Now that I know I'll be here for today and not working, let's go through the large wave of word vomit that Jonny typed up like a coroner goes through the mangled remains of a murder victim:
What is Education said:
I can't stand all this inane hype about global warming, or global climate change, or whatever the hell they call it now. I for one, welcome it.
Now, you can disagree with the idea that humans are a part of this increase in global temperatures all you want (including those fellow kiwis that do), but that doesn't actually mean that the temperatures are not rising; literally every climatologist and scientist that works with that field agree on the idea the Earth is currently warming up; the real-people debate moved on to whether or not it's human based, or if it's due to naturalistic means. I'd be impressed that a college boy with a Bach degree and a session of Master's studies down doesn't get the idea at all given that they should still have a high schooler's understanding of science just by remedial classes alone. But this is Jonny, a manchild who when faced with an idea just desperately tries to avoid showing off his crippling learning disability and demanding you do all the work for him in learning this idea.
Would go Extinct said:
Yesterday was laundry day, which meant all my long pants and my fav olive-green green hoodie were in the wash, so I had to walk the dogs in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. It was 54 deg F (12 deg C), and I was perfectly comfortable. You have to remember, I live in the South. Our winters are usually pretty comfortable, barring the odd cold snap now and again. A couple of weeks ago the merc was hovering at 37 or 38 deg F (a bare 3 deg C).
In this little segment, Jonny reveals that he does not do any planning or have reserve cold-weather clothes on hand in case things get nippy down there for longer than a day or two. God help his retarded soul if he ever had to deal with colder weather for more than a few days. Further reasons why I believe when Ma dies he will die alone, confused, and hungry about a week later.
*Heavy Breathing* said:
I was walking
Bear up on 3rd Street and I saw this pretty little gal walking along in a pair of jean shorts so tight they looked as if they were painted on her ass and legs. I'm talking Stacked 'n' Packed Barbie here. I wonder if she would have liked to sit on Sweetchuck Claus' lap and tell me what she wants for Christmas... after which I'd tell her a few things
I'd like to recieve. Ho, ho...
ho'!
Imagine that you're the teenage girl that's going on her weekly jog. You put on your shorts and top and just go out; the exercise will keep you warm for this chilly day. You're about mile two or three down your five to seven mile activity and then you see a mongrel of a mutt and a homeless person staring at you and is mumbling about "getting some presents" like this:
If you're screaming right now; then don't worry. I was too for the last few minutes; it's a normal response whenever Jonny reveals how absolutely thirsty he is due to his virgin with rage status.
Shit Comic and Sperging No One Cares About said:
Poor body structure for the characters ranging from not bothering with perspective to not bothering about making the body shapes consistent from panel to panel, a non-joke beyond at best maybe a name pun that isn't funny, and still being too retarded to know how to use Paypal or something due to not being trusted around cards so you expect an imaginary audience to mail you money. Keep on reposting this old stuff while neglecting to make new product due to laziness you utter never-was.
FUCK said:
A few shots of me celebrating, just three hours away from the stroke of midnight.
Muh Amnyfest Ring said:
Up-close shot of my bling. It's a medallion I won in a Famous Writers poetry contest some 15 or so years back. Sometimes, for special occassions, I like to put it on and swank a little.
It always amuses me that I bet to this day you still probably think you're better than Chris. Why? Because this utter facet of sad-faggery is pretty much the high school ring that Chris put so much stock in because like that medallion for you, it represented better times for him. Hell, that you unironically wear a medallion's another comparison.
Also, this is what happens when you can't be bothered to continue since you have still refused to publish a book for over seven years by this point.
I Will Die Homeless and Starving said:
I resolve this year to do exactly what I've been doing all along. Why change? I'm great. After much thought I realize I've absolutely been doing everything right.
It's the people I'm surrounded with who've got all the stupid little problems and silly issues. Seriously, guys, knock it off. It's getting old.
So you're going to continue to molder on a delusion due to being unable to take the L, get angry when forced to leave the premises of that apartment when it too collapses into mold and rot since you're a lazy fuck, and continue to not have a life-line in the form of a career and suckle on Ma's generosity and extra money until she dies then you angry sped? Because that tactic is why you're a miserable sack of shit right now, and why I do honestly believe why we'll have your obituary about a month after Ma's.
Late to the Trend said:
This story is essentially a satire stemming from an adverse reaction to my biggest trigger warning-- reading news about any new leftist idiocy to come rolling down the pike. Today it's the current progressive notion permeating our American educational system-- a growing movement to establish "
safe spaces" for its students within its walls-- which confuses and astounds me.
