🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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Dr. Merkwurdichliebe said:
Here he claims to have "a couple of dead cat skins." I wonder where the other one came from. (And let's not forget that the use of the phrase "a couple of" to mean "several" has been in standard usage for centuries and is especially common in the South. Just how large is this collection dead cat heads?)
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Basically if you're a cat and Sweet spots you on the lawn the only way to save yourself from this horrible fate is to mesmerize him by defecating.
 
Holdek said:
Basically if you're a cat and Sweet spots you on the lawn the only way to save yourself from this horrible fate is to mesmerize him by defecating.
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Eh, Sweet would gibber and cry when the cat saunters off since it's clearly impossible to chase the slow moving creature. He probably got them from roadkill while wandering the road picking cans like some sort of tribal apeman.
 
I just wanted to make sure we preserved what a sick fuck Jon is, so when the authorities find him living with his mom's corpse and wearing her skin, no one is shocked.

http://archive.is/iYoHC
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Lord Belchington said:
So, figuring as a former purveyor of lawn-care equipment myself, and therefore part of the whole mower fixin'-and-selllin' brotherhood, why not take advantage of the event?
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Because I rarely take sales advice from someone who willingly posts pictures like this:
snapshot_4_by_haggismccrablice-db3yazy.jpg


Christ, he's like an extra in a bad sci-fi movie...
 
It always amazes me how unbelievably fuck ugly Sweets is. His brothers aren't male models or anything but at least they look like pretty average southern good old boys. Sweets has facial features usually only seen in dog attack victims or the severely inbred.
 
Ruin said:
severely inbred
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That would explain a LOT. However, I do think his family tree forks, just that he got the worst possible genetic makeup without having an extra chromosome. Maybe he doesn't have enough. He's fascinating in a horrible sort of way. How can one person be so broken?
If he didn't have internet connectivity on his laptop before now, how the hell was he posting? I thought the laptop was it as far as computers went in the Sweet home.
 
flossman said:
Because I rarely take sales advice from someone who willingly posts pictures like this:
snapshot_4_by_haggismccrablice-db3yazy.jpg


Christ, he's like an extra in a bad sci-fi movie...
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I'd say it's more like a bad horror movie.

Why is Sweet posting pictures of himself in his underwear and a shirt that might have fit him in junior high school? Is this common on DeviantArt or is The Stalking Horror attempting to start some kind of disgusting fad? Does he expect this image to generate a flood of messages from "barely legal Betties"?

I fear that the most reasonable explanation is that I'm hallucinating.
 
flossman said:
Because I rarely take sales advice from someone who willingly posts pictures like this:
snapshot_4_by_haggismccrablice-db3yazy.jpg


Christ, he's like an extra in a bad sci-fi movie...
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He was rejected as an extra for The Hills Have Eyes for looking like too much of a mutant.
 
Dr. Merkwurdichliebe said:
I'd say it's more like a bad horror movie.

Why is Sweet posting pictures of himself in his underwear and a shirt that might have fit him in junior high school? Is this common on DeviantArt or is The Stalking Horror attempting to start some kind of disgusting fad? Does he expect this image to generate a flood of messages from "barely legal Betties"?

I fear that the most reasonable explanation is that I'm hallucinating.
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I think that this may be following from the "exercise" he's been doing, thinking he's muscling up. The truth of the matter is that
1. he's still a flabby pile of skin drawn over cartilage (he has no muscle tone, and we can easily see his gut), and

2. he's freakishly unappealing.

Jon doesn't want to accept that, though. There are a number of different photos he has taken of himself, clearly in the mindset that others look forward to seeing him. Like most everything else in his life, he couldn't be more wrong.

ETA: I'm sure y'all have noticed Sweet's closed the comments, perhaps preemptively. Man, such a fragile little snowflake, isn't he?
 
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help i can't stop laughing

Someone took that picture because y'all know DAMN WELL that he's too stupid to work a camera timer
 
Honestly, this is Jon's attention whoring at work. The Kiwis are the last remaining people giving this guy any attention at all. He doesn't want to acknowledge this truth, but on some level he knows this is true. Nobody is focused on him but a forum mocking his behavior.

He no longer has the AJM forum so he's alone again. If he wasn't so mentally overstimulated by the cold hard truth that we throw at him here, Jon would be updating on a more regular schedule. I think he brought back shirtless!Jon just because it would give him the brief high of attention he's so deprived of.
 
AJMLurker said:
Honestly, this is Jon's attention whoring at work. The Kiwis are the last remaining people giving this guy any attention at all. He doesn't want to acknowledge this truth, but on some level he knows this is true. Nobody is focused on him but a forum mocking his behavior.

He no longer has the AJM forum so he's alone again. If he wasn't so mentally overstimulated by the cold hard truth that we throw at him here, Jon would be updating on a more regular schedule. I think he brought back shirtless!Jon just because it would give him the brief high of attention he's so deprived of.
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Couldn't agree more. I could be wrong, but the way I see it, the AJM forum wasn't merely a place where Jon could speak his mind, but also a place where he was tolerated in a "Oh, that wacky Uncle Jon! What'll he think up next!" context. But now, things have to be different. This guy has admitted that he has no irl friends. No one to talk to but his mom (or brothers, perhaps?), no one truly acknowledging him but us. What a lonely life this guy must lead.
 
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