🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

  • ⚙️ Performance issue identified and being addressed.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
I'm not a fruit, and I don't believe in office romances.
That's fine, I appreciate all the interest you've been showing me but honestly I'd feel bad, I try not to get dates from the special ed room. ;)

Seriously you should quit while you're ahead, there is no reality or thread of existence where this doesn't end badly for you and I'd hate to see baby get his widdle feewings huwt.
 
Icon, I think your problem is that you don't accept your failures and refuse to change. Instead of accepting that you fucked up on your school newspaper and trying to move on in life, you've become obsessed with it and woven it into a grand conspiracy where everyone is out to get you. You're trying to regress to a time that you've idealized instead of trying to change or learn from your mistakes.
 
Hello dorkness, my old friend.

Funny, that's the impression I got. Every time I talk about something about college I'd like to recreate on the outside, someone comes along and tells me:
Because you're not taking action to "create" anything. You're just stamping your feet and whining for the world to stop doing things you don't like and turn itself back to "half-past 1997", whatever the hell that means. You can cry and tantrum all you want about how The Man is keeping you down , but the truth is that you're perpetuating your own misery because you refuse to even try to adapt to the modern world.

It was never allowed before. My brother was so paranoid about me calling the police on him that he forbade me from having one, and if he'd found one I'd hidden somewhere, he would have had a meltdown and hurt me severely. However, I'm happy to say he is getting help to get off drugs, turn his life around, and learn to control his anger, so maybe someday.
"I can't because Bubby says no!" What are you, five? I honestly don't understand why you've continued to live for so long with someone who makes you fear for your life. I've known people who lived on the streets and considered it a step up from living with abusive family members, just because they weren't trapped with someone who might beat them to death in a blind rage. What's keeping you from packing up and going somewhere you can live life on your terms?

I'm genuinely glad to hear your brother is getting help, however. Though this begs the question: your drug-addict brother is learning how to turn his life around. Why can't you?

I can't go back to school because even if I had the money I'd still run into people's sneering elitist and ageist attitudes.
Bro, as long as you're going to school for the right reasons nobody cares how old you are. (For the record, "the right reasons" are not a. to pick up chicks half your age or b. to live forever as a college kid years after you should have moved on.) I returned to college to get a degree when I was in my late 20s and there were people there decades older than me. If you want to get an education to better your life, then get to work researching scholarship opportunities and do it.
 
Still blaming everyone else and afraid of your brother, it seems.
No, merely asking them to take responsibility for their part in our dispute. And I haven't seen my brother since he started rehab. They tell me he's doing well.

This is probably the most reasonable, thoughtful post you've written here.
Thank you. You don't go out of your way to be hostile towards me or insult my art, so I repaid the favor. Don't make me sorry.

Plans for moving forward:
  • Cleaning out and moving into the guest room. I'll have more room, and we can start repairing the wall and roof soon as we have more money coming in.
  • Buy a new computer after I move to my new room. That will increase my productivity dramatically. More stories, more books, more comics, more money.
  • Writing letters to my former business partner, my ex-girlfriend, and the 1997 Herald editorial staff, carefully discussing my grievances with them and asking what I did to make them want to hurt me. If I knew what I was doing wrong on my last three jobs, it might go a long way towards helping me in future ones.
  • Get back into the Melaleuca sales game. I like the product, I like working at home, and I like being my own boss.
  • See a doctor about my throat, eyesight, and carpal tunnel syndrome problems.
So did you take over your college paper like you promised?
Next year. Red, Yellow, and Blue. Look for it.
 
Thank you. You don't go out of your way to be hostile towards me or insult my art, so I repaid the favor. Don't make me sorry.

Plans for moving forward:
  • Cleaning out and moving into the guest room. I'll have more room, and we can start repairing the wall and roof soon as we have more money coming in.
  • Buy a new computer after I move to my new room. That will increase my productivity dramatically. More stories, more books, more comics, more money.
  • Get back into the Melaleuca sales game. I like the product, I like working at home, and I like being my own boss.
  • See a doctor about my throat, eyesight, and carpal tunnel syndrome problems.

Next year. Red, Yellow, and Blue. Look for it.

These are all good ideas, especially the sales work and the going to the doctor for your throat, eyesight, and carpal tunnel syndrome. Can I suggest also seeing a counselor? That person may be able to help you move past some of the obstacles that are holding you back.

