska gets a pass here, especially since to say otherwise would be hypocritical of me lol

 

[Rokko]

New pics. He looks a little bit less stupid now I guess?



Never mind...

Boring new deviantart entry:

​

It's truly a bittersweet Thanksgiving weekend this year at The Belchcave, a.k.a. Casa del Sweetchuck, a.k.a. The House That Butts Built--no, wait, that's that other big bearded webcomic guy. Er, never mind.
Anyhow, outside the weather is wet and gloomy, but inside the food is good, it's warm, and the company is pleasant enough... but all throughout the big meal I couldn't stop thinking that this was my first Thanskgiving spent in a long time without my best friend here by my side.
It's hard to believe it's been over eight months. It really is. Sometimes I find myself wondering if ol' Bear would still be here if I could have kept him indoors instead of having to leave him out in the yard all night. It was a pretty chilly winter, after with the "polar vortex" and temps dipping several times near the single digits last year. (Global warming, my ass.) Did the blustery breezes and drifting snowflakes blow a quinsy or something into his lungs and make my pal deathly sick? I've even considered that, if Bear hadn't been such a type-A personality, so constantly go-go-go whenever we were out and about, he might not have over-exerted himself right into an early grave. He should have taken a page from that old lazy critter Moochie's book and learned to just take it easy. Sure, a long, brisk walk can be nice, and it's wonderful exercise, but you have to appreciate the value of simply sitting down under a good shady tree on a warm summer's day.
________________________________________________

BLACK FRIDAY 2019 / NEW COMIC DAY!!!!!


This year's Black Friday sale offerings include the debut of Sonida (no, not Sonichu; that's the other other guy), The long-awaited Chris-Chan story, and the Christmas 2012 issue, featuring the greatly-anticipated and much-debated tale "New Year's Evil"!

You'll notice I skipped a couple numbers there... those issues will be available forthwith, dear friends. I'm sorry, but, you see, some of my files and the devices I've saved them on, as well as my hard copy, are still languishing admist the clutter in my storage unit, which may make my production and release schedule spotty and quite erratic for the forseeable future. Fear not; I'll be caught up on this backlog as soon as possible.

Oh, and don't worry, I haven't forgotten about continuing my last comic upload. The family is out at a Black Friday sale buying their own computer, so I'm hoping by the start of next month that'll put an end to this tiresome sharing-of-equipment silliness.

So, adios 'til then, amigos.

https://www.deviantart.com/haggismccrablice/journal/Nov-30-2019-821996527

 

[RepQuest]

no, wait, that's that other big bearded webcomic guy.

Imagine comparing yourself to someone who's actually funny among your drivel.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

Well of course he'd leave his pets outside in frigid weather without adequate shelter. I'm sure they're not allowed in whatever slum studio apartment his brother is renting for him.