Congrats Jonny, you were about four or so years late at least for this cry fest to remotely mean anything... also I cannot wait to see how you try to trollshield using this since that's what your fake conservative LARPing is.
Decade Long Grudge and Trollshielding said:
In the brave new age of Obama, liberals prided themselves on their ability to squeeze a nickel 'til the buffalo shat (well, their nickels, at any rate-- ours they still threw around like it was going out of style). "Sacrifice" and "too much" were Big Barry O.'s buzzwords all through the 2008 election.
You mean that during the recession people had to be
careful with money?! Whodathunk that? Oh yeah, anyone who actually had money to spend and who was not the ultra-poor leech that
relies on government largess to refuse to get a job they consider beneath them. Jonny, you are basically just the white trash equivalent of a bixnood welfare queen, and you can't even deny this given you refuse to work.
Dishonest Hillbilly who Demands Gibmedats From the Government said:
We were to start cutting back, and cutting back, and then cut back some more. The "staycation" was the hip new thing.
We'd had the fat times; now came the lean ones. The indulgent college perks packages of the Clinton era were a thing of the past, I was told-- or were never actually real to begin with... replaced with Play-Doh, coloring books, videos of cute kittens and frolicking puppies, soft music, cookies and tard cum, and naps. But the kicker was when I read that
therapy dogs are now being brought into Universities to help students cope.
And you're now intentionally condensing years between when we had to cut costs or suffer and when the Strasserists came into vogue and began dominating airwaves. Also, nice attempt to slip your retarded delusion back in; it's still wrong, and no matter how many notes you take from creationist tactics to force it back in, we'll still prove you wrong by inches.
And again, you replicate the hood rat you hate when you scream and demand for some gibmedats. Nice "conservatism" dipshit, you may be voting for the wrong party if all you care about is free shit.
I Need to Not Be Allowed to Keep Animals said:
Wait a minute here. Music and snacks and arts-n-crafts supplies are all pretty cheap, and that's all well and good, I suppose... but now it's dogs? Aren't these the same sort of people who take me to task for not spaying and neutering
my cats?
Apples and oranges you butt-blasted dope. Letting dogs in to help those who may need them (and then dealing with dipshits that sneak them in and lie about their service status) is a whole kettle of fish different than just hoarding animals and being an asshole by letting them loose all over the place as ferals like what you did.
The rest of your paragraph is questions you really don't want answers to since they'd blow you out of the water, so let's just answer them anyway and record the screams.
No Theory of Mind said:
Wouldn't they be perpetuating the same unfettered breeding practices just to keep up with the demands of needy, traumatized, brain-fried post-
#MeToo era millennials in the age of Trump?
No, because most owners of dogs and especially service dogs make sure their doggos are spayed or neutered from the get-go. It gets rid of the annoyance of heat and in the case of males drops aggression. Also means you don't have to deal with surprise puppies you might not be able to afford keeping if you aren't the best owner (hint hint).
Trying to Make Strawman Look Dumb but Just Makes Self Dumb said:
Just where are these happy hounds coming from? Are they being donated by a reputable shelter or getting bought off some shady puppy mill?
They vary actually, but often are bred from either reputable breeders or from shelters as pups by those who can train them. Source: a person I know who has a side hobby training service dogs and most of the times she just goes to those to find them.
Genuinely Good Question but Refuses to Research said:
Do they plan to rent them from somewhere or quarter the dogs right there on campus?
Like I said, this would be a good question to start off researching with. But since you don't move from step one and I at least did a minimum for this, then here's the answer: it's from the student you absolute moron. The service pups belong to and are quartered by the student based on the minimal research I did for this. That you can't is another bit of evidence you have a severe learning disability or a brain disorder.
Answered Already said:
Surely they aren't just nabbing mutts off the street and pressing them into service-- it takes specially-trained dogs for that sort of work, right?
Ya, but it's a dog the student already owns due to needing them in the first place. Or in the place of con-men, just their dogs that they lie about needing.
Stahp said:
Handlers and trainers cost money. So does food, dog toys, treats, leashes, regular grooming... and what of vet bills?
On the student. Next.
Pot Calling Kettle a Kaffir said:
What if the dogs are disabled, emotionally fragile, or have special needs?
Then they probably aren't service dogs. Even if they are, then again it's the student's responsibility given they are full grown adults in spite of their own issues... same as you Jonny.
