🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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Okay but those comic pages tho.
01_by_haggismccrablice-dan8xwl.jpg

Okay, Sweets, you had me for the first three panels and then it all turned to garbage. A hand covered in jizz with sparkles floating around it? Someone dropping a coil of rope through the skylight of the museum? Jon's transvestite persona Sweet Tart charging across the floor like a rhino? Some guy representing Dale swiping a painting? The hand in the fourth panel clearly belongs to Dale, but wtf does this image have to do with anything else? Where are the two characters in relation to each other? Are we meant to infer that Sweet thinks about his would-be stepfather jerking off sometimes?

02_by_haggismccrablice-dan8zdc.jpg

Sweet Trans spends two panels performing some poorly-rendered gymnastic maneuvers (complete with Gonterman-esque "EJECT!"-style written sound effects) to evade the museum's security measures, and reveals when she lands in the third panel that she's apparently wearing swim fins for some autistic reason. Her appearance causes Dale to shit himself as his right leg spontaneously contorts itself into a pretzel. They spend a couple panels flailing at each other, which ends with Dale pinned face-down as Sweets straddles him, leering in profane hunger. Then somehow Dale's ass ends up in front of Sweet's face so that he can assault her with a raunchy fart and what appears to be a yellow turd studded with undigested Skittles. I am now unsure as to whether or not Dale's character is meant to be a villain or a "lovable rascal" like Sweets, considering Jon Boy's depraved appreciation for flatulence and poop.
tl;dr Sweet can't draw comics, news at 11.
 
@Shadow Fox, I applaud you for taking the time to critique Sweet's comic. Trying to read his comic is both a painful and nigh impossible feat. Sonichu is at least readable so you can enjoy its badness. It's so bad that it's funny. On the other hand, Sweet's comic is so bad that it's, well, bad.

Also while I knew that Sweet Tart was meant to be a female version of Jonny boy, I did not realize until your post that the name Sweet Tart was meant to reflect his own name. Looks like Sweetie boy, the great conservative savior, also dreams of being transgender at times.
 
More confirmation that he reads this site. He's fixed his illiterate misspelling of Veterans Day.

It would be nice if Sweet would get the help he needs and become a productive member of society. But let's remember that not only does he maintain that there's nothing wrong with him, but he does so while receiving SSDI payments because of his mental illness. And he blames mental health professionals for being involved in the conspiracy to boot him out of ASU. The only way he'll go to therapy is at the point of a gun.
 
That's another CWC likeness: he thinks Female Him would be pretty (I think this one is meant to be pretty), indeed dazzling, with a great body that would look best in skimpy clothing.

@Shadow Fox - I think the Skittles-turd is one of her earrings. Look at the panel where she straddles Dale. (That isn't weirdly Freudian at all.)
 
Dr. Merkwurdichliebe said:
More confirmation that he reads this site. He's fixed his illiterate misspelling of Veterans Day.

It would be nice if Sweet would get the help he needs and become a productive member of society. But let's remember that not only does he maintain that there's nothing wrong with him, but he does so while receiving SSDI payments because of his mental illness. And he blames mental health professionals for being involved in the conspiracy to boot him out of ASU. The only way he'll go to therapy is at the point of a gun.
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How does he get tardbucks if he's never been to a shrink? Don't you usually need a diagnosed mental illness?
 
Ruin said:
How does he get tardbucks if he's never been to a shrink? Don't you usually need a diagnosed mental illness?
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He's rather tight-lipped about that particular period in his life. I suspect he was forced to see a shrink just long enough to get a diagnosis that would qualify him for disability insurance. That is literally the only contribution he's made to the family in 20 years.
 
Ruin said:
How does he get tardbucks if he's never been to a shrink? Don't you usually need a diagnosed mental illness?
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He ain't talking about what was involved in summoning his :tugboat:. At first he denied that he was on welfare at all; then he started claiming that he reluctantly decided to accept a "small government stipend" that is available for people with laryngitis. We've heard him talk on the video he posted a while ago. So that ain't it.
 
Dr. Merkwurdichliebe said:
He ain't talking about what was involved in summoning his :tugboat:. At first he denied that he was on welfare at all; then he started claiming that he reluctantly decided to accept a "small government stipend" that is available for people with laryngitis. We've heard him talk on the video he posted a while ago. So that ain't it.
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There is an entire industry of shady professionals who will certify you as having whatever disability you say you've got if you pay their fee. Mama Sweet probably dragged him (kicking and screaming no doubt) to one of these people and got a diagnosis that would pay out. I am curious as to what the paperwork says, but of course, that's confidential and unlike ADF, I don't think Sweet's gonna post it for pity points (he doesn't care about asspats like Phil does). Plus I don't think he knows how to operate a document scanner (no one told him), so that will remain a mystery.
 
DrJonesHat said:
There is an entire industry of shady professionals who will certify you as having whatever disability you say you've got if you pay their fee. Mama Sweet probably dragged him (kicking and screaming no doubt) to one of these people and got a diagnosis that would pay out. I am curious as to what the paperwork says, but of course, that's confidential and unlike ADF, I don't think Sweet's gonna post it for pity points (he doesn't care about asspats like Phil does). Plus I don't think he knows how to operate a document scanner (no one told him), so that will remain a mystery.
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According to this Social Security site, Sweet would qualify for disability payments quite easily.

Personality Disorders
To qualify for Social Security benefits with a personality disorder, you need evidence showing that your condition causes you to be unable to adapt to social or work situations and that the condition has caused long term problems. The disorder needs to cause at least one of these symptoms:

  • Autistic thinking
  • Seclusion
  • Inappropriate hostility
  • Inappropriate suspiciousness
  • Odd thought, speech, behavior, or perception patterns
  • Aggressiveness
  • Dependence
  • Passiveness
  • Constant mood disturbances
  • Impulsive, damaging behavior, especially regarding relationships
You only need to tick one box on that list to qualify. Based on his own descriptions of his behavior over the years, Sweet would get a big check mark next to all of them.
 
Random thought crossed my mind today while getting my hair cut. Sweet is convinced that all he needs is a toupee to look young again, ignoring the fact that toupees tend to look obvious and awful. He might do well to just shave his horrifying lumpy head. There's no point in fighting a losing battle, after all.

Then that last sentence replayed in my head. And I remembered who I was thinking about.
 
ToroidalBoat said:
If Sweet thinks all he needs is a toupee to look young, then it's pretty obvious no one told him toupees tend to look fake.
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Was looking for the shoop of him with the toupee to post but then found an even better response. :biggrin:
ToroidalBoat said:
I remember Sweet unironically thinking a 'shop of him with hair posted here made himself look youger. Sweet may suffer from an impairment in facial recognition that CWC also suffers from.
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ToroidalBoat said:
Holy crap, that was over a year ago. I forgot all about that.
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Time flies when you're milking cows fam.

Not sure if this was mentioned before but
HaggisMcCrablice said:
Drinking: kiwi strawberry bottled water
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Maybe there's hope for him after all if he's started drinking the kiwi Kool-Aid. ;)
 
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