🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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It is absolutely bizarre that he wants a "few hundred thousand", a sum which could probably buy him a nice house in his neck of the woods or a more modest one in a larger city, or even just set him up for a while in an apartment somewhere, but he still wants to live in a dorm setting. Like, this is one of those instances when I realize just how differently Jon's criminally diseased mind works compared to a normal person's, because I cannot for the life of me make my brain go through the steps of logic that makes such a plan look appealing or sensible.
 
I like the part where they think he's being purposely plotted against in an attempt to contain him because he'd be too dangerous to "da system" or whatever if allowed to flourish.

It's amazing. Just incredible. This guy is one of the most incompetent people I've ever heard of, so cognitively dysfunctional that he doesn't understand how to use a salad bar, and he thinks he's some dangerous ubermensch.

He's like every negative libertarian stereotype made manifest.
 
Shadow Fox said:
It is absolutely bizarre that he wants a "few hundred thousand", a sum which could probably buy him a nice house in his neck of the woods or a more modest one in a larger city, or even just set him up for a while in an apartment somewhere, but he still wants to live in a dorm setting. Like, this is one of those instances when I realize just how differently Jon's criminally diseased mind works compared to a normal person's, because I cannot for the life of me make my brain go through the steps of logic that makes such a plan look appealing or sensible.
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It never ceases to impress me how Sweet's dream of perpetual dorm life is indistinguishable from a group home.
 
Sweet probably likes dorm life because living on one's own (outside of college) usually entails more responsibility. In a typical dorm life, one may not even need to cook for oneself because of the cafeteria. Then there's the predictable routine and a social life that college living easily provides.

It's also telling that Sweet thinks everyone at a job would be hostile to him.
 
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Well he wouldn't be wrong, if only because his selfish and offputting behavior would ruin pretty much any goodwill his coworkers might have for him eventually... if he actually believed his political alignment and got off his fat ass, strap his boots, and get a job.
 
Chan the Wizard said:
At least Jon's father didn't live to see what a failure his son had become.

His timeline of events is really confusing too. By December 17th most universities would be closed for the fall semester. Why was he still there? Why would the Herald be printing a paper? Why did he think his dead dad would get a woman wet?

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As I read this, Sweet is stating the following: Unless all of my enemies get together and write me a check for $600,000, I am going to continue to stalk, harass and threaten them. I will ruin their lives, cost them their jobs and eventually murder them in my hog slaughtering pen "deep in the woods."

Stalking. Harassment. Terroristic threats. Extortion.

But the judge will dismiss all of these charges when Sweet's court-appointed lawyer points out that his client was unjustly fired from a sub-minimum-wage job at a college newspaper in 1997. The judge will hold the district attorney in contempt for filing the charges; he will imprison the grand jurors who indicted Sweet; and he will order the witnesses in Sweet's prosecution on multiple felony counts to pay the defendant $600,000. Because in the U.S. legal system, getting fired for plagiarism at a college newspaper entitles the plagiarist (who signed a confession admitting his guilt) to commit felonies against everyone involved and against anyone else he happens to dislike.

Do I have that right?
 
Adamska said:
Well he wouldn't be wrong, if only because his selfish and offputting behavior would ruin pretty much any goodwill his coworkers might have for him eventually...
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As you probably already know, he thinks there's nothing wrong with him. So the only conclusion he can reach is that it's because of some Sweetish conspiracy theory involving liberals. And of course he also projects what he remembers at The Herald and the time he worked at that shop onto every other job out there.
 
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Dr. Merkwurdichliebe said:
As I read this, Sweet is stating the following: Unless all of my enemies get together and write me a check for $600,000, I am going to continue to stalk, harass and threaten them. I will ruin their lives, cost them their jobs and eventually murder them in my hog slaughtering pen "deep in the woods."

Stalking. Harassment. Terroristic threats. Extortion.