Unfunny said:
What if they start to feel overwhelmed by the kids and the long work hours and start wanting their own therapy pets?
If this is a joke; it ain't funny. If it's serious, then you're a tard.
Clearly Cannot Do Math said:
Compounded over a semester, all that could get pretty pricey-- and, ultimately, show up in the form of higher tuition costs for all.
Not if it's on the student's own bill since it's their dog. At most they might need to pay for an extra custodial staff member to clean up dog shit and hair.
HE STILL MAD said:
When I dared to question the sense of University safe spaces, I was told by one forward-thinking mind that for the low, low price of a box of crayons, Junior's bright academic future can be assured. So... put a handful of pennies in a student's door-lock, it's a silly, sophomoric college prank. Spend in on a box of crayons, they're one step closer to that college degree. Liberal thinking on parade, folks.
Okay Jonny, let's go over this again even though I know you will refuse to understand this since it would make you realize your delusion was a lie and you'd probably kill yourself over wasting half your life on this:
1. The college itself is providing a cheap little nook with materials for the equivalent of a kid's "destress" routine some elementary ed teachers have for kids with emotional disturbances. While I don't see the complete efficacy of this approach as I think the same thing could be done by just taking a few minutes to destress in class, this was on the college higher ups. Rule from on high.
2. You got pranked by students who couldn't stand your upfront racism and tendency to be a disgusting pig and obnoxious fuck who ruined every entertainment venue you showed up to by them penny'ing you into the room. This was the students doing that to you, and the college as a whole did not have anything to do with that incident you mong.
3. You will then crow again about how those pennies are gifts, proving you are a greedy liberal pig who just demands gimmedats.
Jonny Can't Joke said:
And that's just the cheapie 60-cent box, now, with eight classic colors. By their logic, if you spring for the big 64-crayon job, why, the kid could be on his way to earning his doctorate.
You really need to stop trying to write zingers; they don't work for you and it just isn't funny.
GIBMEDAT said:
So is the argument supposed to be that happy, relaxed students perform better? Fine. But it is possible to make the student's lives a little more pleasurable without treating a bunch of twentysomethings, who are ostensibly young adults at this point, like a pack of pre-schoolers. There has to be some compromise we can strike between Animal House and goddamn Romper Room that will please everybody at the table.
The idea of this room is rooted in actual therapies used for adults, which actually do include crayon work and playing with clay. At least some of them are also designed to have social workers that help the student cope with whatever got them to the state they needed to go into this room as well as help them as needed for life goals.
That you just see it as a party room says a lot about your lacking emotional intelligence. As well as normal intelligence if I had to be honest.
Projecting on the Moon said:
But, hey, progressives never want to cooperate or listen to anyone else's thoughts on anything... even if it's their own two decades-old ideas, what they wanted before, repackaged and improved. So they'll just continue to throw their brainless tantrums, run from their past, and bumble everything, as usual.
You know, if you replace the word "Progressive" with Jonathan Mack Sweet, you actually get reality as it really stands. Nice proof you hate yourself but can't nut up to acknowledge these to be your actual flaws.
Doesn't Get the Point of Service Dogs and Safe Spaces said:
Look, if you college kids want to hang around with dogs all all day, you can volunteer at the local animal shelter and just pet those puppies silly. If you want to spend your days in a paradise for four- and five-year-olds, volunteer at a kindergarten class or sign up to read to children at the local library.
Jonny, these aren't really designed to be things the college students play with. They are at their core designed to help them either deal with physical or emotional problems. It isn't play, it's therapy. Which ironically makes the fact that you're angry they have access to therapy funny given you stormed out of college due to not wanting to face the possibility you're fucked up in the head.
No Money said:
If you want to sit in a room and color pictures all day, why, I have a pile of
raw sketches right here, and I'd be happy to hire some interns.
With what money dude?
Rapid Aging Due to Poor Life Decisions said:
There's plenty of time to lie around and nap when you turn forty, your hips start to ache, and your knee makes a click when you try to walk up and down stairs.
No Jon that's not normal. It's indicative you treat your body like shit honestly.
Not A College Student Anymore said:
You're young. You're strong. You should be demanding more in life at this point. By all means, go out there and seek your happiness, but quit trying to turn my college campus into something out of
a VTN 3:30 PM-time slot nightmare, okay...?
You haven't been in a college in over 22 years Jon. And you won't be ever again due to your decision to spend four semesters being an utter psychopath and creep.