  • Writing letters to my former business partner, my ex-girlfriend, and the 1997 Herald editorial staff, carefully discussing my grievances with them and asking what I did to make them want to hurt me. If I knew what I was doing wrong on my last three jobs, it might go a long way towards helping me in future ones.

This one is more problematic, though. I understand where you are coming from on this, but practically speaking I think you'll be disappointed. Most of them will probably not even respond to you simply because so much time has elapsed. In 15 years these folks have, in all honestly, probably forgotten the details of a lot what transpired because they've had lots of other events in their lives, many of them challenging. Really the best time to talk to them would have been a couple of months after the incidents. Also, their views of what happened might be 180 degrees different than yours. You can write them if you think it will give you catharsis, and as long as you aren't threatening or libelous, just be prepared for some or all of the letters not to be replied to, or for them to be along the lines of, "Don't contact me again."

And by "former business partner," if you are referring to this guy: http://www.oregonlive.com/health/index.ssf/2010/01/hospitals_fight_back_to_battle.html, per this: http://haggismccrablice.deviantart.com/journal/Oct-28-2014-491277814#comments, I think you should hold off for a while, considering he has antibiotic-resistant bacteria eating his leg away at the moment.

I could go back 15 years in my life and find several people who I felt dicked me over, and probably vice-verse too. But memories fade and get less accurate with time, and we tend to retcon events to our favor in our own minds. And most importantly, people tend to change over 15 years (maybe for the better, maybe for the worse, or maybe just different), because they've had a lot of experiences, both significant and mundane, in the meantime, and experiences change people.
 
Last edited:
  • Writing letters to my former business partner, my ex-girlfriend, and the 1997 Herald editorial staff, carefully discussing my grievances with them and asking what I did to make them want to hurt me. If I knew what I was doing wrong on my last three jobs, it might go a long way towards helping me in future ones.
Seriously bro? Word of advice, they don't care. This was 1997. That's nearly 20 years ago. If they do it's because you have been annoying them about this. You need to just drop this vendetta and walk away.

EDIT- So you're not getting an actual job? You can work on your hobby all you want but you're like 40 something. A grown up job would look better than working on your silly political cartoon.
 
Have you ever thought of working as a celebrity lookalike, Iconoclast?

I think you'd make a very passable David Cross; particularly as his popular character "Tobias Funke" from Arrested Development.
 
He better bring the thunder...
Okay, if you insist.
0007874243075_500X500.jpg

But you must admit, saying I don't love my mother is just wrong. I don't think she always knows what she's doing, however. I had the two shops that she recommended I go work for fold out right under me, and a relationship with a girl-- the niece of the same friend who had the doll shop, in fact -- that she introduced me to (apparently to distract me from trying to reconcile with my ex) didn't last either.

What's keeping you from packing up and going somewhere you can live life on your terms?
I tried that twice. And even if I was doing well for myself, my ex-partner is still out there, probably tricking some poor naive kid into being his new shop assistant, stinking up their life. I couldn't live with that guilt. I want his new shop to fold. If I sound heartless, I'm sorry, but if his leg rotted off from leprosy, I wouldn't give two frigs. I got sick and started losing my voice because he was a coward, leaving me out there running around under that blazing sun all summer instead of sitting in a nice air-conditioned store, trying to make up all the commissions I lost on his account. I've considered posting negative reviews of his shop on every website available. First, however, I will try to get in touch with him and hear his side of the story. Who knows, maybe I wasn't a peach to work with either.

[Y]our drug-addict brother is learning how to turn his life around. Why can't you?
See, I knew someone would eventually ask that. Simple answer: addicts and alcoholics do that to themselves. Eventually the addiction takes over and becomes unbearable, and they have a choice: get help or die. People are willing to help those who genuinely want help. They build homes and centers expressly for that purpose. What happened to me was perpetrated by other people, for whatever sick reasons they had--greed, jealousy, revenge, or just plain meanness. I have no one to help me. There is no facility where I can go to spend six months or a year living like a college student, healing, recovering, growing stronger in mind and body, maybe having a little fun now and again. Still, I think contacting my old "friends" to hear their side of the story is a step in the right direction.

 
See, I knew someone would eventually ask that. Simple answer: addicts and alcoholics do that to themselves.
And? Your current situation is your own doing. All I hear is excuses, excuses, excuses. "Bubby took all my money and won't let me have a cell phone! Mommy controls my finances! Obama hid my remote! Perry White kicked me off the Daily Planet staff and blacklisted me everywhere! Lizardmen in the White House!"