But the judge will dismiss all of these charges when Sweet's court-appointed lawyer points out that his client was unjustly fired from a sub-minimum-wage job at a college newspaper in 1997. The judge will hold the district attorney in contempt for filing the charges; he will imprison the grand jurors who indicted Sweet; and he will order the witnesses in Sweet's prosecution on multiple felony counts to pay the defendant $600,000. Because in the U.S. legal system, getting fired for plagiarism at a college newspaper entitles the plagiarist (who signed a confession admitting his guilt) to commit felonies against everyone involved and against anyone else he happens to dislike.

Do I have that right?
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Sweet, being Sweet, would probably clarify it with, "They would't dare rock the can of worms lest it all come tumbling down."
 
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ToroidalBoat said:
As you probably already know, he thinks there's nothing wrong with him. So the only conclusion he can reach is that it's because of some Sweetish conspiracy theory involving liberals. And of course he also projects what he remembers at The Herald and the time he worked at that shop onto every other job out there.
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He's right about everyone at a job hating him because unless he undergoes some major therapy and behavoiral modification he's going to piss off everyone in short order. He won't do anything unless shown, step by step, how to do it, and can't adapt if something changes, and he's too dim to realize that in a new job, starting out, you're at the bottom of the pecking order. He'd try to order people around.
 
Don't forget to note that he would also treat ethnic customers like shit, which is usually a bit of a no-no for corporate, since that means complaints and dealing with angry consumers. Or the fact that he would be a big pain in the ass to train, due to him being a mixture of horrifically inept at most things and being so passive with it that he demands others hold him by the hand through the whole thing. He'd be fucked in most jobs he would actually rate for unless he actually got some therapy.
 
ToroidalBoat said:
Has it ever dawned on Sweet why people keep suggesting he get therapy or psychiatric help in the first place? Or does he think he's "juuuuuust fine" and the "dang dirty liberals" suggest such just because "he's conservative?"
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He thinks it's a conspiracy that people want him to go to a brain doctor, especially people he now deems as liberals. Namely, the conspiracy is that going to a shrink is an attempt to just force him to go through hoops and spend money for no gain. At least that was his (piss poor) logic when Arkansas State gave him the ultimatum to either go to psychiatric counselling or he'll get booted.

Honestly, I think it's because he refuses to believe he's horrifically maladjusted.
 
I'm fairly certain Sweets has been to a psychiatrist and diagnosed with something. Otherwise he wouldn't have a tugboat and his mom wouldn't have control of the tugboat.
 
Chan the Wizard said:
I'm fairly certain Sweets has been to a psychiatrist and diagnosed with something. Otherwise he wouldn't have a tugboat and his mom wouldn't have control of the tugboat.
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Oh that? His mom browbeat him on both items. The former is because he has proven to be utterly unwilling to try and get a job, and the latter was after he was so retarded he let his former-crackhead of a brother steal all of his presigned checks and drain his own account dry for crack. He only did that because mommy told him to. Hell, he only got those two other "jobs" because mommy pulled all the strings and coerced him into doing it.

But no, there is nothing wrong with him. It is completely normal to want to regularly stalk people for decades over a self-inflicted eviction and threaten to behead them and put said heads on spikes in the front yard.

By the by, even Chris acquiesced to getting therapy when he was told to by PVCC after what he did to Mary Lee Walsh. That says a lot about Jonny boy's ability to deal with people when the posterboy for autism has a better grip on the situation than he does.
 
AJMLurker said:
Random question for the Sweetorians. What is the connection between Sweet and pyramids?
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John is a moron and like many morons believes in pseudoscience because it makes him feel intelligent.
 
AJMLurker said:
Random question for the Sweetorians. What is the connection between Sweet and pyramids?
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He believes in pyramid power. I don't know how he got into it specifically, but it was something he tried to turn into a scientific experiment back when he was in like junior high or something. I say try because this is Jonathan Mack Sweet, and he is therefore the most inept person on earth. Basically, he stored peanuts for like two weeks, one under a pyramid, one base. He then tested and gave them to the class without doing something as simple as a blind taste test. Then using the heavy bias of the ign'nant, he then declared his pyramid peanuts were somehow better.

In short, Jonathan Mack Sweet is exactly the type of man we make fun of Chris for; he would sell his house for magic beans.
 
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