I mean, geez, you said it yourself - people are willing to help those who genuinely want help. People on this board have been giving you feedback and advice, and I'd bet there are people in real life who would help you if you just asked. It's not necessarily easy finding that help, which is an obstacle, but once you do the legwork and start utilizing the resources you find, you'll discover others that can assist you in different areas of your life. Can't get anywhere unless you put in some effort, though, sry2say.

There is no facility where I can go to spend six months or a year living like a college student,
Dude, why are you so obsessed with being an eternal college kid? It's over. You cannot recapture those days no matter how hard you try. Live in the now, try to make a better future for yourself instead of wallowing in the past. To quote OMD: "Don't believe that anything can recreate your youth."
 
See, I knew someone would eventually ask that. Simple answer: addicts and alcoholics do that to themselves. Eventually the addiction takes over and becomes unbearable, and they have a choice: get help or die. People are willing to help those who genuinely want help. They build homes and centers expressly for that purpose. What happened to me was perpetrated by other people, for whatever sick reasons they had--greed, jealousy, revenge, or just plain meanness. I have no one to help me. There is no facility where I can go to spend six months or a year living like a college student.
You're giving Mylar a run for his money.
Actually, you're a lot more like Mylar than Chris, Mylar is also stuck in the 1990s, iirc he hates MP3s and prefers CDs and fanny packs.
 
I thought the whole point of the Lolcow board was to laugh at morons, not give them advice. Now, if you want advice, I (or other people) would be willing to talk to you in a PM or go to the Lolcow Chat.
 
Have you ever thought of working as a celebrity lookalike, Iconoclast? I think you'd make a very passable David Cross; particularly as his popular character "Tobias Funke" from Arrested Development.
I'm too tall. Although I would like to have a set of those business cards made up.
tumblr_mfxlisPaYz1qg0bkso1_500.jpg

In my youth they always said I had a Burt Reynolds thing going on.

So you're not getting an actual job?
I may not be cut out for a 9-to-5 grind. But work-at-home businesses are still a perfectly viable option.

You can work on your hobby all you want but you're like 40 something.
  • It's more than a hobby now. It's a life's mission.
  • I'm only 39.
A grown-up job would look better than working on your silly political cartoon.
Oh, yes, coworkers who resent me, a boss whose attitude towards me was that she needs another columnist as much as they need another light table in the office, and a mental midget of a partner who insults me every time he can't have his way or threatens to cut me out of the business whenever I second-guess him one too many times looks so good on a resume.

And this is your concern because?
He skipped town. He's the reason my brother took over around here. He ruined my life. Now he's out there living it up (bum leg notwithstanding--no pun intended), and apparently hasn't learned a thing. He's dangerous and wrong. I want people to know the truth about that monster. I want him stopped.

Can I suggest also seeing a counselor? That person may be able to help you move past some of the obstacles that are holding you back.
Sorry, my experience with my college's assoc dean of j.a. soured me on the whole idea of counseling. I was led to believe he was going to moderate the dispute between me and the editors so we could come to an agreement, however, he said it "wasn't necessary". It was part of a very ugly game he was playing. Also, I admit I do worry I might be placed on meds. They'd muddy my mind and interfere with my ability to write. Not worth it.

Really the best time to talk to them would have been a couple of months after the incident.
No, they were still pouting about it then. (In fact, there was an incident only one month later, dramatized here, that suggests they may have been downright homicidal about it.) They were still mad about it a year later, if my former mentor's reply to my e-mail is to be believed; they were still mad five years later; 10 years later, still mad. I'm hoping after almost 20 years cooler heads will prevail and we can be objective, but I doubt it. Also, it took over a decade for technology to catch up to the dispute. Facebook's only been around since 2004; Hulu was created ten years after I left the paper. Then, months of begging NBC to mail us a VHS of the SNL episode in question, likely with no reply. Now, a simple Google search and a quick e-mail attachment. We could hold my second hearing on Skype (created 2003) and never leave our respective offices.

Foxy, what the hell is with you people and lizard men?
tumblr_mee837MdEd1qedb29o1_500.gif

 
Last edited:
You are still necroing the thread. How nice.

Also, I should mention that Herpies King over here lives in the same state as me.

Should I feel disgusted by the place even more now?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I’m the vice president of the College Republicans at my university as well as an intern for a certain Republican Governor. Given that one of the Republican Party’s most cherished principles is self-sufficiency, why do you think you would be a celebrated figure in our circle considering your lifestyle of apathy and dependence?
 
Back
Top Bottom